The ONE Thing You Must Have to Live the Life You Want (guest post).

Ive known Brett for years.  Ive stalked her successes enjoyed watching her succeed & reading her book.  BookS.  She’s got a new one out. Ive already gots a copy…

 

SO thrilled to be providing a guest post on Mizfit. Carla, as all of you know, is such an inspiration and I hold her in the highest of regards.

It has been such an honor to get to know her over the last few years, to have her in my circle, and most recently, to have her fabulous endorsement of my newest book – A Whole New You: Six Steps to Ignite Change for Your Best Life. And so, by way of association, that means I’m honored to have all of YOU reading this post.

 

Almost everyone I know wants to change something about themselves or their life, but so many of us struggle to actually do it. And so, I wrote A Whole New You to help inspire others to take the leap and create the life they want. Call it personal transformation, reinvention, or just plain old, change, I believe in it. I’ve morphed myself numerous times over the years, trying to become better in one area or another.

 

My passion for personal transformation started when I was 18. For as long as I can remember, I was the child picked last in gym class. As a result, anything sports- or exercise-oriented became synonymous with embarrassment. Unfortunately, this daily humiliation over a decade of time had a huge impact on my self-confidence and self-esteem. Not good.

 

When I got to college, however, I went through a series of events that made me realize I was tired of the way I was perceived in junior and senior high schools, and desperately wanted to change my image. I wanted to feel and look fit and strong. It was then that I started exercising regularly and eating well. In very little time, I felt empowered and confident, and I started to shed some of the hang-ups I hauled around for years.

My success relied on several factors, including my ability to let go of the negativity of the past, to make a commitment to something new, and to stick with it for the longer term. Yet, the most important factor to my success was simply that I wanted to change…that I was passionate about making my life different.

In A Whole New You, I discuss how change and transformation require some very basic principles, with the first and foremost being that you must WANT to make the change:

“Discontent + PASSION Drive Change”

It is a burning desire and a fire within that will carry you through the challenges that come with attempting change. Change is never easy, and if you don’t wholeheartedly want it, it just isn’t going to happen.

Now that the New Year has begun, many of us have resolved to change something. If you are one of these people, I want you to ask yourself one very simple question:

“How much do I want to make this change?”

Maybe you have considered losing weight. Maybe you’ve considered a job change. Or, maybe you feel it is time to quit smoking. Whatever it is, do you really want it? Can you feel a burning desire for it? If so, you are setting yourself up for success. If not, it might be time to reevaluate your decision.

Changing for other people, or because we feel we have to or should is never a successful way to begin any transformation.

Think about what YOU want.

Think about what is going to make YOU happy.

Shut out external voices telling you all of the “shoulds” and “have tos,” or worse, the “can’ts” and “don’ts.”

Only you know what is best for you and only you know what you are capable of.

Believe in yourself and be who YOU want to be and transform to build the life YOU want.

What are you waiting for?

 

If you have any questions, feel free to reach out at any time…you can find me on my own site at SheerBalance.com, on Facebook and via Twitter/brettblumenthal. I hope to connect with you!

 

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Comments

  1. Miz says

    Learning and harnessing that concept CHANGED MY LIFE entirely too (and yes I know I beat it to death as the husband can attest).
    For me it manifests itself in doing LESS THAN I CAN DO FULL THROTTLE each day—so I *want* to get up the next and re-approach and re-attack my goals!

  2. says

    Totally agree that change has to be for ourselves not someone else.
    Your comment that we are the only ones who know what we are capable hit me in the face – sometimes I don’t think I push myself hard enough in some areas. Something to really think about!!!

  3. MizFit says

    viewing this through the lens of FITNESS it means I do less than I can every day. I know it sounds crazy :-) but Im not training to compete–I want to stick to my routine for life.

    I COULD DO 40 minutes (and hour?!) of cardio a day, for example, but I choose to do 30.

