(Francis may view my tattoos as mutilation.)
Today’s thoughts mesh perfectly with my post about women and OLD-talk.
This is not the post Id planned to share.
Until I stumbled upon a New York Times article and could not get it out of my head.
Raising Arizona, Fargo, Almost Famous, Wonder Boys, Madeline—she represented to me a woman who BUCKED Hollywood trends, didn’t resemble the stereotypical actress and was happily confident about it all.
She reinforced for me we don’t need to fit a mold to be unstoppable.
I’d erroneously thought we had the B-word in common.
For a while my admiration was a result of assumptions about her (she’s talented. she’s confident. she’s not changing who she is for fame and fortune!) and then, about 5 years ago, I heard an interview with Francis that shifted my life-perspective.
She shared (paraphrasing) her thoughts around how, for her, aging meant the young boys no longer looked at her, but it also meant she no longer saw herself through their eyes.
She no longer saw herself through their eyes.
I’d never heard anything like that before.
I never feared aging yet her word choice (it’s freeing! I ONLY see myself through my own eyes!) framed the experience in a way I’d been unable to articulate.
F.McD exemplified bold confidence to me.
It was for these reasons I eagerly clicked to an article about her bearing the title: A Star Who Has No Time for Vanity.
“We are so alike!” I thought as I began to read. “I have no time for vanity either. I’m too busy embracing LIFE!”
And then I encountered the snippet below where McDormand talked about the abundance of plastic surgery in society (emphasis on the word mutated mine not the NYT’s):
“I have not —->mutated<—- myself in any way,” she shared. “Joel and I have this conversation a lot. He literally has to stop me physically from saying something to people — to friends who’ve had work. I’m so full of fear and rage about what they’ve done.”
I was stunned.
Mutated? Fear? Rage?
Gone, for me, was the confident “I make the choices which work for me. You make those which work for you!” woman I’d admired replaced by, to my mind, a judgmental figure.
While I remain inspired by her commitment to embracing aging in a place like Hollywood; I can’t relate to her absolutely judgement for those who choose a different path.
Mutated? Fear? Rage?
- I believe when we are comfortable with our choices we absolutely don’t care what others do as long as they, too, are OK with their decisions.
- I grasp she may be attempting to “buck the trend” of plastic surgery in Hollywood, but believe she can do what works for her, lead by example and not denigrate others in the process?
I “get” it on an intellectual and feminist level.
There’s a vast amount of pressure on women to grow chronologically older and yet “never age a day.”
I also hope and believe we can choose to walk our own unique path without needing to denigrate others’ choices.
- Can we be “true to ourself“ (as the title indicates) if it requires we put down others to get there?
- Is it *I* who’s being judgmental? Is F.McD simply being brazen with her opinion?