Facetime Flashbacks: MUSTurbation and emotional eating.

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MUSTurbation: working to shed those shoulds & oughts.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsYHZFsLuiA

Emotional eating: using a decadence list as a deterrent.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zk2hTHXz2Dg

(yes. that was a good morning for the Miz. her hair IS still wet from the shower because she owneth no hair dryer.)

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Comments

  1. I think I’m going to make up some sticky notes and post them in places to greet myself with fun, positive messages.

    On the fridge, “Don’t bite angry. Have an instant manicure” and keep my manicure scrub by the kitchen sink.

    In my cookie cupboard, “No need to crumble” with a little jigsaw puzzle in a baggie to piece together to get my hands and mind occupied elsewhere.

    In the pantry, “Opening that can of frosting could be opening a can of worms. Wiggle on over to the couch to meditate on that.”

    On my nightstand, “Hungry for a good read?” alongside a good book like Eat Cake which MizFit recommended.

    BTW MizFit, you’ve given me “arm envy”

  3. Both of those videos struck a chord with me! The emotional eating especially. Lately I have been naming that feeling with my son. Something that I was never taught as a child, how to display my anger. As I work with my son on using his words when he’s angry, I find that I have to do the same thing. Now when I get angry or frustrated I use MY words too! You should hear on conversations! 🙂 It has helped with some of my anger eating!

  4. Oh and the “must’s” DO absolutely fill me with rebellion. That’s where I’ve been the last 3 months. Rebelling against it ALL! As in “I MUST cut out all sugar”, turned in to shoving as much sugar as I could into my pie hole!

  6. I have many many MUSTS especially over the holidays when I’m trying to lose weight.
    even though I know it is harder to lose now and I should (ha ha) just try to maintain.

  8. I’m working on letting myself “feel emotions” instead of feeding them to stuff them down. It hit me at therapy when I wanted to cry but sucked it back in that my role models growing up, especially the maternal unit, did that often and still do…no emotions! Until it would come to an explosive boiling point that is. So now I’m working on letting go and feeling and dealing instead of feeding. It’s scary. Was easier to feed the anger, hurt, anxiety. But I’m working on it.

  9. and I always DO everything I recommend….from food to facetimes but this time?

    I can give you specifics.

    Last week.

    Tuesday.

    2p.

    Yanked out the Decadance List from my diaper bag.

  10. Haha, my hubby was giving me a “must” lecture yesterday as I agonized for the umpteenth time this month about how I MUST get the Christmas cards done! (And I finally DID get them done. So, I’m a little late; I wished everyone a happy Groundhog Day.)

  11. Great flashbacks! Repetition is good, especially since it takes a few times for things to sink into my thick skull.

    I’m the queen of “needs” and “shoulds” (not necessarily “musts”, but it’s just semantics). And of course I rebel when they rear their head. In some cases, I try to turn it into a “want” so that it’s my choice to do it. For example, I “want” to do a long run today so that I am prepared for my upcoming race. I “want” to choose healthier foods so that my body is fueled and I have energy instead of feeling lethargic.

    About the decadence list, that’s a tough one for me. I tend to eat when I’m bored or stressed, so I really need to get to work on that list.

    Thanks again for a gentle nudge in the healthy direction on this Monday morning, back to the grind. = )

  12. Wow. Talk about a two by four against my head. Musturbation. Rebellion. I DO that with exercise! Now that I haven’t worked out since Wednesday (took a deliberate 2 days off for the holiday and then WHAM! 24-hour stomach bug which is now in hour 57), I really need to think about the almost frantic thread of thought that keeps going through my mind, “Oh my god I HAVE to work out! Must! Must!” Only I can’t right now. Hmmm…

    And you don’t own a hair dryer? Now I definitely want to be you when I grow up.

  13. you SO do, Lynn. it is very cool to be me as, in my own mind, no one else owns a hair dryer either nor make up or gets their collective arses out of workoutwear (which, in my world, is simply WEAR) ever.

    and then I exit the domicile and see Im sorely mistaken—and hightailitbackinside.

  14. I think Oprah could really use these videos. Get your butt on her couch ASAP!

    Also, put those guns away Mizzy before you hurt someone!

    (See what I did there–called you Mizzy–bet ya hate that.)

