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Happier Coop-days.

Happier Coop-days.

I vacillated about whether or not to write this post.

The thing is—whether it’s my downfall or simply part of my misfit-branding—Im an old-school blogger.

Im blunt.

Im honest.

I over-share my struggles, foibles and failings.

In summation: youre getting the post.

To hang with me on Facebook is to know how long I spent trying to discern what kind of canine was the best match for our slowly getting more active, rambunctious child having, I work from home family.

Quite frankly I wasnt sold on the notion of a boxer—I feared the breed was TOO ACTIVE for us—but was willing to give Coop the Rescue Canine a shot.

life should be filled with second chances

life should be filled with second chances

I quickly grew excited to have a new sidekick.

He was gentle with the Tornado, not CRAZY active as Id feared, and was generally an all around happy-to-be-here canine companion.

Until he exited the domicile.

Coop, Im sure due to experiences he had before we met him, was pretty aggressive with the other dogs.

No worries! We said. Youre part of the family now and we stick by each other!

We sent him off to a fancy training camp and he returned completely obedient.

graduation day

graduation day

He was *totally* compliant for only about a day even with careful & consistent maintaining of all he’d learned at camp.

I cant lie.

I was disappointed. Yes I was in for the long, maintenance haul—but I was frustrated with how aggressive he still seemed with other dogs.

I persevered, however, because as the child pointed out to me one morning:

We adopted Coop. He’s part of our forever family now.

Id hoped with patience, consistency, and training we could overcome his history & lessen his aggressive tendencies.

Until he snapped at the Tornado.

And, later that same day (Poor Coop. It was just a shitty day for him all around.), he got into a kerfuffle with another dog.

Im sure you can see where Im headed and it will come as no surprise we’ve decided to find Coop a new home.

Somewhere more rural perhaps with few other dogs and even fewer children.

In searching for the silver-lining I repeatedly returned to this picture:

<3

<3

When Coop first came home the Tornado was still a bit uncertain if she liked dogs very much.

Even though she completely understands why we need to find him a new forever-home overall this has been a positive experience for her.

And for that —and the fact everything & everyone/canine ended up OK—I am grateful.

 

photo(119)

 

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Comments

  3. Oh how sad. Our boxer snapped at us a few times when we first got him (I was about T’s age I guess) but he got past it pretty quickly. He was only a puppy though.

    I was wondering why you had to send him off for training, but gather he was a problem dog from day 1. Obviously he’s not meant to be around people or families etc.

  7. I’ve heard rescues can be a challenge with children.
    Sorry and hope you try another rescue!!

  9. I am so sorry coop didn’t work out. I am happy that your family enjoyed the good times while they lasted. You will always have that sweet picture.

  11. I’m so glad you did what’s right for you, your family and Coop. You have it a go. You tried. You respected your families boundaries and what Coop needed. It didn’t work. That’s ok.

    I have a foster cat at the moment who sleeps under the bed all day and meows around the house and looks distressed. I felt like a failure. Slight out advice, gonna try some things…and then decide if perhaps our house isn’t best for him. I was sad today when I admire defeat, and then came to realise its all a balancing act.

    Good on you Carla.

    • We adopted a feral cat that did that. He’s been hiding from us for about 2 months but now he’s coming around. He would literally not even be int he same room without hiding. He still hides from any noise and new people, but will occasional come over now and purr and rub himself against us, esp if we give him treats like the greenies:

      http://www.greenies.com/cats.aspx#/products/cat-dental-care

      Both the feral and our normal cat go crazy for this treat. Sometimes when our feral cat get’s spooked and hides all day, we find him by shaking the little treats baggy.

      Also meowing could be okay, some cats are just really vocal. Our normal cat loves, loves meowing! He’s a little less vocal now that he has a brother to play with even though he first tried to scare and kick the other cat out.

      Both cats love these things http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000CMKHDG?ie=UTF8&camp=213733&creative=393185&creativeASIN=B000CMKHDG&linkCode=shr&tag=rutomu-20

      Good luck! Feral cats (cats born in the wild vs. stray cats who were abandoned) tend to be harder and longer to socialize but can end up being the most loving companions!

      -Liana the local cat lady

  12. That’s a tough one, but sure sounds like you’re doing the right thing and heading off big trouble before it’s too late. You can’t UN-bite a child or smaller dog once it happens, and it sure sounds like you’ve done everything you could to try to control him.

