3 ways to boost emotional metabolism.

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Years ago, during yet other foray into creating a yoga practice, I had an instructor who was smitten with the idea of emotional metabolism.

Many of us are here to increase our metabolic rate, she’d tell us at start of class. And yet, the more important metabolism, the emotional metabolism, should be what we’re really seeking to elevate.

Each time she’d say these words I’d file them under ‘should explore more later,’ refocus on my ease and promptly forget about all of it the moment my feet left the mat.

I knew about physical metabolism.

I was aware of its life sustaining importance.

I’d experienced its rise & fall and the impact those peaks & valleys had on my physical well-being.

I wasn’t intrigued enough to investigate a metabolism I couldn’t see.

It was the late 90’s. I, along with the rest of the pop-culture loving world, had seen what yoga did for Madonna’s physique .

I was showing up solely for the workout.

Flash forward a few decades and I’ve returned to the mat with entirely different goals in mind.

I’ve discovered Candace Pert, realized how rarely used my scientific journal reading brain is lately, and distilled her layered notion of emotional metabolism into ways and terms I could grasp.

  • As with physical metabolism, my emotional metabolism could (and had!) become sluggish.
  • My emotional metabolism had slowed due to intake of junky-emotions from the world around me (fear, anger, disappointment, jealousy).
  • I, in essence, was kinda constipated thanks to keeping some emotions inside instead of letting them flow freely.

I’d succeeded in stoking the fires of my 47 year old physical metabolism, but my emotional metabolic rate (meditation, zen-moments and all!) was perilously close to grinding to a halt.

I needed help.

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Carefully do a cleanse.

Humans average 60,000 thoughts per day. In addition, according to research, 70-80% of these thoughts are negative (!).  The good news? We have a choice. Our brains believe the stories we tell them. To re-spark my emotional metabolism I can choose to add new positive daily statements and focus on cleansing old, unhelpful negative ones. Doing this cleanse helped make me more intentional with the words I use To myself, about myself and toward others.

Completely consume compliments.

This, thankfully, is an area I rock. I know how to fully receive a nicety. I connect with the compliment-proffer (eye-contact) and say thank you. Full stop. I don’t denigrate myself or the giver by brushing off the compliment or debating the validity of the sweet statement. I embrace the words, I savor the kindness, I fully buy into the positive statement, I own my good qualities, I believe what the other person has said. I remind myself of these words/thoughts later when if I feel “less than.” Nothing stokes the fires of our emotional metabolic rates like embracing, owning and integrating the positive. Which leads me to…

Evade negative emotions.

Bob and weave! Bob and weave! is the mantra I’ve created for this metabolic boosting approach. It’s not a tactic which will work forever (as much as I’d all love to prune all negativity from my life) yet it can work as a short term boost.

It’s similar to when I decide: I’m sipping too much soda. I need to take a break. I have an awareness soda isn’t good for me/my metabolism, but realistically realize I’ll eventually drink it again. Walking away from negativity (gossip, pessimism, competitiveness, judgement) for a few weeks boosts our emotional metabolism even when it can’t be forever. Positive emotions nurture us (like my choosing water) while consuming negative emotions (my beloved soda) can make us sick.

Here the decades of the 20’s & 30’s were mainly about the vessel.

I cared most about how I looked physically and consumed consciously to create the exterior I desired and to feel physically at my peak.

My 40’s are about emotional metabolism and how it supports my well-being.

I’ve chosen to shift the focus from how I look and place it on my internal ability to process emotions (mine and those around me) in a manner which supports my emotional health.

And you?

  • Have you considered the importance of stoking your emotional metabolic fires?
  • How could you work to boost your emotional metabolism?

 

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Comments

  1. This is a timely reminder since it seems their negativity and anger everywhere these days. there’s a lot of emotionally constipated people! Sharing so hopefully more people will let things flow. In more than one way!

  2. I am ALL about the bob and weave technique but I could use an emotional cleanse for sure! I sometimes forget I have control over what thoughts I let stay and set up camp. And you know I USE exercise as an emotional and physical cleanse but need to keep the feeling all.day.long.

  4. I feel I’ve been working on this recently without knowing it. I’ve figured out how to take care of my emotional self (finally) the way I’ve been taking care of my physical body for years.

