Should we blog about our kids?

rsz 2guat Should we blog about our kids?

I’ve blogged though the Tornado’s entire life.

I blogged before her (2001. We didn’t have a name for what we were doing.) and, while I imagine it will be called something else, I’ll blog long after she’s moved out of the house.

My first blogging gig was paid and had nary a reference to anything familial.

I was hired by a website (Muscle Journal) to post solely about my workouts.  Type. Duration. Cross-training efforts etc.

Back then people thought the site owner crazy (for blogging and for hiring others)–but with hindsight Roger Applewhite was just ahead of the curve.

Screen shot 2014 01 25 at 4.14.39 AM Should we blog about our kids?

ahh youthful headshot

The next blog I launched was all about the Tornado.

I was preparing to move to Guatemala and my writings were intended for friends/family (and, admittedly, as an outlet for cries of Help me!! I’m a new-mama in a foreign land!!) as Skype was a new entity and facetime not yet invented.

There aren’t words enough for how *freely* I blogged there.

It went beyond the notion of Blog as if no one is reading! to Blog as if everyone is reading and will send advice and beef jerky!

rsz screen shot 2014 01 25 at 42426 am Should we blog about our kids?

I had few readers back then.

A handful from our adoption community, a smattering of friends & family and that was about it.  It was 2005 and, while people beginning to discover blogs, it was nothing like it is today.

And that kinda rocked.

I rolled entirely uncensored and gave it not much thought.

Flash forward to 2014.

The Tornado is eight.

Ive blogged here since she was two (hence Toddler Tornado shortened to Tornado).

I think long & hard (& edit and revise) every.single.tidbit. I share about her life.

This habit has become so ingrained (verging on instinctual) I’d not pondered it much until this comment on a post:

Screen shot 2014 01 07 at 8.00.38 AM Should we blog about our kids?

I agree with Tami.

I over-share my life (and, to the Husband’s dismay perhaps, about our relationship)–but am exceedingly cautious when it comes to our daughter.

I share my struggles with parenting because it helps me process and, I hope, helps normalize your experiences.

I share my failures in mothering because blogging is a virtual water-cooler of sorts.  I reveal *my downfalls* not her shortcomings.

I shared about her adoption when she was old enough to understand what it meant and help me create the post.

I share about fun, fitness, foodie things we do together because she’s aware, as we do them, it’s for “public consumption.”

There’s much happening behind the proverbial scenes about which I *long* to blog—-but I do not.

Experiences where I’d love feedback & normalizing—yet I write with an eye to the Tornado reading and need to know she’d be OK with the share.

I write with an eye to her *friends* discovering my blog and need to know she’d be OK with the share.

The internet–for good and for bad–is forever.

Ive signed up to reveal my “bad” online—-she has not.

 

  • Do you censor what you share about children, partners, spouses & family online?

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Comments

  1. says

    Very good question! I try not to share a whole lot about my friends, family. I edit a lot. I just posted a pic of my kids today and I questioned it a lot. But you are absolutely right, the Internet is here to stay. Just be smart about how you use it.

  2. says

    I think this post is great! I definitely censor what I say about both my children and the rest of my family. There are certain trials and tribulations that don’t belong on the blogosphere (not the woo-is-me my child won’t sleep in her own bed … I’m perfectly fine sharing that tidbit ;) Just things that are more personal in nature. Relationship issues, family dynamics, etc. Surprisingly I am a fiercely private person about a lot of things.

    • Healthy Mama says

      I like the idea Carla shared about writing and imaging her daughter’s friends reading the post.

    • says

      Ditto.

      I actually write a lot about Hailey- what she’s up to, her likes, what we do together, but keep super personal details off the blog. I try to consider it as if I’m reading about myself and would I be bothered if my mom had shared XYZ.

      I’m happy to keep it real with MY frustrations (long days, struggles, etc), but her personal info is best left for just us :)

      Great reminder to look closer at what we share!

  3. says

    great post! i think that is the beauty of blogging – we get to choose what we share…. itz not that when we don’t share something, we’re not being honest. i don’t feel that way at all. i think itz part about privacy, itz part about having the freedom to blog about what we want.

