Monday Facetime Video: Finding your joy.

by

Dizclaimer: I’d planned to take a break from the serious videos, yet after a weekend filled with joyful-Toddler I felt compelled to film the below. Next week? The debut of the Ren Man!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyrS1tponps

So there you go, Oh Bumbling Band.

An additional (and in my opinion crucial) step on our year long journey toward personal responsibility.

And your joy?

How do you find it?

Are you already able to bring to mind these feelings (physical & emotional) with ease & at a moments notice?

Or do you, as I did, need to practice this skill in order to transition more swiftly away from times of stress into moments of joy or calm?

Please to hit us all up in the comments.

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Comments

  1. The last time I felt pure joy was in Big Sur last January. Or so that was my gut reaction to your question. But that’s rediculus. Every day I experience pure joy, but I’m too distracted by LIFE to enjoy it. I love your idea of writing this down. It really goes with my ever developing journaling project. Charlotte gave me the idea of writing down things I’m grateful for, and this joy thing ties right in. I especially want to remember that feeling in mind AND body. I wish I had done that in Big Sur. It would be nice to go back and read about that feeling, to remind myself what it’s like and to look for it EVERY day in all the little things. Who needs sunsets and beaches? I am going to think about this morning in the pool. Wait a second. THAT’S where I experience pure joy every day – in the pool, when I have a lane to myself!

  3. I would have said I could easily bring to mind everything you describe in your video and yet I don’t think I can in that detail.
    The last time I felt complete joy was when I was in Colorado skiing in the quiet and beauty.

    I am definitely going to work on being able to summon this feeling.

  4. Hey Miz,

    Complete joy? I’m recalling laying on a remote beach along a river in Idaho. At night, settling in – just a sleeping bag and a a pillow. My wife and kids sleeping beside me. The stars as bright as I’ve ever seen. Complete joy..in a very subdued way.

  5. I’ve been recalling that time and place when I meditate recently. It is soooo helpful and calming to my mind and body.

  6. You know, before 2004 I’d have to say that I couldn’t recall that feeling of “pure joy”. Reaching that became a goal for me in a way, and the idea for me wasn’t to “work” at “peacefulness”, I guess in a way some of us do really have to struggle to let go enough to really “be in the moment”

    There are times that this “pure joy” takes me totally unawares. I’ll be driving and see something that thrills me. When I lived in FL I’d drive over the Skyway bridge over Tampa Bay, because I loved seeing the ocean and land spread out in front of me.

    These days the moments of pure joy come in looking out over the valley and seeing the volcanos in the distance. Since that’s a view I get every day from my living room window, I have a lot of opportunity for joy.

    My greatest moment, however, is associated with the shore: the marine wildlife reserve near Cabrillo Beach in CA. I’ve had experiences there that are pretty darn close to religious (and that’s saying a lot for an atheist-rationalist like me!)

    One of the ways I trigger these feelings again (besides looking out my window) is through my photography. When looking back at some of these pictures, I can almost taste the salty wind on my lips, catch the sense of vastness, feel closer to something divine.

    I feel truly blessed (yeah, another strong word for an atheist) to have as many purely joyful experiences in my life on an almost day to day basis.

  7. I like how you break it down into all the parts which make up our joy.
    I have been quite stressed as of late (job) and really need to practice this as a calming method.

  9. I think sometimes it takes me stopping and thinking, almost taking in the moment before I realize how joyous things can be. I’m talking about the little things in life, like the cuddle of your beloved hubby or dog. Great idea to write it down.

    ~rupal

  10. Rupal? you still on vay cay? if YES then IM HONORED.

    Lance? can you recall your joy at a moments notice? Im curious as you DO seem so calmcenteredpeaceful.

    and WELCOME BACK FAB KATE!!!!

    mamahood calls—

    Miz.

