Six life-lessons gleaned from the Petulant Preschooler

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photo taken by aforementioned ‘schooler notorious for chopping off heads.

After a jam-packed, nonstop, hotter than the proverbial mother f*cker July spent with my Tornado of a pre-schooler Ive learned a few things.

Stuff which is New!Different!Shocking! (Perhaps not.)

Tidbits which left me thinking GoodGoshINeededThatReminder? (Always.)

I give you what is pretty much an outgrowth of the Mindful Eating guest post she did for us.

6 life lessons as taught by the Tornado:

1. See the world as a jaw-dropping, wonderful place.
Iā€™m a writer by day and, in a cringeworthy way, Iā€™d employed this trite phrase more than a few times prior to having my daughter. My charactersā€™ jaws oft ā€œdropped in amazementā€ without my giving much thought to what this action would look like were it to actually happen.

Then our daughter arrived.

Then she grew old enough to notice and take part in the world around her.

Then her jaw dropped, LITERALLY, in amazement.

I saw it drop at the deer sleeping on our front lawn. At firemen spraying the fire hose across a gaggle of melting toddlers. At a whole watermelon being sliced in half. At my new tattoo.

We grown-up types may need to employ a gratitude board to remind ourselves of the jaw-dropping, wonderful world in which we live, but if you need quickfastandinahurry attitude adjustment, few things work better than time spent with a small child.

2. View strangers as friends youā€™ve not yet met.
Nothing tugs at my heart more than when my 3-year-old sees a flock of kids she doesnā€™t know and announces: Look mama! Friends!

I wonā€™t lie: my jaded tender MamaHeart immediately thinks/prays please be nice to my girl. But 90% of the time her new ā€œfriendsā€ welcome her with open sandbox-sharing arms.

Why? I can only assume that since she views the world through the lens of Iā€™m only here to have funā€“not fight! I bear no ill will or maliciousness. I already like you, People, and weā€™ve never even met! the other children pick up on that vibe and an afternoon of fun* ensues.

(*If by fun you mean with intermittent moments of reminding them about the tremendous benefits of sharing ā€” which I do.)

3. Be in the moment. Always.
ā€˜Nuff said.

Three year olds, while prone to tantrums, donā€™t tend to ruminate much.

Did someone else snag the last tater-tot?

Are the swings all taken at the park?

Those scenarios might be cause for severe heartbreak for my toddler ā€“ but only for a minute or two. Then sheā€™s on to the next thing. Life is too exciting for her to waste any of it focusing on whether she was slighted in the morningā€™s game of Duck Duck Goose. She, in her inimitable child-way, realizes if sheā€™s living in the past sheā€™s guaranteed to miss a whole lot happening in the present.

(Suffice it to say I wear the shirt seen here a LOT to remind myself of this trait she displays naturally.)

4. Imagine.
This post was sparked by watching my daughter play. I smiled as I saw her pretend to be a princess who was also an airplane pilot who could fly her plane down the streets of our neighborhood and pick up friends/pets along the way. In her child-mind there exists no limitations ā€“ let alone fear of failure.

Whether Iā€™m following suit and using my imagination to problem-solve real-world problems or taking a life-break and gazing at the clouds in search of animal shapes, my daughter is a daily reminder to me to let my imagination soar.

5. ZERO Multi-tasking.
When my 3-year-old plays with her stickers, sheā€™s not simultaneously watching television and pondering when sheā€™s going to take a bath. She, unlike her multitasking mama, doesnā€™t eat her ice cream whilst drawing a picture for her dad and making a list of what she needs at the toy store. She is, 100% of the time, solely focused on the task at hand.

As a busy grown-up, I know I try to jam-pack too many things into my day. My to-do list is pages long and, as a result, I multitask, rush through my day, and end it completely exhausted and frequently with not much accomplished.

Multitasking sounds great until, at least if youā€™re me, you give it a go and realize nothing ends up done to the best of your ability.

6. Love yourself nekid.
Yes, I said it, but I dare say that all of us (parents or not) have watched in awe as a naked, happy, entirely-comfortable-in-her-own-skin toddler frolics past us.

I adore how my daughter would spend her entire day naked if she could, as nothing feels more comfy to her than just letting everything hang out.

