I got bored.

by

 

no time for boredom!

no time for boredom!

I was never, ever bored as a child—or so I told my parents.

You see, we were raised on the belief only boring people get bored.

Anytime I’d grow close to lamenting boredom to one parent or the other Id quickly remembered this fact.

I imagined what their cure to my boredom might be.

I feared what project or chore they’d offer to lessen my current state of restlessness.

Invariably something–ANYTHING–I’d create for myself would have a larger element of fun and a smaller level of work or educational value.

The majority of the time this realization was enough to stem any tide IM BOOOOORED whining, prompt me to turn inward, take matters into my little misfit hands and get creative.

Somehow I’d forgotten this this childhood lesson when I headed off to NYC with the Tornado a few weeks ago.

I had meetings.

We had fun outings and meet-ups arranged.

I had a secret (from her) plan to allow myself to grow wholly, completely and utterly bored.

Bored bored bored in the city that never sleeps.

(A lofty goal, I realize, with a constant-motion seven year old in tow.)

I’d spent the past seven years being focused, present and mired in my childhood state of resisting boredom at all costs.

what? me bored?!

what? me bored?!

It had been decades (four?!) since I’d experienced pure, unadulterated boredom and the “dullness” I made time to experience in NYC rocked

Here’s why.

  • I was prepared to be bored. I was excited to be bored.  I longed, at the first sign of slow-down-in-activities-what’s-next?, to sit and embrace the sensation. I paid attention to how my body felt in those moments. I noticed what my thoughts & immediate instincts were.  I listened to what my body said (dont slow! go go go!) and ignored the temptation of action and movement.  I was eager & ready.

 

  • I seized the boredom to reflect and think.  I make time each morning for silence and meditation.   During those morning minutes I work hard to empty my mind.  As a result,  it’s occurred to me lately how little time I spent on reflection. During these times of boredom I took the opportunity to look back.  Way back. Before the tornado back.  I spent time thinking about where Ive been, where I am, and where I want to go.

 

  • Boredom sparked creativity.   Ahhh childhood lesson Id forgotten.  At one point my boredom manifested itself in the fact I couldn’t find anything to read. As I clicked through Amazon unable to find a book I grew bored.  Soon I began to think about what I wished were available for me to read.  Starting down this path of thinking drew me away from purchasing & toward plotting a new manuscript.  A plot so convoluted I may never write it—but allowing myself to be bored offered the freedom my mind needed to be crazy creative.

 

  • Boredom relaxed me. Boredom made me tired.  I think allowing myself boredom actually resulted in better sleep. Boredom gave my mind the gift of wandering and the result, surprisingly, was a more relaxed body as well.

As you might imagine, my experience embracing amazing, decadent boredom resulted in more than a few Im boooorrrrrrred lamentations from the Tornado.

To my surprise she and I easily solved this problem—for the trip and at home—by starting a boredom jar.  In the same vein as our fitness jar, we brainstormed ideas for fun projects when the dreaded boredom strikes.  Everything from making a zoo with her stuffed animals to creating a family newspaper.

I, however, learned a great deal from slowing down and making time for boredom in my life.

I returned from NYC more in touch with my inner-self, more creative than Id felt in ages & refreshed.

I also returned from NYC committed to slowing down (even more) & ready for a life where busyness does NOT provide me an excuse to gogogo and avoid”dullness” whenever possible.

Now you.

  • Do you avoid the feeling of boredom at all costs?
  • Are you, too, the product of the notion ‘only boring people get bored?’
  • Wanna hire the Tornado to create a BOREDOM JAR for your children?

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Comments

  1. I love that you let yourself get bored. Our lives are just too structured and a break from this is well needed. Another good lesson in living a balanced life.

  2. I actually felt bored for the first time in …. years, just a few weeks ago on Spring Break. Most of my plans fell threw, I was slightly injured so couldn’t work out as much, and the second I complained to my Mom on the phone about being bored I realized there was SO much I could do (read, work on art projects,…) I was just being lazy.
    So, I guess I still haven’t been ‘bored’ since I was a kid!

  3. Boredom is a rarity for me but when it hits, I embrace it. It means there is nothing pressing. Good time to recharge.

  4. us Cotters love to be bored. We’re nerdy and dorky like that. but i promise it recharges us. We sit and drink coffee and talk or not talk. Just be there, bored. But i love it. And i need! but i also might hire tornado! hehe

  7. I think it is so important to have times when you are doing nothing, but it is so rare these days. I must admit to turning to my iPhone when I should just turn it off, but I hate it even more when I see kids who are constantly plugged in. Not only do they develop a need to be constantly entertained, but they don’t develop a practice of observing their surroundings, making up stories and games, or figuring out new ways to drive their parents crazy!