  11. One of my joys is certainly spending time with my Hugh. Last weekend when we got stalked and yapped at by coyotes and both of us ran like hades to get away was scary but completely joyous because 1. I could run, and 2. I was with Hugh and knew we’d talk about this adventure forever. Another with him is the times we’ve gone sledding this winter – being able to fit on the sled and giving in to the reckless abandon of flying down a hill hell-bent-for-trees was very freeing. I’ve not laughed in release like that in a long time and I got to share it with Hugh.

    This past week I made my kids make flashcards to learn some vocabulary they’d be using – one kid went on and on about how amazing that was because it actually worked for her. JOY JOY JOY!

    Yeah, I can call those things back up. They ones with Hugh aren’t necessarily “calming” but bring me warm fuzzies anyway.

  12. Miz I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this post!!! I love animals and right now for me, when little man and I go visit the dogs as we are leavingI feel such a sense of joy! We just spent an hour loving on dog, petting it, hugging it and it’s so much fun! I always walk away feeling, happy, peaceful….joyous!!!! I think that I can recall the feeling, but I haven’t tried in stressful situations. I will have to give that a try.

  13. Hi Miz,
    I suffer from panic attacks and learning to do just what you detailed in your video has really helped me.

    For me it is all about the details in order to be able to recall my place of calm and joy when I feel an attack coming on.

    Really helpful post!

    Kari

  14. SO funny… my pure moment of joy came when I finished my 6 miles yesterday! Seriously! I had a smile on my face for hours!

    Of course my other pure moments of joy are cooking with the toddler. When he is BEING the patient helpful little man that is! lol

  15. MizFit, I love this post… so often I get carried away in the stresses of life and forget to focus on feeling joy! Even when my fiance and I got engaged, the joy was quickly overcome by the “OHMYGOD how are we going to pay for a wedding? Our 2 crazy families will have to be in the same room together…with alcohol… for a very long time!”

    I often feel joy when I’m driving, especially on a beautifully sunny day when my favorite Allman Brothers song comes on the shuffle on the iPod, and I can just jam out and enjoy the sun.

  16. Hi MizFit,

    I’m a new reader & love the video posts.

    I need to rethink this concept as my thought of what brings me joy immediately when to the material.

    I will be back and thank you for getting my brain started on a Monday!

  19. I am not sure how to do this yet.

    But I woke up this morning, and went through my first-thing habitual check of all of the things that are wrong, and thought, this is the wrong way around. I should be waking up and thinking of all the things that are right, of what a happy weekend it was, perhaps… rather than about my anxiety about things that are not real or that I cannot change. It would be a better way to start the day.

  20. Great challenge Mizfit! When I’m stressed and in need of a joy moment, I focus my breathing around my heart…I’ll even place my hand on my chest if I can’t quite get there. Then I think about my 2 dogs greeting me at the door full of unconditional love. It makes me smile every time, and calms me. Works like a charm!

  21. I am a very positive person now. I have always referred to it as having radiance, rather than joy (same thing, though). My husband comments on it, and calls me Ms. Radiance – which I love!

    It started by just focusing on the positive all the time, and really looking to find the positive in any situation – because there is always some nugget to take away from even the worst of times.

  22. What a beautiful idea! Being rather, shall we say, extreme of emotion, I definitely know what joy feels like. And I feel joy with some frequency. Usually it’s something small that triggers it – my baby’s giggle, waking up with my husband curled around me like a shell, a new max weight (the barbell kind not the scale kind). My problem is that I’m often overwhelmed by intense emotions. Because the effervescent highs are matched by the bottomless lows. Unless I’m medicated. But then I dno’t feel like me anymore.

  23. Wonderful post! Accentuating the positive – so easy to do and yet something that can get lost under the layers of responsibility, boredom and stress of life. Thanks for the reminder about appreciating the joy in life.

  24. (caution sappy comment ahead!)
    I have to say that you all are a facet of my joy.

    I’m humbled by how many of you make time to start your day here (I know for some it isn’t the morning, but…) with me.

    Every time I think:

    I’m out of ideas.

