What comes out when youre squeezed?

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imagewe’re more of an apple family.

It shocked me when Wayne Dyer passed away.

In that inimitable way of people who seem larger (and wiser) than life–he appeared to defy something as basely human as death.

Dyer was an individual so often quoted and cited and who achieved such mythological status even while alive it seemed we all let out a collective gasp when learning he passed away.

Everyone has her favorite Wayne Dyer quote and I’m no different.

My faves have shifted depending on the season of my life, but for the past few years it’s been this:

If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

The quote reminds me to shift my perspective.

The sentence reminds me how, at times, the story I’m telling myself may not really be what’s happening.

The fifteen words have prompted me on may occasions to literally change my vantage point in order to forcibly shift my world view.

One of the last “lessons” he shared (many say on the eve of his death. I read the musings on his blog.) addressed how we react when life puts us under pressure.

In his inimitable Wayne Dyer way, he taught via a powerful metaphor and his message is one I’ve thought about consistently since I read the story.

I’ve thought about it when I’ve been under stress.

I’ve thought about it as I’ve watched how others react when life throws them a curve.

I’ve thought about he nailed it as always and how what comes out is, indeed, what fills our insides.

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(The below is paraphrasing. Full version here) 

While on stage presenting, Dyer asks an audience member what would come out if he squeezed an orange.

The individual responds: juice.

Dyer presses on asking apple juice? grapefruit juice? and the audience participant clarifies orange.

Dyer continues, asking why?? why when you squeeze an orange does orange juice come out!?

Finally the person responds:

Well, it’s an orange and that’s what’s inside.

Boom.

That’s what’s inside.

We can pretend (Fakebook if you’re a fan of social media).

We can choose to believe others can’t see what’s happening inside us.

But when life squeezes, when we’re angered or hurt, what flows from within is what’s inside.

(I know, right? simple metaphor. powerful stuff.)

And, if you’re anything like I am, the squeezing can come from so many places.

From the great outside our front door nameless faceless life (work deadlines, traffic, grocery lines etc) to the close to home version pressures, too (child, partner, friend, sister, parents).

With hindsight when I’ve been squeezed some not so pretty stuff has oozed out.

We may have found humor in bowling of fruit–but, as Dyer would say, it’s orange juice just the same.

Dyer ended his discourse with this thought:

When someone puts the pressure on you and out of you comes anything other than love, it’s because that’s what you’ve allowed to be inside.

You’ve allowed to be inside.

Personal responsibility.

I’ve vacillated which whether I entirely agree with his final assertion (I think it’s OK to not be filled with love all the time), yet his larger message is both powerful (for me about what I contain) and revealing (about what flows from others when squeezed).

Now you.

  • Right now.  In this very moment.  If you were squeezed–what would flow from inside?

 

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Comments

  1. Interesting, I am not sure I thought about that one before. I loved Wayne Dyer too, and it was a shock, I felt the same way, I thought he was going to outlive me, be around for ever oozing with his calm, relaxing vibe (even through the TV). It is true that stress really defines us, I am going to think about this a little more over the day, who am I ?

  2. How come I didn’t know Wayne Dyer passed away?!?! Where have I been? Interesting thought. I could say that love comes out of me all the time when squeezed but that would be a lie. Definitely makes me pause to rethink my thoughts and actions.

    • I had no clue either!
      I love Wayne Dyer and his metaphors, but today this one makes me a little sad. I need to work on what is inside.

  4. Well this is an awful lot to think about on a Monday morning 🙂 I do have to remind myself to change perspective and often ask “is this really what’s happening or am I interpreting it the wrong way?”
    I have also been known to do hand stands.

  5. Not to get more graphic in case you’re reading this over breakfast, but I think what comes out when your squeezed is more like what comes out of a blister than what comes out of an orange – it’s what’s bothering you that you haven’t addressed versus your true self. To me a saying like that makes it seem like you have to be kind all the time or you aren’t really kind ever, and I don’t believe any of us are so black and white.

