Yo-Yo No More.

by

Please to welcome Berni.

She blogs daily at Yo Yo No More (& has been exceeeeedingly patient in waiting for me to run her post).

I’d heard it a thousand times before: It’s all about forming new habits, a new lifestyle. Yeah, I know, that’s great, but how the hell do I do this? How do I create said lifestyle, where my hair always looks good and my teeth sparkle?

This was my problem, and I needed a solution, I was back up at my heaviest weight AGAIN and looking like I was going to make that seem like a skinny day soon. I knew what the good habits were, what the lifestyle looked like but I couldn’t seem to grab it. The dumplings, the extra serves, the fried chicken (It’s Japanese style, that’s healthy right?) called me, like a siren.

Change finally arrived, and I would like to share with you, almighty Bumbling Band, how I’m starting to turn my life into a work in progress that I’m proud of, something I’m happy to keep building on. This is what has done it for me, helped me find my groove. I’m sure each of us has wildly different demons and vices, all I can say is never stop looking at yourself and asking questions.

1.    I started to floss my teeth. This was a habit I consciously made, I struggled with the bleeding gums, the lack of desire to spend an extra few minutes on my dental hygiene, but I did it. It proved to me that I could make changes, and showed me how one small step can have a bigger effect down the track. This is still the example I go back to, when I’m feeling defeated, I still floss my teeth, and I can do this, one step at a time.

2.    I started talking to myself. My standard excuse was that it was too hard. So I started thinking of things that I’d done that where actually hard and then threw that back at myself when I started complaining. It kinda went like this, “this isn’t hard, working the night shift on 3 hours sleep was hard, get your butt out there and walk ”.

3.    I stopped talking to myself. I had a serious long-term relationship with a voice in my head. I named her Sabotaging Me. She was a total biatch and it was time to go our separate ways. This was hard, part of me loved her and her insults, something about it was comforting, assuring. It was a long process, and involved a heap of not listening, talking over her, contradicting her views and trying to be positive. It was awkward, I felt weird, but after a while, my voice got stronger and the kindness I showed myself felt good, not undeserved.

4.    I got proud. Once Sabotaging Me became quieter I started finding things I was proud of each day. At first, this gave her a chance to pipe up again and mock me. But I persevered and started making it part of my blog. Pretty soon Sabotaging Me became silent altogether and these days I don’t seem to hear from her at all, not even a postcard.

This is the start for me. I’m not at my goal weight, not even close. But I feel like I’ve climbed the most rugged mountain in the range. I feel like I’m equipped with walking stick, appropriate footwear, and a warm jacket. I’m ready to tackle the rest of the trail, pick up some more equipment on the way and get to my destination, ruddy cheeked, smiling and ready for the next challenge.

So tell me, what has been/is your biggest hurdle? How are/did you work through it?

Is it the chocolate bars and the deep-fried golden goodness? Is it getting up and working out? Or is it that little voice inside your head holding you back?

POSTS BY EMAIL

Never miss a post. Enter your email to get my latest posts delivered to your inbox.

Comments

  2. That has been really key for me as well, Berni.

    Finding something I’m proud of doing every day.
    GREAT JOB!

  3. My biggest hurdle was sweets, like Twizzlers., but something bizarre has happened in the last two weeks….

    I upped my fruit & veggie intake and it’s totally making me full all day to the point where I’m like “Oh look! I’m not hungry and don’t feel like noshing on junk either.”

    The hubby offered me a bowl of ice cream last night and I turned it down without even flinching.

    Now can someone please explain how this situation deprogrammed by brain to not want all the sweets???? Gracias.

  4. My biggest hurdle is the afternoon munchies. I love chocolate.

    The thing that’s helped me the most is having my husband doing this with me and being hella supportive of me.

  5. Yep, can relate.

    For me I live by the motto…”Persistence, not perfection” (even made a coffee mug with that on it and use it every morning)…and continue to move forward, even when there is a temporary setback.

    One step at a time and goals are achieved.

    Thanks for sharing Berni.

  6. I love that flossing your teeth was the key to a new beginning!

    For me the journey has been a bit easier, because I was raised in an active family and have been learning bit by bit over the last couple of decades what I need to eat to feel healthy and still enjoy meals. But taking responsibility for my choices seems to be a big factor. When I start indulging in a “what the heck” attitude too frequently I find I need to make a course correction.

  7. Great post! Nice to meet you, Berni!

    I’m getting to a point where my backslides are not too lengthy any more. I still falter, but I pull it back pretty quickly, instead of staying stuck for months. This makes a huge difference. It feels as if the good habits are becoming the default behavior. And that’s what I’ve always wanted. I feel very encouraged and empowered by this.

