Celebrating a life.

by



Thanks to Shauna for scanning the photo & pointing out I’m holding a Coke can.

My friend Sue would have turned 56 today.

She passed away four months ago only two months after being diagnosed with ovarian cancer.

The picture above was taken at her 50th birthday party.

A surprise party I helped plan (knowing my ‘gifts’ as you all do Im sure you can imagine my piece of the ‘planning’ was nodding in vigorous assent at the ideas party-planning types generated) and which even at the time seemed a fantastically, perfectly over-the-top celebration of my friend’s 50 years.

Ive spent lots of time lately pondering how I could honor Sue today & feeling grateful her family chose to honor her that day and *daily* while she was here with us.

Sue was passionate about helping others.

She was instrumental in both helping me discover my voice and celebrating with me all the small successes along the way.

Sue ‘got’ me.

She understood that my tattooed, tutu’d approach to life might LOOK different than hers to outsiders, but underneath it all we were remarkably, remarkably alike.

(I recall one time a woman I did not know commented to a woman I did how Sue & I made a motley crue.  That phrasing still inexplicably makes me giggle.)

I feel the loss of her daily and most acutely on days when Ive a small step to celebrate.

Anything.

No matter how diminutive.

Sue’s mantra & life-mission was reminding people that every step matters™.

Every movement toward achieving our goals is a step that needs to be both recognized and celebrated.

Big or seemingly small.

So that’s how Ive decided to celebrate my friend today & I demand lovingly ask that you join me.

A two-fold assignment request if you will:

  • Take a moment today to STOP, reflect, identify a recent success and *celebrate* you. No matter how seemingly insignificant MAKE the time to recognize a step you’ve taken toward creating the life you desire.
  • Find the time today to remind someone else of their successes. Email, call, tweet, blog-comment, visit a friend & let him/her know one way you’ve noticed she’s been successful lately.  It may seem silly (hell it may even feel incredibly awkward) but I guarantee you’ll make her day & perhaps, as Sue did for me, propel her onward toward continued success.

And that’s where I leave you on this reflective Friday.

No questions to spark your comments.

No please to hit us all up below.

Just two simple requests & an urging to git on your way.

I know Im preaching to the proverbial choir here but life is short, People.

Today truly is a gift and indeed why it’s called the present.

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Comments

  1. That is really lovely, Miz.

    I will definitely join you in honoring your friend today.

  2. I’ve seen ovarian cancer steal far too many vibrant, active, motivating women. Not just women, really, HELL CATS lol The matriarchs in my family that taught me that women are beautiful creatures no matter what life-path we chose, the important part was to make the choice for ourselves.

    I want to tell you that my husband’s biggest regret for us not going to BlogHer this year was that he wouldn’t get to “re-meet” you. You really made a positive impression on him. You were kind & welcoming to him, and he needed that amongst all those ladies. He also saw how much you looked me in the eye & listened to what I had to say.

    Now, I’m off to tell my mama sisters that I love them 🙂 And to please, please, please, when you feel like something is wrong, don’t stop trying to get those doctors to listen to you. Each one of my lost ladies knew there was something very wrong going on in their bodies & each of them were told it was just menopause. Until it was too late. Trust your instincts, ladies!

  3. What a beautiful way to honor your friend! I’m so very sorry for your loss.

    I would like to celebrate your success today. Yesterday, at least I think it was yesterday you posted about your behemoth treadmill and the daunting task of putting it together. You should be and probably are very proud of yourself for accepting that challenge and putting it together yourself! 🙂

    Thanks for the reminder to celebrate ourselves and our loved ones! It’s something we should all remember to do, but at times we forget and take for granted there will be another day to do it.

    Take care, Carla!

    Big Hugs to you!!

    Natalia

  4. I think my favorite part of this post is that you and your friend realized that you looked different and were completely the same.

    I have been a MizFit reader from the beginning (I rarely comment) when your tagline was something like at the core we are all the same.

    (Anyone else remember that? LOL)

    I liked that sentiment a lot.

    Rachel

  6. This post teared me up for a couple of reasons.

    The loss of your friend and the realization that I tend to achieve and MOVE ON.

    I don’t celebrate.

    Thank you for being the reminder in my life that I am worth it and I need to celebrate me.

  7. I saw your tweet the other day where you told someone that this whole journey is just layering one healthy habit on another (paraphrasing).

    That was an ah ha! moment for me because I tend to be black and white and all or nothing.

    I almost binged yesterday and realized that I had over eaten but could make the choice to have the rest of my day be small healthy steps.