    Thanks for sharing the struggles as well as the triumphs, it’s great for people to know that even tough times can be handled with grace. Hugs to all of you!

  15. I’m so sorry. I’ve had to do that before. But he will find a perfect home. And you will find a perfect dog. a MIZFIT dog. hugs.

  17. Aw I’m sorry it didn’t work out. I know it’s hard, I’ve done it twice. But we never know until we try. He’ll find a home that’s fit for him and the safety of the lil one is always first and foremost.

  18. Yes, you need to keep your family, and Coop, safe. He’s safest where there are few dogs or children to push his buttons, buttons he can’t control.

    It’s hard, but you aren’t abandoning him, you are helping him have a better life.

  19. (((hugs))) Such a hard decision, even though it was the right (only?) one to make. As much as we believe in adopting shelter dogs, when our kids were little we got a puppy so we didn’t have to worry about how the dog was raised/treated. Tiger Lilly is a very mellow boxer, unless it’s time for her walk, then she leaps in the air like a kangaroo!

  20. I am so sorry Coop didn’t work out but snapping at children is a deal breaker for me too. It’s scary and no matter how much a part of the “Family” they are, they are still animals. You’ll find the perfect dog for your family!

  21. I’m so sorry it didn’t work out for you and Coop. He still is a lovely dog to see. It’s a risk taking a rescue dog in your home. You don’t know his history or what happened to him before. Our first dog we got when she was 5 years old and she was damaged. She was good in every way and the best dog we could want but she was scared often too and didn’t play. In all the years we had her (12) she never ever walked in front of me, always behind me because that was safe for her.

    Now we have Bella and we thought long if we should buy a pup because we both work. But we did and we haven’t regretted it. You can raise a pup the way you want.

    If you ever want another dog I would buy a pup.

    Hugs for you for now.

  22. I feel bad for you and for Coop. That’s hard. I know from adopting my own little aggressive (but much smaller) rescue dog how hard it can be socializing them. Frodo is doing much better now, but it’s taken MONTHS (we got him the end of April) I figure it’ll be a full year before I can take him to a dog park off leash.

    I also told the shelter that if Frodo bit one of the girls it would be a deal breaker. When my daughter came home from school, that was a real concern. One of the things that the trainer had pointed out during one of our discussions about Frodo (who was snapping at people) was that if he’d wanted to bite, he would have… that snapping was his way of showing that he was feeling insecure… and security takes time. Because the girls were older, that was a risk we decided as a family to take. It could have gone the other way.

    I ALWAYS like to see adult dogs adopted out… pups go easily and are less likely to be euthanized. But I’ve also decided that if I do ever adopt another dog, that I’ll choose one that’s in a foster program with a not-for-profit rescue agency… a dog that’s in a HOME with other dogs instead of being in a kennel, a dog which has been properly socialized with other animals and children.

    Frodo is a LOT of work. If he were a large dog like Coop, I know I wouldn’t be willing to take him on.

  23. I’m sorry it didn’t work out with Coop. But I know he’ll find another family, probably like you said, someplace more rural.

  24. I am so sorry for you & Tornado & RenMan & Coop!!!! HUGE HUGS!!!! You tried you best & that is all you can do – it is not as if you did not try.. he will be better off where he has less distractions & maybe the rescue place can train him a but more – learning from your experience.

    We had an abused dog when I was in high school.. she did not attack BUT she never got over it & it was hard.

    HUGS!!!!!!!!

  29. So sorry to hear it. The whole way around– for Coop, Tornado and you. 🙁

    We had a rescue boxer before we had Jakey. Chino just never seemed to accept us as his owners and eventually we had to find him a different home.

    We were also concerned about our daughter’s safety.

    We always liked the idea of rescuing an animal, but at the end of the day we decided to get a puppy so that it knew from the get-go who ruled the roost.

    Jakey is our gentle giant. <3 he's never once been aggressive towards Kenzer and he even takes commands from her just as he would Alfie and I.

    Perhaps a puppy would be a safer route for you guys as well.

    Good luck with everything!

  30. I am so sorry. I have no words of wisdom, but wanted to offer my condolences. This has to be an incredibly difficult decision.

  31. I can’t even imagine how hard this decision was for y’all!! I know that you are always going to do what is best for your sweet daughter but it still doesn’t make the decision easy – I’m glad that you were able to make the decision and know that he will find the perfect fit in a new home!!!