    • Agree.
      I like the notion of the jar becuase it will empower my boys to be creative.

  8. I’m a mess and like to be busy all of the time! If I get bored sometimes I think I need it – I’m too run down and need to chill out a second – and then I remember something else I needed to do – squirrel!

  12. I think boredom makes me nervous for exactly the reasons you detailed above, Carla.
    I don’t want the introspection.

  13. Growing up I remember thinking I was bored but really it was a true lack of creativity!!
    Now, I’m at a point in my life where I love times that are unstructured – whether it is all 4 of us (family), just me, just Chris and I – whatever. I know that soon my boys will be gone and for now just being with them (even doing nothing) makes me happy!

  14. I live in perpetual fear of boredom! Perhaps I should give it a try… My fear is that once I finally relax, all the pieces I have been juggling will fall to the ground and then later I will have to get them all back in the air somehow!

  15. LOL
    My parents said the same thing to us and now I find I say it to my twins, too.

  16. Life continues at such a rapid clip sometimes that I need reminders to SLOW down…THIS was one of those reminders! Time is flying by and I need to take time to check in with me…to not risk losing who I am and how I can be a better mom!

  18. I love that you turn your boredom into an opportunity to be creative! And the boredom jar is awesome! I’m gonna have to try that with my boys because I get the I’m Bored whines a lot from them!

  20. What a fascinating thought about the meditation.
    I have monkey mind and tend to be self-congratulatory for meditating at all.

  21. Loved this post. Since having Emmalyne I have tried to slow things down and embrace those “boring” moments because I know they are fleeting with her. Love the idea of a boredom jar too!

  22. Very interesting – I guess I never really thought much about it. I don’t like to get bored at all. I find something to busy myself with. I kind of feel lazy if I let myself get bored. But maybe it’s not such a bad thing after all.

  23. I think that I need to make time to actually be bored! I am always busy with something that I haven’t slowed down enough to feel that boredom that I felt as a child.

  24. I’m still a bit torn about discussing NYC and boredom in the same post. 🙂 When I visited, I just walked around the city and was easily “entertained” the whole time.

    Anyway, I have noticed how impatient I usually am and how my experience changes when I slow down myself.

  26. I love reading your words. You are full of inspiration for me. I love those quiet moments when I’m “prepared” for the boredom. Like waiting for an appointment. My mind takes a break and I find my creativity is sparked and I make lists with excitement in those quiet moments. You make me want to try and “MAKE” those quiet moments more often.

    Thanks as always for being so unadulterately you.

  27. Honest – after the craziness of 60++++ work weeks in Corporate America, I LOVE boredom & doing nothing & NO, it does not make a boring person. It allows a person to think & reflect & imagine & become something other than a peg in a hole! 🙂 LOVE THIS!

    Helping stepdaughter today! 🙂

  28. Love that PLAY is on your to-do list 3 times hahaha!! LOVE!!

    To be honest I am almost never bored. There are a million things I want to be doing at any given time – running, reading, cross-sitching (werid I know), cooking, writing…I wish I had more hours in the day almost ALWAYS!

  29. Life with kids leaves such little time to be bored. Better sleep is interesting, but it makes sense… if I have no time to slow down all day, my mind is racing at bedtime trying to reflect on all the things it wanted to reflect on, that I never allowed it to!

  31. I can so relate to this. When I had a corporate job and had a few periods of burnout I’d take two vacation days. The first one was purely so that I could feel a sense of boredom. The second was to enjoy a relaxed day off. Once I had that experienced those two feelings in combination I could recharge for the next round of craziness!

  32. Oh, this is so good! I am really, really bad at sitting still and letting go for very long at all. I have to be pretty tired to give in…but maybe I wouldn’t get tired if I gave in more often!

  33. Being bored is a total blessing to me, that means I’ve done everything I need to do, everyone is happy and I can actually attempt to do something i’ve been putting off or just sit in the quiet. I look forward to bored.

  35. My mom said the same thing to me and I’ve been known to say it to my kids as well. Just last week I read another post that suggested I needed to LET my kids feel bored. To reduce the need for me to constantly entertain them. I’m working on it.

    And for myself? I CRAVE boredom right now!

    • I KNOW (she shouts). I realized it was good for kids…I guess I knew subconsciously it was good for us big people.
      I shall now make an effort and PLAN to be bored more often—though it was EASY IN A HOTEL ROOM 🙂
      so few exciting distractions…especially in my cheap icky room…

  36. I don’t like to be uber-scheduled and GOGOGO all the time. But I can tell when things really slow down for me – that’s not when I get bored, but when I get the umph to take on things that I’ve been putting off (like cleaning out closets, drawers, etc).