  4. Healthy Mama says

    I love how you say it may mention her but it’s about your failings not hers.
    That’s the key point IMO too many mommy bloggers miss.

  5. says

    No, I do not share everything because I feel like some things are not mine entirely to do so. There’s a viewpoint going around the interwebs that some ‘paint’ only positive pictures. This is misguided IMO. I think we should all know by now not to take anything at face value. Not because people are lying, but because there’s so much info. that is simply not public domain. One should share what and when they see fit.

  6. says

    Great topic! I do censor things I share and think deeply about most posts before I hit publish. While I mention my husband, I really don’t speak deeply about our marriage but it’s really because it’s not a focus of my blog. I imagine when (or if ) we have kids, I will treat them the same way…with a mention because they are part of our lives but will leave much of them at home with me. :)

  7. says

    I write very little about my family. If my kids were younger, I probably would be more open, but they are in college and I really don’t feel like I have a right to write much about them for public consumption. My husband guards his privacy very closely, so I try to respect that, although he knows that some of our adventures will be on the blog!

    • Lilly says

      Smart choice. I would love feedback on my twins but feel I should not share.
      They are six.
      Although I do see what you’re saying Carla about sharing your failures becuase that has normalized many of mine.
      I’m contradicting myself here LOL

  8. says

    good question. I try to share our journey.. the good and the bad. But hold back on a few things i think are too personal. Only because i respect our relationship and privacy. that being said, if the kiwi said i could share some things, i would. His career has sponsors looking at more than a good race result. they want to see his life interactions as well. hence holding back some. Anyway, if we had a child, i think i’d be similar to you.. sharing MY momma side.

    Do i make sense? ha… need coffee

  9. Rita says

    Thanks for this post as I’ve wondered about this sort of stuff.
    If the Tornado knows you write about her and if YOU think about what you write before you post.

  10. Lilly says

    I have to say I think we shouldn’t.
    I do not have a blog for that reason because my twins are a big part of my life.
    I think it should be about you or not public.

  11. says

    I generally write about my husband only when we “do” something together, like a trip or a run. I try to respect his right not to reveal too much. When I wanted to write about his two misdiagnoses, I asked his permission. I have had to edit a little when I wrote something that he felt infringed on his privacy, and I learned from that.

    I am also careful when I write about my grandsons. I have their parents’ permission for photos, but if that ever changes I will respect that. I’m careful what I post about my cross country team too, using photos that are shot from the back or far away.

    After all, they didn’t sign up for this, I did.

  12. says

    My whole family is mentioned and pictured on my blog, but I *do* censor what I share about my family.
    I tend to share the good and funny about them. Not their short-comings. Perhaps it seems that I have a perfect husband and perfect children, but it’s not my job to show the world their failures or disappointments.

  13. says

    My husband is always reminding me to be cautious with what we share of L… I can tend toward oversharing and forget that the world is not a trustworthy place. I’ve gotten much more careful about no pics of our house/neighborhood, no details of where we are or when we’re gone, not sharing nearly as much about my daughter the older she’s gotten… but you want to be genuine too, and it’s a hard balance!

  14. says

    Love this post- I am not a mother [yet] but I do think about what I would do if I were a mother and I’m still blogging. I think it’s a valid question to ask yourself and ask others to think about.

  15. says

    I agree with you that I try to take the angle of “this is how I’m dealing with what’s happening in our life” as opposed to “this is what the kids are doing that pisses me off”.

    I don’t always succeed.

    I’ve almost written a few posts concerning their reaction to what’s happening with my mom and dad, then I realized that it was too much for me to put out there.

    I always ask their permission to put up pictures and always ask if they want to vlog with me. They know what I do. They know that I’m honest and they’ve started to say “please don’t post that” and then we talk about why I would or wouldn’t.

  16. says

    “I write with an eye to her *friends* discovering my blog and need to know she’d be OK with the share.” Amen!

