Monday Facetime. MUSTurbation: it’s time to S-T-O-P.

by

(yeah, I know my Bumbling Band. I *knew* that would git your attention.)

And, if I can get your attention BACK for a moment (wink), get out your day planners & MARK YOUR CALENDARS.

Wednesday? We are getting a little OPRAH’esque up in herre.

It’s not *quite* the “Everybody gets a car!!!” moment from her season opener years ago—–but it’s our smaller, fitnessier version.

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Comments

  1. Ah, great advice. Easier said than done, alas, but it’s worth trying to catch ourselves when we get all bossy and punitive and unreasonable with ourselves.

    (As an aside, did you ever watch any of those Albert Ellis videos where he works with clients? He was actually quite an assh*le! I do appreciate some of his contributions to cognitive psychology, but he was exactly the sort of bullying, berating kind of voice that I want to get OUT of my head).

  2. This is *just* what I was dealing with today w/my run! You = Queen of Appropriate Posting.

    I could have gone on, but I could feel in my legs that I had better ont. You’re so right — sometimes our “musts” are detrimental. This also relates to your posts on redesigning our goals, of course.

    It was so scary, though, to not have my “must” to hold onto, to redesign my running schedule to reach long-term goals/optimal outcomes. I was standing in the middle of the path, thinking about how running fits sustainably into my life, for about five minutes. Of course I’ll give my longer run a go again tomorrow, but it was good I think to revisit my “musts” (of sorts), as frightening as it was to do so.

  3. crabby? I DID. Crazy huh? have you read this magazine article on him CLICK HERE.

    he was one amazingly bright man (IMO) and amazingLY crazy.
    (R.E.T. creators! They’re just like us!)

    and I totally agree Amanda about the scariness of letting go of the MUSTS.

    the whole video made me think of the ‘pain we know sometimes being better than the pain (and possible FREEDOM!) we dont…’

    babysteps, though.

    even pondering the mustshoulds is a step in the right/new direction.

    M.

  5. and Im thinking GOALS, Andrew, and also the toodtrictframework we can live in.

    I MUST WORKOUT and HOUR A DAY or IM WORTHLESS.

    the things we tell ourselves we ‘should’ do and yet subconsciously RESENT & rebel.

  6. My brain is always racked with the things I must do. I do often times feel like a workout is worthless if I didn’t go at it for an hour or that I didn’t burn 600 calories. Thanks for the reminder that this often triggers rebellion (sittin on my behind) instead.

  7. Great advice. It’s easy to get caught up in what we “must” do. And getting derailed sets us up for failure. Failure because we’ve not met our “must”.
    This is a good one for fitness. It’s easy to have a bad day in your fitness life (well, in mine at least). But that doesn’t mean I can’t still succeed at my fitness goals.
    Example: I’ve been biking to work. I’ve been trying to do this 3-4 days a week. Except when I don’t, because of bad weather, a need to run errands after work, or because I overslept. I have been letting this really bug me. No more. I’ll ride when I can, and that will be good enough.
    So, a big THANK YOU MizFit! This IS what I needed to hear.
    It amazes me sometimes the timing of things. I read what I needed to hear here today. Just before I get in my car and go to work (because I have some errands to run tonight).

  8. Love, love, love this! A big turning point for me was *finally* getting the concept of focusing on ‘better’ rather than ‘best’, and this meshes nicely with it. We have to give ourselves room to live.

  9. We have to give ourselves room to live.


    Cammy I love how you phrased that.
    IMO there’s NEVER room to simply be or LIVE when musts rule the way we think….

    M.

  10. Very excellent point, Mizfit. My to-do list is about a mile long and gets longer everyday. I think I need to spend some time pondering this idea.

  11. Yes, I know, I know. Actually I do believe I’ve stopped musterbating when it comes to my own life, but I haven’t let go of that phrase you used as an example, “must go potty,” to my kids. Because, let’s see, there was that accident in the middle of Barnes & Noble and just recently at Stride Rite, or inevitably when you’re out and about with only a “yucky” port-a-potty and there you are lifting one kid up over the hole, while balancing on one leg so you can prop the door open with the other leg for air and to make sure no one takes off with the other two kids. I just hate it. So you must go potty. But you’re right. It never works.