    OR
    I don’t have MizPostWritingTimeThisWeek
    I reflect on the joy.

  25. Being happy is my normal state, unless something happens to make me otherwise. If I stopped to write down everything that makes me happy, I’d never get anything done. Heck, I even enjoy low-level stress, it motivates me to do stuff.

  26. I agree Dragonmamma & that’s precisely why the Ren Man & I try to focus on stresscitement and love the book Stress For Success.

    But some stresses (another magazine has folded? I’ve lost another job??) call for more mental games to get me thru/beyond….

  27. Superb idea, wonderfully explained 🙂

    One aspect I’d be interested in your opinion on is the problem of feeling worth having the good feeling.

    We can know the theory, or even the practice, all we like, but when we are in the dark places, there is usually an inability to force ourselves to recall feeling good. Do you know what I mean? And often we don’t feel we deserve to feel good either.

  28. I usually live at 7/8 on a 10 scale. If it falls below that, I get disappointed. I hear there is available therapy for this condition.

    Until you fly through 3 hours of a near death experience, then land alive, you don’t know joy. Of course, you don’t want to meet her that way ever again!

  29. Kim readeth my mind.
    & a future facetime.

    About what is your internal monlogue & how can we work to create a new mental mantra.

    The chant of ‘simply by virtue of being me I am enough & I am worthy.’

    (Yanks off counseling degree hat and slaps on babymamma bandanna. More when I’m not rolling with the t’s: thumbs & toddler)

  30. I JUST did a new post on my regular blog this weekend all about the joy in my senses 🙂 We have been having such spring-like weather and I am really taking the time to find joy in it before the next storm instead of feeling like mother nature is playing a cruel trick on me. I hope it is getting easier for me to find joy in the little things, this is a good exercise- thanks!

  31. I’m a pretty happy person to begin with. The glass is half full in my world. What I look for are the moments where I’m simply over-joyed. I want to bottle up the energy that comes with that feeling and store it for a rainy day (such as today).

    Sometimes it’s really just the simple things that make me happy. When I actually realize that I’m buzzing through life and stop to take time to smell the flowers. Moments like that really strike me and make me feel alive. Those few precious moments is all it takes to re-engergize and feel absolutely wonderful, ecstatic to be where I am and have what I have, and FEEL.

  32. I see what Naomi is saying and what you are saying.

    I like the idea of stresscitement as many times scenarios are stressful to me (I’m moving) but I should choose to read them as exciting.

    Sometimes things are just stressful.

    Sorry about the magazine thing, Miz!

  35. Oy, such Dizappointment–for some reason the video is saying it’s unavailable.

    Perhaps too many others are checking it out at the same time? I shall try back later, can’t wait to see what’s on there.

  36. LAST MINUTE & I don’t have link since I’m sitting pulled over in a parking lot but I’m doing a radio thang for MomTalkRadio (google for link perhaps?) in ten min or so.

    915 central time.

    1015 east coast

    About what

    Not sure!

    I’m always up for radio’ventures.

  37. I had one of those pure moments of joy last weekend walking by myself through Westwood Village in LA with a latte. It hit me that I felt so calm and happy. I actually took a minute to think – why am I so happy RIGHT now? And it had to do with sunny weather, a favorite drink and NO place that I HAD to be and nothing that I HAD to be doing.

    Like one of the previous posts… I do experience joy everyday. With my best friend as my husband and two amazing little kids – its hard not to. But, I think it is great idea to have a very specific little memory like above to call on in those less-than-joyful times.

    As always – helpful post and great ideas here. I love to start my Monday with some Mizfit!

  38. If only I could watch the videos at work . . . sigh.

    Piecing together from other comments:

    I don’t really seek joyful moments, but finding joy in any moment. For me, it’s not about doing something that gives me joy, but letting go of the cranky/complaining/frustrated/sad thoughts that keep me from being joyous while I cook dinner, play with my son, drive to work (procrastinate before starting my grading for the day). I have to release the nasty feelings and let the joyous ones unfold.