I know this life lesson isnā€™t necessarily one that would work for us grown-up types to put into practice literally ā€“ but I canā€™t help thinking a whole lot more ā€œgetting nekidā€ emotionally might help this grown-up type experience life in a much more open fashion.

What about you?

What life lessons have you learned from childish minds lately?

Please to hit us all up in the comments.

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Comments

  1. As you know, I have a lot of children, so I am oh-so-aware of how wonderful it is to see the world through their eyes. I’d say the biggest lessons I’ve learned from them is that the world is full of magic and nothing is impossible if you can imagine it.

  2. Is your girl related to my mother in some way? Because my mother also takes photos like that.

    I am blessed to have a 3 year old niece who has taught me that when you feel loved enough – and especially when you love YOURSELF enough – it really is OK to wear a tutu anywhere you want.

    Especially if it’s pink.

  3. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from Johnny: “You won’t know if you don’t try.”

    He spent the past couple of days at an amusement/water park with his dad, grampa & cousin (shamelss plug: photos just posted at Muffin Fixation!) and jumped right in to try everything!

    No fear … very little (if any) hesitation … and that’s pretty much how he’s always been (unless there are vegetables involved. Ugh.)!

    We have several playgrounds of various sizes within easy preschooler walking distance from our house and even the pieces of equipment that are labelled for kids significantly older than him, he tries. “But, sweetie, that’s for the big kids” I foolishly say. “But, Mommy, I’ll try” is the answer I get. And he tries. And most of the time he does whatever it is with some minor difficulty and frustration the first time … so he goes right back and tries again and nails it.

    So many times I’ve held back from this workout or that recipe because they’re obviously for the more experienced … but if I don’t try I won’t know …

  4. I live to multitask, MizFit and until this moment Id not thought of all I were missing while I did.

    I wonder if it is a form of distraction from LIFE for me?

    You need a book.

  6. As a grown-up type I think I view strangers as almost a threat.

    Not to my safety LOL but I grow defensive and fear they wont like me.

    I wish I could get back to how I was when I was your daughter’s age.

  7. Can’t get this out of my mind:

    “In her child-mind there exists no limitations ā€“ let alone fear of failure.”

    As adults we are told what to do and how to do it. We live by some loudly spoken and understood code. I think that is why I have sheltered WHO I am in the past years – I don’t fit into the “norm,” I am not Suzy homemaker with the office job, the Golden Retriever, and the 2.5 children.

    Realistically, I am who I am (like Popeye!) . . . I just needed a preschooler (and her amazing Mommy) to remind me that that is ok!

  8. I was giving Thing Two a ride on my back in the pool yesterday and when we were done she said “Thank you dolphin” and it made me laugh because I didn’t even know she knew what a dolphin was. And Thing One? Passed his swim test. The swim test I tried to discourage because I had no idea he could swim the length of the pool.

    My lesson yesterday was in the area of jaw dropping.

  9. My life has grown devoid of jawdropping moments.
    I need to change that.

    Want a babysitter? šŸ™‚

  10. And I agree with Edie.
    Write a parenting book so that when I am a mom I have any idea how not to screw up my daughter (if I have one :)) as I was.

  11. I ADORE this post!!! I have learned so many similar things from my daughter as well. They really do have so much life that we can learn from.

  12. I love #5! I find it so funny that I have to put so much effort into doing only one activity at a time – and doing it totally mindfully – when really, that is the way we are meant to function, the way we were born functioning.

  13. Every summer, it never ceases to amaze ME as to how simple life can be as it is for a 4 or 5 year old. My campers are perfectly happy making mouse tails out of jump ropes and pretending for HOURS on end.

  14. I needed to read a post about remembering all the joy that I have in my life. And this is it!

    Thanks Carla. You’ve made my Tuesday a better day.

  15. Yesterday at the office I made a remark to a co-worker about something I thought could happen (vague I realize), He looked at me as though I’d grown a 2nd head.

    When we lose our imaginations we lose our ability to dream big, too.

    Great post.

  16. Kids amaze me!

    I’ve learned a lot from my dog this summer too…hmmm…that gives me an idea for a blog post of my own! Thanks for the inspiration!

    • I laugh that people seem NOT to love when I say how similar raising kids and raising my 140 lb bullmastiff is—but its true.

      boundaries.
      firm but LOVING hand.

      done.