  12. I must admit…I didn’t have my glasses on when I first saw your little sign and wondered “what the heck?!”

    But what great advice! I never really thought about the fact that I would inadvertantly rebel at all the “musts” I’ve placed in my life.

  13. Ah! Love this post. I do not do the “must” with exercise but I def do it with my to-do list (as in if I must finish everything on my to-do list every day or I am a failure). I am working on it and trying to celebrate all of the things I accomplish (even if its not EVERY little thing I have to do….which is an especially crazy list when you’re trying to sell your house, start a new job, move, and continue to teach group fitness classes-thank goodness I don’t have kids yet haha). Thanks for the facetime and I can’t wait for Oprah day 😉

  14. This post really resonates with me. I just spilled my guts blog-style about how I gave up a big must – I must be perfect. Now I know, I must be content with me. : )

    Thanks, you rocked my rainy Monday.

    – Heather

  15. I know I said this all this weekend but it’s my blog (collective sigh. I know.) so Im sayin’ it again:

    —-
    fast.
    abrupt.
    topic change.
    (thanks to Meribeth for alerting me to this & it has been on my mind ever since)

    Im so sad about Bernie Mac passing away.
    If he led his life at all as his public persona would have us believe (taking in his sister’s children when she couldnt care for them/raising them as his own) his was a life we should all admire.

    and the comedy? LOVE.

    I know Im getting all kinds of thumb typed serious on your collective asses but 50 is far too young.

    hug your loved ones.
    take that vay cay and EMBRACE every moment.
    live for today and tell those whom you BELIEVE IN that you KNOW THEY CAN DO IT!

    I read a quote of Bernie Mac’s this morning about his mom which stuck with me (butchered by my mama-memory):

    “Woman believed in me. She believed in me long before I believed in myself.”

    sure I wanna give that to my daughter, but I also started MizFit to give that to all of you.

    *we now return you to our regularly scheduled snark & humor*
    ——

    Life is too freakin short (RIP Isaac Hayes) to MUSTurbate to death (see? I got a little levity in there. MUSTurbate ourselves to death? no? oh. ok….)

    M.

  17. Oh, I do not escape the MUSTurbation. And, as soon as something becomes a MUST do, it turns into more of a chore than anything. I need to work on finding that balance where I still do those things but take away the MUST and find a little more pleasure in them, instead of just MUSTurbation.
    (Sorry, I had to)
    But it’s true though, when you MUST do something, you usually lose some of the enjoyment.
    As for my Air Rift… errr…. the tracking number says they’ll be here Tuesday… *avoiding eye contact*
    I MUST take a picture for you afterwards.

  18. Agreed! And I love that there’s an actual word for this, a snarky word at that. 🙂

    My MUSTS are always things I don’t want to do anyhow. If I enjoyed doing them they wouldn’t be musts. I find that “shoulds” aren’t too great either. Shoulds open the door for guilt…

  19. Weirdly. I’m ok with the “musts”; it’s the “shoulds” that I have a problem with. Whenever I say “should”, it’s almost always someone else’s idea of what I should do, not mine, and it’s almost always something that I deeply don’t want to do and that, on some level or another, I usually feel awful about.

  20. OMG, I think it just clicked for me!! this is so true. I think the “musts” are holding me back, making me feel like a failure before I even statrt!!

    As a side note, the er nurse in me wants so bad to stick a 16 gauge (trauma size) IV in your right upper arm. That vein is HUGE!! Sorry, but I am crazy like that!! lol

  21. I am really bad for the must do’s. I have a list and i must do it or it’s not good.
    However, i’m trying to go with the flow more these days 😉 Not always easy when you try to be as strict with yourself as i am. But it’s coming, slowly but surely!!


  23. I know, Alice. It’s sad but true that we cant lose all our MUSTS at once and you so MUST with the rifts as Im longing to know the *color*

    FBG? me too. the things I dont wanna do anyway.