    A good night’s sleep helps. A lot.

  39. I tend to be able to call them up at a momments notice. But I can do that with most of my emotions too. I always thought everyone could do it. Guess I’m weird…

  42. w-e-l-l, as the Tornado says: I. ALL. DONE.

    It went pretty well considering I was outside the grocery (& there was intermittent beepbeep of backing up delivery trucks) & Im really hoarse (allergies).

    It’s here I think (later): http://www.momtalkradio.com/

    and itunes as well under podcasts.

  43. The last time I felt pure joy was twice on Saturday- first when a boy I’m crushing on left my apartment after we’d gone for lunch and been hanging out for a while (the joy was very energetic- must admit I jumped up and down after the door shut. Hehe). The second time was when I finished my 200 crunches challenge that same day.

    I think I would have felt that pure joy yesterday and today had I been out exercising, because walking pretty much always does it for me, but its been cold again so its taken the joyness out. HOWEVER I shall be focusing on the joyful feelings and carrying them with me throughout the week now- thank you for the reminder!

    The pure joy thing reminds me of days when I used to wake up every single morning feeling that way. That was a wonderful feeling to wake up to.

  44. This is such a great post! Like someone else said, I think of myself as a generally happy person, and yet lately I’ve been bogged down in stress, and this is a really good way to put everything in perspective. I loved what you said in a comment to about being worthy; my weight loss journey has largely been about proving to myself that I am worth the effort it takes to lose this weight, and it’s been a challenge. I have no problem finding the worth in others, but myself? That’s often a very different story indeed!

  45. I honestly have some degree of pure joy every day, but one day last week I was walking/running in the morning, listening to my favorite music, and the sun just started shining on my face. It was so warm and invigorating! I thought about how far I had come physically, mentally, spiritually in the last year and it just filled me with such joy. I think I smiled at the sun for the remainder of my walk.

  46. I like how you talk about the physical feelings of joy.
    I know the physical manifestations of stress well the inverse not so well.

  47. I had complete joy earlier this morning on the phone with a friend. We were talking about our businesses and had a few laughs along the way.

    There’s nothing better than laughing – true laughing – when you can take a step back and not take everything so seriously. That’s my joy for today, but that doesn’t mean I can’t have joyful moments later on.

    I do try to find joy in every day. Has increased my passion and love for life, and brought more love & light to those I love as well.

  48. I have to say – Saturday morning. I was running down the final stretch of the 5k, turned the corner, and saw the time ticking up at the finish a full 3 minutes before I had set my goal to finish. I haven’t gotten my competitive fix on in a while, and smashing my goal time felt really darn good.

    I like to think I find joy in the little things and am generally a pretty happy person, and I don’t even have to fake it, hehe. Even when I’m down I’m pretty easily cheered up. I definitely attribute it to the wonderful man in my life – seriously, if everything else is in the crapper that day, at least I can come home and cuddle up with him.

  50. Wow, I haven’t thought about this in a while. I can call it up during the moment, but only if I have a minute or two to stop and breathe. I’m not as good at calling it up on the fly.

    I do it through spirituality. Everyone’s is different, so I won’t go on about mine here, but yeah. That’s the most fool-proof method for me.

  51. love all your insights. yet must say that SAGAN’S COMMENT made me smile the biggest in recognition of that feeling:

    when a boy I’m crushing on left my apartment after we’d gone for lunch and been hanging out for a while (the joy was very energetic- must admit I jumped up and down after the door shut. Hehe.

    I so recall that with the Ren. Man.

    The same RM who will be here next week demo’ing an exercise and saying not a word.

    NEXT TIME? words. Please RM?

  52. Yes, MizFit, this is indeed a great and timely exercise for this Monday morning filled with potential and planning.

    If we learn to lean into this feeling, it will become a natural and expected state–one in which we sometimes do not court due to MANY different factors.

    I’m recalling, I’m recalling…..

