I’m a Formerly (giveaway/video post).

by

Or, more aptly put, a FINALLY.

(if you’re reading from a google reader there’s a video above)

I clearly recall watching as my mom wrote the note to my teachers.

Please excuse Carla for being absent yesterday. It was Rosh Hashanah.  A Jewish High Holy day.

My heart sank.

I was at the age (hello awkward tween years!) where all I wanted to do was fit in.

I wanted to melt into the Jordache-clad masses.

I wanted to place my bigassredcomb in the back pocket of my designer denim & slink down the hallways at school undetected.

And, at the homogeneous institution of higher learning I attended, that background fade’age did NOT include being Jewish.

It most certainly did not include toting a note from teacher to teacher (remember the days when you had to get these kinds of notes *signed*?) proclaiming the fact I’d neither been sick nor playing hooky the previous day–I’d been praying.

“Uh, maybe you could just say that you knew I was absent yesterday and not put why?”

I knew better than to hope my mom would lie & sayI’d been sick especially given the fact the previous day had been spent repenting for our transgressions.

You can imagine how the rest of the scenario played out.

Note remained the same & I dont know to this day if she heard my rather quiet plea request or not.

Mission not accomplished I tried different approaches to the same end.

I slathered Sun-In in my dark hair each summer in an attempt to turn blond (results? ORANGE).

I begged my parents to let me join my friends at CCD so I’d not miss out on any girl-bonding time (results? Horrified parents).

I didnt exactly lie but pretty clearly implied I celebrated Christmas.   I sneaked in & turned OFF our blue & white Hanukkah lights mere *moments* before friends came to pick me up at night during that season (results? Baffled parents).

Not surprisingly, the harder I worked at trying to guess what would make me fit in the more unhappy I grew.

The harder I worked at trying to guess what *other people* wanted from me in order to accept me as one of their own the more frustrated I became.

The turning point for me was Halloween when I was fourteen.

It was the morning of October 31st (devils night was embraced wholly in my neighborhood) and Id gone outside to grab the newspaper when I saw it.

Written in soap on the four windows of our garage were the letters: K I K E.

In that moment my life-view shifted.

Ive no clue to this day who wrote the word or if they grasped the gravity of what it  meant—but I certainly did.

It was my personal AH HA! moment of realization that there was no need to try and blend in or guess who the world wanted me to be/would be most accepting of.  The answer to who I was and whom I aspired to be was already inside of me.

It was almost another seven years before I grew completely comfortable in my own skin but starting that day, as I scrubbed the soap-letters from our garage, I ceased searching outside myself.

For acceptance.

For how to dresstalkbehavelook.

For my self-definition.

My relationships improved (from friendships to dating to parental) and I was more content as a person.

And Ive not looked back.

Life isnt about fitting in.  It’s about carving your unique path & creating an existence which allows you to be your best self.

My name is Carla & Im a FINALLY.

Finally Unapologetically Myself.

Now you.

What kind of FORMERLY or FINALLY are you now or working toward?

You may be entered to win My Formerly Hot Life (not!yet!released!) for the lowlow cost of a comment below.

From Formerly A Follower to Finally Self-loving to the Tornado’s Formerly Tantrum’ing please to hit us all up in the comments.

Two winners.  USA only. Winner announced 8.13.10

Dont wanna wait to see if you’ve won? You can pre-order Formerly Hot here.


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Comments

  1. I hope that when I am your age I am FINALLY where I want to be, MizFit.

    I hope I will be Formerly obsessing about what others think.

  2. I love your videos, Miz.

    I’ve never heard of this book yet my whole journey is focused on being a FINALLY.

    FINALLY loving who I am.

  3. You are such a fantastic writer, MizFit.

    I’d love to check this book out as I am slowly entering my own change to becoming FORMERLY OBSESSIVE.

  4. Canadian of course so can’t be entered, but I just wanted to stop by and say that the book sounds wonderful. Promoting confidence can do so much for us – I hope that in 20 years I’m still able to go out into the world without anything holding me back. In my opinion, you can’t pin an age on hotness. It’s all in your mindset and attitude.

  5. I couldn’t really say if or when I reached my formerly self. I know I am still on that journey to being my “Finally” self. I make no excuses for myself or my behavior. I am truly me and don’t care what others think or say about me. At least I’m honest and open and am not trying to “measure up” to what others expect of me. However, I am still on a journey to find WHAT I could be. I think that is a lifetime journey. I’ve been a student (still am), a sales person, a medical assistance, a paralegal, a secretary, girl friday, singer, actress, etc. You name it, I’ve probably done it! I’m learning to embrace my Jack-of-all-Trades self! At least I’ve done something in my life!