    Nina? same with my shoulds…time to let em go, huh?

    Irish Mom? laughed at the vein remark. got a coffee IV?

    suzanne? baby steps. toss one mustORshould a week?

    and WG? UhOh. you many not want volume! it’s prolly more fun sans as you can choose your own narration (like choose your own ADVENTURE—-only talk’ier)

  24. Do you live in my head??? I’m all about the musts. But you are right. I must stop. It’s so hard to do tho – esp. when I measure my worth by external factors.

    Ooooh, wait. I think a light just went on. I will have to ponder on this one more.

    Thanks:)

    PS> LOVe the witty title. You crack me up

  26. I fight my perfectionist or musterbation tendencies as well.

    I am trying a more laid back approach to food, fitness, and yes, potty training, too.

    (So how did you get her to potty before you left, or did you?)

  27. I have a post on a related topic scheduled to go live tomorrow–very apropos! I’ll be sure to add a link to your post today.

    I’m all about trying to minimize my musts–I have so many, and it gets so exhausting and discouraging when I can’t keep up…

  29. I’m dying to know how you get the toddler to go to the potty without using the must word!!!!!

  30. 1- For the potty-battling friends among us. A friend suggested that I keep a potty in my car (or stroller, when we’re away from the car in port-a-potty territory).

    2-My most dangerous must right now is telling myself I MUST NOT CARE ABOUT MY WEIGHT. I must love my body as it is and not want to/hope to/try to lose weight. I must not weigh. I must not measure at all. Ever. And, like many of our “musts,” it’s all a great idea when I take away the “must” and make it a “can.” It’s been so beneficial to me to think “I can run today” instead of “I must run today.” So maybe I need to start thinking “I CAN love my body as it is.” I CAN not think about my weight today.

    Oh that’s lovely. Thanks, Mizfit.

  31. Miz? I “puffy heart” you! I had this EXACT same conversation with my toddler yesterday – like always, she won. When I finally backed off, five minutes later, she decided she had to “go”. sigh.

    Sadly, I’m the exact same way – when I tell myself I MUST do something – it’s ten times harder to do it. When I say I’d LIKE to do something, it’s a piece o’ cake.

    I totally get you on this – both on the toddler thing and the mental thing.

  32. Oh, this resonated with me today! I just told myself that I MUST have a hardcore few days to prepare to be in a wedding this weekend, and I’m already trying to get out of it!

    I MUST quiet my inner toddler!

  33. Robin? In keeping with the theme o’the week I ‘should’ say NO.

    That my MUSTurbating the toddler didn’t work…..but it did 😉

    When her arse was firmly, errr, lovingly placed on the potty she did, indeed, pee.

    xo xo TMI,

    Miz.

  34. I think the vast majority of psychologists/psychiatrists etc. are interested in psychology because of a need to understand their own freakin’ unbalanced minds. (Note: no offence intended to any psychologists, just my extremely biased opinion in my dealings with psych students in University. They were the craziest of the bunch, and I don’t mean in a party way. I mean in an actually crazy way)

    That said… why does it have to be Wednesday!? Oh no 🙁 I’m in Galway apartment hunting! The hostel I’m staying at has free wifi but I might not get online in time 🙁

  35. PS my potty technique?

    I offer her choices & it works every time.

    SHOULD MOMMY PEE FIRST OR TORNADO?

    Or

    WHICH POTTY SHOULD WE USE? You pick!! (When we’re out…)

    She’s a struggle some days—-but not so much with that.

