Living deliberately (guest post).

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If I could write a letter to the me of a year ago this is what I would say….

Dear self,

As you stood there today, eyes locked on that mirror….looking at a stranger that you hadn’t really noticed before.

A stranger that you have been trying to avoid seeing for years….

By avoiding mirrors and family photos, wearing baggy clothing in dark colors.

By being everybody’s fat friend.

By cracking jokes about your weight.

By being the endlessly patient and caring person who never imposes.

Who never asks, never wants, and never  needs.

And by never asking, or wanting, or needing,

You have somehow become a person who never lives, or even feels….

The embarrassment that swept over you in cold waves…

The need to flee…

The urge to run …

From what it was that you were seeing.

From what you suddenly knew everyone else could see.

Well, that feeling was temporary…but you don’t know that yet.

It feels infinite.

As you lie in bed tonight crying.

Asking God to help you, because you don’t believe you have it in you to succeed.

You had tried and failed, and tried and failed…and tried….and failed.

Till you thought you had failure tattooed on your forehead.

Here I stand one year later to tell you that you did it.

You did it.

Somehow, you took every bad thought captive.

You broke that negative tape that told you how fat-and dumb-and unlovable you are;

And created a new tape that told you how great, and awesome, capable, and loved you are.

At some point, you stopped belittling yourself, berating yourself…and began to encourage yourself.

You stopped beating yourself up over yesterday and began living today.

Because you realized that if you lived right TODAY.

If you nourished yourself TODAY.

If you exercised TODAY.

The yesterdays and tomorrows would take care of themselves.

You started to value yourself.

You began to reach out for love, and for friendship.

As you grew healthier in your mind and your body, you began to expect better treatment from those around you.

You began to ask.

You began to want.

You began to live.

It was so dark in the beginning, you couldn’t even see around the corner.

You couldn’t see what kind of a new world you were entering…

Or more accurately, that you were creating.

All you could do was walk.

And let go of your crutch, your consoler, your enemy, your addiction…

Your Food.

You see, you finally figured out that you can’t grab hold of a new life and still cling to your old one.

Oh hon.

Right now, Lying in your bed.

You think you’re trying to ‘get skinny’.

You’re not.

You’re trying to live.

You’re trying To Fully Feel, to Fully Inhabit the life you’ve been given.

You are trying to create a person that you can be proud of…

Or as some would say:

You are trying to be your own superhero.

I want to thank you…

As scared and uncertain as you are,

It is a brave thing to do.

To put down the food and pick up a life.

To Face your past and put it to rest.

To finally escape the prison of your own low expectations.

And rise to the challenge of who God created you to be.

I wouldn’t be where I am today, 100 lbs lighter and light years happier…

If you hadn’t decided

To Live Deliberately.

So, thank you.

Love,

Chris

Christine is an INSPIRATION to many and Im grateful she agreed to guest post for us and didnt even make me beg.

She’s a 36 year old mother who has lost over 100 pounds through eating less and moving more.

She blogs at a deliberate life. 

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Comments

  3. “And rise to the challenge of who God created you to be.”

    The only way to live, isn’t it? Amazing.

  4. This post made me cry! Thanks Chris, you really do touch my heart very often. Inspiration is easy to find in blogland, but I don’t think a post has ever made me feel like this before.

  7. Chris…You took the words right out of my brain. That is how I have been feeling recently. While the scale has not moved much over the last 8 months, Your I DID IT list of is EXACTLY how I have been feeling lately. 2010 was the year I decided to LIVE…and the freeing power of living today and each day as today, and as you said, escape the prison of my low expectations and worthless thoughts! A big part of “seeing” that came from participating in MIZ’s No Excuses exercise. It was life changing (along with several other “thought” changing exercises. It truly was what I believed of myself, being my own gate keeper to low self worth…No More..and best of all, seeing your letter, i KNOW with all my heart…I will be where you are a year from NOW!

  14. This is so great; I just put “intention” as a word up on my wall as a reminder to myself to do things with meaning
    Katherine

  16. Wow! That is an amazing post! I am going to do two things with it….I am going to send it to my friends at work…the ones who avoid the mirror, along with me…for pretty much the same reason….
    and two, I am going to print it off and hang it in my workspace…

    I want to write the same type of letter to myself…when I reach my goal.

    Thank You Chris…I have added you to my daily read list..(no pressure, really! 🙂 )

  18. wow, that was pretty good! This inspire me to get one of those e-mail planification thingies and write myself a letter to be sent on june, 2011.It will be cool to forget about it and suddenly receive a mail from your old self =)

  21. Yep, that’s a bookmark. This is an AWESOME letter and it made me get teary eyed, because I remember feeling JUST like that – hopeless, helpless, and alone. AMEN to deciding to LIVE instead of letting life pass you by.

  22. That was just soooooooooo amazing, real, inspiring and I wish I had more words to describe how I felt when I read it!!!!!

    Thank you so much for sharing & to Miz for sharing you as well!

  24. *GULP* I hope you don’t mind, but I have copied and printed out that post and stuck it on my fridge.

    “You see, you finally figured out that you can’t grab hold of a new life and still cling to your old one.”

    That hit me between the eyes. It’s time to get serious, even though I feel success might elude me and that I am not strong enough to do this whole-heartedly. What a wonderful post. Thank you Chris.

  25. Outstanding and moving as usual. I’ve been reading Chris’ blog for a while and I always come away feeling lifted and thinking “I can do this.” Thank you Chris.

  26. Outstanding and moving post but I expect nothing less from Chris. I’ve been reading her blog for quite a while and she inspires me every time. She’s a living example that you can have success.

    Great writing.

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