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  1. OOOOh I love that idea of the decadence list. Girl, you are a wealth of awesome ideas, fer real! I’m dealing with a lot of crap right now that I can’t really control or DO anything about. But I know I need to deal with how I respond to that and I think this decadence list is really going to help. I had already been planning to give myself an indulgence each week as a part of my training something like the things you mentioned. Not as a reward for being “good” just for begin me.

    I’m starting to realize that I deserve good treatment and even as I write this I think I’m having a bit of an epiphany. I’m getting closer and closer to understanding this better. If I deprive myself of things that are good for me I end up eating them later when I lose control. If I keep myself nourished and loved maybe I won’t need as much sugar to fill the void. It is all obvious in a way but it takes a lot of work on the inside to make it click.

    I’ll definitely be using the decadence list… definitely.

  3. Great advice!

    I think a lot of folks just aren’t in the habit of checking in with their feelings… and making those connections between feelings and emotional eating can be really powerful.

    (Fortunately for me, feeling anxious or sad or angry makes me LESS hungry. My bad habits tend to be less related to emotions and more about temptations… unless you can call “chocolate chip cookies sure taste good” an emotion.)

  4. My “I Love Myself” list includes the usual manicure, pedicure, facial, etc., type stuff, but it also includes things like a long phone conversation with a faraway friend and time set aside for writing fiction.

    It’s neat how, over time, you can learn to recognize emotional eating tendencies and squash them like a bug. True self-dialog from Saturday a.m.: “No, you do NOT deserve an order of McDonald’s hashbrowns because your tire was flat and you couldn’t fix it yourself. You can have a yogurt parfait like a healthy person. But it was a nice try.”

    Great post for a Monday a.m.! Thanks!

  5. Cammy, great idea about the phone call.

    *that* can be done anytime anywhere (even if the treat ends up being leaving a rambling vent for aforementioned friend—-not that Id ever do that ;))!

    Im so impressed by your saturday dialog/DECISION—-having just been through that irritating occurrence it’s far too easy to lean toward the fried tater end of the spectrum.

    M.

  6. I find that the busier I am and the more I have my eyes on the goal of accomplishing a task, the less time I spend wallowing in self pity or stressing or just trash talking myself. The last two weeks worth of flood relief have shown me a great deal about that. If my hands are busy, my mind is busy. When there is no time for the negative self to sneak in, it doesn’t.

    My house is cleaner than it has been in years because I have been cleaning non-stop. The reward is how it looks when it is done. Being in control of that helps me be more in control of the rest of my life.

    😀

  7. Oh, so Ben and Jerry’s CAN’T go on a decadence list? Shucks! 😛

    But I’m with the crab. When I’m nervous or anxious, I tend not to eat (for example, I have a huge event on Wednesday and I have no desire to eat right now). For me it’s the reward of the accomplishment that I may celebrate with something that’s a big no-no.

    I have to remember that I will be celebrating with a 4k tempo run instead…or buy myself that coach purse.

  8. Oh, emotional eating. I have been your slave for years and years! Mad, sad, frustrated, irritated – cookies always seem to be what I want.

    I combat first by not keeping the things I crave in the house. That way, if I am dying for something sweet, it’s an apple or some yogurt instead. If we do have junk in the house, my husband hides it, and I don’t go looking for it. (I know, it seems really strange, but we both know how I am and I appreciate the sneakiness!)

    Second, I find something else to take out my emotions on. Like, scrubbing the bath tub with all the strength in my arms. Generally this is accompanied by a myriad of bad words and snarkiness, but it’s a venue for me to get it all out. And it’s much better than yelling at the dog.

  9. and, Gena, as a woman who loves her bullmastiff like a brother (yeah. Isaidit.) sometimes it’s better to yell at the dog than cram cookies in cakehole.

    (I love alliteration like a sister.)

    I’ve found that mine often translates my yelling into MAMA EXCITED! & responds by wagging his tail and leaping to his feet!

    M.

  10. Wow, you really already have my thoughts. You are so wise!

    My big thing is to simply give myself permission to feel what I’m feeling. If I’m angry or sad or neglected or taken for granted, whatever it is that makes me want to throw it all to the winds and just eat, then I give myself 15 minutes to just feel that, to discuss with myself internally why I feel that way, and whether it’s something I know intellectually is warranted or whether it’s maybe a hormonal reaction, or something similar. Either way, just accepting and granting legitimacy to the emotions will often reduce the need to “wash them away” with food or whatever. Sometimes it doesn’t.

