We *are* all SUPERWOMEN.

by

 

even capes need to be laundered...

even capes must be laundered…

I love the blog Mommy Run Fast.

Laura is talented, smart and consistently posts thought provoking content.

A few weeks ago I read her musings on the pressure we women put on ourselves/each other to be SUPERWOMEN.

I wholly agreed with her assertion we simply CAN NOT BE all things to all people.

We can not have it all.

Laura shared:

Shouldn’t we focus on the stuff that matters? Reading stories to your kids.  Hugs.  Relationships.  Encouraging words.  Listening to a friend.

In a roundabout way her post brought me back to a recent comment (snark? tomato tomahhhhto) regarding the fact I’m “living the dream.”

I am indeed living the dream—because Ive chosen to rewrite how my dream looks (up at 345a, meditate, workwork, cardio, walk child to school, walksuperquickly home, work work work, pick up child, play with child, homework with child, play with child, bed for child, work).

It’s the same for me with regards to the “pressure” on women to be SUPERwomen.

Not surprisingly I frequently shout remark (to Ren Man’s chagrin) I AM A SUPERWOMAN!

I believe it’s time we take BACK the word, stop turning on each other in times of life-frazzle (turn to! turn to!) and redefine the notion of SUPERWOMAN.

For me being a SUPERWOMAN is focusing on the “stuff that matters” & living our priorities.

Because Im a misfit, I recently decided to spend a day gallivanting around my new ‘hood *literally* sporting my typically *figurative* cape.

 

take note of mess around me

yep, the towels are *never* folded

 

messy AND scraggly haired! Im superwoman!!

messy house + scraggly hair = Superwoman!

 

sometimes my little superhero be ornery

many days my little superhero be ornery.

 

Im blurry because Im still moving!!

Im blurry because Im FLYING!!

 

Yep. It was under there all day.

The cape was under there all day.

 

yep.

I flew thru the gym for some self-care.

You get the idea.

I may need secret capes some days...

I may require extra capes some days…

 

waiting for me each morning

but no matter what I rise each morning & fly again.

Im superwoman enough for US & thats what matters.

Im superwoman enough for US & thats what matters.

 

Sure this post is lighthearted and silly—but for me the underlying message is not.

  • Im kind to me (perhaps too kind at times?).
  • Whenever possible I approach life with humor (I know this helps with the kindness, too).
  • I acknowledge when Im doing all I currently can—and by virtue of that I AM DOING ENOUGH  (and a Superwoman).
  • I never judge myself by how I look or what others are able to do (I know many amazing women who CAN and DO do more than I without breaking a sweat. Im happy for them. It does not lessen who I am).

I recall saying to my husband when we were newly in Oakland, still in boxes, and life was topsy-turvy:

DAMN, I seriously am SUPERWOMAN.

The Tornado & I’d already made some new friends, we’d driven to & fro the store without getting lost, Id seen in person, grabbed & HUGGED a blogger Id adored for years, our beds were unpacked, made & ready to be slept in.

Given the OVERALL state of our affairs he was a surprised by the PRIDEFULLNESS strength of my assertion yet, given the definition above, I was a Superwoman.

I am a Superwoman.

Now you.

  • Join me in taking back & redefining the notion of being a SUPERWOMAN?
  • Accompany me on my quest to move the term AWAY from being a badge of multitasking honor to one of simply living the dream we’ve defined?
  • Wanna borrow my cape for the day as you transition to your constant figurative one?

 

 

 

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Comments

    • Miz, I LOVE THIS POST and Betsy, love your wordless wednesday pics!

      I seriously need the superwoman cape and outfit and the redefinition and attitude adjustment that I hope come with it.

      I was just lamenting (and begging my readers for help about) the problem of having more Stuff to Do than time to do it in. Yet I don’t think “picking up the pace” is the answer. Because the faster we run the more things we realize there are to chase after.

      As I await reader brilliance, I gotta try the cape. Genius!

      • Oh, and sorry for comment line-cutting, I’m just always so late to the party I wanted to pretend I got here earlier for once! Won’t make a habit of it though, promise. 🙂

  2. Great post!! I think we all struggle to be the so called “superwoman” and sometimes disappoint ourselves that we are not. I am one person, I cannot do everything, but I do everything I possibly can every single day. Does this make me superwoman?? I hope so. I like your definitions and feel that we do need to redefine what superwoman means!!!!

  4. Miz, your pictures are messed up when I read on my phone. They look ok on my laptop.
    Sorry to ruin your morning, but something’s wrong :/

  9. I really agree with you.
    Superwoman and FEMINIST.
    We women need to take both these words back and make them ours again.