  53. Pure joy and exhuberance? When I did the Bay to Breakers 2 years ago. I had so much garbage come up the days leading to it, and I pushed through and did it anyway. (7.2 mile walk across San Francisco). After the first 1/2 mile all the garbage fell away, and I felt pure joy the rest of the day.

    The buzz lasted me almost a week and taught me that seeking out new experiences and pushing through to make them happen is the secret.

  54. Miz,
    I love this post even though I cannot instantly recall joy, but with deep thought could come up with many instances (i hope!).

    One of your band members, Kim Ayres commented above, “…often we don’t feel we deserve to feel good either.” that pretty much sums it up for me!

    I also followed your link on personal responsibility. Honestly, I don’t blame anyone else for being where I am right now. I can find the joy, remember it, and by doing so can realize ‘the choices I make will dictate the life I lead.”

  55. this couldn’t have come at a better time!

    grumpy, hormonal and very impatient with my kids this morning….not feeling like the best mommy today!

    glad i took the time to watch and listen. going to try to turn the day around with this exercise and hopefully learn to use it to keep my calm.

    thanks miz!

  57. Great video, Miz. I have to say that most of my moments of pure joy involve hysterical laughter with people I love. When I really stop and think about that, I realize that laughter is the one place where I really let myself go. I’m a pretty discplined kind of gal but it all goes to you-know-where when I’m in the middle of a good giggle fit.

    Looking forward to Ren Man’s visit :-).

  58. I could use this skill.
    No joke.
    The ability to go to my safe place when stressed out.
    Thanks for the tips, Miz.

    Bring on Ren Man!

  59. Pure joy? Wow. I think it has been quite some time since I’ve experienced that. Maybe I’m trying too hard. Many moments of satisfaction (exercise induced, usually!), several of calm, buy many more periods of stress lately. Thanks for the reminder to step aside and make the choice to find that joy.

  60. “Lance? can you recall your joy at a moments notice? Im curious as you DO seem so calmcenteredpeaceful.” — that’s a good question — I’m do at times go back to that moment – but it’s not all that often — I wonder if there’s something else here as well I’m just not realizing right now.

  61. I do call up my joy on a daily basis. I found that this summer and I find it invigorating and motivating. It energizes everything else in my life as I think about it. Yes, I’m smiling.

    I need to practice calm more, but I’m better at it than I used to be. I get a very peaceful, zen, centered feeling at the end of pilates yoga. I find myself searching for and calling that up as needed these days.

    It really does help and it makes me feel alive an invigorated. I love that feeling.

  62. Hey Miss Mizzle
    Awhile ago someone asked you about vascularity. Would you please expand on what it is exactly? Are there ways to acheive it? To make it go away? To keep what caused it but lose the apperance and vice versa? Are their health pros and cons? Thank you very much.

  63. The last time I can think of where I experience pure joy?…Probably the moment after I gave birth.

    The feeling of relief, joy, and lightness….and the fact that I could eat carbs again.
    It was amazing and makes me smile just thinking about it.

  65. I hate that I missed this post yesterday – finding and remembering the joy in life is one of my biggest loves. But I was so busy – finding my joy. 🙂

    For me, it’s writing. I adore my kids and husband, I love many many things in life, and I am blessed with an overabundance of joy – but there is just nothing that fills me with life and energy and joy like those moments when the words are flowing freely and the story is writing itself. And even when it’s difficult, the sheer fact that I am doing it, that I am giving myself time and permission to do what I love, is an enormous joy-bringer.

    That, and blowing bubbles with the girls. There’s nothing like blowing bubbles. Messy, sticky, completely without productive purpose – what could be better? 🙂

    V.

  66. Oh, and also? Cannot WAIT for MizterFit – I mean Ren Man – to give us the male perspective on all this! Definitely looking forward to it.

    V.

  67. What a really great post. Thanks for the reminder that life needs pure joy! I get joy when I’m doing what’s best for me and when I’m lovin’ on people who love me!

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