  37. That’s too bad it didn’t work out, but sometimes you have to know when to call it a day, and with pets, unfortunately, that happens. You never know what has happened with rescue dogs in their previous lives, and no matter how hard you try, some things just can’t be changed. (there’s a reason why Paco doesn’t get to go to the dog park, or go running with us – he does not tolerate other dogs, and I know it’s because of whatever trauma he dealt with when he was a stray puppy on the mean streets)

    Next time, it’ll be better. 🙂

  38. oh!! so many feelings at once here. I am sad it did not work out (I loved the Coop news, you know).

    I know this decision was a difficult one – and one that might be best not only for child/family, but for Coop. acting out = not the happiest he could be? I hope his next landing spot is his forever one, and one that makes him a happy pup.

    <3

  39. I’m sorry. But I absolutely would have made the same decision.

    Hope Coop has found a place that can handle his history.

    {{HUGS}}

  43. I thought I’d come share our experience with you, as support! We adopted a black lab about 3 years ago and 6 months later discovered my oldest was very allergic to him. While the Drs did not say to remove the dog, we ultimately decided to find our new canine companion a forever home. Unfortunately her reactions were affecting her lungs and she could no longer fight a common cold (I’ll leave it very generically at that). It seems to me that she is outgrowing her allergy, so we’ve been dipping our toes in research into dogs best suited for people with allergies. I am not sure at this point if we will go for it, but some breeds truly are great for an active lifestyle and allergies! I’m sorry Carla, I know how hard the decision is but things will work out.

  45. While this makes me so sad, I totally understand your decision. It is one thing to stick by your new family member, but another thing if there is risk to your child. If you couldn’t trust Coop to be safe around your daughter, then you made the right decision.I appreciate your honesty.

    I hope at some point you will be ready to try again. There are so many gentle, loving dogs out there that need a home and would make a perfect match for your family.

  47. Hugs to you all. While we do consider our pets part of the family, when it comes to safety, they are still animals. Safety of your child always come first. If you adopted a child who started assaulting your daughter, it would be a similar heart-wrenching experience, but it would still be smart to find the adopted one another home rather than risk the safety and life of your child.

  48. So sad, but you are doing the right thing. I know it’s a total bummer, but I am so glad you’re doing the responsible thing and finding him the right type of home! Sending lots of love and positive energy your way!

  50. My heart breaks for you, the Tornado, and Coop! There is no “good” solution here, only a “better” one. I wish you much success finding a new suitable home for Coop. The picture of the Tornado and Coop lying on the floor arm in arm brought me such heartache for all of you! Hugs! Know that you tried REALLY hard and it wasn’t you; it just wasn’t going to work.

  52. I’m sad that it didn’t work out for you guys, but I think that means that there’s another home out there that needs Coop, and that will be perfect for him. And maybe his experience with your wonderful family was the stepping-stone that will get him there. I really do believe that everything happens for a reason. In the meantime, hugs for your heavy hearts. I have no doubt it was the right decision but that doesn’t always make it easy.

  53. Awww. But, I think you made the right decision. And, that you made this a learning experience for the tornado. I love that last picture.

  54. Not much solace, but one of my favorite (unattributed) quotations:

    “All you can do is all you can do.”

    You gave it your best shot, now move on. He needs a home where he’s definitely the submissive pack member, and that will help him a lot with the aggression issues.

  55. Never was a day so filled with tears as the day I had to admit that our rescue dog was not working out for our family. Out of all the dogs I’ve had that one experience was such a heart wrencher.
    Rescues can be so wonderful. I say this as I sit next to my warm and loving rescue chiweenie…
    So, so sorry for you and your family. I know the pain and heartbreak.
    You have love for a dog to give and it will happen. I know it!

  56. We had a similar struggle with Monty the basset hound. Got him as a puppy and he was an alpha dog through and through. He could alpha me or hubs so he tried to do it with our son. It got worse as he got bigger and I finally snapped when he jumped up, grabbed my son’s sleeve and pulled him and rolled him down on the floor.

    His new forever home is actually fantastic. Out in the country with dog people (and no kids) he is absolutely doted on and hangs out with Emma the St. Bernard.

    We all cried pretty hard when we pulled away from the drop off point but when he got home we could finally relax for the first time in what felt like weeks.

    You’ve made the right choice for you and your family and that’s all you can do.

    Lisa

  57. I totally feel for you! You made the best decision for your family and that is whats most important. You’ll find your new sidekick! I know it

  58. I understand. I can relate. Last month we bought a puppy, only to return it a few HOURS later. The poor thing turned out to be seriously sick. We didn’t sign up for that. Ugh.