  6. I would like to say that awesomesauce came out 100 percent, but that’s not always the case. I’m guilty of letting little stresses pile up and then squeezing out some not so refreshing juice, I’m working on it though.

  8. I’ll admit that I didn’t know who he was before this but, I love the metaphors and thoughts. Honestly, over the past month, I’ve done my best to ensure that goodness comes out when squeezed or at least best intentions and honesty.

  9. Hmm, I’d like to think good things would come out, but sometimes I can be a real beeyotch under pressure. For me it depends on the kind of pressure: if there’s something I can actually do, I become intensely focused and get it done. If it’s a situation out of my control, I tend to lash out at the people I love.

    Interesting thing to think about.

    • it has been so enlightening for me about me too. even when Ive swallowed my initial reaction—what FIRST wants to emerge is often now what Id want it to be.

  10. I haven’t read much by Dyer, but since his passing, I have read a few blog posts that honor his memory. They’ve contained some great insights. I like how you unpack the comment about orange juice. I think I’d better look directly at some of Dyers books / blog posts. Thank you for sharing how his writings have affected you.

  12. Unless I can count the countless memes that have rolled over the Internet since he died, like Karen, I haven’t read Wayne Dyer’s work. Thank you for sharing his analogy about the orange…simple and so true.

  14. Very thought provoking questions for me on a Monday! Many of his quotes are simple and profound.I would like to say love or nothing depending on the squeezer. BTW,That yoga dash pose was very, very impressive!

  15. Whatever the person doing the squeezing would need at the moment I guess.
    And a whole lotta “tired” as I played too hard this weekend and am packing to spend time w/my 89 yr. old mom who just had a knee replacement….so am ramping up for this next “vacation” week!

  17. I really love this >> “But when life squeezes, when we’re angered or hurt, what flows from within is what’s inside” and what you’ve allowed to be inside. That’s such a powerful way to thinking about our perspective and what we allow in and out of ourselves.

  18. My favorite Wayne Dyer story is when he talks about the best teacher he ever had. Brings a tear. I once wrote about the best teacher I ever had, same effect. Great teachers are few and far between. Dyer was a great one.

  19. Wow, what a great jumping-off point for introspection on a Monday morning! I’m working on filling myself with patience and empathy so that I don’t react with aggravation and frustration. Some days are more successful than others…Thanks for a great post.

  20. I had not heard he died!

    Very thought provoking post! I personally think it is OK not to be happy all the time. I thin it is unhealthy to pretend when we are not feeling at our best. We don;t have to go all crazy when we are out & about but nobody can be happy 24/7.

    Squeezed – stress would come out.

  21. Thanks for writing through this one for us . . . it got me to pause and really think about what his words meant and I will move forward with that amazing image of the orange. Next time I’m under stress, I will be more mindful in the moment, of what comes out. It should be interesting to track.

  24. This message is EXACTLY what I’m working on…producing love in all situations! I would say that it is not always what comes out when pressure is on and I think it’s because I have let hurt linger longer than it should or pressure to be perfect sneaks in uninvited. Thank you for this post!!!

  25. Such powerful stuff. And I’m ashamed to admit it, but right now, I’m dealing with some anger on behalf of my son aimed straight at some of his peers. I am trying hard to afford them grace–they are only 14–but mama bear is fired up. I am always a work in progress!

  26. I feel like lately, it’s not as much love as I’d like or as it used to be, which makes me really sad. Now I can’t stop thinking…”how do I change that?” I’m not even sure where to start!

  27. Didn’t know of his passing either.
    I love this analogy, though. Lately, I feel like some pretty ugly things are squeezed out of me (quick anger & a whole lot of anxiety), and this reminder of perspective comes at a great time.

  28. I got let some anger out just hours ago. With every word we say, whatever we squeeze out comes with responsibility. So we need to balance the anger and hurt and come back with the love and understanding. It’s all part of the human condition.