    A really hard habit to build, but a really great one, is to go DO something when I start feeling that way. Endorphins from exercise are so much more effective and long-lasting than the ones you get from food. If you can make yourself do this a few times, it is so effective, it will become your “drug of choice”. A bike ride or a walk will so often clear my head and my heart – and provide that quiet time to work through what I’m feeling.

    I think so often we think our feelings are not appropriate or acceptable and we try to “fix” them or stifle them or change them. But the bottom line is, you have a right to feel whatever it is you feel and you shouldn’t feel compelled to get rid of it. Pay attention to it – it’s like a hungry child (analogy by Thich Nhat Hanh, not me!). If you ignore it, it will cry more loudly. If you embrace it, nurture it, and figure out what it needs, then it won’t need to cry.

    So, nothing you didn’t already say, but that’s what works for me. 🙂

    V.

  11. and SO WELL SAID.

    *And* if the Bumbling Band is anything like me it takes many times and MYRIAD WAYS of hearing something for it to JOLT (me) into action.

    Thank you for taking the time, V!

    M.

  12. Loved this! I’ve said it before, but I think your next career should be as a fitness therapist. You’ve got as much insight as muscles and both are considerable!

    Val made some great points. I wish I could do what she said! Working on it…

  13. Grocery shopping alone? People do that?!?!?! Wow — that would be a decadence!

    This is great advice. I’ve got to put together a list like that!

  14. Charlotte? thanks for the kind words (as we’ve previously established I sorely needed them ;)).

    I picked myself up by the proverbial (if by PROVERBIAL you mean BORROWED from the BAG LADY—–which I do) boot straps and am bound and determined to be a Fitness Somethin’ Somethin’ if it kills me, errrr, makes me stronger.

    M.

  15. I really like your decadence list idea as well. I can be a huge emotional eater… although if I’m depressed I eat less. It’s more if I’m just slightly upset or anxious that I eat more. But I just try to get myself AWAY from food when I start to recognize my emotional eating taking over… going out for a walk is the best thing to do for me because that way I’m not indulging in the food, I’m getting in a bit of exercise, and it boosts my mood a considerable amount. Plus it always makes me happy to see dogs being walked and all; passing them on the street, they look so excited to see new people and it cheers me up!

  16. The emotional eating. For me it attacks in the evening if i sit and watch tv or something. That is why i really have dosconnected so much with the tx. Great facetime this week since it is something many of us go through. If it is late i will indulge in going to bed early instead of eating something i should not.

  17. I absolutely love the decadence list idea. And also – taking the kids outside to scream. Heh. What fun!

    Stress relievers for us? Going outside and having a water gun fight – inside? a pillow fight. I taught my oldest daughter to scream into her pillow when she can’t figure out why she is so angry. It always seems to work.

    I find that if I’m having an emotional day and the need to snack – it is helpful if I have carrots or other fresh veggies close by. As long as I have something to crunch, I’m okay.

    I have other ways of reducing stress that involve my Hunkahubby – but I’m not giving the details in this comment! LOL

    Have a great Monday!

  18. I am an emotional person, always have been. People who know me and/or work with me can tell ya some stories. Over the years I cannot say I have been an emotional eater, but I have been emotional.
    I believe in being human, and allowing ourselves to be as human as possible, with our mistakes and our wonderful attributes. I think I talked about this before, I follow the worse-case scenario lifestyle. Unless it kills me, my loved ones, or someone else it can and will be handled. If I slip up and break down (emotionally eat), I try to take stock in the why’s and why not’s and learn from it.
    I do like the decadence list, I like it as a great reminder to ourselves of how great we really are and that we deserve pleasure in any and every form we can enjoy, but at the same time checking ourselves at the ‘proverbial’ door of control.
    Love the post my dear! (And diggin’ the rocking biceps!) 🙂

  20. you always make me smile mizthang 😉

    I would LOVE alone readingquiet time. Just me & the 7 books I’m reading right now.

  21. Awesome post about an important topic that affects so many people. I’ve never heard of making a decadence list, but it’s such a good idea! Massage and reading magazines would definitely be on my list.