  8. What a great inspirational post!! One of my biggest hurdles was the voice in my head. It made me feel guilty for eating something not perfectly healthy, then it would tell me I failed so I might as well destroy all my hard work by bingeing my brains out. Ignoring that voice in my head has been key to getting control over my eating disorder. I’m glad I’m not the only one!

  9. The voice in my head tells me that I’ve been through so much that I *deserve* to have the chips, or to rest and not exercise. But lately I’ve been asking it if I could do just a little better (have a few potato chips, but then have some nuts). It’s a work in progress. Would really like to know when the good hair comes, though!

  10. Mine’s this voice: “it’s only a little bit. I can have a little bit, everyone says so! A little bit won’t hurt! I’ll have X (insert chips and dip, chips and salsa, ice cream, fren ch fries, etc) and be good later.” But, later never comes. And, before you know it I”ve eaten us out of house and home! J/K, the carrot sticks and other veggies are left.

    But, later is here now 🙂 That’s all I need to remind myself. Hopefully some day it won’t be constant reminding, but a true habit.

  11. For me, it was (and still is) having people ignore my accomplishments while pointing out where I fall short.

    If left on my own, I’m happy and healthy and fine. Add my parents/family into the picture? All that beautiful balance and strength goes to sh*t. And I wonder if it’s even worth it.

  13. Mt biggest hurdle is the negative noise in my head telling me it’s too hard and I’ll never get to where I want to be. I am working on it by keeping a gratitude journal (I know I sound so Oprah right now) and avoiding toxic people.

  14. Great Post!

    Talking to yourself in a positive way works wonders. I used to always say “I hate working out” but now I tell myself “I love working out, I have the best body I’ve ever had”. I say it every day and it really sinks in!!

  15. Wonderful post Berni!! My favorite part was the tidbit about flossing. “t proved to me that I could make changes, and showed me how one small step can have a bigger effect down the track. ” I never thought of it that way but you are soooo right! Thanks for the great guest post, Miz!

  16. Hi everyone 🙂
    Thanks so much for sharing, the Bumbling Band sure is a great gang to hang out with and feel the love.

  18. Thanks for this post!! My biggest hurdle? The next one. How will I get through it? I don’t know yet. I’m hoping that all the practice I’ve had with the hurdles I’ve faced so far will have given me some useful skills for that next one.

  19. Thanks for this post!!

    What is my biggest hurdle? The next one! How will I get through it? I don’t know yet. I’m hoping the practice I’ve had with all the other hurdles have given me some useful skills for the next one!

  20. I think Berni just revealed to me why I love triathlons so much, and it has to do with her step number 2. Once you accomplish something that is clearly–clear to yourself and to everyone else–very, very difficult (and yes, even a sprint triathlon is difficult in a way most people never will experience), you find yourself empowered to do whatever the heck you want. Tough yoga class? Might kick my ass, but the whole time I’m thinking, “I’m a triathlete; I can handle it.” 14-hour day on 4 hours sleep? No problem; I’m a triathlete. Confronting my parents about their unwillingness to acknowledge my sexual preferences . . . okay, it’s not a fix for everything.

    And the one thing, Berni, that I think holds me back fitness-wise is my sense of entitlement. “I’ve *earned* these cookies”; “I *deserve* to skip this workout.” It might be true, sometimes, but during a season in which I really want to be competitive, it’s not appropriate.

  21. Wow, what a great post. I have the same voice in my head – I call her the Crazy B*tch. The hard part for me is remembering that she really IS off her rocker, and that her advice/opinions, which sound so rational at time, are in fact TOTALLY FREAKIN’ NUTS. I’m getting better though. 🙂

  23. Awesome post! AND congrats!!! I grew up with food & sweets as a big part of my family along with the fattening meals. All get togethers were about food… so, it was tough for me when I did lose weight. YES, I had that voice inside me saying I was ugly, fat, nobody liked me etc. One day, I was just so tired of being the fat one & not dating that I just decided to start “dieting”. Not the right way either.

    Anyway, I still have that voice in my head but I have to override it with the accomplishments I have made a long the way. I also realize that I will be a work in progress forever.. I like that.. always something new to challenge myself with & I never get complacent.

    My hardest vice, the cinnamon rolls, bread and SWEETS! I got past the bread by finding all kinds of tasty ones with lots of fiber & protein. Sweets, I just found ways to replace them but I still enjoy every week when I want to. Took me a while to get to that point!

    I think the biggest part is to stop the bad talk to yourself & start believing in yourself.

    Congrats again!

  25. Great post, Berni. I love how positive you always sound on your blog. Even when you have setbacks you get up and take the high road and encourage yourself and others.