    Today I will celebrate that success instead of hating myself because I got off track at all.

    Thank you for all you do for us and for celebrating your friend.

  8. Great post Miz and a great reminder. Your friend sounds amazing and this is a terrific way to honor her life.

  9. What a lovely way to honor your friend, Miz. we often forget to celebrate the little things.

    This touches a particular cord with me because, as you know, I survived my bout with ovarian cancer. I was lucky. But I did learn, afterward, to appreciate every single day I wake up. Life IS so short and dwelling on the negative seems like just a waste of time.

    So I will honor your friend today by celebrating the positive things in life.

    You are a great woman. The world needs more people like you.

  10. I’ve felt losses such as this one and much more acutely when it is someone who really got me as well.

    Those friends are few and far between.

    I will remind the people in my life of their successes today in honor of Sue.

  13. You are a wonderful friend. I’ve been reminded of my sucuss this week gathering before and after photos for a WW project I’ve put off long enough.

  16. I’m sorry to hear about your friend. She was taken too soon, and hopefully did not suffer great pain during her short time with cancer. I will help you in honoring Sue today.

  20. I can only hope I touch someone in the fashion your friend Sue touched you.

    I will celebrate her today but not glossing over my successes.

  22. Your request is a wonderful way to honor your friend. I actually did this all yesterday because it was the anniversary of my dad’s passing. My family always takes time to reflect and try our best to live in my dad’s image. He celebrated life and I can only hope that I can be half as good a friend he was to so many.

  23. What an amazing post. Really gave me lots to ponder, while making me smile at the same time….reminding me how wonderful life truly is.

    What an incredible post that I will come back to re-read often. Thank you.

  24. Lovely post and a wonderful memorial for your friend. I am so sorry for your loss.

    First off, I will honor your request. Secondly, I want to acknowledge you and all the fabulous support you spread throughout this far-flung community. You do have the gift of encouragement and you spread it around like fairy dust. Thank you for all you do.

  25. i wanted to just type “Amen” but didn’t mean it in the religious way – I meant in the yah baby, you nailed it way.

    so..

    Yah baby, you nailed it.

    Thank you.

  26. What a smile she had, MizFit.

    I did not know your friend but can assure you that you are already carrying on her work.

    Thank you for being the leader of our little community.

  27. I love that photo of you and Sue, and I’m sure you do, too. (hmmm, there were a lot of “oo’s” in that sentence, weren’t there?)

    Lovely idea for honouring her life. I shall go forth and find someone to cheer!

  28. Of course this made me cry. Because my sister-in-law died at the age of 50 on June 3rd after battling Ovarian Cancer for 8 years. Ultimately it was the chemotherapy induced leukemia that got her. I am sorry for the hole in your life and in your heart. I know that you are grieving and celebrating Sue’s life all at the same time. This was a great way to honor her Miz. She’s pleased.

  29. I am very sorry for your loss Miz. She is a treasure. 10 1/2 ” vertical scar – pelvic bone to rib cage remids me every day that life is short! Tell everyone you love them TODAY! There may be no second chances.

  31. What a wonderful way to honor and celebrate a friend! My hubs did a Ride to Conquer Cancer a few weeks ago where they raised over 16 million in hopes to beat this horrible disease.
    YOU are a huge influence on so many so THANK YOU!

  33. Helen DoingA180 is so right. “Grieving and celebrating Sue’s life all at the same time” is spot on. Sue gave so much to so many and her passing has left a huge hole. But I also feel like she’s still here, watching us and cheering us on like she always did. If everyone could know just one “Sue” in their lifetimes, they would be truly blessed.
    Life is WAY too short.

  35. Carla, Thank you so much for letting us know and honoring our dear friend Sue in such a profound, meaningful and loving way. Made my smile through tears. I miss Sue so much but her legacy is ageless, timeless, forever reminding us we matter and what we do matters.

  36. Miz…thank u for this reminder. Actually, with your assignment..I try to do that each and every day. I learned a long time ago, to try to live my life now, so I have no regrets when it comes toward the end, no matter when that happens. As I get older, it becomes easier to do those two little things!
    Celebrate YOU first…no matter how big or small…it opens things up to do the second….celebrate others in your life..
    Too many of us live it backwards..the focus on others THEN ourselves…it empties the well instead of filling it up!
    Thank you for ALL you do for the blogging community. You have made a HUGE difference in my life, but I think you know that!

  39. Great post, Miz. Sue was fortunate to have you as a friend, I am sure, just as you were to have her. Cheers to her life.