  11. Let’s redefine it as superheart woman. Your heart is the focus and sharing it makes it super! Yes! Loved laura’s post and i like to think that a messy home means a playful home. Carefree!

  12. THIS. I have told Chris just to call me Superwoman several times haha. I totally agree with everything you said.

    I have no problem being proud of my accomplishments and working hard. I define MY happy and that works for me 🙂

    PS – “it’s blurry because I’m flying” <–I DIE.

  13. Love the idea of claiming the superwoman back from the multi-tasking woman.

    Busy doesn’t equal super. It equals spinning around so fast you’ll miss life….and likely get twisted up in your own cape! 🙂

    • WELL YES. not forever I hope but this move has been a CHALLENGE for me.
      The school days are TWO HOURS SHORTER HERE and early release every wednesday.
      Hence why I LAUGHED OUT LOUD at my troll, errrr, the comment about living the dream…

  16. You define it perfectly. Quality is where it’s at (and I hate the dangling) but I love the term. Thanks to you and Laura for writing bright, thought-provoking posts on this topic!

  17. I agree.
    I also think too often it is we women who are making each other crazy–not men media or society.

  18. Thanks so much for the sweet shout out. I LOVE your twist on Superwoman… how freeing to embrace the title as what we are already doing. I was nodding the whole way through this. And I am so inspired by how well you push back against the cultural norms. What a gift for your daughter!

  19. I completely agree. And totally wonder what the world would look like if we WOMEN all let up on each other and focused on the fact there is ROOM ENOUGH FOR US ALL TO SUCCEED.

    • You’ve got it exactly right!! What if women everywhere realized that we all have to live our own lives and support each other rather than tear them apart. My saying is” as long as you are happy that’s all that matters” we need to set an
      example for our daughters!!!

  20. Thank you for the reminder that we are all superwomen!
    I’ve been at loose ends for awhile – trying to figure out what I want to do “when I grow up” and many days I don’t feel so “super.” I need to make sure that I take time every day to rediscover my superwomen powers and celebrate them!!

  21. Simply put, you are pretty freakin’ awesome. This post is perfect. At times, being “superwoman” feels overwhelming, but at the end of the day when everything has been done, it is empowering beyond belief! And humor is my go to as well. If you can’t laugh, you can’t live!

  22. LOVE your cape!! Yet again you have hit the nail on the head! I was just talking with my sister last night as she struggles through some things. I said to her, “The dream may have started as white picket fences and June Cleaver but it looks different now. Now is the time to make your dream for your future…It isn’t what you tore out of a magazine when you were 10 but it is your life and you can make it better than that magazine!!” I’m passing this on to her!!

  23. I think besides putting too much pressure on ourselves, we as women make so many things a competition as to who can be the BEST. Can’t we all be awesome Superwomen while doing the best we can?

  24. I agree with you that were all very hard at ourselves try way to do way too much at one time. Maybe we can start A rotation and send it around so that each one of us can literally be a superhero! Is that I can just use my pillowcase it works just as fine 😉

  25. Hell yes! there are days (like yesterday) when I felt like I was on top of everything. One step ahead, totally on my game and even had time to change the sheets. I’m totally Superwoman.
    There are other days when nothing seems to get done, despite my best efforts. Hubs comes home from work wondering what I did all day (although he’d never say the words; he values his life). I just roll with it. Sometimes even Superwoman has an off day (or two). After all, I’d never tell a friend that she was a sub-par woman because I spy dog hair on her kitchen floor. 😉

  26. It seems to be getting worse not better, too. The continual praising for multitasking and exhausting ourselves.

  27. Really a thought provoking post!!! I think we are all Superwomen in our own way whether we are doing a lot in the day or not. I always think I should be doing more. I see & read how much others do in a day YET I know there were days when I was younger that I did that & more & just do not want to do that again. I was frazzled & unhappy & never could enjoy life.

    It never ceases to amaze me that people have to be dong a million things at once to be honored in the news.. why is that? I think for some, it is great & they like it but for others, they feel they have to do it.. it is expected.

    I love your take on this… Personally, to know that you don’t have to be everything to everyone is a Superwomen – one that helps herself while helping others…

  30. I LOVE this, I totally try to be Superwoman and I realize that I can’t do it all, but I can just do my very best. Your top is awesome and I love the shot of you and your daughter in your matching Superwoman tops!

  31. It’s simple: I want to be the superwoman you are today but I am the superwoman you used to be.

    It’s funny that I’ve been thinking a lot the past couple of days about the pressure I am putting on myself to be perfect. This posts helps me to see things in perspective.
    Thanks Miz!