    I do talk about my kids, but less and less. And usually only when it relates to my blogging topics – being active, etc. I blog much less about my teenager now that she’s also very active on social media. It also prompts very interesting conversations with her about internet friends versus IRL friends and how the the internet friends can become IRL friends.

    My inlaws read my blog because they like when I talk about my kids, so I’m sure they’re bored now that I’ve cut back a bit. :-)

  17. says

    I am of the same mindset–I share tidbits here and there, but there is definitely a line I won’t cross. A, because like you said, it’s my kids’ story, not mine, to share/not share. B, b/c the Internet can be a creepy place, sometimes, so I owe them that protection as well.

    Having a middle schooler we are starting to get into that territory of what’s ok/not ok for him to do via social media. As of now, he has no accounts, but all his friends do. Unchartered territory and a bridge I will be crossing soon. Ugh.

  18. says

    I rarely write about Olivia on my blog. Since I focus on health and fitness, it’s not often that my child fits in with the topic. Olivia does have her own blog which is private and only available to family members and close friends.

  19. says

    I think you have done a great job with this Carla.. I am not one to bare it all like you & I am careful about anything I say about family or friends & ask their permission… I think we have to be very careful that those that “did not sign up for this” are protected from our own need to share… :) Greta post!

  20. says

    I’ve been blogging for 8 years, and as my kids have gotten older (my youngest is now 8) I have become increasingly careful about what I post. The older kids give permission, and I am super cautious not to write anything that could be personal or embarrassing to me. Any mommy blog type of posts are about me and MY struggles, not really them. Any time I am the least bit unsure about a post, I run it by my husband first. I’m also private about our relationship out of respect to him. I am with you…. I miss the early days when we blogged incognito about any and everything. But times are a’changing, and I want to be sure to respect my kids. Great topic.

  21. says

    This blog post is very much spot-on, especially with the rise of blogging popularity, the many new platforms accessible and so on. Back in the days, many personal blogs were written in some sort of “diary” form, for the world to see, but yet somehow anonymously. I like the way blogging has evolved. Maybe it’s because everything is more popular and accessible, but maybe people (bloggers) have become much braver. I think it’s the latter, and one of the reasons why I support it so much is because we learn to differentiate our private moments and those of our beloved ones, from those that can reliably outline the situation or whatever, without revealing what we wouldn’t want revealed.

  22. says

    The NYTimes Motherlode blog recently posted on this topic. The author was commenting on the fact that—in the name of page clicks—her editor had chosen a pretty controversial post title that the author would have been horrified for her child to eventually read. Her conclusion in the end? SEO is great, page clicks are important, but never at the expense of PEOPLE. It’s a good lesson for all bloggers, I think.

  23. says

    This is part of why I’ve mostly stopped blogging. My blog, post adoption and post pregnancy, became 80% about my kids with some recipes and personal anecdotes thrown in. As the girls stopped being cute toddlers and started being small people, I started feeling less comfortable with blogging their lives. I love being able to go back and look at my archives but now I fear that they will not appreciate my sharing their 5 yr old and 7 yr old struggles. (I could blog about other things but I needed a break so my quitting blogs isn’t all about them.)

  24. says

    Two things: first, I started blogging back in 2005 too and you’re right– it was so different back then! I wrote for my parents and friends without even considering that anyone else would ever stumble across my words. Crazy.

    Secondly, yes! I don’t have children, but I’m very cautious what I share about Will since he didn’t sign up for this online world and quite honestly, is the antithesis of me. I’ve also had lots of readers ask about my day-to-day stories with work, and that’s another area that I’m nervous to share since my employees didn’t ask to be online either. Such a slippery slope.

  25. says

    Absolutely! With one child already using social media and two more on their way, I try and be as respectful as possible of their privacy knowing that what I post may stick with them for a long time to come. We’ve seen how teens use the internet to bully and intimidate one another. I don’t plan on giving anyone fodder to do that to my children. Great, thought-provoking post!

  26. says

    Some good thoughts. I share about my kids, but I haven’t been blogging long enough to get too personal. But then again, probably better to not get so personal. At the same time, I want to be real and share our struggles, not just shiny happy moments. Also, whenever I mention my husband, I check with him to make sure he’s ok with what I wrote.