      (well kinda anyway :))

  17. We can learn a lot from the preschool aged kids all around us. I love watching them and learning from them. They have it right! I especially like #6 because my youngest is a streaker and is more comfortable sans clothes than with them on (unless it is a frilly dress).

  18. I don’t care what you say, Miz. The toddler is lucky to have a mama who has instilled the possibility of some of those traits in her.

    No kids, but I learn a lot from my animals. One of the biggest–they don’t have the ability to feel sorry for themselves. And because of that they accomplish greater things than would be possible otherwise. Example–I had a little dog who lost BOTH of her eyes, one at a time. After about 24 hours of being unsure of herself, she learned to navigate her world (which included the forest surrounding our house, stairs, and lots of furniture) with no trouble whatsoever, and nary a bump on her head.

  19. Great reminders! I need to practice the zero multi-tasking one more. I’m always doing at least two things at once. Even more so lately as I have added a lot more to my plate. Time to simplify more!

  20. Oh my gosh I love that idea of being a princess airplane pilot.

    I used to think I would be a ballet dancer who was on television.

    I love kids.

  22. I love these! “Strangers as friends” struck me in particular. I think I’ve ruined this for my kids. I’ve so beat the “stranger danger” into their heads. They are very cautious, even with the little people. Boo, Mom šŸ™

  23. We can learn so much from small kids. And I definitely think it’s important to get to know ourselves by playing, relaxing, and, yes, occasionally walking around naked (preferably in the comfort of our own homes ;)).

  24. Enough said. These will be printed and posted in my office. Complete with the photo taken by the Petulant preschooler.

  26. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS POST! Out of the mouths of babes as they say!

    The thing about this, Carla, is that you have helped make her what she is… I have seen other children that don’t act with wild abandonment. They hear & see all around them including in their home.

    I respect you so much for your being a wonderful role model for Tornado!

  27. My kids get mad at me for being nekid in my own room. It’s MY room for goodness sakes! If not there, where? Oh, wait. I guess not while grabbing snack from the kitchen. Or while putting in a load of laundry. Sorry kids. (I get dressed really really slow and sometimes get sidetracked)

  30. The “don’t multitask” one is so true! You never see kids doing five things at once. They’re always completely focused on some task–even if it’s not the one they’re supposed to be doing.

  31. Getting sweaty should be FUN! As a kid, exercise isn’t planned, it’s just part of life… My daughter’s song (July 27th post) is a perfect example. Watch the video… She’s having such fun. We need to remember this! Jump and grab a leaf on your next run, it will make you smile!

  32. There are many things my kids have taught me. One of my favorites is to do things every day that make you happy, even if other people think you are silly for doing them.

    (Watermelon seed spitting contest, anyone?)

  33. I was on vacation recently and it could have been that people were more relaxed but, really, it reminded me that there are more good people in the world than not. Most folks were kind and helpful.

    And, just yesterday, having my eyes dilated reminded me of the little *comforts* that are taken for granted.

    Thanks for the reminders…

  34. I love this post so much. I was just sitting here, mid-coffee, beginning a blogher but-i’m-not-going-to-KNOW-anybody panic attack, but now, with all of these Tornado lessons, I know that I can walk into the conference and say “look! friends!!” Haha. That child of yours is quite a genius. xoxo

  35. you shall have an amazing time oh M.M.

    everyone really is a friend you just havent met yet at Blogher.

    The thread of blogging is unifying.

  36. Saying what everyone else has said already.

    Thank you for the shift in attitude this morning and the day brightener.

    Tia

  37. I love all of these!

    Does your daughter give lessons in these wonderful traits to adults like me who have lost our ways? šŸ™‚

  39. I love the single-mindedness. Isn’t if funny how adults are rewarded for their multitasking abilities and then you ask someone what they did yesterday and who they talked to? No answer cause they can’t remember and weren’t truly paying attention.

  40. Eat when you are hungry. My eight-year-old niece would be out shopping with us and while we were ready to gogogo all day, we had to stop and feed her…and ourselves…and somehow, we all became a little more sane again.

  41. Oh, I LOVED this post… and loved hearing about your daughter and the way she views life. I can only imagine the great person she is turning into, and what kind of creative free spirit she will end up as an adult!

