Working Out & Fear of Failure. (video post)

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This is an all video week filled with topics selected by you.

A few weeks ago Kelly Olexa & I put the call out on Twitter for questions & have picked five to simultaneously answer/address this week.

Not only is Kelly my kindred almost40spirit, she’s fit, fabulous, educated & motivating.

And she’s not me.

The fun aspect of this, in my opinion, will be the chance for ALL of us to see how Kelly answers the exact same question in an entirely different fashion.

Today’s question: HELP. I cant get started working out for fear I will quit. Again.

Please to enjoy & please to comment/chime in with your thoughts or answer below.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OekAE1E6Y0

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8THW3MvBj7s

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Comments

  1. “Paralysis by analysis.” Great concept. I really like going into my workouts with an open mind about what I will do that day, not planning arms, legs, back etc. Switching it up and getting the whole body in the mix. It keeps me on my toes and my body guessing constantly.

    Great topic!

  2. Hey Miz – Love this video and you are right doing something anything is better than nothing. I’ve been trying to get back in the groove with my exercise routine. Last week I told myself that I would get tot the gym, not everyday, but 3 x’s and that I would do cardio only. Just to get me back through the door. This week my plan is to go 4 times. Just get back into the habit of going. I’ve also realized that exercise has to be a priority. Build my day around my exercise, otherwise it will not get done! You touch on something very important in the video, that it/we will never be perfect! Be happy with what we achieve, set attainable goals for ourselves. 🙂 Great video, love the message!

  3. Great video! Yeah, you just gotta get up and go exercise! I definitely agree with everything you said. When I over plan, I end up not doing anything because it becomes too overwhelming and I get frustrated. It doesn’t matter if it’s my diet, or exercise, or quite frankly, anything else in life. I just have to go with the flow.

    Also, don’t let all the super fit people at the gym intimidate you. Life is to short to over-analyze everything like I used to. Just do it.

  4. Hi Miz,

    “Just Do It” – that’s a great philosophy! Nike was onto something…

    I also think it’s better to start…and quit – and repeat – than to never start at all. Starting and quitting – as long as you plan to start again – it’s really not failure – it’s one step along that journey of finding what works for you.

  5. You are so right. I wasn’t your twitter person (tweeter?) but have also let myself down so often with regards to my goals that I want to give up.

    I like how you shared that you have done this and that it is part of the journey.

    THANKS MIZ.

  6. I can’t tell if Kelly has a video up and I am missing it?

    Can you like her specific post?

  7. Am I the only one who is so exhausted from the time change???

    I adore that phrase PARALYSIS BY ANALYSIS too.

    I need you to write me an entire book on that as I do it in fitness and beyond.

    Who was it who said you are our Fitness Guidance Counselor?

    LOL

  8. This post resonated with me HUGELY. Been there, done that. Had the all or nothing attitude which sets you up for failure. Now, I aim to get myself TO the gym. Once I’m there, I can do anything – just MOVE. And 9 times out of 10, I leave feeling great, regardless of what I ended up doing. No failure, only success.

  9. You are so well spoken! Getting started at something new is always a challenge. I think your “just do it” idea is a great one. When combined with some of the other topics you’ve discussed (working out with a partner, setting goals, etc), I think anyone can be successful! Baby steps!

  10. I am SO there. Finances dictate that gym membership must be cut. To be honest, it really doesn’t suit me – the mindless repetition. So, Finnegan…

  11. I’m curious now (a little from what #9 said too) if it takes you a lot of shoots to get your videos right and if you practice?

  12. so many thoughts.

    Marianne? I know YOU know you can totally do this w/out a gym membership.
    Need reminding? Email me 😉

    I believe we all fight the paralysis in some arena of our life. Work? Dream pursuing? *something*

    Life is too short to analyze away & not give things a try as, IMO, if you do anything/take even the tiniest of steps you’ve succeeded.

    And no.

    I don’t practice or do more than one take of the facetime videos.

    For good & for bad.
    😉

  13. so many thoughts.

    Marianne? I know YOU know you can totally do this w/out a gym membership.
    Need reminding? Email me 😉

    I believe we all fight the paralysis in some arena of our life. Work? Dream pursuing? *something*

    Life is too short to analyze away & not give things a try as, IMO, if you do anything/take even the tiniest of steps you’ve succeeded.

    And no.

    I don’t practice or do more than one take of the facetime videos.

    For good & for bad.
    😉

  14. They use the phrase Paralysis by Analysis in the book I’m reading called The Survivor’s Club. People who survive don’t get paralyzed. They do what needs to be done. And they make correct decisions in times of crisis or in times of exercise.

    When it comes to exercise, you just gotta do it and shut up. It will help you survive.

    People who die in plane crashes are usually older, fat women. Don’t be one of those.