  38. I’ve never really thought of letting myself be bored. It seems like something I’ve always avoided and really hate, but maybe it’s something I should try embracing more.

  39. I long to be bored. I tend to run away from it (surprise, I know). I find that I’m constantly trying to fill my time with the gazillion things that must.get.done. But really? Do they need to get done? Even on my mini break, I had all intentions of getting bored but of course work cropped up. Alas. I love that you were bored in NYC and that you returned home refreshed.

  41. alas that’s my TO DO LIST.
    And no. I probably do not need a list–but I do love me some crossing off.

  42. I sooooo related as I also grew up hearing the adage that only boring people get bored. M mom would find projects for me if I expressed boredom. Hello laundry folding1 Being able to entertain oneself in any situation is a key skill and one I am happy to have developed. I rarely bore myself as my mind will start creating word plays, mental trips, etc.

  43. My weekend: I planned on doing nothing after accomplishing what I had planned on doing.

    I scheduled ‘do nothing time’. It helps me regroup and recharge. Some may see it as boredom, I see it as refreshing.

    I know many that find it hard to do ‘nothing’ but I see it as a great way to decompress and simply be.

    only boring people get bored <— I think it's a matter of perspective. There is always something to do…even in doing nothing.

  44. Absolutely love this post! I feel like it is so easy to fall into the “gogogo” mind-set and never stop to just relax and think. At the same time, it is so easy to just say we are “bored” the moment life slows down. Instead, like you said, we should embrace the boredom and allow it to be a mediation/creative time. Thanks for sharing this post!

    Rachel

  45. The treadmill of life can be hard to get off of, but really rewarding.
    Boredom healthy? I’m not sure.

  46. I love this! I have never heard that saying “Only the boring get bored” but I am always one to avoid that feeling of boredom. I feel like if I stop being alert and active at all awake hours of the day, I am wasting my time and my life (I know, dramatic) but it is great to lay back and let yourself get bored I’ll have to do that sometime soon! 🙂

  48. Sometimes a day filled with nothing and “being bored” is the best. Helps to relax me. But I definitely understand not wanting to be bored, as a kid I didn’t want to say I was bored either, please no more chores parents!

  49. I’m soooo ADHD that the idea of boredom is both a constant and a never. I always feel the lacking feeling which compels me to gogogo, but at the same time, I’m always gogogoing, that I never really reach that “bored” place.

  51. Sometimes, especially on weekends or nights after a tough workout and shower, I actually like feeling bored. I’ll usually read blogs or go on sites like Pinterest that give me mindless entertainment and the same relaxing experience that helps me clear my mind and sleep better.

  52. Boredom time is daydreaming time! A voyage to the shores of maybe and might be and could be and wouldn’t it be fun if land is just what boredom time is for.

  53. I can always find something to do, but when we were in between houses I found myself very bored, definitely had some great ideas sparked and figured some things I just didn’t want to do anymore.

  54. My mom also used to say, “If you’re bored, go out on the deck and play or read a book.” The few times I do get bored now, it’s usually because I’m waiting somewhere and didn’t bring a book. Then I start obsessively playing with my phone. Or people-watching, which is probably a better choice.

  55. Aw, this was a really quality post. In theory I’d like to write like this as well – taking time and actual effort to generate a excellent article… but what can I say… I procrastinate alot and by no means seem for getting something done.

  57. I always have so much going on that I don’t often get to get luxuriously, and deliciously bored. It’s a nice feeling, because I know I’ve “reset” and am ready to take on more and go out and conquer. 🙂

  58. Great realization and so glad you had a great time. Sometimes being still and quiet is when my brain finally gets to unleash it’s best thoughts. Sometimes being too busy can keep me from really thinking about things in depth. Yes, the creativity is there, but it is far too patient to be pushy when I am zooming around full tilt. Thanks for the post.

  60. I was never bored as a child. We were always outside playing and enjoying the wonderful Southern California weather.

    These days my children do not allow me to be bored, lol. Maybe in a few years, I can enjoy the boredom.

  61. Oh yes I try to avoid boredom at all costs…I feel weird when I don’t have anything to do and think, geez what am I supposed to do with myself now. I’m getting better at embracing the boredom…turning off the computer…the TV…and either getting outside or just reading a book. We need to be still and quiet and bored more often. I think it is good for the brain. XOXO

  62. It’s been years since I’ve said those words! The only boredom I can honestly say that I’ve had lately has been at work sometimes. After working in the field for so long you need a little variety to change it up. Maybe I need an ‘I’m bored’ jar at work? Just don’t let my boss know about it!

