Don’t.Compare.

I love me some Tara. Really there’s no other intro than that. Im glad she’s here. I dragged her here. #thatisall.

*Microphone in hand*

*tap tap tap*

Is this thing on?

So I’ve tried starting this blog post for a few days now. Each time I tried to sit down and hammer out some life changing words of wisdom to bestow on the masses over here at the WoM (World of MizFit) I got nervous.

Let me rephrase that: I got down right freaked out.

I mean who am I? How can I possibly compare to what has been written before me?  What if what I write doesn’t make sense to anyone? What if what I write is boring or doesn’t help one single person? What if someone says “What was Miz thinking letting this newbie run amuck on her site?”

I was determined to get this post out to her. I couldn’t let this opportunity pass me by. I had to somehow get over my fear that people will judge me and in judging me come to the conclusion that I am not very good at what I do. Something I’ve learned while on this LCJ (Life Changing Journey) is that when you slow down in life and open yourself up the universe, it will send you the words of wisdom that you need (when you need it).

I got those words this morning in the form of a card that’s been on my refrigerator for some time now but I’ve become so accustom to seeing it I stopped paying attention to the words and forgot it was even there (hello universe):

Don’t compare your goals.

Don’t compare your training.

Don’t compare your accomplishments.

Just Be

I need to see these words every day. I spend too much time worrying about what everyone else is doing on their journey (how much weight have THEY lost, how fast can THEY run, what size are THEY wearing, how many miles can THEY go) that I often times lose faith in what I’VE done.

I’ve lost 105 pounds

(insert name) has lost 125 pounds and is still losing weight.

I can run a 9 minute mile

(insert name) can run an 8 minute mile.

I can wear a size 12

(insert name) can slip into a size 8 and doesn’t have all the skin hanging out of the sides of their jeans

I just ran a half marathon

(insert name) just ran a full marathon and has been running the same amount of time as you.

Miz asked me to do a guest post

(insert name) wrote a better post and what’s the point? What you have to say is nonsense and no one is going to read it anyways.

What to know what else I’ve learned while on this LCJ (oh and feel free to spread this TLA – three letter acronym – around. I coined it and it’s what’s going to make me famous)? I’ve learned that if I’m thinking it: So are you.

Stop comparing.

Stop looking at (insert name) and wondering why you can’t do what they’ve done. Stop looking at (insert name) and wishing you could lose as much weight as they have. Stop looking at (insert name) and proclaiming to yourself “I’ll never be as good as them, so what’s the point?”

Comparing ourselves to others does NOTHING but keep us from moving forward towards the life that we deserve to live. It keeps us bathed in fear and shame. It wraps its greedy little arms around us and squeezes until we’re so convinced we can’t be successful that we just stop trying. Want to compare yourself to someone? Compare yourself to the millions of people that won’t get up today and try to take control of their lives. Compare yourself to the people that will mindlessly stuff their faces with food so uncontrollably that in a few short years they will either be closer to their final destination or have already arrived and left this world not knowing what they could have accomplished. Compare yourself to the people that will never come across this post (that I was too scared to write) as you have today and feel that fire begin to burn inside of you. The fire to stand up. To live. To take control and move forward.

Compare yourself to who you WERE.

Go towards what you WANT.

~ Tara

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Comments

  1. says

    Tara… how in the world did you get into my head?!!

    Just this morning I was thinking… why post anymore. There are sooooo many wonderful blogs, and they share such great messages… what’s the point of one more??

    Now I see the root of that thinking… comparison.
    Thank you.

  2. says

    Tara for someone who struggled what to write, you did a GREAT job! I needed to hear this! I compare myself too much with others and what I need to do is focus on what I have been able to do for myself the last 3 years. Its truly amazing!

    Thanks again!

  3. says

    Beautifully written. I am uber competitive and have to realize that I’m not 22 any more and that’s okay if the woman that is can do 340 walking lunges and that I probably shouldn’t try to do that (anymore) I’ve shared on Facebook.

  4. says

    I needed to hear that this morning- LOVE the
    “Don’t compare your goals.

    Don’t compare your training.

    Don’t compare your accomplishments.

    Just Be”

    I might steal that for my refrigerator….

  5. says

    You know who needed to read this today?

    Me.

    Thanks Miz for posting this on a day when I needed it most.

    That Tara has some great words. I wonder if maybe you could get her digits and pass them along? I’d love to buy her a coffee!

    *I crack myself up*

  6. says

    I love this post! I’ve been telling my mom this because she is in her 60s and wants to lose weight fast. We go to weight watchers and she’s always comparing her weight loss to everyone else regardless of age or gender. I try to encourage her and I’m going to share these words with her! Thanks

  7. says

    I’m glad MizFit and the Universe conspired to bring me this post! It really resonates. I like to say that I need to “run my own race” and not compare my weight/size/pace/goals to others. And, when I feel like I’ve had a cr@ppy workout, I do try to give myself credit for “suiting up and showing up.” Thanks for putting aside your fears, Tara!