  30. Wine. If I were squeezed right now wine would flow out. OH! We’re being metaphorical. I sometimes forget. Okay, I don’t forget and I just wanted to talk about wine. Well if you asked me last week my honest answer would have been staph infection ooze from my wound but today is my first antibiotic-free day and my wound is only a couple millimeters deep and I was actually squeezed really hard a few days ago and what came out was silence. I felt the squeeze and realized what the person that was squeezing me (not literally) wanted from me and I breathed and made a decision to choose me. I chose me. Normal life stress squeezes plans out of me but I chose me for the first time instead of doing what I knew – instinctively – the other person wanted and did what was best for me. I may have lost a friend but last time I checked friends don’t have tantrums and demand you violate your boundaries when you are sick and doing your very best to help them and be kind. So shocker of shockers….my honest answer at this time is silence.

  31. This is just what I needed to read today. Having a lot of physical pain from my inflamed occipital muscles and that is what I would love to wring out. I do yoga and mindfulness meditation so need to really focus on that part of my life and wring out the pain.

  32. This is such a timely thought for me. A year ago, I was struggling with a stressful job and an unpleasant work environment, feeling unhealthy and upset. It was my inability to commit to doing something for a friend that made me realize that I wasn’t living like I should — that, when squeezed, “my juice” wasn’t wanted I wanted it to be. At that time, it was meager, bitter, highly acidic…

    After almost a full year away from that job and living a more full life, I could say that there’s definitely a sweeter, richer juice to be squeezed from me.

    Thank you for sharing, and I love your yoga-infused, upside-down perspective from that desk chair!

  33. Very thought-provoking post! I don’t know, if I was squeezed, I think it would be a lot of passion and love. Passion is kind of like love though, so they sort of go hand in hand. I have found that the older I get, the more I feel calm and just want to love others. Makes me such a happier person.

  34. I think if squeezed at this point in my life I’d get a chocolate/vanilla swirl (always with the food references!) There are still some long-held issues that rile me but I feel as if things are coming to a head very soon – like it or not. It will be difficult but still a relief. After that, I’m hoping for pure sunshine!

  35. I am a huge Wayne Dyer fan– my favorite quote… “How people treat you is their karma, how you respond is yours.” As far as what would come out of me if I were squeezed? Hmmm- I’m going through that late in life change, so probably not much .. all dried up.. maybe sand- LOL . xoxo

  36. I think it depends on who is squeezing me.
    When my mother squeezes me what comes out can be a bit…corrosive.
    When my child squeezes me it is something completely different.
    Non-family members??
    I don’t want to go off an any tangents…
    Very interesting concept though.

  37. at least it’s organic juice, right? just kidding actually no, it is organic. And I am working on shifting the organic juice to being more REFRESHING versus sour. YOu know why. working within

  38. This is so perfect! I recently left a pretty toxic work environment because day in and day out I realized that what was pouring and seeping out of me, even on good days, is not what I wanted to manifest. I’ve made the move and thankfully before I became too jaded to remain open. THANK YOU for this!

  39. WHEW!! This is so very true.
    I, like you, have found that when I am squeezed it is not always love and grace that oozes from my veins. Sharper edges creep out. A certain amount of jaded-cynical-world-views come out. I try always to let go of fear. But it is something that changes you. It is a work in progress always.

  40. Needing this post today. I want happiness and love to come out when squeezed, but I think many times it’s the edge of negativity. Especially when I don’t get enough sleep.

  44. When I’m squeezed usually fear comes out, not love. I’m not sure how to ooze love when squeezed, something to work toward I suppose! Like you though, I think it’s okay not to be always filled with love, we’re human!

  45. I think I’ve been living under a rock, but I had no idea who he was until I read this. ._.

    I’d like to think that if squeezed, best intentions and a positive outlook would always come out! (Probably a lot of latent stress that I’ve been keeping at the back of my mind too!)

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