  41. A wonderful memorial to your friend, Sue.

    I remember my babbling conversation with you at Fitbloggin reflecting on what we both have come to realize through these events in our lives. We live differently now, don’t you think? Life is terribly short. We gotta love all the people in our lives while we got ’em. “LOVE HARD” is my motto 🙂

  42. Other than the typical loss of loved ones passing due to age appropriate illness / natural causes, I’ve not lost anyone close to me within their prime.

    I’m so sorry for your loss…you have honored her well.

  44. I don’t have much to add that hasn’t already been said except the fact I think you have helped so many of US find our footing and our voices.

    You are paying it forward.

  45. What a wonderful way to honor your friend. That’s a great photo of her and you can see her spirit shine through…

  46. I celebrate YOUR success, as a wonderful mother, amazing wife, fantastic writer, and, most importantly, unapologetically yourself.

  47. Thank you Miz for the reminder to say what we feel before it is too late.

    This was a beautiful tribute to your friend.

    We all need to pass it forward.

  48. Hugs, Miz.

    Being open to one another, talking about feelings, telling someone how AMAZING they are… it can be difficult. And that’s unfortunate. Too much success slides by the wayside and gets ignored.

    Thank you for this reflective Friday.

  49. MizFit,

    I promise I will do that today. A close family member recently got a health scare and I am worried. At the same time, it reminded me that this journey is not just fun and games. It is the life I intend to lead. So thank you for your support and inspiration. I want to be you when I grow up (which may never happen!)
    xo

  50. Thank you thank you thank you for sharing Sue’s story. Not only will I honor her today, but everyday, by doing what you you asked. Not only that, I am going to pay it forward 🙂

  52. What a beautiful tribute to your beautiful friend Sue.

    Celebrating “moi” is not usually on my list of things to do…but today I will.

    I will celebrate the success of others today too.

    First you. I congratulate you on the success you have as a Mama! I love reading about you and your precious daughter. You are a great mother!!!

  54. I am so sorry for the loss of your friend.

    My mother passed away 11 days after being diagnosed with ovarian cancer. It terrified me. And being obese is a risk factor… added to family history.

    What I have done for me? I have lost enough weight to significantly decrease my risk. And I drink green tea EVERY DAY which scientific studies have shown can cut overian cancer risk by up to 56%. Spread the word.

    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16344429

  56. I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend. What a beautiful smile she had. It will be an honor to help celebrate life in the memory of your dear friend.

  57. YOU ARE AMAZING & I know Sue is looking down & telling you that!

    I lost both my parents way before I thought I would so yes, life is way short!

    ?Take a moment today to STOP, reflect, identify a recent success and *celebrate* you. No matter how seemingly insignificant MAKE the time to recognize a step you’ve taken toward creating the life you desire. I WILL DO THIS MIZ!!!!

    ?Find the time today to remind someone else of their successes. Email, call, tweet, blog-comment, visit a friend & let him/her know one way you’ve noticed she’s been successful lately. It may seem silly (hell it may even feel incredibly awkward) but I guarantee you’ll make her day & perhaps, as Sue did for me, propel her onward toward continued success. WILL DO STARTING WITH TELLING YOU WHAT AN AMAZING PERRSON YOU ARE! A ROLE MODEL FOR US & YOUR FAMILY!

  58. As a 34-year-old cancer survivor, it is rare that a day goes by that I’m not thankful to be here (though I don’t ALWAYS do a good job of living life to the fullest … there is still the internet after all 😉 ).

    Hopefully, some of you who have never been through it will learn from our experiences and not need to go through it to learn to live.

  59. Hi Miz

    I don’t know if you recall but we met last year at BlogHer in the lobby of the hotel.

    The way you are full on looking at Sue is how you were with me as well.

    Present.

    That is your gift to all you encounter and it made a deep impression on me that morning.

    Ana

  61. I ran my fastest 5K yesterday. I’m celebrating that today by taking a nice hot bath. I don’t take enough baths. Ah…

    I will celebrate my mother today by telling her how amazing she is. I will celebrate my father by telling him how awesome he is.

    Without them, I wouldn’t be me.

  62. Tears.

    That’s all I got right now. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about a woman in my hometown that passed away a few years ago from cancer. Every time I hear the song “I Can Only Imagine” I am reminded of her and also reminded to look around me and start counting.

    Loving husband.
    amazing sons
    and life ahead!

  63. I lost my cousin who was a second mother to me to that same dreaded disease.

    Yes, I celebrate their lives because I know they would have wanted it that way. Thank you, Carla!

  64. Sorry for the loss of your vibrant beautiful friend. Thank you for sharing and I will honor her by telling as many people I can how much I appreciate them and how special they are.