  16. The Survivors Club? I need to find that POD.
    NF?

    and listen to the POD. we love her because she speaks the truth and doesnt sugarcoat it for us:

    People who die in plane crashes are usually older, fat women. Don’t be one of those.

    (insert joke here by male reader…)

  17. It’s the mental prison. We all love to incarcerate ourselves with some sort of ‘standards’ that don’t exist. We are sometimes too busy comparing ourselves, our workouts, our results.. with the common public or even with people we know.
    The bottom line is if you move, if you do MORE than you did yesterday.. you will see results.
    The amount of results you see depends on how much more you do, and often you do it.
    Great blog idea BTW.. love both responses.

  18. Am I the only one running really late this morning????
    Will have to return for videos but wanted to come by and say hello & good morning.

    Cant wait to see them.

    Very creative idea!

    Rita

  19. MizFit, what you say about starting with a time limit it SO true! I started regular cardio with 15min and increased it by 5min every 2 weeks. The whole time I was thinking “just do 30min, you know you can do it, why not do it now” But I persisted with the experiment and here I am 3 months later with a 100% increase in time and I really feel like I’ve developed a habit that I can maintain.

    Kelly, Hi! Realising I am in control of what happens has been such a “doh” moment for me. One that I’s so glad I’ve had. Thanks for reiterating what I try to tell myself everyday.

  20. AH HA moment.
    I have been setting myself up for failure.
    I need to try the leaving myself wanting more notion and decide to only do a little exercise this week.

    Every day.

    I can succeed with that.

    Thanks Miz & nice to meet youKelly!!

  21. Well said, Mizfit. That reminds me of this video I saw on Better is Better…

    http://www.bettersbetter.com/2009/02/the-key-to-your-fitness-success-gary-vaynerchuks-better-than-zero.html

    It’s the Wine Guy’s “Better than Zero” philosophy. He applies it to business but it’s just as applicable to wellness. In a nutshell: one is better than zero. Don’t let the mountain of to-do’s get you down. Just pick one little thing (it could even be a single sit-up!) and get started today.

  22. LOVE Kelly’s take on this too – gotta remember that it’s all me – the good and the bad. Nobody else makes me go home instead of going to the gym, nobody else makes me buy crappy food. It’s all me.

    Loving this 2 video idea guys 🙂

  23. peeking in.

    More in a bit but I agree Gemfit. Really interesting for me, too, to hear Kellys insights.

    Shaping up (pun? No? ;)) to be a fun week!

    Miz

  24. I love the question. I made my workouts perfect for me by writing them down. I’ll make a list of weight training exercises taken from all over the place, take 10 exercises per playtime (using the word “play” emphasizes that it’s a choice I make. It takes away the “must”), set the weight, and do them.

    Then I make notes (using my own abbreviations) about how difficult the exercise was, how sore I was the next day, etc. The next time I do an exercise from the list, I check my notes to see if I should make it easier or harder, or keep it the same intensity. Plus, I get to track my progress.

    It adds 15 minutes to my workout, and is so worth it.

  25. Hey Kelly & Miz

    You both gave me a lot to think about… Both your arguments and reasonings are true for me. Fortunately I’ve finally made a start and am going well. I’m no longer afraid that I’ll stop completely if I miss one day, nor am I rigid in my planning… if I can’t make a scheduled class, I’ll find something else to do!

  26. I push myself to do more exercise than is necessary, and even though I know I don’t need to fit in as much as I do, I feel like I’ve failed if I don’t do it all. I need to work on it.

  28. It is fear of failure for me which has a strangle hold on me in many facets of my life.

    What you have me thinking now Miz is that by not starting I am failing.

    Any movement forward is success.

  29. Great videos, ladies!

    Very motivational. Must just do it. As a matter of fact, I really do need to amp it up a bit because calving season is coming and I’ve been a bit of a slacker….. need to get back into shape for carrying those baby calves, if need be (and if the weather doesn’t smarten up, there will definitely be a need!)

  31. I Looove these videos!
    I always say I don’t think about it. I don’t ask myself whether I will workout, I just DO. It is so much easier when you don’t have to go back and forth!

  33. I’m a big planner, but sometimes it really is best to not think it through and to just do it. That’s pretty much the ONLY way I can get myself to go for a run 🙂 And sometimes if I start to overthink it then I decide it’s too cold outside.

    I really like this idea of having 2 videos! So much good advice here and enthusiasm. Thanks Kelly 🙂

  34. Watching these videos together was very cool. Both had elements that rang very true for me. Definitely, the reason I think I’ve succeeded at incorporating working out into my life– and enjoying it– is because I don’t go on these all-out exercise binges, when suddenly I decide I have to be doing this much, and NOW– I like your advice mizfit to start off slowly and not ALLOW yourself to burn yourself out. And I feel like I could use Kelly pointing at me and telling me it’s my MIND when I’m at petering out at the end of a workout and just.want.to.stop.

