Save the DRAMA…

for another mama.

As I sat here watching the Tornado eat a donut nosh on some tofu & feeling entirely calm/peaceful I began to wonder.


(An no not about the F-word.)

I know many people would be doing with I am right now (and what I plan to do all weekend) and find it vaguely…unsatisfying.

Not just because I live life in the slow lane (there’s no way around acknowledging that one. It’s 8a and Ive worked out, played dress up, driven to the Donut Place Tofu Tower & am blogging from my phone), but because my right-handΒ  slow lane is devoid of any drama.

And I like it that way.

And I have dear friends and family members who prefer life on the D-List.

In the same way I adore my placid waters they LOVE their turbulent waves.

For them life feels incomplete if there arent any dramas or fires to be fanned.

My question for you (beyond the obvious of “hath I hosed myself by letting the child get a weetad sugared up at 8am?”) is one wholly devoid of judgment and completely filled with curiousity:

Are you a SAVE THE DRAMA FOR ANOTHER _____ as I am?

Or do you find the little spark it creates something you can use & harness for positive energy?



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  1. Mollie says

    I do not understand it because drama exhausts me.
    My sister loves it and needs it to feel “whole” I think.

  2. Valerie says

    I hate drama. I experienced my fair share in my younger years – never thinking it was avoidable, though I’m sure it was – and the older I get, the more I realize the toll it has taken on me. It makes me literally ill. I’ve spent the last five years or so culling from my life all the people who can’t seem to live without it…of course, new ones always crop up, but I’m getting better at either avoiding them or, if I can’t avoid them, doing my best to limit their influence as much as possible. Now if I could just eliminate drama from the lives of my daughters – but they take after me and are smack-dab in the middle of the drama-queen stage right now…

  3. says

    I have no patience for drama, unless it is a true emergency. When people start getting their panties in a wad, I sit back, get quiet, and just observe. And shake my head. I’ve had enough drama in my life, and now, I prefer the slow lane as you do. Being hyped up on drama, just like being hyped up on sugar, usually lead to a crash, maybe even a crash and burn. No thanks. I say save your drama for the llamas.

  4. says

    Manufactured drama makes me anxious -I actually want to punch a wall. Yet it feeds something in my “I have an addictive personality” side.

    It reminds me so much of “dry drunks”- the drama and tension that families dealing with post-addiction experience. I wonder how many of the drama queens online have addiction somewhere in the past.

    Now legitimate drama energizes me. When I act in a situation I am a rock. But created drama -especially online drama- I avoid at all costs.

    BTW how can you say you live in the slow lane when you’ve worked out, gotten out of the house and hit the tofu tower before 8 am??

  5. Faith says

    I will admit to really liking the drama when I was younger.
    I’d never thought about why. I think I felt my life was lacking and dramatic made it exciting.

    I do not like it now LOL

  6. says

    What’s my blog name again? Oh, right…

    I seem to create my own drama in that I have a knack for blowing mildly stressful situations way out of proportion. I have a penchant for exaggeration which can lead to drama in my own head.

    But drama outside of my own immediate life (and head) annoys the crap out of me. Major news stories, for instance, I avoid until things have calmed down a bit. The same goes for online drama. Why add fuel to the fire?

    I’m over emotional in my

  7. says

    What’s my blog name again? Oh, right…

    I seem to create my own drama in that I have a knack for blowing mildly stressful situations way out of proportion. I have a penchant for exaggeration which can lead to drama in my own head.

    But drama outside of my own immediate life (and head) annoys the crap out of me. Major news stories, for instance, I avoid until things have calmed down a bit. The same goes for online drama. Why add fuel to the fire?

    I’m over emotional in my Own life, but tend to be a little more level headed with the outside world.

  8. says

    Hate drama. The anxiety makes me crazy. The only drama I seek is the variety I can read about in a semi-trashy mag. We’ve had a rather crazy 8 years together and I keep (sincerely) telling my husband I’m ready for some dull years.

  9. says

    I wish people would realize we can have discussions, conversations and debates without the drama. If someome says somethinkg that frustrates u or pisses u off, if u throw worrds back at them, you’ve sunk to the same level. Our words are so powerful!

  10. says

    I tend to like things calm to a level some would refer to as boring. That said, I just had an endometrial ablation and the way I was wound up before that you couldn’t prove a drama-free preference on my part by anyone! Oh well, I was freaked. I’m giving myself a pass because I hadn’t been under general anesthesia in over 25 years. I’m fine now :)

  11. says

    Drama is emotionally, physically and mentally exhausting. I am such a positive person that I do not have the time for drama. I will remove myself from that situation. I have a boring life to most people probably, but it’s *my* life and I am quite happy.

    I would rather spend my energy on doing good things than trying to figure out how to solve other people’s problems.