    *The Fig wanders off to contemplate a decadence list–fears it will be really geeky and include things like sci-fi novels and crossword puzzles.*

  15. It’s early for me to be on here. I don’t go to work this week (at all I think) due to two vacay days and holidays. I have to say that dragonmama made me laugh at her Happy Groundhog day and NB had me amused at her piehole comment.
    I went through a period of time this past year where I had a hair dryer and no hair. In fact, at that time I had two hair dryers. Now down to one. (There was a burglery.)

    I have been mulling over musts and shoulds and beating myself up lately. I hope it stops before I die. That is my goal. Now I can’t croak until I’ve stopped beating myself up. At this rate I will be immortal. Yay but not yay.

    Loved having your msg to wake up to this morning and actually having enough satelite speed to hear and view.

  16. Miz – how is it you know exactly what I need to hear WHEN I need to hear it?

    Decadence list – the grocery store thing is BIG for me – taking 3 kids to the store is just asking for a meltdown (me melting down, not the kids – okay well sometimes we all meltdown!). Am making my own list pronto!!

  17. I love the slow mornings here as I am finally not late to the party.

    I am late to learning not to beat myself up (I am so very like POD’s comment above me here) and needed this reminder so I am ready for 2009.

    Celeste

  18. I am totally guilty of MUSTurbation. Guilt-riddled when I am not able to fulfill daily activities like gym-time or health conscious eating. I try to stay positive and make sure that the time I am spending doing other things is well worth the trade off, which, again sometimes adds to my guilt, but it keeps me positive and going. My internal dialogue turns to, “Well I am not going to the gym today because I don’t feel well and rest today means I can get a good workout in tomorrow.” Rather than, “I have to go to the gym otherwise I will ruin my routine, I can’t let myself get weak otherwise I will continue to get sick.” etc.

  19. I love facetime with the Miz! Thanks for reposting these as a nudge to keep these reminders front & center.
    I’m getting better at musts…if I skip a workout I’m not being TOO hard on myself. The perfectionist eating can still be troublesome, although eating clean has helped me to overcome alot of cravings. Giving in to the treats would really send me to bingeland so not having as many helps in that dept. I believe in aiming high but I have to remember it’s ok to hit a lower target sometimes.
    I don’t know how to eloquently say this but I’ll try….
    My emotions have drastically evened out since I eliminated (most) processed foods & sugar from my diet.
    I’m not on the rollercoaster ride anymore. I’m more even steven lately. I’ve had a few emotional upsets ~ health scares, friend drama etc. but DIDN’T take it out on a bag of cookies. Didn’t even think about doing that. I believe my body chemistry has changed…I think my brain chemicals have reacted positively to my new eating lifestyle. Do you think there’s a chance this could be true? That eating cleaner can help emotions? I’m beginning to think so.
    Thanks, MizFit, for sharing You.

  20. Your musterbation concept (or Albert Ellis’ – whatever!) is me to a T. Can you please crawl inside my head and live there?? Seriously I must myself all the time – or as my sister says, I should all over myself – and half the time I don’t even realize I”m doing it. So today my goal is to recognize it!

  22. awesome vids.

    now I need to decide if my girlfriend will kill me if I double check to be sure she came here today.

  23. Great video reminders on “musts” and emotional eating. (And I do love the thought of you and the Tornado going outside and yelling in your Outside Voices). More fun than a cookie!

  24. I also own no hair dryer 😀 Good stuff, Miz.

    Natalia, I also was taught not to discuss “unpleasantness” so when I had kids, it was a learning experience for us all to use our words! We practice “how do you feel? what do you need?” all the time! They are pretty good at it now. Now, I learn from them sometimes!

  25. This is a terrific thing to think about Miz… I have never thought of things this way. Now I am going to examine what my musts are during the week and report back on them in my big Friday post. Thanks for the inspiration!

  26. IT DID FREEZE AND I ALMOST DIED BECAUSE I AM NOT AN ICE SKATER!

    Here is to my most exciting gym trip ever… I never thought I would revel in the glory of the smell of sweaty feet and look forward to seeing the muscle heads oogling at themselves in the mirror… when snow shoveling is the only option and I can’t get to the gym because of 53 inches of snow… well- AMEN TO THE GYM!