  36. Great post, Miz. Have to, must, should — all bring out the inner rebel in the Bag Lady. (Okay, now I’m thinkin’ all James Dean-y, and totally lost my train of thought…..sorry)

  37. Great post! I MUST work out until I get arms that look like yours! hehe
    Actually I wish I had heeded this advice this past weekend – I felt that since it was soooo beautiful outside I MUST go out and run a million miles. *sigh*

  38. I’ve tried to get rid of musts and shoulds a few years ago when someone pointed out how much I say it. Now (for instance) with exercise I’ll say “I can/will do 30 minutes on the elliptical…anything else is a bonus IFF I feel like it.” That way I don’t feel obligated to spend a long amount of time, but I usually end up going more just becase. Tricking your mind totally works 🙂

  39. this is a great insight for me.
    my hubby just thinks i’m stubborn sometimes but now that i know of this musterbation concept i think that is more the issue. as soon as i MUST do something it starts to become a chore and i start to rally against it! need to start thinking about why i would want/like/love to do things instead of the rigidness of the must/should.

    i too am sadness by the passing of b mac. what a funny and caring man! 50 is way to young! and dying from pneumonia????? i thought that was only really serious if you were very young or very old!!

  40. I *love* facetime Monday!!

    Great advice because I am guilty of the musterbation (giggle, that word makes me laugh).

    I am going to loosen up and see if I get better results removing must and should from my to do list.

  41. I have really been working on this, since I tend toward the “all-or-none” camp. With running, if I can’t get out 5 days a week and do a certain number of miles, I feel guilty. I’m trying to listen to my body so that I don’t overdo it. Case in point, today: my body was tired and sore, and I felt drained, so I didn’t push it. No run this morning. I do feel a little bit guilty, but I think my body needed the rest this morning more than the miles. And I think my run tomorrow will be that much better because of it.

    (And heck, I might even do some strength training tonight after work).

    Thanks for this oh-so-timely post (as always).

  42. To get rid of:

    I must work out today or I will feel like a failure.
    I must be the best at ___ or I will feel like a failure.

    To keep:

    I must always read MizFit’s blog because she never makes me feel like a failure 🙂

  43. so very true…
    i always have a list in my mind of things i *must* do and instead of motivating me, it just frustrates me…
    one thing i noticed is that the days i tell myself i must eat perfectly (calories, perfect ratios of carbs, proteins and fats) are the days i do the worst. something inside of me totally wants to rebel and before ya know it, i’ve got the peanut butter jar and spoon in hand.
    thanks for another inspiring and thought-provoking post.
    <3, g

  44. This is a great post – There is a huge difference in my brain between must, should and want to – depending on what it is “must and should” actually can almost turn into procrastination more than anything or like a little kid rebellion.
    You have given us all a lot to think about as this post I think goes deeper and your words resinate with us all in one way or another that is for sure.

  45. Thanks Miz. That’s great advice that I really should take. I may post on this later if I have time, but I MUST watch the Olympics.

    Jenn

  46. Irish mom’s comment re: vein made me laugh. “Good veins” run in my family. I’ve gotten quizzed by concerned docs about whether I use drugs! (“No, doc, my drug is pumping iron.”)

    Ah, musturbation. Stupid musturbator:

    “You must do two sets of 15 reps of each of these exercises.”
    “You must run 5 miles. 4.9 miles and all your work was for nothing.”
    “You must constantly improve yourself. You must not have bad days.”
    And many more…

  47. Oh, I do this all the time. I riddle off a whole slew of musts the night before and then when morning comes, I rebel. I say, I’m not going to do that! Why should I? I have so much to do! There MUST be a better way. So then I spend the rest of the day figuring out what the other “MUST be a better way” to do blah, blah, blah.

    Great illustration and focus.

    Thank you.

  48. I know I can always count on Mizfit for an excellent post! I’ve slowly learned to apply the getting rid of the “musts” and the “shoulds” to other things in my life (in addition to fitness) and I’m finding I am much happier because of it.

    I love Bernie Mac as well and am very sad that he’s gone now (along with Isaac Hayes). How eerie that the two of them were working on a movie together!

  50. My biggest MUST? I must be perfect – or why even try? Not just in diet and fitness – in all areas. I battle that little voice every day that tells me I’ll never be good enough, so why bother.

    The biggest thing I’ve learned is to face the fear of being imperfect and do it any way. Sometimes I could puke from the fear, but it always turns out to be ok! LOL!

    PS – This is the first time I’ve seen a video of you. May I just say: you look FABULOUS!! 🙂

  51. The problem with the “must” is it is ALL about the completion of the process, the tick in the box, the cross off the list.