    That way Im kindaalmost excited to get up the next day and do cardio–not broken and tired and OVER IT!!! and tempted to skip that day and the next and the next…

    Brett?

    • says

      Well said. In short, I’d say, don’t bite off more than you can chew and go at the pace that is right for you. Doing anything else sets us up for failure because we expect too much of ourselves too quickly. Be forgiving, yet determined. That is key!

  4. says

    including my ability to let go of the negativity of the past, to make a commitment to something new, and to stick with it for the longer term.

    Always love reading these posts because so many of us struggle with this.. I have had many tries thru my life & not always getting where I need to be & the past past, the feeling of the past & how they made me feel often get in the way.. how it feels to always get a no or not get where you hoped that try would get you. It is not that I have stopped trying, it is just that lingering feeling of not getting there when you tried before… I guess it is a life long process.. always learning…

    • says

      Jody, rejection and failure are a HUGE reason people give up. But think about ALL of the success stories that had to deal with those two big evil things. Did you know people like Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, and many many more had to work really hard to get where they got? It wasn’t an easy road, and the road was filled with perceived failures and rejections. Yet, they used those lessons to their advantage. They learned from them. They fine-tuned things…and eventually they became major major successes! Go get ‘em!

    • says

      Very True!!! In the book, I discuss how the process of transformation is personal and can touch on MANY aspects of our lives. The book is actually generic in that way…it talks about the process of transformation and not the changes themselves :)

  5. says

    I agree completely that you have to set yourself up for success. I’ve had the ‘discontent and passion’ I need to get in shape for over a year now, but then I broke my foot just as I was starting to see results. After being unable to get back on the bandwagon on my own, I made two changes that have helped me make awesome progress:

    1. I gave myself a goal: I want to hike to Machu Picchu in Peru, but there’s no way I could do it at my current fitness level. So in a couple years, I will do it. Travel is my passion.

    2. I gave myself accountability: I hate working out because I’m overweight and it’s tough to get (and keep) that much body mass moving. Since I know I need someone to hold me accountable to myself and teach me how to use the gym equipment, I finally signed up for the personal training at my gym. Pricey, true, but the only thing I hate more than soreness after working out is wasting money. Plus, I’ve been through this once before and I know that the soreness goes away with the weight, and then it becomes fun!

    • says

      Jen-
      Setting up a “reward structure” for your accomplishments is a great way to motivate yourself. And as far as the personal training thing goes, it might be what you need today, but know that when you start feeling confident about exercise and more in shape, you might not need to rely on an external source to motivate you. Good luck!

      • says

        I agree I won’t need the external source eventually… I’ve been there before (ie fit and able to motivate myself).

        But I recognized that my weakness is that I wasn’t able to get myself through the initial stages of getting back into shape. So after this training contract ends, I’m sure I’ll be able to keep myself going.

        Great post :)

  6. says

    as soon as you recognize that feeling of “being tired” of something, frustration, want… you should begin then to make changes, even if that is just in the planning to.

    in a perfect world, right? we all sit (stew?) in the “planning to” for a while, get comfortable there, make friends with the excuses?

    change IS empowering, especially if you are doing it just. for. you.

    thanks for this today – energizing way to begin the day!

  7. Yvonne says

    Great post, Miz and Brett.
    I’ve finally learned from you, Carla, how to do a little each day to nail my goals.

  8. says

    Great article! I can definitely tell you that I’m not waiting for anything, it’s a phenomenal way to think.

    I like your way of thinking how ‘If you don’t want something, you won’t do what it takes to get it’ (or along those lines). A true, burning desire and the necessary action to accomplish it is truly an awesome force.

    It’s that kind of mindset that pushes boundaries of your own previous boundary. And I tell you, once you get started, it gets addictive to carry on.

    Thank you, Brett! (And thank you Carla for letting her guest post!)

  9. says

    You are the fourth or fifth person today that i have run across touching on this theme of change, and how you have to want it, have to have had your “i’ve had enough” moment to drive you to it.

    G-d is trying to tell me something.