  5. I love that. I have learned to receive a compliment as well, and not shrug it off, or minimize the object of the compliment, whether its my clothes, skills or the creative work I produce.

  6. I’ve been trying to bob and weave but those negative folks are pretty good at hitting this target! Working on the cleanse as we speak. I’ve started the new Oprah-Deepak 21 day meditation. I’m determined to stick with it this time.

  8. Great piece (leading possibly to peace…). Have you read Shonda Rhimes’s book, Year of Yes? She has a whole chapter powerfully explaining why accepting compliments is a gift to yourself AND the giver.

  9. Brilliant. The term emotional metabolism i so fitting and makes sense. Our emotions can play such a strong role in our overall health and well-being that it really is important that we make sure to boost our emotional metabolism just as we would boost our physical metabolism for improved physical health. Giving and accepting genuine compliments is a great booster, and so is avoiding toxic people and toxic situations as much as possible.

  10. This is something I’ve been coming to terms with since hitting the big 5-0 Carla – it’s all about positivity and getting rid of the stuff that drains us emotionally and sucks us dry. Nobody (especially me) wants to be an emotional husk!

  11. Yes to all of this. I’ve found that cleaning out my social media stream is a great place to start. It’s amazing how reading negative post after negative post can lead to a downward spiral in mood…

  12. My rule is, if a thought is negative, i consider — would i let someone say such a negative thing to my best friend? If not, i cannot say it to myself, either. It helps.

  13. I avoid negative things and people that don’t MATTER to me. I tend to ignore most things that don’t MATTER to me … I find that my circle is getting smaller which may or may not be healthy!

  14. Hey! I think this is what I call “give-a-sh#t”. My emotional metabolism is running low (it always is around this time of year but this may be a new depth…), and I can’t wait to recharge it and cleanse it with some vacation time.

  15. As a life coach, this is a lot of what I teach my clients. One thing we have control over is our thinking! We can’t control who gets elected President, who our kids choose to date or marry, etc., but we can change how we think about anything. Great post!

  16. So great, as always. I was so sad to hear of Dr. Pert’s untimely passing. I have met a couple of people who knew her and she seemed awesome. Love her books. Thanks for the timely reminder about filtering the negative. Deep breath, just a few more days til November 9th.

  20. Nurturing one’s emotional metabolism…brilliant. and yes, we’re all going to need one epic national cleanse on November 9. Thank you for this.

  23. This is so interesting! I have never heard the concept of emotional metabolism before but what you said about being “constipated” with pent up emotions definitely holds true for me sometimes.

  24. I begin each day with a thankful cleanse (meditative run, bike or swim) before heading to work. It’s a LEAST 40-45 min. of looking at the stars, listening to coyotes and owls or just hearing my own breathing as a swim under a dark sky. Sets the day, Sets my mind. Let’s me laugh at what others are getting so angry/excited about because to me it doesn’t matter. Working with my kids at school is what matters . Spending time with my hubby, parents, siblings and daughter is what matters. You can “have” everything else.

  26. Omg compliments used to be so hard for me. I got so uncomfortable and immediately offered reasons why they weren’t to be taken seriously. It took a lot of discomfort to just sit and say thank you, but now it’s gotten much better. If I get too many in a close period of time I start to feel that discomfort again, but luckily I acknowledge that and let it pass.

  28. I’ve been leaving this unread in my Feedly Reader for days Carla as I could very much relate and needed to process it. I’m still not there but pondering it. I struggle reframing things and the mental / emotional detox / cleanse is hard for me as my mind just won’t let up. I do like the idea of better absorbing compliments though.

  29. Fighting negative thoughts is one of the toughest thing we are faced with. A human mind is wired to think negatively most of the time. There is a need to train your brain to think about the positives in life. It is not easy though.

  30. What…… Emotional Metobolism?
    You are awesome.
    You are not just pumping me to Live health But also helping me become good as human beig.
    Thanks For this awesome Post

  33. Completely consume compliments? I swear before I even finish hearing the compliment, I am thinking of a way I can verbally invalidate it. It is one of my weaker points! I really have to think about these things because my emotional metabolism has been untouched for so long!

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