  6. I saw this reviewed somewhere else and must admit it felt a bit negative to me.

    LOVED the video MizFit and if you like her voice I shall give it a shot.

    Thanks also for sharing your story.

  10. I formally wanted to be the size 0 or 2 that all the girls were. I realized and STRIVE for to be the real me, despite my size. And finally to be focused on being healthy and loving my body as is.

  11. You never cease to amaze me! Thanks for being you! You inspire me! 🙂

    I spent my youth trying to go undetected. Sitting in the back. I didn’t have a voice, any voice. I was so afraid of not fitting in that I didn’t say anything at all. I made it out of high school with one very close friend and when we talk about high school days she remembers how painfully shy I was. I wasn’t shy, I was a scared person posing as a shy person!

    I’m not where you are. Haven’t learned how to accept me for who I am. Actually trying to fit in, which may be one step ahead of being afraid to even try fitting in!

    I accept WHERE I am and appreciate the process of putting one foot in front of the other. Hoping to one day find myself along the way!

  12. I love how out of something which could have made you negative you discovered a positive.
    I can’t recall who said you were a rational voice in an irrational industry but they were right.

    I am working to be finally me.

  13. I don’t shop at Forever 21 and I never, ever wear animal prints! Does that qualify as knowing you’re formerly hot? Maybe. I still wear the occasional short skirt, but I have amazing legs, so, why not? Okay, perhaps i’m still a bit in denial.

    Guess I’ll have to read the book one way or the other . . .

  14. Oh how I could relate to this post. I grew up in an American/Serbian household. I was mortified when my dad and grandparents would speak Serbian to me while my friends were around and I would pretend I didn’t understand. My friends would laugh at the ethnic food I would eat, they laughed at the traditions of music and dance, and they certainly did not understand why we celebrated Christmas on January 7th.

    Now as an adult I regret everything that I did to hide my non-american side. I feel like that part of my culture has died and that is the part that made me so unique. I no longer play the music or dance, I was fluent in Serbian and now I only know enough cuss words to get me through traffic, and now that my grandfather is gone and my grandmother is really old it is hard to recapture everything that I lost. Now, I am proud of my heritage and I am trying to teach my children as much as I can.

    Sorry for the novel.

  15. This book sounds really interesting. I think we all have those OMG I’m not ____ any more moments. Love the tank and the message that you can be the best you’ve ever been RIGHT NOW. <3

  16. I can entirely relate to wanted to blend in and just not be noticed.

    I was poor in comparison to my peers and never seemed to have the right ‘stuff’

    Now I know that doesn’t matter it took me until 48 to realize.

  18. Ummm… I totally wrote about this today. I even quoted you because you talk about it so often. Not the book but the idea that we can be a “finally” as you put it. When we can embrace the things that are different about us is when we finally become a “finally.”

    I think I’m on my way.

    Oh and I don’t need the prize. I do however need a wifebeater skin tight tank that says “HOT.” Not formerly either.

  19. LOL @ Ryan’s comment.

    I, too, channel the unapologetically myself when I revert to old habits and start to think I am less than.

    Formerly Apologetic.

  20. I was formerly luke warm, but the older I get, the hotter I become…wrinkles and all. 😉

    I’m looking forward to reading this book when it’s released. Thanks for the advanced review, Miz…I love and trust your insight.

  21. I am Canada too (we need more Canada gives! 🙂 I wanna read this now) and am not yet a formerly (too young) or a finally (too in process).

  22. as always Im awed and honored by your comments & their raw honesty.

    and the novel-length?

    I do always love me some novel-length musings… 🙂

  23. And to think I thought all the Jewish kids were so much luckier because they got so many extra holidays off. 😉

    I think we all as teens try to fit in somehow. It’s part of being a teenager–finding out where you belong. So glad most of us look back and say that was our “former self.”

  24. I love that you are “finally unapologetically myself”… I think I am coming into my FINALLY, but still struggle with being unapologetic. I tend to apologize or disclaimer a bit too much, and I think I’ll know that I’ve finally arrived when I can stand up without reservations or apologies. Thanks for a a beautiful post.

  25. That is quite a story! When I was growing up, the teachers in each class asked for a show of hands for anyone who would miss due to the Jewish holidays. I hated that. And with my own kids, while I appreciate the change of paradigm to “winter parties,” I am sometimes still uncomfortable when I hear the other parents complain about how they wish they could still do the Christmas stuff in school. I have to say that even at my age, I am still not totally comfortable. But now the issues are more mine and not external.