  10. Beth says

    I love this post, too.
    I know what I’ve learned from you, Miz, is I need to want to change and recommit to my changes every morning.

    It’s the recommitting facet I missed before.

    Nice to meet you, Brett!

  11. says

    Love this post.

    I’m starting this year with the end in mind. I know that I have to make good choices and changes daily if I want to move forward.

    • says

      The end in mind is a GREAT way to think. I actually talk about Steven Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People in A Whole New You and how “thinking with the end in mind” is a huge plus when it comes to goal setting, and living a life of purpose and meaning. Great to see you thinking this way!

  12. says

    You’re spot on with “you have to really want it.” And it was only when I got honest with myself (back in 2004-ish) that I realized that I must not really want weight loss, or else I would have done it, right? And so my quest (the thing I really wanted) was to understand why. Answering that question for myself, digging really deep, is what finally helped me understand a whole lot about myself.

  13. says

    Karen, bravo! That is STEP 2 in the book. Self discovery is SO important in making any kind of transformation. We often roadblock or sabotage ourselves due to our past, our fears, our upbringing, you name it. Hope that you had a AHA moment that lit your fire :)

  14. cherylann says

    whose life would i live but my own? i don’t have anything i would change about it-got rid of the people in my life who didn’t “get” my goals and dreams and have gone after what i want and need. not scary at all. necessary.

  15. cherylann says

    oh and i train to compete-because I love the training and I love the competition and I love winning and doing well. it also carries over to my workplace. I am never tired at work like most and i am one of the oldest there (60 this year). People comment on my energy. Hike three hours of mtns? Ride my mnt bike for the same amount of time? Swim two miles? Run a marathon? Do an Ironman? Cross the Grand Canyon? Get a second Master’s degree? Paint every room in my house and landscape the outside? No problem! It’s called life. you only go around once. make it count.

  16. says

    You know.. everyone has a slightly different secret sauce. Passion is extremely important and it ignites the fire. With that said, a fire doesn’t burn eternally. One must repeatedly add firewood to keep it going. That I realised, was MY secret sauce.

    Consistency.

    In my mind, I rate it above everything. With consistency you can achieve a hell of a lot. You can even learn to love something if you’re passionate enough.

    I can tell you that the vast majority of overweight folks who step into a gym do not relish the hellish 45 minutes that follow. But with consistency, they learn to love the process.

    If there’s one thing I will be doing this year, it’s being more consistent. Doing those small things that I always forget to do because they are just as easy to do as they are not to.

    Consistency. That’s my buzzword for 2013.

    Stay consistent

    Dennis

  17. says

    A nice post. I can equate to a lot of this. I used to be very unhappy about my size and shape until I made a decision to change. I was motivated and single-minded and failure was not an option. Taking that first step changed my whole life and I even changed my job to become a personal trainer so I can hopefully help others to achieve what I did. The first step is often the hardest and I believe you have to be mentally ready to embrace change.

  18. says

    I feel like sometimes people feel that passion here and there which makes them believe they truly want to change, but it has to be a constant thought and desire. I used to feel like I was doing all I could to change and would get frustrated when I wasn’t seeing any differences, but then I realized that I wasn’t truly motivated or doing all that I could. When I finally ignited the fire of the passion behind why I wanted to change, I seriously committed to doing things differently and began to see myself differently which was great motivation to keep going.

  19. says

    I’ve come to the conclusion that what often prevents me from changing is my belief that for some reason it’s not possible for me to change. And it can take a loooong time to start questioning that belief.

    • says

      Satu, our belief in ourselves is paramount. Why do you think you can’t change? I truly believe that people can do almost anything they put their mind to. It is amazing how much we are capable of if we are willing to work at it.

      That said, I would definitely start questioning your belief. If you don’t start, you’ll never get past it. Is fear at the heart of it? Is it past failure? Remember that failure is a necessary part of success. Fear is just our focus on the worst case scenario. These are important questions. Good luck ;)

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