Soap & Chocolate.

by

Diana is both a food-lover and an armchair nutritionist. When not reading MizFit, she blogs about easy, healthy flexitarian eating at Soap And Chocolate.

First and foremost, huge thanks to MizFit for putting my guest post up in herre. The honor is not lost on me, that much is fo’ sho’.

I’m a relatively new kid on the tofu block of health blogging, though I’ve been casually life-blogging since 2005, when I moved to China to teach English for a year and rightly assumed I might have a few stories.

However, in late January of this year, I recommitted myself to the blogosphere and have been food-blogging consistently for the past few months, during which time I bought my own domain (www.soapandchocolate.com), tried (and created) dozens of healthy, flexitarian recipes, received more food samples than I thought existed in the world, and now have a Clif/Luna/Lara/Gnu Bar collection to rival Whole Foods’.

I love the world of health, fitness and food blogs – they have provided me with a wealth of information (and entertainment), not to mention reciprocal support for my chosen creative outlet.

That said, I am not without a sense of humor on this topic, and if you spend as much time reading health blogs as I do daily, you may or may not have had a few choice observations that you may or may not feel are worthy of “voicing” in the comments section. So just for shiggles, I thought it might be fun to start a certain list in the spirit of Jeff Foxworthy’s “You Might Be a Redneck.”

Without further introduction, I give you:

You Might Be a Health Blogger (or Reader!)

…if you know what KERF stands for.

…if you’re training for a marathon.

…if your sense of self-worth is defined by your oatmeal recipe and variations thereupon.

…if you switched to stevia.

…if you share the stats on your heart rate monitor.

…if a loved one has ever filed a Missing Person report on you during your trip to Whole Foods.

…if your dining companions wait for you to snap pictures of your food at restaurants before digging in…or remind you to do so if by chance you forgot.

…if there is a BlogHer and/or FoodBuzz ad on your website.

…if “the Shred” is not something you did to make dinner.

…if bake sales can and should be done via internet.

…if your Google Reader consistently says “(1000+)”.

…if “HOLY YUM!” is firmly ingrained in your vocabulary.

…if one or more meals per day goes through a blender before hitting your stomach.

…if the blog world knows more about your GI tract than your doctor.

…if you had to teach your parents how to comment.

…if you refuse to use the flash when photographing food.

…if you pity the fool who thinks raw food is limited to salad.

…if you’ve ever made your own nut butter/milk/flour …and/or spun flax into gold.

…if yoga has changed your life.

…if to know you is to know your love for Barney Butter.

…if P90X isn’t hard enough.

…if you’ve begun to assume that everyone knows what PB2 is.

…if jelly beans have matured from Easter Candy to running fuel.

…if Trader Joe knows you by name.

…if you read MizFit. 😉

Now it’s your turn! What would you add to the list?

I’ve only just gotten it started, and it would keep going if I didn’t cut myself off at a pretty number like 25. I just don’t have time to add any more – there are 1000+ posts unread in my Google Reader, after all.

If you need extra incentive, take your creativity over to my blog, where I’m giving away a special care package full of two of my favorite things: soap and chocolate, what else!

And maybe some other hand-picked goodies, if you’re extra funny.

Leave your addition in the comments and you’ll not only gain an entry for the giveaway, but you’ll be credited with your contribution to “You might be a health blogger…” when I create a permanent page for the list!

I’ll even link back to your blog, if you have one, so be sure to include the URL. I’ll pick a winner on June 18. Go nuts!

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Comments

  1. You get up in the morning and run to read MizFit FIRST THING.

    (Hangs head in shame)

  4. Great list, that was hilarious!

    You also might be a health blogger if your idea of a “burpee challenge” has nothing to do with carbonated beverages.

  5. I’m definitely a Health Blogger – at least one of my meals go through a blender! Actually, quite a few of those are true for me. And I do love Mizfit!

  6. If you lunge out of bed in the morning to start your day.

    (Yeah I come here first too ;))

    Funny post!!

  7. Additionally, you might be a health blogger….

    – When people know what you eat daily, what your fridge looks like, and how fast you can run even though you never actually met them before.