  26. Great post and video. I’m working really hard to become “Formerly Fat” and I am really excited that I’ve “finally” taken responsibity for my own health.
    I’m really excited about this book and can’t wait to read it. I just turned 30 and have really struggled to find out what I am. As in – I know I’m not exactly young anymore, but I certainly don’t feel old.

  27. At almost 45, I am healthier, in much better shape, happier and far more comfortable in my own skin than I ever was at half this age. Yesterday my 12 yr old daughter told me a shirt wouldn’t look good on me because of my “muscley-y arms.” Woohoo! Not formerly anything – finally ME!

  29. Carla, you have no idea.. well, yes you do… of how this hit home! What you wrote, me bringing matzo snadwiches for luch during Passover & feeling so embarrased, me going to CCD with friends & then getting kicked out for disagreeing with them. As shy as I was, I was still aaying my say way back then. So much more than this I experienced.

    Me, I am a work in progress always but working towards being Unapologetically Myself…. trying, trying trying!

  30. Hmm.

    I would say that I’m finally an athlete, and I’m finally putting the taunts of childhood behind me. That’s my secret rocket fuel, really. 🙂 I’m finally putting all that negative energy to good use!

  32. What a story, Carla … I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I’m Jewish too, and was one of the only Jewish families in my small rural town of (get this!) N.J. When people found out I celebrated both holidays (my dad thinks he’s Jewish but never officially converted!) they’d say “Well you’re half!” And I didn’t correct them for a long time. Finally, around high school(note: AFTER my Bat Mitzvah!), I started embracing my Judaism and by the time I got to college at American U (which has a large Jewish population) it became a conversation-starter, a bonding experience, something I was proud of … suddenly being Jewish didn’t seem so ostracizing.I still hate that I have to take a day of vacation to celebrate the Jewish holidays at work (I’d work Christmas but we’re closed…!) but I’m doing my best to just be who I am and accept it.

    A beautiful reminder to be unapologetically ourselves!

  33. I’ve actually been thinking about this a lot! I’m not there quite yet, but I am Finally starting to let things go and to move ahead with confidence. Sometimes things just aren’t meant to be and I must continue on. I’m Finally learning to trust me.

  34. Ahhh MizFit. I love your videos and this post hit home for me.

    My experience was different (reasons) but the same.

    Here’s to being unapologetically ourselves and FINALLY at home with who we are.

  35. Ooooh how I relate to this post! I consider myself a “FInally” not a “Formerly,” but the concept is still the same. I was a tall, gangly, pale girl growing up, and that is how I shaped my identity until I got to high school and everyone caught up to my gargantuan height. After I didn’t have that to cling to, I found myself feeling invisible. It took me a long long time to look at myself in the mirror and say, hey, I look good. And when I turned thirty I finally realized that no one was judging me harder than I was judging myself. Kablammy! There was the epiphany. I am a strong, independent, creative and funny chick, and even though that tall, awkward, pale girl will always be inside me, she’s not the voice in my head anymore. (Thank goodness!)

  36. I’ve never heard of the book before. Thanks for the honest review.

    Right now I’m a Formerly Insecure working to be Finally Confident.

  37. I read this book! I love your take on it. Me? I think I can say that I’m Formerly food obsessed and Finally getting comfortable with myself. It feels like a coup:)

  38. I was so touched by this. It brought to mind how cruel kids were to us sometimes because my dad was the Jr. High School principal. But I think it was some of those experiences that did the same for me as they did for you. I became proud of who I was and what our family stood for.

    As always, thanks for sharing and thanks for being genuine. I heard the author on your podcast and enjoyed her. I actually never thought of myself as ‘hot’ but I am definitely noticing the unmistakable forward march of time and age and think I would enjoy her musings.

  39. Did you see this book was reviewed in the New York Times too?

    I know I’m a MizFit fan 😉 but frankly your take on it makes me want to read.

    Does that make me Formerly Skeptical?

  40. Formerly obsessed with success and perfection that each little failure sent me into self destruction.

  42. This is an interesting post today. I am thinking about visiting NZ to see Mary/Keppa/Gemma and others. Anyhoha I texted my ex, who lives in NZ, to see if he had any advice as to what to do, where to stay.

    I just wanted advice.

    When I didn’t get the type of text I wanted back I could feel myself getting annoyed.

    Then I stopped.