  27. says

    Blogging is a new frontier, and for those who are raising their children in this online world (mine are grown) the lines can be blurred quickly as to what is right to post about and what is not. As you may know I wrote a post about this recently that has been received very positively by some and harshly criticized by others. It’s a personal issue, but it’s always a good idea to consider whether your child would be comfortable with others reading what you’re writing when she gets older. Everyone is different, but most bloggers are doing this with love and thoughtfulness.

  28. says

    Great post!! I struggle with the “how much is too much?”. I have no trouble over-sharing about me but I know when it comes to my boys, I have to be mindful of what I put out there about them because they are too young to understand and consent. Hubby has already asked that I not post about him, which I completely respect.

    It’s a tough balance because I share as much for the amusement of others as for advice and “is this/am I normal???” for me.

    And no one actually reads my blog ;)

  29. says

    I don’t have kids but I agree – I have signed up to overshare online, my friends and family have not. My husband knows that he’ll make it on the blog sometimes (though I’m pretty good at knowing what to share and not share), and occasionally he’ll tell me – “hey, you should write about this” or “I’d rather you not blog about this” and I totally respect that. If I have any sort of question, I always ask.

    Anyone else, I usually just refer to them by their first letter of their first name (my friend B) and I always carefully consider pictures as well and ask if I’m stealing them from anywhere.

  30. says

    If you go through my blog, I purposely don’t get into too much detail about my child. Now and then she appears, I discuss little bits and pieces of mother moments, but without too much detail. Her life is hers to tell, not mine to publicly ponder. I try to think about what I would have felt like as a young teen having discovered my mother had been writing about me in a public light. About what I won’t eat, if I had a meltdown, if I got straight A’s, etc. I wouldn’t have liked it, but that is me and my personality. Another teen might have been thrilled to have all that attention. We’re in an era that is so drastically different regarding communication than any other time period, the instantaneous information, it’s sometimes overwhelming. I don’t have all of the answers, only that I choose not to over-expose my daughter mostly for her own future psyche. Supposedly now every prospective employer will Google you – will they find a Mother who detailed everything and siphon out unintentional information? These are just thoughts I have pondered while trying to envision what all the future may hold for my daughter *sigh*

  31. says

    I think it’s important to respect the privacy of others on-line. I do think most bloggers talk about their families, That’s why they call it social media :-)

    Still, perhaps “don’t write about others what you wouldn’t want them writing about you” is a good policy.

  32. says

    When I do share personal things about my marriage {no kids} I always ask Gary for his approval first. Or when I post pics of our Godson, I never use his name or other personal information.

  33. says

    I say, do as you wish! If you want to blog about your family/children/etc = GO FOR IT! You are your own boss when it comes to your blog, so you can do what you want.

    For me, I honestly don’t write much about my personal life- when I mentioned that I am in school for nutrition right now (on my latest blog post) I got comments saying that they didn’t know… Exactly, I sort of keep my personal/professional life under wraps, unless it falls in tune with a blog post I am writing! ;) I mean, some people actually think my last name is Eats Celebrities – ha! Maybe I should go change it!

  34. says

    A few times I posted only flattering stories about our children in connection with parenting revelations (I got on my own nerves after all my empty next posts). Then, my daughter pointed out the importance of ALWAYS asking permission. As she pointed out, it was not the content but the exposure that could make them uncomfortable. It was good advice. Privacy should be respected at all ages.

  35. says

    I share a lot about my family and my children but I do censor instinctively. I don’t share things that they would feel self-conscious about, whether now or later.

  36. says

    Yes, i share, some. Yes, i try to be careful. Yes, i try to remember what i once read, a piece of advice from an attorney. He said that writing something online is like taking out a want ad in the paper — forever.

  37. says

    It is perfect timing to read this, thank you. With welcoming the third baby, people have been asking/emailing daily about how the girls are doing and have made assumptions. While I, like you, have many times written blog posts in my head for thoughts and feedback with how to help navigate the world of Mamahood. But, I have attempted to pull back and share what they have given me permission to. My oldest is almost 10- her own independent reading self. We evolve with our families and our blogs evolve along with us. How does your husband feel about it? Your daughter’s thoughts? Again, thank you for sharing this post Carla!