  32. I love this post — but I also love your HOUSE! It looks gorgeous, and I am very jealous of your little kitchen desk nook.

  33. I loved Laura’s post and it really made me thing and love your response. I’m with you for redefining what it means to be superwoman – quality time, quality relationships, doing the things that matter with the people that matter. I’ve also been taking your mono-tasking to heart in the past week or so. It’s been a struggle to work against my ADD/multitasking tendencies but I so appreciate being able to focus on one thing at a time. PS can I borrow your cape?

  34. Life is soooo not a competition. I remind myself of this daily. In particular, when I’m feeling stressed (and my children have noticed and asked me if I’m stressed) about the messy house, unwashed laundry and forgotten-to-be-sewn-on Cubs badges…

    One thing I find helpful to put things in perspective is to ask myself what I want written on my headstone (morbid, I know); “She had a clean house and never forgot an appointment OR she loved her family, took time to play with her children and helped others feel good about themselves”

    I know which one I choose! (Guess that makes me a Superwoman too!)

    • What struck me with the OOOH I GET IT are the number of people/friends/places Ive read grown women lamenting the fact their moms were too worried about the perfect house, meal etc when all they wanted was a SUPERMOM who plopped on the floor and PLAYED WITH THEM…

  36. I really like this concept. Women really do amazing things and yet it never seems to be enough. I like this idea of just accepting what we can do and that being enough. There’s a really interesting TED Talk about women leaning in. You should check it out!

  38. Love the superwoman gear! I definitely share the need of prioritization – I would occupy every moment of every day with *stuff* if I could, until I became a giant ball of crispy burnout and imploded. Not a great way to be.

    Zliten and I had a talk about something slightly related last night. We commented that we used to be dreamers. How cool it would be when “blah” happened. Wouldn’t it be cool if we could do “blah”.

    Now we’re doers. We wanted to be triathletes, bam, we made it happen. We wanted to learn how to scuba, bam, we’re now certified. I wanted to be an expert seamstress… well, that’s a work in progress but at least I’m starting my journey.

    I feel like Superwoman when I can dream something and then do it.

  39. This is something I have thought about off and on for years as women have emerged in the work force (yes I am that old) and it seems to me that just because we CAN have it all, doesn’t mean we SHOULD or should even WANT to… we have taken on so much work and more responsibility and sometimes we just run ourselves ragged with it all.

    Let’s redefine SUPERWOMAN for our selves in our own contexts.

  41. Sometimes I think we (I) forget how super we really are. This is why I am making a point to remind myself as to how SUPER I really am and can be. I am the only person who can bring the super out of me and it’s my responsibility to find the superhero that is right in front me.

    It’s easy to forget our inner super and it’s easy for this notion to get lost in the wind when we be flying all day long!

    Thanks for this post!

    xo

  43. You struck a deep chord within me when you said you are Superwoman enough for your family and that is what matters.
    For today I will try and remember that here.

  45. I’m kind to me.
    I acknowledge when I’m doing all I currently can.
    I never judge myself by how I look or what others are able to do.

    I am so bad at these three. (I have a kick ass sense of humor, so I win at that one – or at least I think I’m winning. Sometimes apparently SOME PEOPLE think I could be a bit more serious.)

    I really need to work on being kinder to myself, finding my limits, and not comparing myself to others (I do that soooo much).

    Also, I kind of want a cape. The Bean has one, and I need one, too.

    • I love my cape on those days when I could easily slip sliiiiide into feeling not enough.
      usually I far too kind to me.
      too benevolent.
      Im eons from TYPE A—but ok that way.

  47. WONDERFUL post. I can’t ever seem to keep up and feel horribly about my non-Superwoman status.

  48. I love this post. I definitely try to be superwoman ALL THE TIME. I know that I need to dial it back a bit and prioritize. I think my problem is that because I am home all day I feel like I have to be able to do it all.

  49. Love this!! Yes it’s the small things that count. It can be hard to remember in a world that constantly screams “you’re not enough”. But I remind myself that homeschooling my boys, taking care of my husband, taking care of my body, and most importantly being a child of God makes me a superwoman even if my hair is a mess, my house (rv) is dirty, and my clothes are wrinkled!

  52. Truelly amazing, You are amazing, I thought I was superwomen, never thought of wearing the cape though, although you can be so busy being super women, that the quality time with your family that matters, never happens, we need to tak etime out and remind ourselves of this.

    Thanks

    Regards

    Joan

  54. I wanted to comment-cut like Crabby (new term and I LOVE IT!), but I restrained myself…for today, anyway.

    Thank goodness I don’t have to even pretend to be Superwoman anymore…that sh*t was exhausting. Give me the sedate life of a parent of grown children any day…

  55. There is so much pressure to do it all. I have found that I am far more happier when I let go of dishes, and a clean house – I’d much rather have happier children than a super clean house. That stuff can wait! Love the outfits!