    What the hell was I doing? This man is an ex, he doesn’t love you, didn’t give you what you needed…and yet STILL he validation of sorts is important to you.

    Bam. Smack. BangBoom. It hit me. I am still, a little, looking for validation outside of myself.

    So today..I work on validating me. I don’t want to be perfect or loved by anyone other than me to feel complete. I want to love all my bits and celebrate all that life has for me.

  43. I loved this post. Beautifully written. I am just me….that simple….not formerly, not necessarily finally, but I would probably venture to say “presently me”. I need nobody’s approval of who I am or how I feel. It was a wonderful time to get to that point of myself embracing me just the way I am – warts and all 🙂

  45. I feel awkward saying I loved this post because of the nature of the content/story.

    I love your writing.

    I could write a book about my struggles to become a formerly yet I will just share that I Formerly Gave Up.

    No longer.

    Thank you for all that you do.

  46. Formerly, I was a girl that spent every minute of my day chasing after others, trying to make their lives easier and more comfortable. Trying to make everyone around me happy and satisfied. This is not a totally bad thing, until you lose yourself in the process.

    I am FINALLY (working on) me…putting me first. Still allowing my inherent nature to nurture shine through, but not at the risk of my own personal needs, wants, desires and feelings. It’s not an easy road, especially when others are so used to the former MaryFran, but FINALLY, I’m putting myself first!

  48. Wow. I had to look at the definitions you (thank you!) provided for both CCD and Kike. First thought is, what the heck is wrong with people?? Second thought is, SO glad that moment changed you in a good way, rather than bad. How’s that for justice?

    I want to be Formely Ungrateful.

  49. I’ve been looking forward to reading this book. I am for sure more comfortable in my skin than I was as a teen, more comfortable in my 30’s than I was in my 20’s; yet, still feel I have a ways to go. It really is a journey. Thanks for your constant encouragement.

  50. I think that I’m still in the in between stage, working toward the FINALLY. I’ll be optimistic, though, and say that I’m formerly dependant on others for my identity and self worth, but I’m finally loving myself for the strange, quirky, overanalyzing girl I am.

  51. Wow, great post. Love those “aha” moments. Now I’m going to think all day of what mine were. And ARE, really, because I think they’re ongoing, even as we are adults. … I remember two right off the bat, both where I was finally not apologizing for what I was saying or what I was feeling. One was to a boy in college — blurting out an honesty between us that made him drop his jaw, but made me feel outrageously “light” (the lightness of total honesty). And one was in the hospital after giving birth, and having so many people come in, and not caring what I looked like (big deal for me in my 20s!). My priority had totally shifted: completely unapologetic for what I needed to do/be/look like to make my family exist and be healthy/happy.

    I’m still often apologetic for things I probably don’t need to be, but thinking of those moments makes me feel strong again. 🙂

    Thanks, MizFit! Great post.

  52. You always touch a nerve with me! We just left a hot and uncomfortable “gifted” vacation to come home. I didn’t want to offend the giver, but it wasn’t for us. My darling daughter didn’t want to disappoint me, she knew I loved the area, but was so miserable. I am finally becoming woman enough to do what I want. Mental health and strength as well as physical.

  53. I’m not a formerly yet. I just wanted to say I totally risk the bossman’s wrath by watching your vids at work 😉

    Love the vids.

  54. Wow. Reading this and even knowing that the awful word was written many years ago brought tears to my eyes and made me want to Hunt the Offender Down on your behalf. Then beat the word back into them, natch.

    I’m a natural blonde who always wanted to be olive skinned with dark hair. Um, right. So then I decided to be blonder. Since my mother would not cooperate with ‘real’ hair coloring, I snuck the Sun-In. It turned my blonde hair orange too!

    I have finally stopped apologizing for: what I weigh, who I am, what I feel, what I believe. I think I’ve dug out almost all of it. I am me, love me or leave me.

  55. It reminded me of the time when I was in grade school, maybe 4th or 5th grade where I REALLY wanted Gloria Vanderbilt jeans, AND designer boots, not snow boots and not knock off jeans…I didn’t get either, but I wanted so badly to wear those things.

    I applaude you for being your true self!!! Bravo!!

  56. “Life isnt about fitting in. It’s about carving your unique path & creating an existence which allows you to be your best self.”

    This is so powerful! I feel like just this past 5 years or so, and especially when I started my blog about a year ago, I am finally feeling free to be ME… and still learning who that is!

    Loretta
    =^..^=

  58. I love your willingness to share with us so that we can learn to be like you 😉

    Comfortable in my own skin is my goal.