  38. Carla says

    I discuss everything with my daughter before I post. And, if we are doing something which I may post later – cooking playing etc. – I let her know and give her right of first refusal :-) and there have been refusals and I’m okay with that.
    She and I discussed all this again this morning. And she agreed. She said “it’s not okay if she says no but if she says yes then she’s okay being the Tornado for that story.”

    The husband? To be honest I don’t ask – but I don’t talk much about him anyway. Not out of the privacy but it just doesn’t fit :-) i’ve blogged times about him and pointed it out to him after the fact and he’s not minded – but he also doesn’t read my blog much.
    Although he did guest post once!:-)

  39. says

    My husband does not have an online presence at all because he just never got into social media so I am extremely careful about saying too much and sharing pictures of him. I just know it is not his thing and he doesn’t do it on his own, so I should do it for him on my blog.

    As for kids, I don’t have any… but I can understand that this is HUGE. With anything… super personal details have a way of coming back up and re-surfacing on the internet so when that time comes for me to be a momma, I hope to be able to share…but just nothing that a 13 yr old would freak out about later. lol

  40. says

    I censor to an extent. Obviously I don’t share anything that I am not comfortable with. I do blog about my son but not about about everything. And if he came to me when he is older and asked me to not blog about him I would respect his wishes. The bf doesn’t care if I blog about him but I don’t over share about our relationship. I am also careful to not blog about his children since if I was there Mom, I would not be happy with that.

  41. says

    My kids have always been peripheral to my blog – they used to get mentioned when appropriate and I’ve blogged a few times about activities with them. Now that my older son is in middle school, I find I’m mentioning him a lot less. There are a few pictures of him playing his cello (I think) and the occasional picture of him when we are someplace as a family, but no longer focus much on him. And I expect even the pictures will become fewer and farther between because I don’t want him to be embarrassed if any of his friends find my blog.

    And since my husband blogs in a totally different genre, I try not to put too much out there about him that will tie the two together.

  42. says

    I’ve been thinking about this for a while. I’ve definitely pulled back a lot in terms of sharing about my family and especially my kids. I share for many of the same reasons that you do – it helps me process and I hope that support others and I always write from my point of view. But still, I wonder if that’s still too much of my kids out there and something that they definitely didn’t sign up for. I worry about when they get older and when “friends” start finding things on the internet and what impact that might have. I worry.

  43. says

    Awesome post!! Yes, I sensor what I put on the blog about my husband.. that is why I call him Luvy on there. We have talked a lot about this for Baby Delight too– another reason why his name is not on there. He and Luvy didn’t sign up for this… I did! I love your insight and wisdom!! Why can’t we be neighbors??

  44. says

    I do not have children or a life partner of any kind. I usually right about myself, but on the rare occasions I write about the people in my life I use initials and do not place pictures on the internet. I am someone that over shares in my posts, but I try to respect other people’s privacy.

  45. says

    For someone like my husband, I probably over share. However, I don’t feel like I go too overboard. I pick and choose what I want to share, because it is forever. As my kids get older though, that my change depending on what they “allow” me to share too.

  46. says

    Since we don’t have kids yet I’m not 100% sure but know I would sensor that
    BUT I do censor some names and personal info – afraid that now a days anything can be looked up you know?

  47. says

    I do blog about my kids some but I try to make sure it is only in a positive light and nothing that they would be embarrassed about (same with my husband). I think the point at which my boys said they didn’t want to be on the blog anymore I would make some major changes because they are far more important to me than blogging.

  48. says

    Such an important thing to take into consideration! I often wonder what it will do to many children when their entire lives, even from pregnancy, are documented via social media. Will it have any psychological effects? Since it’s become the norm, perhaps there won’t be any problems with it. Or are we breeding a society of over-sharers?

    Then again, that can lead to a whole other question of “what is over-sharing” and where that line is and everything. Our comfort levels are all different.