  12. says

    I don’t like the drama and quickly un-follow those that jump on the mob mentality bandwagon to beat someone down using things like Twitter as a bully pulpit.

    How you used your post yesterday to acknowledge some drama in the blogosphere while simultaneously steering it in a positive fundraising direction (along with Anti-Jared of course) was brilliant. Kudos to you.

  13. says

    Hmmm… is “drama” now the word we use to define any emotionally charged situation? Is it “drama” when we attempt to stop misinformation or bullying on the web? When we’re involved in a political protest for our rights and the rights of others? When we’re busy busy busy trying to support our families? or stressed out by the weight of our obligations?

    I have to say, emotionally charged situations are part of our lives… important parts. And we need them just as much as we need the quiet times and the stillness.

    Most people would say that they live their lives with passion. I’d guess having life without passion would be appalling to most people… yet when you substitute the word “drama” for passion, you have an entirely different view (who says words don’t have power?)

    Life is a balance. Too much stillness (stagnation) is as bad as too much passion (drama). There’s a time for both, and both serve their purposes in our lives.

    • Valerie says

      You make a really excellent point, Kate…what’s our definition of drama? I think we have to know that to really answer the question meaningfully.

      For me, it’s more about people who choose to foster divisiveness and ill-will rather than unity and accord, when either is an equally likely option. It’s about people for whom every day holds a different crisis, all of them life-shattering. It’s about people who, when given the choice between giving someone the benefit of the doubt or getting as upset as possible, always choose the latter option. I love passion – I adore excitement and joy and energy. I define drama as a very different thing, with specifically negative energy, though.

      That’s my definition; I’d be interested to hear others, as I think it’s something very personal to each of us.

      • says

        “For me, it’s more about people who choose to foster divisiveness and ill-will rather than unity and accord, when either is an equally likely option.”

        I could not agree MORE with that statement. Well put, Valerie!

  14. says

    Drama has always exhausted me, but it’s only recently that I realized how much of what goes on is actually just drama. I live a very quiet, peaceful life right now and am carrying that over to my place of work too. I just refuse to get involved.

    Loved this post!

  15. says

    Girrrl, I hate drama. I will usually tiptoe out quietly before getting involved, and I wish I had done that yesterday – the only reason I commented was to get the donation up…but even having my name attached to any kind of messed-up drama makes me uncomfortable. I like my simple, boring (to some, not me!) life, thankyouverymuch.

    Have a WONDERFUL weekend! :)

  16. says

    I have had a saying for years: “Leave your drama at the door!” I actually use to make my teenagers walk back outside and re-enter the front door when they brought home the drama. Being honest, I hate drama. But it is what I grew up with. I like my peace filled days of quiet and solitude but sometimes to participate in the outside world, drama cannot be avoided.

    because drama comes from emotions.

    When we respond to them and not just feel them. Getting caught up in those emotions or the OPPOSITE of avoiding them by leaving the drama at the door has been one of my largest issues underlying my weight and emotional eating.

    Take that to the next level of teaching people how to treat us and/or coming from old “survival” techniques rather than the “zen” techniques we want so desperately, the mini dramas can play out within ourselves.

    Me…I am just trying to re-write my screenplay. I can have my voice AND learn to label the drama for what it is.

    To label the emotion, feel it, and NOT immediately respond to it. It’s a long, long process but so, so worth it.

  17. Izzy says

    I need to think about this Miz as I’m always whining about the drama with my friends.

    I wonder if I thrive on it in a way?!

  18. says

    I swear that every waking moment of my life is spent trying to eliminate drama.

    And ironically, sometimes that creates more drama.

    But I’ll keep fighting for no drama forever.

  19. Miz says

    id say it’s my million dollar idea πŸ˜‰ but I’m sure zazzle has us covered with the DRAMA & the red circle and slash thru it tee.

    And yeah.

    The sugarcrash is upon us.

  20. Hanna says

    I know for people in my lie who thrive on drama it seems to fill a void for them.

    It used to for me, too.

  21. says

    I avoid drama at all possible costs. My husband’s side of the family is ALL DRAMA ALL THE TIME but my side? not so much. I have learned to say “I don’t wanna talk about this” whenever drama-convos come up, but it took me a long time to keep from getting myself scooped up in it.

    I hate conflict and try to avoid it, but sometimes it just happens and all you can do it ride the tide until it rolls out again.

    • says

      Many years ago my sister made fun of my “I don’t want to talk about it” tactic (repeatedly), and now, in her 40s, has decided it was a pretty smart coping device. If you can’t change it and it makes you unhappy, think about something else. =) Good for you!

  22. says

    I have three high energy kids who all think they’re the firstborn. Drama occurs daily in my house. I hate it. It sucks my energy and raises my stress level. I go to yoga as often as I can to counteract the effects…

  23. says

    I had my fill of drama as a kid, (some heavy/scary) drama I didn’t generate, control, or enjoy, so am very happy to have a pleasant, fun, funny, loving, calm, sane-yet-still-has-adventure-and-surprises adulthood, thank you very much.