  65. Great post! Thanks for sharing your friends story! She sounds like a great person. So true life is short, and we all need to live it up and be happy 🙂 xoxo

  66. Wow. This truly makes me want to celebrate myself today even more. People that ‘get’ us are so rare, and life is short. Beautiful post. Thanks.

  67. and this is why I adore you. because in any situation we have a choice. either learn from it and make what we have better…or lust after the past and forget to live.

    thank you for reminding us that the present is important, the most important, to live in.

  68. A remarkably touching tribute to your friend who left the planet so quickly it makes my head spin to consider how brief her time was – I remember the first few emails you sent and me saying “don’t worry…” (blahblahblah).

    I know there are some who think that by her death and *this* celebration of life, she teaches all of us, and through you, she is doing a fine job. Thank you.

  69. What a beautiful post, Carla! You’re right, life is short and we spend far too much time berating ourselves and too little time acknowledging, let along celebrating, our successes and our progress. Thank you for the reminder.

  70. Life is too short to continually beat myself up over perceived shortcomings.

    Thank you for always being the voice of reason and a reminder.

  71. Sue sounds like a very special lady. You keep part of Sue alive by talking about her and sharing with others what she was about. Isn’t it amazing that the two of you, though you seem to the outside world to be complete opposites, taught each other so much.

  72. That picture and your friends smile.

    Wowzer.

    Life lessons are all around us.

    Today I will honor Sue.

  73. awesome photo
    awesome post
    awesome success (yay you, I have referred to you often to my friends when the topic of branding has come up, b/c you are the perfect example to me, of one who has done it amazingly well.

    awesome request.. thank you!

    I honour both you and Sue today.. thank you, I really needed this.

    Amy

  74. When you talk about your friend Sue, I think of my friend Helen. She was very much a catalyst in my life. I signed up for a coaching program that starts in the fall and have wanted to badly to be able to tell her. I know she would shout Woo Hoo! She became one of the first certified coaches back in 1995 and lived her battle with MS without fear. She is one of my heros. Having friends like Sue and Helen, even for a relatively short time can change our lives in ways we never dreamed of.
    Sending you love and light today. So excited to meet in person in Las Vegas. xoxo

  75. Isn’t it so hard to lose a friend. I hear you. I had a PR in a 5K today! 35 minutes, rather slow for many, but fast for me.
    And, I shall tell my kids how proud I am of them, they worked really hard this school year. How’s that for 1 and 2?

  76. The power of your blog is the genuine posts that make people take a moment and think. It is a wonder why we aren’t better at motivating others and accomplishing more ourselves and truly be grateful for our accomplishments.

  77. So sad to hear about that. Cancer is stealing the lives of many innocent people and that is not right…. Good luck to you & her family

    ChocolateCoatedRunner.wordpress.com

  78. I’m sorry you lost such a dear friend. I lost my grandmother to ovarian cancer. It was terrible 🙁

    I’m a little late to this party, but I did take time to celebrate me today. The me who has accomplished so much more than I’ve ever dreamed possible. This year, this month, this week.

    Every.single.day. I tell someone I’m proud of them. Through blog comments, on Twitter, Facebook, in person. I am proud of all of my Sisters in shrinkage. I am proud of my children. My husband. And it’s no secret. Life is too short.

    Cheers to Sue, and your motley crue.

  79. hey, nice blog about your friend.
    It’s always about what’s underneath.
    so…recently thingie to celebrate.
    um,
    organizing my bedroom and making it really pretty.
    I enjoy it so much more now.

  80. I’m really late to this but wanted to add I will honor your friend today.

    I was traveling last week so I missed this post.

    I start my mornings here Miz for the very reason it seems such a person post resonated with 80+ people.

    You are about so much more than fitness. I, too, recall when your tagline was “at the core we’re all the same” and see you as our healthy living guidance counselor.

    Lovely post.

  81. This post spoke to me because I tend to nail goals (this weekend I ran my frist half marathon) and gloss over them and rush on to the next goal.

    I never take time to celebrate.

  82. Holy comments woman!

    I don’t have time to read all of them so I will just add my own simple one.

    Thank you for the reminder about the little things mattering.

  83. What a beautiful beautiful tribute! And even though I’m a day late, I will ABSOLUTELY do those two things. The first one is easy – I be celebrating alllll day today:) The second one I want to make my life’s mission. Seriously.

  84. I love both of those assignments and actually did #2 Friday before I even read this! Have you read “The Precious Present?” It’s one of my favorite books.

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