    Also, I think the part about focusing less on diet and weight-loss and more on overall positive self-talk and health is key. I spent my teen years obsessed with a number on the scale (way before I was a true fit bottomed girl, hehe) and all it did was make me miserable. Now, I’ve cut out the negative jabber in the my head and focused on what’s most important — health and my happiness. When you do that, the rest just comes naturally.

    Thanks for the awesome start to the week!

  22. This was a great facetime!!

    LOVE the idea of a decadence list.

    *must think of something decadent…*

    And you can borrow my bootstraps (or my proverbials) any time you want, m’dear!

  23. I absolutely NEVER “yell” at or criticize myself for wanting to eat emotionally. It’s a wonderful impulse to want to nurture myself and it’s not my fault that my immediate impulse when I need nurturing is to turn to food. A lot of nature and history go into that impulse. Besides, telling myself that the impulse to eat is somehow wrong or bad is a guaranteed way to start a major emotional eating session.

    I try to use my gentlest most loving internal voice (the one I use externally when my son has an owie) and tell myself “You can absolutely have a bag of peanut M&M’s if you want, darling. But first let’s *feel* this icky emotion so you can actually enjoy them. Now, what icky feeling is that? What made it happen? What would be the problem with feeling it right now?” If the answer is “I’m driving and I would start crying and drive into the ditch,” I might say loving things to myself until I get where I’m going or pull over. Otherwise, I remind myself that everything will seem much better if I just let myself *feel* and that feeling all the scary sad heartbroken stuff has never defeated me in the past, but eating instead of feeling it has.

    It’s amazing how refreshed I feel after doing something so loving for myself. Generally, I don’t need to eat after I’ve done that, but if I really want those peanut M&M’s still, I tell myself I can certainly have them, and end up only eating a few because I love the taste.

    I also enjoy my exercise endorphins, and certainly exercise as a part of self-care. But for me, I don’t do it instead of eating. In my experience, if I do that exercising turns into something else I overdo and I end up fixating and obsessing on that just as much as I otherwise obsess about food. And just like I don’t really enjoy food when I eat emotionally, I don’t get as much real benefit from exercise when I “exercise emotionally.”


  24. Not adding.

    Reminding.

    Please to read and REread Heather’s comment above.

    Powerful.

    Insightful.

    Thought provoking.

    M.

  26. Haha! I asked my teenager why she has 10+ half-empty cups in her room…she said: “that’s the way I roll.” I had to chuckle when I read your comment. 🙂

  27. Guilty!Dang sugar drinks and chocolate are my “treats”to myself for being mommy. Need to write a decadence list.
    I agree with your commenters about getting AWAY from the temptation. Last night we went out and played soccer after dinner- therefore getting me away from my temptation to savenge the kitchen for dark chocolate. (apologies for spelling errors)

  29. Very insightful, Miz! Perhaps this is useless for others, but I guess for myself, when I’m into eating for emotional reasons, I always only eat high volume, low calorie food, ie, air-popped popcorn, fruit, etc, so if there is any damage it isn’t too bad. I realize this may not address the problem, but it does address the goal and with time, perhaps it makes the problem less severe.

  30. Uhhh… does everybody REALLY get up that early and comment??! I’m a bit of a night owl so here’s my late-morning input… My decadence list (LOVE the name – sounds so indulgent, Miz!) would have a few spa treatments, shopping, and a nap with my cool calico cat.

  31. You manage to hit the nail right on the head. I have found the your comments over teh past few weeks to be so incredibly releveant and insightful. I have the hardest time STOPPING to figure out what I am feeling and feel it. I just immediately want to start teh eating and not deal with the feeling. It is such a terrible habit and habits are hard to break.

    I also couldn’t agree more with your comment to stop focusing on the diet and start focusing on being kind to myself. I need to focus more on just living a healthy life and not obsessing about the dieting.

    Thank you.

  32. love the list idea!
    will def take me some time to remember to pull it out and use it!
    also love heather’s insight on recognizing and feeling the emotions and then eating a treat if you still really want it. sometimes i find it better to slightly indulge a food craving instead of obsessing over it for a week and then going nuts on it!!
    on a totally unrelated note….any one into roller derby??? just went o my first match last friday. sooooo much fun!

  35. GREAT face time today! I love the decadence list idea- why have I never thought of that?!?!? I am so making and posting mine soon. Love it.