  8. says

    HAHA! I enjoyed this very much, especially the part about if you’re thinking it then other people are feeling that too about themselves. We have to compare ourselves TO ourselves. That’s the way I like to live my life :) And I think I’m much happier for it.

  9. says

    Amazing. I compare. I know I shouldn’t, but I do. This was exactly what I needed. I think I need this tattooed on my person “Comparing ourselves to others does NOTHING but keep us from moving forward towards the life that we deserve to live.”

  10. says

    I am printing this out and putting it on my mirror at home.

    Thanks for a brazilliont post. (And I super-pink-puffy-heart the acronym LCJ. You can consider it passed on brilliantly.)

  11. says

    So Very True! It’s even dangerous to compare yourself to people who do less/have accomplished less than you. It can easily lull you into mediocrity, keep you from pushing and pursuing YOUR best. The only person you should compare yourself to, is yourself.

    • says

      Wow…you said it! I have found myself comparing as Tara talks about…who does this better? I hadn’t thought or realized that a comparison to someone who is making “not so healthy” decisions can do just as you said…lull you into mediocrity. Thanks for that reminder too!

  12. says

    Thank you so much! I am obsessed with comparing myself to others. I am always.. fatter, shorter, quieter, nose bigger, hair duller.. and on and on.. I hate it, but can’t seem to stop. I see or hear people that accomplish things I want..and it bothers me. I know better. But I, just this morning actually.. told myself there is no other me. No one can be me. I have to love me. I have to take care of me. That’s it. end of story.
    So thank you for this post. It really helped keep that thought going for me :)

  13. Vena says

    So true, I love this post. I need to remember this especially during my low periods. Thank You Tara

  14. says

    I feel like clapping my hands and stamping my feet… Great post, Tara! I can’t be reminded about this often enough, so thank you!

  15. says

    I feel like when I really embrace this – when I quit competing or judging and just do what feels good FOR ME – is when I shock the hell out of myself. I had no idea I could wear the size that I do, run as fast or as long as I have, pick up a new sport (me! band-nerd turned recreational-athlete!) or even decorate my house as well as I have. Comparing myself to others just held me back, all this time.

  16. says

    Awesome post Tara! Well said. So timely for me. I have found myself doing it again lately…just when you think you’ve got it licked it sneaks up, well so and so is doing this…so what! I just have to be the best ME.

  17. says

    Awesome, awesome, useful post. I may have to print this one out and hang it in my office. I know that green-eyed monster that comes with comparing often tries to kick my tail.

  18. says

    So true! Nothing positive comes out of comparing! I lost 110 pounds. Who cares if someone else lost 200 pounds? They had a lot more to lose than me, so it makes sense their number is bigger. Everyone is a faster runner than me. I don’t run to be fast, I run because I liked the challenge.

    Great post!!

  19. says

    The good news is this is something I have down…I am so super freaking wonderful that there is no one to compare me to. I jest…seriously, I am not a comparer, so that is one less thing I have to lose.

    Tara, thank you for your guest post and I really enjoyed reading it!

  20. says

    Wow!! I really needed to hear this today!! I need to stop thinking about how far I “still” have to go and think about how far I have come so far!! Thanks for the reminder and thanks to Mel for linking you and sending me here to read it!!

  21. madeleine says

    I think as women we are always comparing ourselves, and sometimes this can result in nastiness. It’s always women who give you the once over when you walk into a gym or are in public. Women can be so nasty, especially if they perceive you to be slimmer, prettier, fitter or whatever. Yes, let’s stop comparing and be the best that we can be. Not judge other women for their accomplishments or “perceived” failures. Let’s be a sisterhood and support each other not tear each other down. We will never be powerful if we continue to judge ourselves according to others.

  22. Kevin says

    I guess I’m in the minority here – I think we’re going to have to agree to disagree.

    It was a very thoughful, well-written post. I just disagree that we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others. I think if you strap on the blinders and stay in your own little world, you risk becoming complacent.

    I compare myself to others all the time, and it’s very motivating. It’s helped me break barriers and reach levels I never thought I could. I used to think running 5K in 25 minutes was pretty good. Then the guy on the treadmill next to me did it in 22 minutes. So that became my goal, and now that’s my new normal.

    If I’d never compared myself to that guy, would I have tried? Would I have pushed myself to that next level? Would I even have known it was POSSIBLE?

    I think as long as you do it in a healthy, positive way, comparing yourself to others is a great way to expand your horizons and push yourself to achieve new goals.

  23. says

    LOVE THIS. LOVE IT. Thank you for a beautiful post. Now off to stalk your blog. (Thanks Miz for introducting us to so many sources of inspiration.)

Trackbacks

  1. [...] MizFit had a guest post from Tara at 263andcounting.com, it really struck a chord with me. I am really bad about comparing myself with others. Lately I’ve been focused on thinking that the people I’m doing Rugged Maniac with are much better athletes than I am. This helped me realize that this way of thinking was only holding me back from being the best me I c… [...]

  2. [...] for a couple of days and in one day I’ll catch up on 4-5 new posts.  Well, this one was a guest post on Miz about not comparing your progress to anyone else’s.  Man that resonated with me. [...]