Oakland. I had no idea Id love ye.
The below is a flashback! post.
The below is not out of laziness—it’s the first part in a 2 part series. This piece was written right before our move to Oakland.
Ive thought a lot recently about the lies we tell ourselves and the various ways our fibs can work for us.
Ive shared how I think fabrication in the name of COSTUMING is healthy.
We all know about healthy living lies which sabotage our efforts (eating while standing at fridge doesn’t count. birthday cakes are calorie free.).
Lately, with the Bay Area looming on the horizon & everything stuffed into boxes, Ive become
majorly obsessed with intrigued by the notion of positive self-deception.
So intrigued, in fact, it’s become a joke between the husband and me.
“No thanks,” I’ll respond when he asks if I want to see an documentary instead of more lowbrow fare. “Bay Area Carla, however, only attends films with artistic intent and subtitles.”
AustinCarla may have grown lazy in her commitment to _______ (<—insert pretty much anything these days) but OaklandCarla plans to do (whatever that is) and then some.
This positive self-deception restricts itself not just to me.
Yesterday morning I invited the Husband to lift weights.
“Not today.” He replied tongue firmly planted in cheek. “I’ll be lifting heavy and training hard when we move. I don’t want to over-train.”
Even though I laughed, I was brought, again, to the concept of positive self- deception.
I considered its proximity to ‘fake it till we make it’ and the ways overestimating our chances of success at new experiences helps us to feel the fear and do it anyway.
I am lying to myself these days and it’s a good thing.
I’m bracketing off/shoving away all negative Oakland-info (rainy weather, hard to get to know other parents, takes a year to feel at home after move) & manufacturing a positive reality to help me better approach my situation.
Lest you fear Ive lost my mind, social psychologists agree self-deception is an effective approach.
- Research shows those who ‘deceive themselves’ in a positive fashion boost self-esteem/feel better overall.
- Studies indicate those who positively self-deceive believe they have more control over their environment than they actually do.
- Information shows we’re *happier* when we CHOOSE to hold views about the future that are more positive than evidence may justify.
How does any of this apply to my relocation?
Allow me to share how Ive chosen to lovingly lie to myself about soon to be OAKLANDme.
Bay Area Carla will:
Be so amazingly organized it will blow your mind out (as the child sadly no longer says):
we all know this ISN’T happening.
Be super duper 24/7 social. Non-stop coffees with mere acquaintances. She will NEVER decline an invitation!
look! it’s social-Carla!
Say: Work? SCHMIRK! There will always be screaming kids underfoot. I will fling open the front door post-move & never shut it!
She’s The Tornado of socializing.
Morph into a runner! This reportedly fun race will be merely one of many:
I’ve run one race. Ever.
Hike & bike so much people will wonder aloud if I even OWN a car:
currently COBWEB’y from lack of use.
Get gussied up. A lot. Lottsa (my version of) fancy will happen in the Bay.
Willie likes me FAAANCY.
Here’s where many bloggers would provide a cute disclaimer, clarify this isn’t *really* what I plan to do & disclose it was just an interesting concept to write about.
I’m not many bloggers.
I’m *so* doing this.
I’d love your thoughts.
- Do you think there’s a difference between ‘fake it till you make it’ & positive self-deception?
- Are you one to proceed with caution believing this deception a dangerous, slippery slope?