    The guilt part of my life centers around eating specifically. It has a terrible snowball effect too- once I start getting crazy it is easier to keep getting worse (one dorito= 3 servings of doritos= pizza= pizza the next day). I feel a lot of times like giving myself a break is no good! Anyway. Eating for boredom, tiredness and impatience seem to be my biggest triggers… Great thoughts for the day.

  27. MUSTerbation…. omg MizFit… I just quickly was scanning at the office and thought… MY GAWD>>> a topic that I can finally really relate to! Then I read more carefully!

    HAHA

    🙂

    I’ll have to watch these at home tonight!
    Cheers
    Tamzin

  28. I really like both of these ideas. The ‘must’ thing that really hit me was a quilt I have on my design wall. This is a quilt that I think is important, makes the time I take quilting ‘worthy’ and I tell myself I ‘must’ finish this quilt. But there it sits on the design wall for 9 months, with little progress, until I am sick of looking at it. No more must…I am giving myself permission to take it off the design wall and put it away for another day!

    And the decadence list–I love this idea. Because sometimes I am good at thinking of what I would like to treat myself with, but in the moment of stress, usually at work, nothing comes to mind but food! So to have the list all ready, that is a great idea! I’m off to make my decadence list. Fortunately for me, grocery shopping alone does not need to be on the list. It just is.

  29. These are two of my favorite face times- thanks for the re-post. Such good ones for this week!

    I am totally going to make a new decadence list for 2009 today and start today ’cause why wait until Thursday?

    Thanks for the push.

  30. Great Monday Facetime. Both videos made me think about some changes I want to make for 2009. All my “musts” usually center on diet and excercise. I definitely want to be more relaxed around these two areas of my life. If I do yoga one day instead of an intense cardio session, that is OK! If I eat cake for someone’s birthday, that too is OK! I’m working on it.

    As far as emotional eating goes, pedicures and grocery shopping are the top two activities on my decadence list. I’d much rather to either than get into the Ben & Jerry’s…well, unless it’s Cherry Garcia. I kind of lose control around Mr. Garcia 🙂

  31. Am hearing you on the rebellion! A good way to lose some of those musts is to instead convince yourself that they are wants. I’m all about tricking myself into doing things by getting myself to believe that its what I really want to do. And after a while I end up actually wanting to do it and its no longer a trick:)

    Can’t wait til my little cousins are old enough to talk. I’ll totally be dragging them outside to use outdoor voices hehe.

  32. lots of stuff to think about as I did not see these the first time you ran them (that is what you mean correct? about the flashbacks?).

    thank you Miz I was afriad 🙂 you were taking the week off!

  33. great stuff miz…

    ellidee LOVED your note ideas..good ideas and they made me smile!

    natalia…i am so there with you..i have two boys under 5 and it gets pretty crazy round here! causing me to shove all that sugar into my face!

  37. I really must compliment you on your facetime flashbacks – it’s good to have those reminders periodically!

    (*jumping up and down* I finished the dress!!!!!!!! Check out the picture on my blog.)

  38. d*mn BL. You drop that and I’m away from the computer with the mother in law.

    😉

    Can’t wait to see!

  39. *giggle* I like Musterbation. The term, I mean. It makes me laugh. 😀

    I’ve spent the last month or so really, REALLY working on not overextending myself. I have a tendency to set small goals, and then, in my enthusiasm, I more than meet them. Which is great until I’m not more-than-meeting them anymore, and at that point, EVEN THOUGH I’M STILL MEETING THE ORIGINAL GOAL, I feel like I’ve failed. *SIGH* I’m working on it.

  42. I, too, get rebellious with “musts.” I think that’s why I’m balking at the whole “holidays-are-done-must-make-resolutions-NOW” mentality. I understand where it comes from–especially in the health and wellness blogging world–but I feel like I finally got my holiday to-do list done. I want to feel like I can sit back and enjoy the twinkly lights a little more before launching forth into the new year.

    I have a feeling that the pressure of “must”/obsession boils down, like so many things, to fear. When I feel that “must” feeling in an anxious way–like I do sometimes when I skip a workout or don’t stick to my food plan just so–I realize it’s because I’m afraid that I’ll fall back into the old ways.