    I am such an action oriented person that when something is bothering me, instead of turning to food I immediately try to think of how I can make the situation better. What I can DO instead of focusing on whatever it is that occurred. This works for me- sometimes it means going outside and weeding in my garden (something I enjoy) for 15 minutes to clear my head and make a plan. Sometimes it is setting the timer and seeing how fast I can clean up the toys while I think. If I am moving and doing, I am not looking through the cupboards for something. Calling a friend to vent is also good for me ’cause then it is out of my head and I don’t have to revisit it again.

    Off to make my list!

  36. I’ve reprogrammed my brain to crave running over M&M’s when I need an emotional outlet. It usually works…

    I’m a little confused about the “outside” voice screaming ritual. Can you upload a video clip showing how it’s done? 😉

  37. Reading. Learning. Thanking.

    (especially those of you who are sharing your IM A STRESSED OUT NONEATER, PEOPLE, AND IT’S NOT ALWAYS A GOOD THING insights as well.)

    M.

  38. The way I beat emotional eating? I don’t have the stuff in my house. Usually being lazy beats out the emotion so I prefer to stay home rather then go on a grease hunt.

    By the way, I love your site. I’ve just started working out again and it’s difficult. I was a major athlete in college, but now that I am older and a mom I feel like I’m relearning everything. It’s nice to find a site that will help me through this.

  39. “The focus needs to be less on diet and more on self-love”.

    So true!

    Personally, this is one problem that I don’t have (I have others though 🙂 because I tend to completely lose my appetite when I’m sad or stressed. It’s like my throat closes down and I can’t swallow. This is not necessarily a good thing, b/c while I don’t reach out for sugar when upset, I don’t eat much either, and not eating eventually makes me feel physically unwell in addition to the emotional stress.

  40. I’m a stress cooker. On a really bad day I’ll crank out tons of stuff. You can tell how pissed I am by counting the layers of ganache in the cake. If there are more than 2 kinds of baked goods on the counter my husband will automatically buy dinner…no questions asked.

    My decadence list includes a bath full of stuff from Lush, gossip, and buying music from itunes.

    And Fatfighter, I think the blog is hosted on Pacific time or something. I’m posting at 1:24 pm Ann Arbor time.

    : )

  41. I love the image of you and your toddler outside screaming and jumping. Sigh…it takes me back to my kids’ early years.

    Eating and how I’m feeling and how I believe the day is going to go somehow get all tied together for me (I even blogged about it today!). When I’m tempted to get all caught up in emotional eating, I try to remember that it’s almost always about something other than hunger. But I’ll confess that I do keep some healthy “treats” around — like frozen yogurt with berries, ice pops, etc. — for those times when I feel like just a little something would make me feel so much better. Sort of like planning for emotional eating, if that makes sense.

    As for decadence, a nice walk with my dog or my iPod always makes me feel good. And when I’m feeling lonely or sad or misunderstood, I’ll often take out letters my mother wrote to me while I was in college and remember how much she loved me. Watching a funny movie with the family often helps, too.

  42. Great post! I love the decadence list, and going grocery shopping by myself would be at the top. Right under that, being at home for about 4 hours all by myself. Hell, I’d be happy if I could go to the bathroom by myself.

    I love the advice to stop and recognize the feeling before going for the food. I immediately reach for something to eat (not even bad food, just food food,) when I get stressed. I need to learn to stop and feel the feeling before I start eating. Once I start eating, I just feel bad, which makes me eat more. It is a downward spiral. Maybe if I stop it at the top, it won’t get out of hand.

    Thanks for the insight Mizfits!

  43. I’m totally a stress eater. I eat to numb something, although I’m not sure what. I find the need to eat is really bad at the kids bedtime b/c they scream like no tomorrow and my stress level is just thru the roof. I know I need to change it, so I’m going to make a note to myself that tonight I will steer clear of the pantry after bedtime. I love reading all the comments on this one…it is good to know I am not alone with this.

  44. Recently I was having a very.bad.day. As I was driving home I thought to myself “I’m sooooo going to have a big bowl of ice cream when I get home because I sooooo deserve it.” Luckily, I had a bit of time in the car before I got home…so rather than being able to devour the ice cream immediately, I got to ponder what I was thinking.

    Why did having a bad day make me “eligible” for ice cream? Would I feel better after eating the ice cream? Would that resolve the issues of my very.bad.day?

    By the time I got home, I just had a glass of wine instead. Baby steps.