    It takes all the fun out of the actual journey itself. You forget to enjoy the ride if you’re so busy thinking about the fact that it just needed to be DONE and OVER.

    I loved Heather’s point about making the musts into cans when it’s something positive that we should try to do… “I CAN love my body as it is.” I CAN not think about my weight today.” I CAN start to think more like that too. 🙂

    TA x

  53. You were so right on time with the post today! Had a nagging MUST in the back of my mind! My main MUST is getting my arms half as fit as yours! Thanks for your post & the arm exercises!

  54. Right now that’s my biggest hurdle for staying fit. Feeling that if I’m not running 3-4 days a week, and getting in 60 minutes of exercise 6-7 days a week, there’s no point. I am trying to hard to stay fit on the little I’m allowed to do, but I feel so hopeless because I can’t exercise at the level I was at pre-injury.


  56. Reading (every single comment).

    Nodding (in agreement).

    Loving (that you guys take the time to type such thought out helpful responses).

  57. Good stuff, Ms. Fit. I know it, yet I often forget and need to be reminded.

    Starting out with the view that I MUST be perfect and not make any mistakes (eat the wrong thing, miss a workout, have my house be perfectly clean at all times…) just leaves me feeling overwhelmed. One step at a time is the way to go. If I tackle things in smaller chunks, I am always more productive. It is just so easy to forget.

    What I MUST do is take things one day at a time, so that I don’t make myself crazy.

  58. Wow – quite a timely topic for a lot of us.
    My MUSTS are on my blog all the time and the craziness that surrounds them.

    I will definately be thinking about this today (as I cross all the “musts” off my list – ha ha).

  59. One unfortunate but effective way of switching your thinking from ‘should’ to ‘can’ is to sustain an injury…how I wish I could even *think* about running every day right now! This week, I will focus on how badly I want to get to the physical therapist (rather than it being something I *must* do – I never thought about it, but you’re right! As soon as I tell myself ‘I must’ I automatically respond with ‘but I don’t WANNA!’ like a three-year-old)

  61. Another post, another chance for me to write, “Right on!”

    It’s not cool to let ourselves get all musty! I’m working on it. Thanks for the support as always!

  62. Well, my ‘must’ is “I MUST get off this computer and clean the damn house!”. And I really must. I should. As I’m sitting here typing and surfing, I constantly tell myself “I should. Right now.” Over and over!
    It only works when it starts to get a bit boring out here, which is just about NEVER. But, then, I have cats… and you can’t keep a house unkempt too long when they’re helping to hair it up.
    On another note, I only set realistic goals for myself. However, my bar is always placed pretty high. My Mom claims it’s a “Virgoism”. Whatever! 🙂

  63. *snicker*giggle*snort

    Sorry, I’m still trying to get past the intro.

    I must take life less seriously!

  64. I enjoy ‘Face Time Monday’. I feel like you’re here, talking to me.

    If I add this idea of paying attention to musterbation and shouldingallovermyself, that will add to the list of musts and shoulds that I already have a list of and I may not get to them.
    I rarely say MUST. I like to say MAY. And on that note, I *may* do this.

  65. I was talking to a dear friend this morning and he’s someone who puts ridiculous amounts of pressure on himself and he told me that today when he woke up at 6am, it being his first day off in 9 days, he was about to get out of bed and start his day, and his list of things to do, when he decided “it can wait” and rolled over back to sleep for another couple of hours.

    I was so proud of him, as I’m someone who becomes similarly anxious when it comes to everything that MUST be done. And so, tonight, when I was going to vacuum and change my bed sheets, I’ve decided it can wait, and instead I’m catching up on my blogs with a bowl of earl grey…and the world keeps turning.

  66. I find that the MUSTS tend to add up and some of them probably aren’t as important as I make them out to be. I thought that I MUST go for a run tonight, but I hardly slept last night and I am coaching for 2hours so maybe I could delay that MUST for tomorrow.