  26. The last 3 questions you ask, are all hurdles for me. All 3!
    I’m still working on overcoming them.

    Loved the post =)

  27. Great post!

    The hardest thing for me was realizing some people would not understand my choices. I’ve had friends, family, and co-workers say “Just eat this one bit, you can have doughnut, or You are obessed with being healthy.” When those comments were made, I would find myself giving in and eating – the cake, the ice cream, the pizza – whatever the situation was…

    But now, I remember my overall goal, to be a healthy happy me, and that I don’t have to sacrifice myself to appease others. I eat the cake only if I want it and if I don’t then I politely decline. If someone makes a snide remark, I say “I am sure that X tastes wonderful, but I do not want it right now. Thank you for offering.” And if they keep pressing, I remove myself from the situation.

  28. I love LOVE you started with something as seemingly simple as flossing.

    great post!

  29. Great post!

    My biggest hurdle is portion control. I try to tackle this one meal at a time by being mindful and present when I eat. I don’t beat myself up anymore if I don’t do so well but look at every meal as a new beginning.

  30. You guys are so way cool 🙂
    So much great advice.

    It’s not that I love to hear that other people struggle, but it’s so nice to know I’m not the only one that finds these things tricky sometimes.

    THANKYOU!

  31. Berni, I love your tips, but most esp. I love your paragraph where you talk about how you’ve already “climbed the most rugged mountain in the range.” You are so right. Achieving a goal weight is not the most important thing if you end up there and are still negative self-talking, beating yourself up, etc. I think lack of self-confidence and not really having healthy ways of expressing my emotions have been my two biggest hurdles for sure– not necessarily to weight loss in my case but more to just being healthy inside and out!

  32. Absolutely fantastic post! It oculdn’t have been more perfect for me, it’s like it was written for me. Thanks!

  33. My biggest hurdle is my brain cooperating with my gut on a daily basis.

    My inner voice is named Harriet. She’s a nut!

    Nice post. Fun to read.

  37. This was really great! I am struggling every day and I know exactly what to do. I just never do it. My biggest hurdle is how to do something for my self. I am always about my family(not a terrible thing) but I have neglected myself a long time.
    I joined the gym around the corner. But I have to make the time to go. I have sugar free jello, but I have to keep my spoon out of my daughters ice cream.
    I know food wont make my stress go away, but riding the bike will help.
    I’m going to try.

  38. oh great post!! serously it is about learning that you don’t have to change everything today.. just make one change today… another tomorrow and so on. Life isn’t about being on a diet, you have to find good foods that work for you!

  39. Great post. I think what I was afraid of was losing weight meant losing me. Like, I had to become some granola eatin’ chick that got up before sunrise to workout and stopped playing video games and drinking beer and never ate a burger and fries. That I had to exercise all the time – it was painful to get my huge arse up and on the eliptical. These thoughts was unfathomable to me.

    Well, I did it. I lost 115 lbs. I still drink beer and play video games, albeit less than I used to – on a sunny afternoon I prefer to ride my bike outside. I don’t get up before sunrise, and though it took me TWO YEARS to get there, I get up and run/yoga/do something most mornings before work. I still don’t like granola, but I gravitate towards fruits and veggies and my lunch of choice is the salad bar. Exercise is my stress relief and I couldn’t imagine a week without it. I’m a very different person than I was when I started, but it took baby steps to get here.

    I’m pretty much at/around my goal, but I wouldn’t mind losing a little more. What keeps me going is if I balk at the idea of doing something – telling myself that I just have to try it, and if it doesn’t work, I’ll do something else.

  41. I didn’t read the gazillion comments that come before me so someone else may have already said this, but we like to point out that we spend more time with ourselves than anyone else. So being kind to ourselves — which includes talking positively to ourselves — can make a tremendous difference in our lives. Imagine if we spent as much time with someone else who was so negative about us? We probably wouldn’t.

    Congrats, Berni, on a big, big step.

  43. Probably, deep down, still being unsure of myself. I don’t think I’m fit enough. I don’t think I work hard enough. That sort of thing – that I could do better. Honestly, I need a kick now and then.

  46. Loved this post, Berni. You have such a way with words. I have such a sneaky little tricksy voice in my head too- though it doesn’t seem to be sending me postcards very often these days, either, and I’m pretty darn happy about that!

  47. Oh, God, Berni, what an amazing post. There are so many things I’d like to say that I could write a whole other post on it…

    I love the flossing part. That’s my go-to method, too – I’ve never heard anyone else say that, so I gasped when I read that. But it’s something I hate doing, even though it only takes a minute or two and it’s not that hard. So if I can make myself do that, then it starts a process of making myself do the other things that are so good for me but so hard to force myself to do…

    I call Sabotaging Me the “Cynic” and my other voice the “Sage” – but it seems that they’re the same voices. 🙂

    Amazing post – amazing journey.

    V.

  48. Need to remain on the positive! Have a tendency to sweat the little stuff – stop that! Doesn’t help :0) Thanks for the reminder!

Trackbacks

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This