  45. So true, SlackerMama.
    When I worked with clients and they had a bad eating day (their words) often, when we’d talk about it, they’d realize that even the (fingerquote) bad day (unFQ) was far better than every day before they made the choice to change their lifestyle to a healthier one.

    baby steps.

    with all things in life.

    M.

  46. This topic is so near and dear to my heart!
    Baby steps…. ain’t that the truth! Emotional eating is a topic I’ve struggled with for a pretty long time. Quite honestly it has been my personal journey with food and health that has led me into my career today, so in many ways I am very grateful for my “challenges” food and weight. It’s these very struggles that have taught me how to work with others with the same challenges.
    I couldn’t agree more with you about “feeling your feelings”, running to food is ultimately a temporary escape that only lasts as long as the it takes to finish the ice cream and when you’re all done with that well, the feelings are still waiting to be dealt with.
    For me, learning to ACCEPT all of me; feelings, thoughts, body, judgments, opinions etc. is where the work was/is to be done. The “good” with the “bad”, the whole enchilada. Giving myself “permission” to be exactly as I AM and not who “I think” I should be. Realizing that my value goes so far deeper than my sensory perceptions and opinions of who I am.
    It’s funny, b/c for a long time I felt very ashamed and embarassed about the way I “used” food to make myself “feel better” and then I finally realized, I was trying to take care of myself the best way I knew how. And you know what they say, “when you know better, you do better” and so I ‘m always a work in progress.
    Great advice once again, MizFit! Keep up the amazing work!

  47. Thanks for all the great advise. I had to watch a few times because I kept getting distracted by your arms. Talk about fit, holy smokes!

  48. i’m so glad i’m not the only one who doesn’t realize CHEESE MELTS WHEN HOT.

    i’ll be back later to watch the video….. aka when my boss leaves me alone.

  49. Decadence list is a fan-friggin-tastic idea! Look for my post about it later on when I get home from the gym, I’m going to think about it while I’m on the elliptical machine! I will shout you out!!

    My emotional eating comes from being happy. When I’m depressed or lonely or feeling negative, I tend to starve myself. It’s when I’m happy and life is good that I tend to overeat. I choose bad foods when I’m socializing with my friends, which usually means I’m drinking or out to dinner. Being in the honeymoon phase of a relationship also gets me feeling unusually hungry. I sometimes eat out of boredom, don’t get me wrong. But I am the opposite of most women I know who eat when they’re down.

  50. Excellent Facetime! I really like your tactics to avoid emotional eating, and I’m gonna try them!! 🙂

    Sometimes if I’m feeling stressed and want to eat (but I’m not hungry), I pause for a split second and tell myself, “You’re not hungry. Save the treat for when you ARE hungry.” Then I make myself walk away from the food and try to busy myself with something else. This doesn’t always work, but I’m trying to be more mindful of my eating habits/behaviors. Sometimes just be more mindful in and of itself helps.

    You are sooo right about it “takes time!” I think many of us want instant gratification. There are those diets out there promising quick weight loss and a hot bod in a few weeks. That’s not realistic, in my opinion. I think it’s really hard, but it’s also essential to allow ourselves time to adopt new and healthy behaviors, especially in the challenging area of emotional eating!

    Great post!

  51. You know what I’ve learned about the emotional eating? That if I tell myself consciously, “You can eat that if you want. It’s not ‘bad.’ You’re a grown person and you can make grown-up decisions about what you put in your body, including that ice cream you’re eyeing right now,” that 9 times out of 10, I don’t even want it anymore. I find the other part of myself going, “Really? I can have this tomorrow? For breakfast, even? Really?? Well. Then maybe I don’t really care about eating it right now.”

    And the 10th time, when I really want it, I just eat it. And it really does help.
    (And I don’t think I’ve ever actually needed to eat it for breakfast the next morning, either, LOL.)

  52. I can’t even begin to fathon how much emotional eating/non-eating I’ve been guilty of (aha – guilt – another pointless emotion!!) over the past decade-and-a-half. It actually makes me really sad to think about it. I know breakfast is the one meal where there’s no negativity or emotion involved…I LOVE fruit, oatmeal, eggs, cereal, whatever, and eat because it’s good and my body needs it. Emotion comes into play when dessert rolls around, or if I’m PMSing and stressed and will actually say out loud, “I’m stressing out so badly. I’m eating this Cadbury Egg.” So I’m aware of it…but likely don’t stop. I just eat the chocolate, feel better (for the time) and move on. The only trick that comes close to working is asking my husband to help me not eat after, say, 9pm because all that sugar mucks up my sleep.