    Married a lovely, sane man, and I’d do it again in a heartbeat. =)

  24. Drazil says

    You know – this might sound dumb but I like or dislike drama based on what kind it is. Sometimes certain dramas can make us grow and learn and become open-minded – like say for instance – on political views or religious standpoints. But for the most part – I hate it. Love you though!

  25. says

    To each their own but I am not a fan of drama. Too exhausting & stressful & most of the time it does not feel positive to me. I think there are times when it can be OK if it is a positive drama BUT after working jobs that kept me going 60+++++++ hours a week & running all weekend to do errands & home stuff, well, I like the slower lane more….

  26. says

    I detest drama, yet find myself in major midst of it often compliments of there I have to deal with…this week has been major drama filled :(
    It’s exhausting, physically and mentally….

  27. says

    I can’t handle drama. I grew up with three brothers, enough said, eh? But I do need to learn how to have compassion, i’m working on it.
    Is tofu tower next to tempeh temple?

  28. says

    I joke I am probably the most boring 27yo single woman on the planet. Drama.. I don’t do it. No place in my life for it, and so not worth the stress it creates. I’d rather go to bed at 10pm on a Friday so I can get up and workout before yoga. Occasionally a “friend” might make me feel bad about that, but I’ve long moved past minding that :-)

  29. says

    I like the advice: “Pick your fights”. It has to be really important to me to get involved. Otherwise… gimme peace!
    I have to admit to even cutting out 90% of watching the news on tv, since it’s usually repetitive and negative. I figure if something important happens, I’ll bump into it on Facebook, LOL!

    My favorite part of today was when the sun peeked out for a bit, and my puppy and I went out into the back yard… she to run and chase leaves; me to just sit and soak up the sun and daydream about a painting that is in the planning stages. Totally peaceful and enjoyable. πŸ˜€

  30. Joy says

    Not a drama girl at all. I don’t have the time or energy for it! I live a very peaceful life!

    Keep focused!

  31. says

    I think for some their senses have become so over stimulated (tv, movies, the internet) that the only way they can feel is to create drama. Some may even see it as normal because they compare their life to what they see on TV and it can’t compete and creating drama generates attention and makes them feel important. (am I making sense at 5am?)

    I don’t like drama, I avoid drama, give me peace and solitude please!

        • Cheryl says

          Journaling is effective also and then you don’t have other people reading it. Had one for a long time and finally realized I like doing my thing quietly and anonymously. Don’t need feedback from a bunch of people I don’t know and will never meet.

  32. Hannah says

    I am not a drama mama, but I do like living a full and passionate life :) I like being busy and involved and for that, I think I am naturally subjected to some level of other people’s drama. I try to be the voice of reason and move on. I can’t stand re-hashing stuff again and again.

  33. says

    I loathe the drama but seem to have attracted a few drama-mama friends over the years. I’m slowly releasing the drama from my life because I find it drains me too much.

    I echo Hannah though – I love living a full and passionate life and that does sometimes lead to drama, whether I like it or not!

  34. Wendi says

    I love the surprise weekend posts. The drama? NO. I’ve outgrown that. So many people never do. It has to be tiring.

  35. says

    I am a very dramatic person and I like my life to be fast-paced and exciting. BUT. I don’t enjoy interpersonal drama at all. I like the drama I create for myself (rock climbing? aerial silks? cooking classes? YES PLEASE.) but i am deeply uncomfortable with being in the middle of drama created by other people. I do, however, make a distinction for drama created by outside events (i.e. cancer, car accident, pet dying etc.) and those that people create for themselves (gossiping). I’m happy to listen and be of service in the former but I try to avoid the latter. It can be hard to draw the line between the two sometimes and that’s where I get into trouble.

  36. says

    Drama is the reason I stay peacefully in Delaware while my family is in Jersey. Always some kinda family drama, but I’m just far enough way to not get caught up in it. I do NOT like drama. #no

  37. says

    I am a super curious person, so I am always looking to conquer new things and new people and I love it because it keeps my life super fresh.

    However, drama, hmm that’s a different thing. Most of the times I find myself not having the desire to be bothered with it. Recently my Mom accused me of not wanting to come out of my comfort zone because of my tendency to avoid drama. Whether its true or not Id rather do without drama.

  38. Miz says

    you know, I agree too. Chaos in the non-vernacular sense. Im too vernaculared up around here today :) great point.

  39. says

    I prefer a drama free zone, please. My family does not always go along with my wishes so I pretend like I don’t know them. Just kidding. Sort of.

    Winks & Smiles,

  40. says

    I only like drama when it’s for fun. Like sometimes I get a little drama going to make my husband feel just a wee bit bad for neglecting me while he’s in law school. πŸ˜‰