    I cut back on my blogging a while ago because I felt as though I was sharing a little too much about my personal life. I’m still trying to figure out where my boundaries are. But primarily that has to do with ME and my emotional wellbeing and that sort of thing rather than my friends and family unless I know that they’re cool with it.

  49. says

    I blog about my kids because they are so much apart of my life. I dont dig out dirt in my life because you never know when that information will resurface. I never blog about my husband because he doesn’t like any of it. It is tough with kids becausemine are so young I cant really ask their permission I hope I dont share anything that would embarrass them, mostly it is just snippets of the fun things we do together.

  50. says

    I believe that it is safe to tell stories about personal experiences, but going as far as posting constant pictures and vivid details about children, or anyone for that manner, might be taking blogging to a new extreme. It should be a safe assumption to leave complete personal manner out of the world wide web, and only share needed material.
    That is a great question!

  51. says

    My eyes slid over the title of this blog post a number of times. I didn’t even realize I was avoiding it until I got the email notification of your new post and I realized I hadn’t already read it because I was afraid to read it.

    I blogged about my son’s drug addiction. It’s his story. His struggle. His life. I can say that he knows about it…but I didn’t ask his permission..I just told him about it. He’s okay with it, but in retrospect, I should have asked his permission.

    When I write about the struggles I have being the adult child of a narcissist, I have no problem at all talking about my father. I feel no loyalty to him at all. I will not discuss my mother or my sisters and what they’ve gone through..it’s not my place..they didn’t choose to go public with their part of my family’s dysfunction.

    So why didn’t I afford my son the same courtesy? Maybe because his addiction defined me for a very long time. Maybe because I am fiercely proud of him and what he’s been able to overcome. Or maybe my reasons aren’t that noble. Maybe I was being selfish and focusing too much on my pain as the parent of a heroin addict instead of considering him.

    Like I said, he does know about it and he’s okay with it. He loves his mother…but he’s really not interested reading what I write..

    I’m glad you wrote this article. I’m glad it gave me the opportunity to face the fact that I was uncomfortable and then face it instead of burying it..which is my usual mode.

    I don’t know that I’ve worked it all out yet..but I do know that I need to think about the possible ramifications of the highly personal things that I blog about.

    I know I’ve said this before, but I appreciate you so very much.

  52. says

    Great discussion. I agree it’s important to strike a balance between sharing enough to form connections with readers (and conduct some self-inquiry), but not to overshare by airing dirty laundry or calling out the perceived shortcomings of others. I don’t have children of my own yet, but I do make sure to respect the anonymity of my husband and my students.

  53. says

    Fantastic post Carla. I think your insights are valuable to all who have children or grand children that they blog about. I believe you have to think, think and think again before you post about other peoples lives, even more so when it’s your own children.

    Like you said what you put on the internet is here forever. I feel like you do a really great job of screening what you share. I’m sure many people will benefit from this post.

  54. says

    I keep my blog focused on weight maintenance, what’s working, what did/didn’t work in the past. Occasionally I mention my Jr. Family member, but not often and no photos.

    I assume certain risks and rewards for blogging. My blog is about certain topics. Kids are not a topic I blog about in most cases. It’s a very individual choice-IMO.

  55. says

    Always love your thought-provoking posts. In general, I don’t blog about my family much. My son rarely appeared in photos or posts until he was 12 or 13. That was mostly because my ex-wife was very anti, and I had enough battles to fight. Now, with him on social media (in small doses and audiences), I am not as worried about posting things bout him. I always ask permission before I tag him, however. His friends don’t need to see my catching him doing this or that :) However, it’s also the case that in general, a 14 year old doesn’t fit into a wine blog post!

    Cheers
    Matt
    http://agoodtimewithwine.com

  56. says

    As I come closer to the point of having children this is something I have thought a lot about how I would approach it. I’m still not 100% sure how I will.

    I approach it from an online privacy & reputation perspective – I try to be careful and thoughtful about what I share about myself & my family, and I try to respect the privacy of other people as much as possible.