  53. “Decadent List” I like the sound of this one…On a different note, I looked at your biceps and I looked at mine and I started crying (this is after I flexed my biceps)

  54. You’ve said the things that work for me – feeling the emotions, asking myself why I feel that way, and what I can do about it. Also, going for a walk was a big one – keeps me away from food, allows the cravings to pass, AND helped me to focus on how my body feels. If I walked after giving in to cravings, walking felt bad – really, really bad.

    In the long run, as exercise came to be a self-loving habit, I was able to become really in tune with how my body felt all the time, which really prevents me from overeating.

  55. First- I SO roll wit the wet hair all. the. time. I love air drying.

    Second- The decadence list is great. I can certainly place shopping ALONE, taking a walk ALONE, and blogging ALONE in peace and quite all at the top of my list. Just thinking about them makes me smile 🙂

  56. Thanks for sharing your insight on emotional eating. I have had a HUGE problem with it over the past 2 years. It’s finally a bit more under control, but i still have a hard time with it- like the past couple of days.

    Reading everyone’s insight’s is going to help even more. For me it’s more convincing than reading an (impersonal) article on the net.

    I especially like MizFit’s decadence list… because (like she said) when you eat for emotional reasons you’re never satisfied- but doing something like going for a bike ride or painting my nails makes me feel accomplished and powerful- enough to conquer my situation.

  57. This is my meditation for today. Thank you.

    Think I’ll step out for a quick foot stomping session….just to clear my head.

  58. A decadence list – what an amazing concept! I need to make one.

    I too have used the trick of telling myself that I certainly can have the chunk o’ junk…. but then I try to remind myself that I am consciously choosing not to have it… not because I don’t deserve it (hell, yeah I deserve it, of course I do!)… but because I also deserve to have a strong and healthy body. (And it sometimes actually works, even more lately as I build the habit up.)

    My biggest success though has been a food journal. Not necessarily “4.13 oz of xyz”, but more just a list of the food names – if I see junk more than once a day, it’s time to remind myself of my goals, which are written on a little card and kept in my wallet.

  60. OMG I LOVE LOVE LOVE grocery shopping alone and it IS a decadence!!!

    But I like having the toddler around too. :~)

    LOVE the video.

    Linking to you today. Stay tuned.

  61. Great suggestions!!! I totally agree with shifting your focus from dieting and weight loss to increased fitness and health. That is something I am struggling to do, but am going to work harder at it!

  62. i told you i’d be back, it just took me a couple days!

    i LOOOOOVE your idea of a decadence list! i’m so going to make one and carry it around with me. i also like the idea of going outside and screaming my head off. thanks for the tips!!

  63. This was an awesome post! I really enjoyed it a lot and could really relate. I love the decadence list idea… I will be doing that for sure. But I think you hit the nail on the head with actually allowing yourself to feel your emotions rather than just covering them up with food.

    Even just last night I was driving home from a meeting I had and something wasn’t sitting right. I found myself thinking about ice cream. Then I felt myself just feeling very uncomfortable. So I started talking out loud to myself and asking, “What am I feeling? Why am I feeling this way?” I literally spoke out loud the events that happened during the meeting, evaluated what could be the root of the feelings, and then I was able to figure out what was wrong. I was disappointed in something I had said during the meeting and in the reaction I got. Only after figuring this out though, was I able to just feel it and get over it. But blindly covering the emotions up with food would have solved nothing and created more problems.

    These types of moments are breakthroughs for me and your video just described the whole process so eloquently. Thanks so much for discussing this.

  64. I’ve been an emotional eater for a long time, and it’s only in the last couple of years when I started down a long weight loss journey (I lost 135-ish pounds and so far maintained it) that I’ve been able to see the patterns of how I ate and take the steps necessary to overcome it. The decadence list is a great idea! It can help us get over that moment of saying that we “deserve” a special food treat – of course we deserve to eat, we always deserve to eat, but that’s not really the question. The right questions are: Am I hungry? If yes, what food will be most satisfying? One of the hardest things for me in learning how to interrupt the food/hand/mouth continuum was finding that fleeting moment of thought and pausing to hear what was going on in my head. Discovering what hunger feels like on the physical level vs. what emotional hunger feels like was a real eye opener. Unless you really are starving (which I certainly was not), a little physical hunger isn’t so bad, and not an emergency. Emotional hunger is what makes it feel like a 911, and here is where the real hard work is. Along the way, I’ve been teaching myself to become comfortable with even the hairiest emotions. Not saying it’s easy, of course.