  66. We learend VERY quickly to never tell my dad we were bored. He’d have my sisters and I pick up all the pinecones in our (large) yard. Maybe he’s to blame for my inability to sit still now?!

  67. I find it hard to just sit and calm my mind these days. When I don’t have something to do I tend to pull my phone out and surf the internet. I may have the internet portion on my phone turned off so that I be calm and relax my mind when I don’t have anything to do.

  69. Great post about NY Boredom. How’s this for a marketing campaign–NY, NY…the only city where Mizfits can discover the joys of boredom. 🙂

    Many times when the kids say “I’m bored” to me or my husband, what they really mean is “I’m tired of spending time by myself, would you please spend time with me?” We embrace the down time at our house. Kids love to do nothing but read, watch movies, play on iPods. It’s when their down time has run its course that they get bored. I usu need more down time than they do, and it can be a challenge (esp after a busy week or day for ME but not for THEM) to help them combat their boredom while I still need to just chill. Often my husband takes up the slack while I get my me-time. And vice versa.

  70. It’s really about what you make of each moment. If your day is full, there is no time to squeeze boredom in. If your life is full of things you are excited about, then you can’t possibly ever find a boring moment.

  71. I was brought up thinking there shouldn’t be down time and every minute of the day should be productive. I have learned that for me it’s okay to have some down time and that rest and relaxation is actually a good thing!

  72. just the other week when I was up visiting Lori, there were 2 days we were bored!!! crazy as we have a lot of little projects to do, but we just sat back and enjoyed doing nothing!

  73. First, play with husband made my giggle like a perverted teenage boy. I never seem to let myself get bored. Always go go go scheduled to the max. I am working on trying to learn to embrace relaxation and a bit of boredom.

  76. I find the boredom hits me every couple days. Honestly, I need it I spend so much time with kids. School and Coaching wear me out to the full extent. Those brief moments of boredom allow me to sleep better and be ready for the next blast of go-go time.

  77. I’ve always had the same attitude to boredom. I thought people who got bored never took on enough activity in their lives! If I get even a moment of boredom I simply turn to one of the unfinished projects in my life. It would be nice to take the time to stop and contemplate every so often. Once my kids are a little bit older I’ll definitely be instituting the boredom jar, great idea!

  78. I don’t enjoy boredom as it usually triggers my binge-eating… but I find it also helps with creativity.

    I’m a terrible insomniac and it occurs to me that, at night in bed, is the first time I stop and do NOTHING all day. Sure, I’m not working and I don’t have a busy life but I rarely just sit. Even when in the bath (a lot) I read.

    I suspect, like everything, boredom in moderation is a good thing!

  79. Boredom can be a horrible thing for people who are not able to move about or have less friends but for a mum of two and a husband working away i would love a little boredom and a day of doing nothing.

  80. I was surprised to learn the same about your blog— I loved it.I am a big fan of your blog.i am so excited by read of your blog’s content.really great post.Thanks for sharing.
    Conception Calculator

  81. It’s good to break from the shackles of life and let yourself get a little bored. Like you said, it sparked creativity which you probably otherwise wouldn’t have gotten.

  84. I feel as though it is good to be bored sometimes. We don’t have to always be doing something at every minute of the day. Those times when I am bored or have nothing to do, I relax, read a book, listen to music and I am very content. But then again, when I am doing those things, I don’t even consider myself being bored!

  85. Some years ago I came across a little book full of revised quotes called ‘Don’t Just Do Something – Sit There’ which is a play on the standard phrase ‘Don’t just sit there do something’ because for many idleness is seen as a ‘sin.’ Think The Devil finds work for idle hands etc etc.
    But the truth of the matter is that many of our great ideas have sprung from someone spending time being bored – or just sitting there. Legend has it Newton was sitting under an apple tree when he came up with the idea of gravity.

    So be bored – just don’t turn off your mind

  86. I blog quite often and I seriously thank you for your information. The article has truly peaked my interest. I’m going to bookmark your website and keep checking for new details about once per week. I opted in for your RSS feed as well.

  87. I’m right there with you, I don’t like being “non-productive” and I am always needing to be active doing something. There are worse problems to be sure, but it can be a problem not getting any down time.

  88. Sometimes i get in from work and sit down for 2 minutes and then i hear MOM… Its about time i had a little boredom threat in my life lol.

  89. Wow, I think you nailed it on the head. Bordem definitely helps me sleep better. You know that feeling when you have so much on your mind…and its go go go – and then you can’t sleep at night. That is the worst. But when I am a bit bored and my head is clear I sleep great! Bordem is the key!

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