  35. The contemplating it is the worst. Wasn’t it you that said the hardest part is putting on your shoes? After that, you’ve already committed. If not you, then sorry to who said it! lol. It’s so true though. You don’t have to be perfect, just put on your shoes and do something with your body!

  36. I heart Miz.

    I believe that over planning and over analyzing my workout routine puts too much pressure on me. If I make the daily goal to JUST DO IT, “it” meaning s o m e t h i n g…..it will work. As Kelly said, no one can make me quit – I have the power.

  37. In general, I think workout plans are really good and help adherence. That being said, I think they can also cause frustration, ie missing a day and feeling like you’ve “failed” because you went off your plan. It’s important to remember that doing anything is better than nothing, even if it’s less than planned or completely different than what is planned. Also, if you have to miss a day, then you miss a day and you can get back on it the next day.

  38. Great posts.
    It is so easy to interfere with your own ideas.
    I found that I am my own worst enemy…amd when I’m in sync with myself and don’t let the odd day off make me feel like a failure, in the end I look after myself and live better day to day. As long as I can get my but out of my warm cozy bed in the morning, the rest falls into place. It may not be perfect, but it is enough.
    A little bit every day is a great way to be.
    Thanks 🙂

  40. I did tweet you this but I’m not the only one I’m sure (I hope :)).

    I become so afraid that I will let myself down again that I want to be certain that I will so I don’t start.

    Does that make sense?

    This week I am starting.

    Five minutes a day on my workout bike.

    THANK YOU.

  41. I do love the notion by Kelly of no one being able to make you quit.
    As I reflect back at things I have quit it HAS all been my *choice*

    sometimes a good one (hello kayacking!) & sometimes perhaps not.

    and why does this all make me think about the line:

    Why caint I quit you?

    anyone else?

  44. Wow Miz and Kelly O!!! “Are you talkin’ to me!” I am a chronic over analyzer with an all or nothing mentality. I work it all out with lists and charts and schedules and then the start day arrives and I am too overwhelmed to do it. I am so afraid that I will fail yet again.

    Like Kelly “pointed” out, I am the one in control of my life. I decide if I am going to succeed or fail. I recently changed my workout goals to just do anything 4x’s per week. No schedule or plan or list. Just get to the gym and do something. It makes me nervous to not plan though.

    Jenn

  45. I surprises me after a fast reading of the comments how many of us feel the same way.

    Yet I would imagine we all feel alone in this struggle.
    I knw that I do.

  46. Jenn, this is so interesting to me:

    I recently changed my workout goals to just do anything 4x’s per week. No schedule or plan or list. Just get to the gym and do something. It makes me nervous to not plan though.

    as you are planning. you DO have a plan. entirely! you plan to get there and just to MOVE—-and you do.

    GO JENN.

  47. First – love Kelly O’s pink cammo hat!!! Second – and hopefully less frivolous – I’m so glad you two addressed this topic as it seems to be a major stumbling block to people. As far as motivating oneself to workout, I think it helps a lot to know what your personality is. For me, I’m very gregarious and outgoing and so I need to workout with other people. For some, this would just make them want to stay home even more. Bottom line – try it and all and discover what you like!

  48. On Thursday, my cousin and I were talking and she mentioned a quote she’d heard: “Just do the thing and you’ll find the energy to do the thing.” So, “do the thing” has become our mantra for the past few days!

    You just have to do it. You have to go through it to get to the other side. Do the thing!

  49. I have been trying to take the making good food choices everyday thing, well a day at a time. Just starting was hard and this gave me food for thought. I mean even if I slip up once a day, it doesn’t negate all the other successes of the day. Starting was so hard though, cause I look at the finish line and think how far it is instead of thinking that all it takes it putting one foot in front of the other and that I gain momentum. Loved both the videos!

  50. This is a very cool idea.
    You’re doing it all week?

    For me paralysis by analysis has pervaded much of my life.

    People complement me on the fact I look before I leap 😉 but I tend to look & look & look…

  51. peeking in before I head out…TO MEET WITH CRANKY FITNESS IN PERSON!

    Jamie/CrankyFitness, the Tornado & I are all meeting for pancakes.

    Should be sticky.

    For the 3 year old anyway 😉

  52. Brilliant, you two.

    As I wrote in my comment to Kelly, I have been struggling to even START lately. I have myself convinced I have to get myself “mentally prepared” to do it, if I’m really going to do it. I then just end up overanalyzing the whole idea, make it a stressful subject, chew on it, spit it out, and stick it in my hair.

    I also wrote:
    “You’re right. It’s all me.
    Nothing and no one else (unless I am taken hostage by evil-doers in a foreign country) is going to make me quit but ME.