    My favorites were #1 and #3. I could just see her… love this!
    Loretta
    =^..^=

  42. These are oh so great! I needed to read #2 oh so much.

    Mine teach me that if at first you aren’t heard…get louder and don’t give up šŸ™‚ So basically, what they have to say matters!

  43. When my cousins visit I live so much more in the moment. Right now I’m doing 5 different things on my computer while planning the rest of me evening and my two upcoming trips. My head is spinning. I need to be more 8 years old instead of adult to save my sanity.

  46. As I was spinning with my niece, Fraggle (Her online alias), on Sunday I was thinking a little about these things. She just turned one and is amazing in every way.

    Funnily enough, I was also writing about the whole naked thing today.

  48. We just had this conversation at work the other day. Really, what more do you really need to know than these life lessons here? Thanks for the reminder MizFit and thanks to the tornado for being the bestest teacher evah!

  50. This was wonderful…now, we don’t have kids nor have plans for them. Thankfully we do have nieces, nephews, and friends with new and young children.

    I guess what I’ve learned is “say what is on your mind”. Kids rarely have a mouth filter…sometimes good, sometimes bad, but at least its honest, raw, and out there.

    While some fine tuning is the art of the adult, I think it is always prudent to be authentic and genuine wherever possible.

  51. Heartwarming post, MizFit! Thank you for the wake up call – these are the things that are important in life!

  53. Ahhh! You’ve given me such a gift in posting this. Because you describe my oldest daughter to a T. She’s never met someone who’s a stranger. My husband called her a ‘labrador’ for this reason, and noted that she’d probably walk off happily with a kidnapper if we weren’t very careful.

    Both girs are utterly happy in their birthday suits. DH came home from work, and they were in their usual attire (underpants) and he asked me if it ever occured to them that they might get dressed. I reminded him that the heat index around here is about 107 right now…But if the doorbell rings? It’s like you popped on a light in a room full of roaches. Off they scatter; modest they are. (Around everyone but us and close girl-family members).

    Both girls live #4 all hours of the day minus school work time and sleep. And my 9 year old is not a multi-tasker at all. I’ve never seen such focus in a person.

    And last but not least, both girls and my husband are jaw-droppers. Travelling with them is so very sweet. How much have I appreciated because one of them pointed out what my eyes just glazed right past?

  54. I just wrote a novel, and my comment disappeared, ugh!!

    To briefly re-cap: my eldest (9 yrs) is still living out your Tornado’s lifestyle. No multi-tasking, never met a stranger, and with little sis, is crazy imagineative. Both run around in underpants still (at home). If you ding our bell though, they scatter like roaches in a newly lit room. And hubby and girls are jaw-droppers. I have seen wonders I’d never have noticed because of their wide-open mouths šŸ™‚

  56. I loved your post & kept going back to the picture.
    My son would love if I went outside and played with him and my daughter would lost it šŸ™‚ if we hopscotched together like that.

  57. I don’t have children yet but have noticed this saame sort of thing when I watch them at play.

    Thank you for not always talking about fitness.

    Some days I am tired of fitness.

    Karen

  60. Love is unconditional to them. They don’t care what you look like. Or how you talk. Or what you do for a living. They love you.

    I almost cried the other day when Makenna (my 3 yr. old niece) came up and said, “Hey Brandi”

    To which I of course said, “Hey Makenna”

    And all she said was, “I love you ya know. You’re my best friend”

    Yep…this tough, non-crying, kickbox teaching, left brain engineer teared up.

    Awesomeness.

  61. I like that you says CHILDISH MINDS at the end Miz.
    I’ve learned lots from my childlike hubby.

  62. In so many ways, our daughter lives a more fulfilling life than I do, simply by always being in the moment. I’m too plugged into work / technology to really disengage. That is my constant struggle.

  63. I absolutely LOVE this post. If you don’t mind, I’d love to share the link to it on my blog for other people to benefit from it as well…it’s really an eye-opener!

  64. Kids really are the best teachers! Strange tidbit for the day: here in Minnesota they call it “Duck, duck, gray duck.” Seriously. It’s so weird.

  65. beautiful, beautiful post, miz. im reading so much goodness today! you’re exactly right about each and every bit of it. lessons learned from our little mens and womens.

  69. I agree with number 1. when we stop seeing the beauty around us in the world, that’s when we stop being able to live šŸ™‚

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