    One other thing that comes to mind here in overcoming emotional eating is that depriving ourselves of something we really want to eat, when we are hungry, isn’t all that helpful and just makes us crave more. It’s a balancing act, for sure, but the outcome is so worth it!

  65. Thanks for posting the link to this…I love the idea of a decadence list.

    Most of the time when I’m stressed, not having the trigger foods in the house doesn’t help, because I’m not AT home – I’m at work. And in the middle of the afternoon, I can’t take off for a run, or a bath, or to read a book – so I think I might need two lists –

    one that I keep in my office – ways to de-stress quickly w/o hitting the vending machine at work and one for home-life. I’m not sure if promising myself a manicure later will get me through the stress like I seem to believe nachos will (instant gratification wins every time)….definitely thought-provoking though.

    Again – thank you.

  66. and I am SO WITH YOU AMY.

    it is hard as the Sprees & SUGARS (my thing) are far more alluring at times than “you get a new book!” or even my too expensive tried and true “NEW NIKES!”

    it has taken me a few hits and MISSES to finally (usually :)) get the list to work.

    M.

  67. Thank you for your post! I too love the idea of a decadence list.

    I bring a limited number of snacks to work every day…things like carrots, laughing cow light cheese, diet hot chocolate, celery, etc. My bringing these items in limited quantities I can’t over eat and even if I do eat everything, I have already portioned out my calories.
    Now, when I am at home, that is another story. I try real hard to not have tempting foods around. But even so, there are times, like Sunday night, when my favorite yummy carrot cake with cream cheese frosting calls my name and I go to the store and buy it. My husband and I have now made a pack that no matter how much I crave it, I can’t have it unless it is in celebration for running races (half marathons).

  68. Good insight, Miz. We’ve always said that using food as a coping tool is fine. The problem is when it’s our only coping tool. That way, we get away from the idea that we’re doing something wrong when we decide to emotionally eat. . You’re so right about needing the awareness to give ourselves a chance to make decision in the first place whether we’ll turn to food or not, instead of it being an automatic behavior (habit). We encourage a decadence list, too, to help us change our habits; we call it the Green Mountain cookie jar. Great minds….:)

  69. Wonderful! For me, MizFit, what you’re talking about is doing everything possible to achieve sanity. Not always an easy thing for an emotional overeater, but it’s where we’re all striving to be, I think. Getting rid of the sugar is such an important first step to clearing the mind and getting the body healthy.

    Your decadence list is a great idea because it forces us to look within and decide what’s really important at that moment. Seriously, just how important is that Snickers bar in my life right now? Not as important as emotional healing. Not even close.

    My decadence list would include taking time and doing things that are just for me and no one else, and not feeling even a tiny bit guilty about it. Wow…that’s tough to do.

    Women are raised to cater to everyone else’s needs before our own, so putting ourselves first can be difficult. But once we truly understand the importance of nurturing ourselves in ways that don’t include food, a whole new world opens up to us.

    Recently discovered your blog, MizFit and I really enjoy it! I’ve included your link on my blog’s sidebar. 🙂

    –Susan

  70. So many amazing comments. Miz you surely get the best out of all of us.

    I have to agree with Marste “letting” yourself eat what ever you want really takes the way the appeal of an indulgent naughty treat, and Gena, we have a similar situation in our house. People think the Boyf is a Nazi because he hides the chocolate from me, but it totally works. One block of chocolate will actually last us ages and I end up enjoying it so much more.

  71. I just blogged about my newest technique on Monday and its really helping. (Slaying the binge monster)

    I keep a notebook and when I get a craving or urge to binge I write the food on a page of the notebook and write down all memories associated with that food and list what was going on prior to feeling the craving to identify whats behind it. If I still want to eat the food after I give myself permission to eat it guilt free but only one portion. If I want another portion I have to serve myself another portion, no eating from the bag, jar or container. One portion on a plate at a time.

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