    I’m finding, though, that over time I’m learning to trust myself a bit more in these areas. For example, I chose to take last week “off” in the sense of choosing “activity” vs. specific workouts, in choosing to “eat to the blood glucose meter” only vs. writing down every morsel that went into my mouth. But this time, unlike others, I didn’t feel the same fear that I wouldn’t start up again on Monday when we got home from our trip. My run felt really good this morning! And maybe I didn’t feel the fear this time, because I had (but without thinking of it that way) reframed the “musts” as choices/desires, as several people mentioned here.

    The “decadence list” is a toughie. Food was always a relatively cheap and non-time-intensive way to feel “treated.” I’d have to say that reading is my item, as is listening to books on CD during my commute. I like this idea, though, and will give it some more careful thought.

    @Katschi: Your experience with cleaner eating happened for me, too: much less craving and emotional rollercoaster. For me, also, exercise helps also. I took last week off from my structured routine, as we were on vacation. We were active, but I wasn’t doing my usual workouts. I found that on Sunday, after sitting in the car all day, I felt moody. But I felt great after my run today.

  43. Hi MizFit: I’m adopting that word “Musturbation”. You’re absolutely right, the word “must” triggers a subconscious rebellion. It’s so much better to say “I get to exercise today” instead of “I must exercise today”.

  44. Love the decadence list concept. 🙂 Also love the term “musterbation” 🙂 Hahhaha. Your story with your daughter really resonated with me.. gonna think more deeply about my “musts” this week..

  45. I loved both videos especially the Musterbation one. I for one self sabotage myself the minute something goes on the “have to” list. Thanks for the reminders.

  46. The only thing I must do in life is die. Not to be negative but it’s the truth. It’s inevitable. Everyone dies eventually. Other than that the rest is a choice.

    There are times that I give up some of my freedoms to chose by other poor choices I make. When I think of my fitness and eating decisions as a conscious decision/choice then there is none of that guilt or confession attitude just an adult making choices and accepting consequence…good or bad =)

  47. it’s so true, “must” is an aweful word. but so is avoiding whatever you “should” be doing 🙂

    getting the focus off the food and just enjoy life… i’ll have to think about the decadence list. self love, that’s top priority right now!

    is that the toddler’s boot on the counter?

  48. Miz you hit this one this right on the head! Those must and shoulds are things that I need to think about. I feel a lot of times that I must be everything to everyone, and I know that is not possible, this year i hope to let go of a lot of things that I feel I should be doing, and ejoy this life for all that it has in it.

  49. Hope you love the recipe. I love these videos. Emotional eating is an area where I am just now beginning to feel at peace. I just finished the 100 Days Challenge based on a book by Linda Spangle in which she deals with emotional eating issues. Once I realized what I was doing (comforting myself) with food as a drug, I’ve been able to find other alternatives like, long baths, exercise, blogging, blogging, blogging, trying on new clothes. I’m even trying new recipes without the need to eat the entire dish after it is done. Food just doesn’t have the hold it had this time last year. Thanks for the visit.

  52. Great topic! Sorry, I’m behind the 8 ball this week.

    It is tough to change habits. I’ve had more success with some than others – my eating in the evenings is emotional.

    I’m trying to feed myself in other ways – interests and passions. I’ve been teaching myself acrylics. I’ve slacked off lately, but I find the creative and expressive outlet really therapeutic. It doesn’t matter if I’m ever good, just that I enjoy it. I got into astronomy this year. Besides my own telescope, I volunteer at an observatory. I love doing that soo much that I don’t care about a lot of the little crap in life as much.

    What unwinds and relaxes me most is exercise. Especially, my pilates yoga blend dvd. I can completely let my thoughts drift while doing this [sometimes so much that I lose track of what I’m doing]. This routine seems to center me and calm me in a way I’ve been seeking for a long, long time. Another is to play some favorite music and dance around like a crazy person.

    I find to relieve stress and anxiety, I need to do three things: 1) physically burn it off; 2) do something constructive that moves me away from that pit [make a plan – or tell myself it is only one moment in time of discomfort and it will soon go away] and 3) get my mind onto something else. I don’t know if any of this helps anyone else.

  53. Wow. I never even realized that musturbation thing. So true. I have a painting right now that I “must” finish this week, and that “must” is what’s keeping it from being completed. I love painting, but because the “must” is there, it’s become a chore. Now I feel I can conquer that. Thanks!

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