    – When vacation is no excuse to stop posting on your blog – you are still eating!!! (that one was for you Diane and your “magical” Disney World updates)

  8. When you talk about CHIA and don’t mean the pet.

    When you talk about MizFit and people think she’s really a friend of yours 😉

  10. If your sole reason for buying a coffee grinder is to make nut flour and/or grind flax seeds.

    If you are currently trying to come up with a ______bar knockoff so that you don’t have to worry about preservatives, excess sugar or HFCS.

    When you’re planning a wedding, and are severely tempted to register for a Vitamix.

    If your fear of getting burned was the only thing keeping you from cooking.

  11. When one of your priorities in life is making sure you have your camera with you at all times, ready to snap a photo of everything you eat that day!

  12. When one of your priorities in life is making sure you have your camera with you at all times, ready to snap a photo of everything you eat that day!!!

  14. When you actually get frustrated at food for not ‘posing’ for long enough – melted ice cream and souffle anyone?

  15. OOOh! What a FAB post! You might be a health blogger if: 1) every morning features a Green Monster (that’s not the Hulk!), 2) if you are part of some challenge to lose weight, simplify life or eat raw 😉 and 3) If you’ve ever said, “I can’t eat that! What would my readers think?!

  16. well looky lookly, 2 days in a row I’m an early commenter!

    This is the greatest list to hit the healthblogosphere! LOVE IT! I knodded my head the entire way!

    AND…I added Diane to my list of must reads! Can’t wait to read more!

  17. When the supermarket employees run to get the manager when they see you in the store with your camera. (Lunges down the aisles, anyone?)

    I give up: what does KERF mean?

  18. love the list – every one.

    especially spinning flax into gold….I do want a new job….maybe that’s what I should do? 🙂

  19. Kimmy! There’s no shame in coming here 1st thing in the morning! (Says Pubsgal, who just woke up and is checking in…hmm, maybe I’m not the best judge of whether this is shameful or not….)

    Charlotte, that cracked me up! Funny, I’ve been eyeing in the same light those plump gophers my husband has been waging epic Caddyshackian struggle with…if we’re ever hard -up for protein, we’ve got those and a legion of garden snails…now, just need to plant some garlic and maybe get a goat for greener lawn maintenance and source for butter….

  20. haha!
    hmm ….
    here’s mine.
    you might be a food blogger if you enjoy going to the grocery store/”food museum”.
    you might be a food blogger if you get excited for fall pumpkin oatmeal recipes.
    you might be a food blogger if you have ever prepared spaghetti squash or quinoa.

  21. oops, i meant health blogger.
    here’s another one.

    you might be a health blogger if you know that C25K isn’t a character in Star Wars.

  23. I hope everyone can have a moment and feel bad for me as I do the I’m-at-work-inasmalloffice-and-will-look-weird-if-I-laughoutloud-at-my-computer dance.

    LOVING the additions! Keep it up – this needs to go down in the annals of health blogging history. (TWSS?)

  24. I have to second the pictures of food and the looking at other people’s pictures of their food.

    And starting my day here.

    Good to know I’m not alone 😉

  26. Too funny!! Holy Yum, that list was delicious…

    How ’bout, you might be a health blogger if circuit training doesn’t mean an electrician course.

    …if you know body glide isn’t about floating in the ocean.

    …if you share every .1 or .2 weight loss success.

    Great guest post. Love ya Miz!

  28. This is so funny. And so true.

    You might be a food blogger if you got kicked out of the International Market for taking pictures.

    It happened.

  30. !!! Great List !!!

    …if eating pasta does not exactly mean you are eating pasta and you had to take advantage of the mystical technology of a spiralizer to make it…

    …if your idea of porn is the edible variety!

  31. You have many many many friends you’ve never ever met 🙂

    Fun post.

    Thanks for all you do MizFit!

  32. Too funny!!! I love this list!!

    I have one to add:

    You know you’re a health blogger when your dad phones to tell you he was passing by a restaurant you recently blogged about and thought of you

    (true story)

  33. If you think twice about having the same food again because it’s going to look “boring” on the blog.

    If you know the names of bloggers’ significant others and pets.

    If opening a package from a fellow blogger/reader leaves you with the same joy as Christmas morning.

  34. …you rate your meal on how good it will look in a photograph?

    Great list – though I shudder at the though of switching to stevia; that stuff tastes nasty!

  37. Love Diana and her hilarious list! I have another one ….

    if your friends or relatives send you pictures of their food for publication on your blog.