  67. Very much appreciate this advice- a lot of the time when I don’t achieve something I originally thought simply must be done, it doesn’t actually end up being the end of the world. Who knew!

    Sometimes its good to let go of the musts and the shoulds.

  68. Amen…I do tend to rebel against being told what to do…even when I’m the one doing the telling. I hate, hate, hate DEMANDS being made upon me, even by me. It’s enough to make me NOT want to do the “must”, ever.

    I’ve always leaned toward holding on to the musts, but just making them more reasonable musts. The idea of letting go of them completely is, I will admit, very scary. Accepting that it’s totally okay if I don’t stay with the schedule and the world is not over if I slack off a bit…hmm…that’s an interesting concept.

    V.

  69. How excited was I when I signed on to my computer today and remembered I got Monday facetime! And titled Musterbation. May be one of the few things that has cheered me up today.

    (And I am a TERRIBLE Must’er) I will have to think about some of the ‘musts’ that I will try to shake this week. I am assuming “I must brush my teeth” isn’t one I should get rid of? 🙂

    sweets&sweats

  70. POD? (whom I LUV) this:

    I enjoy ‘Face Time Monday’. I feel like you’re here, talking to me.

    So.My.Goal.

    so thanks for that.

    M.

  71. Talked today some about my tendency to live black/white. Either all or nothing. This path means never that path.

    The musts/shoulds/aughts fill right in there, and I need to kick them to the curb.

    For this week: I will do what work I can and be satisfied with what I accomplish.

  72. I have a hard time sticking to something if I don’t STICK TO IT. Once I start making exceptions, it tends to all go to hell. I suppose the key is to get to the point where you enjoy your “musts” so that they don’t have to happen 100% of the time for you to meet your goals, but I don’t think I’m there yet, and I do have short-term goals to hit before I look down the road 5 years or something. For now, my “musts” seem to be working for me, but I see this working out in a couple months. Nice post!

  73. Your title nearly gave me a heart attack.

    I have learned to let go of many “musts”:
    Must eat clean all the time

    Must exercise 5 days per week (I’m down t 3 because this is a schedule I can stick with)

    Must blog every day (ha, can’t do it. I don’t know how you can keep up!)

    Must keep the house tidy at all times

    There’s more. 🙂

  74. LOVE the message! ‘Ties in with one of my favorite suggestions from the book “Good to Great.” Everybody seems to have a “To Do” list; but to help set boundaries and focus on our core missions, why not create a “Stop Doing” list?! (Seems like it would be a great place to stick a lot of those cumbersome musts and shoulds!)…… So what’s on your “Stop Doing” list?

  75. Love this idea. And as you say it’s one of the important foundations of modern psychology – particularly with CBT, there’s the underlying assumption, then the when we fail there’s the automatic emotional response like “I am a crappy bumwipe” etc etc. Letting go of those assumptions IS a big deal, but everyone is right re: baby steps being the way to go.
    This week I will stop think I must be happy 100% of the time!

    Looking forward to Wednesday now too btw, you’ve invoked in me the screaming shrill Oprah audience member who’s always wanted to come out!

  76. This is something I’ve been working on myself. I’ve always had an urge to do the exact opposite when told I must do something, yet I frequently give myself bossy (and unrealistic) commands. I’ve finished it now, but when I was writing my novel, I was always creating ‘musts’ and ‘shoulds’ for myself. And by the way, like someone above, I have more of an issue with ‘should’ personally. When I stopped and thought about it, I realised that I was just creating a vicious cycle for myself. ‘I should make myself write in the evening after dinner’ turned into ‘sitting in front of the computer grudgingly writing the odd word but mostly delaying writing by playing on the internet’, which turned into ‘feeling guilty, crabby, frustrated, and blaming lack of time for not having written anything and it’s now bedtime and I’ve wasted another evening.’ When I analysed this, I wondered why MUST I write in the evening? It’s not naturally my most creative time, I did have two days a week when my daughter was at childcare so I could write, and although it would speed up my progress if I could also write in the evenings, that just wasn’t happening. All I was doing was, instead of spending my evenings recharging and relaxing, I was spending them alone at my computer mentally beating myself up. What was I acheiving apart from unhappiness? Afterall, I have a toddler to look after and I’m on my own with her for three days a week, so on those days of course I was going to be tired in the evening and frankly, I deserved a break.