  56. Men and women face these pressures more now than ever in history. Being a “super” mum/dad/man/woman is almost a pre-requisite these days! It’s tough, but with this kind of motivation it becomes easier. Thanks for the post!

  58. While I don’t have a cape, I do have a notebook and this year, I’m recording evidence of my superwomanness to remind myself of the things I’ve accomplished. Like most people who try new things, I fail fairly often. With my handy notebook reminder of my successes, my fails move off into “oh well, I tried” land where they belong.

  60. The pics are awesome and definitely convey your message. Great post with great sentiment. If others can follow your lead they would likely lead less stressful lives.

  64. LMFAO! WHERE WHERE WHERE DID YOU GET THAT! I want one of those! I would seriously wear it ALL the time – I am doing stand up (my first show, this Sunday) and holy hell that would be the PERFECT costume for me to wear!!! You’re amazing! lol

  65. There are a few blogs that I read almost every day, often first thing in the morning while drinking my coffee. I will often follow links I see in the comments on those blogs if they look interesting to me.

    I work at a computer all day, so sometimes if I’m feeling in need of a break but can’t walk away from my desk, I will take a few minutes to visit a blog I didn’t read in the morning.

    I don’t always comment – depends on if I feel I have something to say and how much time I have.

  71. Haha, I’ve never been a multi tasker. I know it, and I’m not ashamed of it. I look at how hard some women try to do and be everything and it has little appeal to me. I like who I am, and am content to just be who I am. My family seems to like me this way too so I’m not too concerned with trying to “do it all and be it all”. 🙂

  72. I can multitask like a pro with enough preplanning, but after grad school I physically cringe at the thought of it. My new goal this year (resolution I suppose) has been to enjoy the process and be more present in what I do, even when I am busy. It’s tough sometimes, since it seems like I’m still as busy now as I ever was… but I don’t want to miss out on this great old life 🙂

  74. Carla, this is the kind of post I want to see from you.
    I am clicking over from your facebook dialogue and think this is your stride hit.

  75. Love this post. I hate reading articles about how (ONLY) high-flying executives, with 10 children and husbands and large homes and pets (etc) can be superwomen.

    I sometimes struggle to get through my day and I am single, childless and currently not working. But.. I still bloody deserve some credit.

    We are all superwomen, just for making it through… day after day!

    Deb

  76. Everyone tries to live their priorities- and their “dream”-but really it’s WAY easier when someone else is there paying the bills.

    I think your life would be real different if you had to drop your kid off and head to an eight hour stint somewhere if suddenly you found yourself hubby-less.

    Dream life- in my book, yup somewhat. But I am damn proud of sticking to my career for almost 40 years and raising a beautiful and smart (and very FIT) daughter who just got accepted for a MA in a prestigious art school-so those “non-dream” years for me, turned into reality for her. And that’s all that matters.
    But I still completed over 100 tris with a little help from my gal friends.

  77. Loved that post by Laura! And love that you and the tornado are dressed as super heroes!!!!! Hilarious and wonderful!

  78. Love you Mz Fit superwomen, goddess of all things funny, good and joyful. People that throw tomatos throw them because they don’t ever think that they can achieve a level of contentment that you have, they can’t possibly imagine a life of clarity and acceptance that you have done so gracefully and successfully.

  79. I LOVED Laura’s post – totally hit home for me. I find myself trying to do it all…and in reality, I know I can’t. I’m trying to learn to step back and only focus on what’s important – and not the periphery stuff that doesn’t mean ANYTHING.
    Beautiful post – xo

  83. Thanks, I loved this post. Yes, I agree wholeheartedly – we are all Superwomen. A woman is the heart of her home,and is everything to everyone in her family.We all have to do the very best we can, and I believe we can too with God’s help.

  84. Love this post and love the cape! Being Superwoman doesn’t mean you are perfect. I try my best to only focus on the things that truly matter and be myself. This post was the perfect read for me on this Monday.

  85. LOVE THIS:
    ?I never judge myself by how I look or what others are able to do (I know many amazing women who CAN and DO do more than I without breaking a sweat. Im happy for them. It does not lessen who I am).

    It’s taken me years and years of growing and learning and letting go to get to this point. A big reason I’ve relaxed about being in my 40s (b/c at age 39 I was freaking out about it) is that I can accept who I am now. I was never “enough” in my 30s. I still have moments where I struggle, but they are few.

    Thanks for the affirmation that we are all superwomen! Love the cape.

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