  39. Wow, I’m surprised at how many of those things I am NOT! Maybe I’m a misfit food/health blogger (?)

    At any rate, I would add:

    …If you like vegetables more than people.

  41. …if you start eating unusual foods or participating in random activities for the purpose of blogging about it.

    …if YOUR family knows the names and health philosophies of the people that you blog with.

    …if your friends ask you if they can taste-test a product for your blog of if they know more about your personal life through reading your blog than through actually spending time with you in person.

    Love this idea! So hilarious how true so many of these are. I’m expecting to see this list circulating around Facebook, now 😉

  42. If you get more excited about Farmer’s markets than anything else all weekend….

    If every conversation you have had lately has been a description of the food you have been eating lately…..

  43. …if you have to stop yourself from telling people that just because it’s soy doesn’t mean that it’s not a processed food that they need to educate themselves about before they go stuffing it into their face in the name of health.

    Yeah I did that. Yeah I got looks. But I read it on Mark’s Daily Apple, so it’s gotta be true.

  46. PS:

    You might be a health blogger if you accept a ride to a 15k run from a fellow health blogger who you’ve never met in person. 🙂

  50. Whomever said that you start to refer to blog commenters as friends nailed it for me.
    When I talk to my friends, Miz, I pretend I know you.

    In a totally nonstalkerish way 🙂

  51. I have to admit, I don’t know what KERF or stevia are …

    I do routinely get lost at Whole Foods, though. Voluntarily.

    NSV is a well known one …. but I keep fixating on the chocolate. HOLY YUM!

  52. – if you get excited at the idea of grocery shopping
    – if you have animated conversations about pumpkin uses
    – if you can write an an entire post about how great a bowl of oatmeal was
    – if you use the words “hangry” and “crack wrap” in everyday conversation
    – if you can’t hear the word “soy” without bursting out with information cited from various sources
    – if the concept of going raw doesn’t seem at all strange to you even if you don’t do it yourself
    – if you know what a ‘green monster’ is
    – if you know what a charley horse or bonking is (and how to avoid it)
    – if you stop eating hot food because by the time you get decent angles/lighting for a photo, it’s gone cold
    – if you take a camera with you everywhere you go in case you eat/drink/see something that is blog-worthy
    – if kale chips are more appealing than doritos
    – if you can list more than 5 ways to eat nut butters
    – if the words kombucha, chia and kabocha are part of your everyday conversations
    – if you are scared to say what you are thinking to non-bloggers because they don’t speak ‘blog talk’!

  53. OMG, too funny!!!!!!!!! I will have to think this thru & head over to Soap & Chocolate!!!! Thx for the much needed laugh today! Core & ab exercise for sure!!!!!

  54. Now that I know it’s site-specific, I don’t feel bad that I didn’t know what KERF stands for.

    My acronym would be NERF. Do they still make Nerf balls (and arrows and light sabers and other weaponry)?

  56. Miz: You always have such interesting guest bloggers.

    Soap and chocolate: Most of what you wrote applies to me ( though I have stayed away from making my own nut butter and good sense kicked in just when I was about to buy my own flour mill after researching on it for months). Excellent post. Donno what KERF is though.

    Let me add a few ( I am not a health blogger..I just read them)

    – if you feel sad for people ( esp. DH) when they don’t know how enjoyable running can be.
    – when you start sobbing after a long run with the realization, “Oh Good Lord, I am so grateful to you for making me realize how enjoyable it is to run””.
    – if you are constantly planning your weekend around running and Yoga ( I drive my husband crazy as I like to run for an hour and a half on weekends and like to knwo if my husband will be around with my child at home).
    -if you start talking about running to anyoen who is kind enough to listen to you.
    – if movies like Rocky suddenly becomes so much more enjoyable now ( this my husband likes, finally I share his passion for the movie).

  58. You might be a health blogger (or, like me, a faithful health blog reader) if you consume Green Monsters on a regular basis and your loved ones are accustomed to seeing you consume ‘unusual’ food items.

  61. You might be a health blogger if………………………

    you walk around your couch before going to bed to make sure your pedometer gets to the “required” 10,000 steps for the day. 😉

  62. I love it.

    You might be a health blogger if…
    You blog weekly about your half marathon training because your RL friends are sick of hearing about it! Tee hee.

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