    There are lots of Musts and Shoulds I give myself that, on consideration, are very unchievable and just set myself up to ‘fail’. After seeing the facetime clip and reading the comments above, I’ve decided that I’m going to work on my internal voice and change ‘I must, I should’ to ‘It would be great if I could do this, but it’s absolutely fine if I don’t’. Yeah, it’s wordier, but then hey, that’s me. 🙂

  77. Musterbation. Hahahaha heeheehee! I promise I’m a grown-up.

    I’ve found the times when I feel I have to look good for an event (a wedding, dinner with old friends, a party), I put so much pressure on myself. I MUST eat well 4 weeks before this wedding! I MUST workout 6 days a week before seeing my ex-boyfriend at this party! THOSE are the times that I am doomed to fail. And THOSE are the times you’ll find my head down in a bowl of cookie dough. 🙂

    Thanks for reminding us, again, to not beat ourselves up for not being so perfect.

  78. Wow! I don’t know how I missed this post yesterday! I love musterbating & shoulding on myself ;0
    I’m trying in baby steps to overcome this mindset. I haven’t given up so it MUST be working. No wonder alot of us are exhausted at the end of the day…it’s alot of work living up to these impossible standards we have for ourselves.
    I love the Facetime vids, Carla!

  79. I find running is something I want to do. I don’t have any musts about diet and exercise. I do try to eat when I’m hungry and not eat when I’m not, but that doesn’t always happen. The only musts that I often have with running is that I must take today off when I’m feeling really tired, but lots of days I run anyway and end up taking a day off later.

  80. ok, I just watched it. And yes, it can be very choose-your-own-adventure to do it in silence but I’m glad I watched with volume. I’m a major MUST-er and lately have been trying to listen to my body…even if I MUST work on a story or MUST workout, if I’m achy or tired, I have been easier on myself and can take a day off much more easily than I used to. Yay for baby steps!

  81. Oh, MizFit…I’m a longtime Musturbator (and no, I can’t say that without giggling). It’s a tough habit to break.

    This year, I’m going to focus on freeing up some time for myself by expecting my children (who are now perfectly capable) to do the little chores they can easily do for themselves.

    Already I feel guilty…

  82. The danger for me has always been in defining myself by what I do, rather than by who I am. I am a triathlete. I am a pianist. I am I am a personal trainer. No. Those are things that I do, not who I am. Of course, all of those things are true; but none of them tells the whole story.

    It took me several years (and a complete break with my former religion) to start to get to the point where I could see myself as more than the sum of my parts.

  83. really cool video and post. something MUST be wrong with me because I never say I MUST do anything, I always say I have to, but I guess that’s the same thing, yes?

    I am learning to drop or let go of things things I think I have to do, like being totally organized.

    I need to go exercise.

  85. That is MOST EXCELLENT! I love it. It’s also very refreshing to hear a fitness badass like yourself say that it’s okay to stop saying “MUST.”

    I told myself that I MUST run tonight, and I should have just listened to my body — it was telling me to stay home. My calves were still sore from a leg workout a few days ago, plus running last night. I couldn’t seem to breathe properly, so I kept having to pause to get a deep breath before I could go on. That’s what I get for trying to force it.

    Next time I MUST listen to my body!

  86. Damn Girl!!! It is like you read my mind and then make these things say what I really need to hear. Love it.

    I’m trying something different now… trying to get a handle on how to focus on moderation, consistency and common sense and in a way these goals are so much more elusive than following MUSTs which tend to be cleaner and appear more simple and perfect on the surface. My definition of perfect is always rigid but I know that rigid isn’t perfect for me so how to deal with THAT little nugget LOL.

  87. just catching up on a few weeks of Monday Facetime since I normally read your blog at work and obv can’t do videos there… REALLY loved this one. Rings true for a reforming All Or Nothing lass 🙂

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