    I also want to add that a lot of people fail because they’re doing it for all the wrong reasons (like for someone else), and not for themselves. Once that false-goal is gone, so is their motivation. I must do it for ME.

    Because I deserve it.”

    Keep it up ladies. 😉

  53. Thanks for visiting me today!!! I was in fear that you never would 🙂 Another fear put to rest, for now anyway!

  55. ****LOVED****** the co-video answer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You constantly surprise me with your awesomeness!!!!

    Loved the answers! For me, I look at exercise as ME time! I am so selfish with it! Why would I want to give up that time :)???

    It does take a little time to get into a routine but once you are there………..there’s no stopping!!!!

  56. Oh, I’m so there in the analysis-paralysis…but it’s more about trying a new sport (sprint tri) and the training/family buy-in that it will involve. Is it more “be careful what you wish for” or “if you build it, they will come?” I’m not so sure myself.

  58. Both videos rocked. The paralysis by analysis point raised by mizfit, and Kelly’s astute observation that it’s not fear of quitting but fear of FAILURE, seem to be themes that are raised a lot in the weight loss blogosphere lately.

    If we think about things too much, we get bogged down, fighting imaginary adversaries in our head. I firmly believe that sticking to a successful fitness routine requires me to actually shut down my brain. I don’t look for motivation, I don’t engage in conversations with myself. I just go into robot mode and do it.

    And when you do the routine long enough (preferably the same time every day), the habit eventually carves itself a niche that makes it easier to stick to.

  59. Camevil, I love what you say at the end about the habit carving a niche.

    I’m a morning exerciser.

    EarlyEARLY 5A or 530 @ latest.

    It took me a while to get the habit going (I’m not by nature a morning person but that’s the available MEtime) & more than a few false starts (see? not failures ;)) but I’ve finally carved that niche.

    Love that phrasing…

  60. OK. feels wrong to type this from a recline position on the couch, but the loss of an hour KILLED my energy. lol.

    Loved the dueling videos! and I think the “just do it” pretty much sums up my fitness philosophy, too. Once I actually go and DO something, I want to keep doing it. I don’t really worry about letting myself down though. I just sign up for stuff- like taking my fitness instructor courses, I guess some people might worry about going that far. I just think: hmmm…I’m interested in that. Let me try it. Guess I’m not super worried about looking a fool- in the exercise dept anyway. 😛

    Scheduling is so important to my will to exercise (as is a well rested body). If I don’t have a ton of time and just tell myself, I’m doing this for 20 minutes, I CAN fit it in. Comes back to planning and not letting myself out of it. I let myself talk myself out of working out way too easily. A friend waiting for me and/or a scheduled class helps so much.

  61. Now if we could get you two really together in a video.
    My wife always says she’s too busy to lift weights and I know you could convince her otherwise!!

  62. Ok – I have the magic pill…are you ready???

    GET A PARTNER.

    An exercise partner is what I mean.

    I would certainly never drag my ass out of bed every morning at 5:30 (including this morning after being up all night with raccoons in the trash and hallucinations of hearing some 1990’s internet connection sounds…don’t ask) if it wasn’t for the fact that I know my sweat band clad running partner would be standing outside my door at 6:00am. Seriouslu, there is no excuse to not get up and get moving when you know someone is waiting for you.

  63. Love the two videos and the message is right on target. We all spend too much time trying to figure out the how, when, why, where, what’s of the world without just jumping in and maybe even making mistakes. I’m finding out that blogging works this way too. 🙂

  65. I’m reading a really interesting book right now by Tom Venuto – The Body Fat Solution. There’s exercise & diet info in there, but a huge chunk of the book is about changing your thinking about your own possibilities. I haven’t finished, but I’m about a third of the way through and it seems like it could be useful to anyone who suffers from that fear-of-failure-fear-of-success paralysis (myself included).

  67. A routine that you can do for the rest of your life – that’s the best advice you could give to someone just starting out. Kind of like a lifestyle vs. a short-term diet. It’s the only way to really stick with it.

  68. HOW TIMELY!! I just lost 5 so I could start blogging at a whole number, and told people I would be blogging,and felt like who am I kidding…who cares about my journey….no one will read, no one will comment…Am I deliberately choosing to fail?
    The truth is I do have something to say, and I can and will do this. I know what to do and how to do it…doesn’t this sound like the old Al Franken SNL routine…”I’m good enouugh, I’m smart enough, and doggonit, people like me”
    Thanks girls…..I guess I really do have to get up at 4:45…

  69. hmm, i am my worst enemy. but not so much with exercise, more with food. i am scared to do another tri though… weird, as i’ve already done two. but i did so well, what if i don’t beat my best time? sheesh!

  70. Nice subject and good execution!! I really liked the two different ways and styles of getting the point across.

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