  59. Awww, I loved the Coop updates but he did seem like a high maintenance pooch. I’m sure he’ll find a place where he’s happy, and you’ll find a pup that fits your family!

  62. I’m so sorry you all are going through this with Coop. I’m sure, if dogs were capable of human thought (and I’d kind of like to think that they are) he’d realize you’re doing what’s best for him and he’ll end up somewhere that he feels even better than he does with you & your family. You guys have done lots for him already & finding him a perfect forever home is more than he could ever ask for (if dogs could ask things).

  64. No one needs an aggressive dog in their home. I’ve had to repair some serious facial injuries to the children of dog owners!

    Too many people think their dog is so harmless until it’s too late.

    It’s never a good idea to put your face right in the face of any dog. There are plenty of other ways to show affection for your pet.

    They are not a person!

  65. So sorry. When I was a kid we ended up with a rescue German Shepard who was the same way and had to give her up. I was very sad, but understood. I am glad to see the Tornado is doing the same. Hopefully you can save another pup who may be a better fit for your family.

  66. Awww….so sorry Coop wasn’t the right fit for your family! I know you’ll find him his perfect forever home though, and when you are ready, maybe you’ll welcome a new four legged member into your family. Hugs to all Carla, not an easy decision I’m sure!

  67. HUGS but YES to the silver lining.

    After growing up in a vet clinic (and then working in one for… goodness, about 7 years), I’ve seen a lot of rescue dogs and pure-breds (was Coop a pure-bred?). It’s really fascinating to see their personalities shine through, and how some rescue dogs are so forgiving – and others have a really tough time adapting to a new, healthy, friendly, comfortable environment.

    And I’ve definitely observed over the years the trend of pure-breds just NOT being as nice as mutts. Pure-breds have more health problems than mutts for sure, but they also seem to be more aggressive than mutts (not always, of course! But a definite trend).

    I hope you’re all doing well! xo

  68. I’m so glad all are safe, it was a tough decision, but the right one for your family, *hugs* to you.

  69. This makes me sad, but I truly believe that there is a home out there for him. It was the right decision for everyone. It is scary and stressful to have to worry about an aggressive dog. I hope everyone is coping well.

  71. Aww, so sad. No doubt Coop will always hold a special place in the Tornado’s heart and this will be a good lesson on loss, but with a good ending becaus the perfect home is out there somewhere. 🙁

  72. Oh hugs!! I am so sorry and I know that wasn’t an easy decision to make. We rescued a 1yr old Rotti before we had kids – we spent thousands on obedience training for her (and us), yet we could never take the fact that she was fear aggressive of SMALL dogs out of her. She loved dogs her size, but the small ones scared her. One day she got out of our yard, and bit a small dog. It was very hard – by-law officers visiting us, animal behavioral specialists, the humane society.. Sigh.

  74. Oh I am so so sorry, my friend! I’m sure it was a heart-breaking decision but it sounds like you did the best thing for your family and your situation. I’m glad he only snapped at the Tornado. Sending you positive doggy thoughts that you can find another pet that’s a better fit! (When you’re ready!)

  75. Oh man this is rough. You made a good decision though that was not taken lightly. Good luck to all of you going forward.

  76. I’m so so sorry he didn’t work out with your family. He will find the right family and you will find the right dog. I’m such a huge dog person, but would have done the same thing. There is nothing that would risk the safety of my kids around a family pet. {{{{hugs}}}}

  77. I’m sorry to hear that. It’s a shame when an animal just can’t settle in safely to a home, but I’m glad you were able to realise the best thing for Coop. He’ll find the home he needs, and maybe you’ll find a pet that better suits your home some day too.

  80. When my son was little we adopted a dog that didn’t work out for the very same reason – just not a good fit all around, and the dog snapped at, and actually bit my son. So I took him back to the no-kill shelter we had adopted him from with much guilt and angst. The next week I went back to check up on him and see if, hopefully, he’d been adopted. He had, and while there we met an elderly woman who was leaving the shelter in tears because, although they’d taken her other 4 dogs, they didn’t have room for her lab mutt and she didn’t know what to do – she had recently been diagnosed with Parkinson’s and could no longer take care of the dog. Yep, we walked out of there with her lab mutt, Amy, the best dog ever. We had her in our lives for 15 wonderful years. The right dog for you is out there. And “things work out,” my message for you today. Hang in there.
    Gaye

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