    With that in mind, when we do have children, I want them to be in control of their own online story, and not start writing it before they are ready. Time will tell how well that plays out.

  57. says

    This is the biggest question for mommy bloggers to think about. Sometimes it’s just plain awkward to read about some of their children’s experiences. They can share some stuff but they have to draw a line somewhere….

  58. says

    I guess you could say I give “broad overviews” of our life.

    I think it’s impossible to get away from not being at least somewhat personal. After all, I want my readers to get to know me a little better. And feel compelled to comment and interact with me.

    I don’t give every nitty gritty detail. And I’ve only recently started to “spread my wings” as far as digging deep in to my emotions and writing about it. And as it turns out, the two posts I’m referring to are the ones that had THE most feedback. So it really is a catch 22.

    With that being said, I’m sure the small tidbits/highlights I give of Kenzer will start to dwindle as she gets older. Just out of respect for her privacy.

  59. says

    I share some, but not many pictures of others aside from John because it’s my blog and not theirs. I will puzzle through things online for feedback and have to disclose some info because of that, but I am pretty conscious of privacy. It sure was different when hardly anyone read my blog.
    Some people don’t wish to be on the internet at all (like my padre) and I respect that. I do feel a lot of people put things on blogs that really don’t need to be there for everyone to read. I sometimes worry about the privacy of children because anyone can grab a photo from online.

  60. says

    Carla, this post really resonated with me. I have thought about this so many times and even have a post lingering out there in my drafts. It has actually been there for about a month. I am very cautious about what I write about my family and my kids for sure. I share some things that aren’t really that personal because I am with you, their story and life is not mine to tell and they need to be protected from all the weirdness that is out there in the virtual world. I definitely never talk about my personal relationship with my husband and since he is not into social media at all I do my best to keep that part of my life very private. I do love my kids and love to share the things that make me smile in hopes that it will also brighten someone elses day but don’t want to cross that line that exposes them too much. We just have to be careful what we put out there.

  61. says

    When I started blogging my husband asked that I not use our child’s real name or likeness. He’s been a blogger for a long time and had strong feelings about keeping our child’s privacy and he has a healthy(?) fear of crazy people.

    I’m open on Facebook because those are people I choose to connect with. If it were entirely up to me, I probably would be more open about my child because, like you mentioned, it’s a great way to process and IRL I’m an open book. It takes a ton of restraint not to NOT blog about a part of my life that is so significant. Being a parent is humbling, frustrating, wonderful and scary and in some ways I feel a bit stunted in keeping that out of my blog but in other ways, it allows me to be even more myself.

    I will say I love hearing about you as a parent and your parenting trials and tribulations. I love being able to identify and learn from others as well. Everyone makes a boundary choice – they may not be easy but I’ll respect that decision as one that only an individual can make.

    It’s always interesting to me how people define their boundaries in every facet of life. Good topic.

  62. says

    You do a great job of sharing enough about Tornado as it affects you, but it’s definitely not a blog about HER. Though I love your insta pics, always. Your relationship makes me happy :)

    For me, I’m careful to keep my blog about my experiences, and if I ever even mention someone else — let alone share a photo — I always ask their permission. I’m even cautious about how much I share about ME just because the internet is a crazy place. It’s such unchartered territory, still, that there’s no perfect prescription for everyone–we must each find our own balance in the blogosphere.

  63. says

    Such a great, thoughtful post. I think many bloggers struggle with this question. I do mention my husband and son, I do post pictures of them, but I also am always thinking of what I would be comfortable with if someone was mentioning me in their blog. The one time I wrote something very personal that was very much about my husband as well as me, I got his permission first. I don’ t think it takes away from your honesty as a blogger if you’re shielding one aspect of your life slightly.

Trackbacks

  1. […] Should we blog about our kids? from Carla Birnberg I read this and I instantly started trying to process what I have put out there for the world to see. My kids and my relationship with my husband are very special to me and I would never want to jeopardize it in any way by talking putting to much information out there on them. I will definitely be re-evaluating what I share about my kids because their privacy and protection is of the utmost importance to me. […]