    Formerly Uncomfy LOL

    Karen

  59. Formerly a Femanist – believing that my life had to look like something someone else decided, rather than who I am. I’m not anti-feminist, but I think at times groups (of all kinds) try to create a mold or a blueprint, and frown at any deviations. There is no mold in my life. Now I wish I could say the same about my bathroom. (that’s a joke there.)

  60. Ah, wanting to fit in – I think at every point in our childhood we do something so that we can fit in. For me, in 8th grade, it was swearing – I thought people would think I would be cool if I did.

    Upon throwing down my 5th f-bomb of the day, Carla Berkman (I’ll never forget her name!) came up to me with this look of disgust and said “nice mouth!”

    I didn’t swear for years after that!

    I am in my 40’s now, completely content on enjoying what I have instead of what I don’t.

    Would I love a gas stove instead of an electric one? Absolutely, but if it doesn’t happen, I am content that I am able to put good food on my families plate.

    Great post!

  61. I guess I am FINALLY figuring out which parts of me I like and which parts I REALLY don’t. There are some things I do that are absolutely unacceptable, and I WILL change them! And then there are the things that others may not like, but I don’t mind, they’re not hurting anyone, so those others will just have to suck it up.
    Life really is about choosing one’s battles, isn’t it?

  62. Wow. That entry has left me speechless. I can only hope to have as much self awareness as you. And I just can’t wait to be a finally.

    I sort of am already. I FINALLY care enough about myself to get healthy. That’s the first step, I’d say.

  63. Wow, what a story. I decorated every Christmas tree I could growing up – I always wanted a tree and my parents wouldn’t give in. It was my only real “jewish” trauma, so pretty minor. Weird thing is that now I’m an EXPERT tree-decorator and we usually don’t have a tree at home (my husband is a non-believer but was raised with trees) and I kind of prefer it that way – something about honoring how I was brought up…

    I read the “Formerly” article in the NYTimes this weekend – not sure where I fall on that, I’m not big on putting too much on the past, I find it best to find peace in the present…

  64. I’m a formerly cardio queen turned somewhatkindoasorta weight-lifter (with cardio thrown in) turned finally I’d rather lift weights than cardio anyday!

    I’d put a photo of your arms on my fridge for motivation if that weren’t so creepy sounding. 🙂

  65. Right now, I’m kind of in between a formerly and finally. I seem to be making progress, so I’m pretty content with where I am at this point in my life.

  66. Your story really struck home for me! I used to do the same thing. We lived in a very suburban area in New Jersey where I was one of maybe 3 hispanics in the school…yes the school!…and I tried really hard to fit in. I remember once I even ironed my hair (can we say Hairspray the movie!) but my life is different now. I look at my culture as my history and more importantly I look at other peoples culture as knowledge. So many people shun other religions/cultures because they’re different and now I listen to the differences with open ears and an open heart.

  67. Oooh I want to read this book!!

    and we are one, I too Sun-ined AND crashed CCD…and experimented with drugs, and dieted until I was sick, and had sex with the wrong people, and, and, and, and….

    formerly f*cked up, finally just Jacq.

  68. I love this post. I think this sums up what I’m writing about every day…I’m good where I am at this moment. I’m getting over the notion that I have to get “back to the future” at age 44 – back to a former me, back into some former skinny pants or hit a former number on the a scale before I remember that I’m beautiful and happy just the way I am, because I’m exercising and eating right, and dammit, people like me. Sappy, but true.

  69. Formerly “corporate” — suits,heels,nails,hair just-so always worried about image. Now tattooed and scarred and proud of me. Movin’ on…

  72. I am finally realizing I can do whatever I set my mind to – fo’ real!

    Oh, and I rocked Sun-in, too! Bwahahaha!

    Winks & Smiles,
    Wifey

  73. Powerful post Carla…As a too-few-Jew growing up in Omaha, Nebraska, I shared your exact same plight. We didn’t even live where the other Jews in Omaha lived. We were middle-class far suburban Jews. The only fight I ever got in and one was when a local hoosier (yes even more hoosier than the other locals) called me a Jew Boy. I demonstrated what that meant. And I went to school with the notes…and I had to explain over and over and over again why I wasn’t going to be in school. And I had to work with my teachers on tests, homework, etc.

    However, and with great irony, when we moved from Omaha to St. Louis after my freshman year of high school, we moved to an extremely Jewish section of St. Louis. Heck, the nickname for our high school, Ladue, was LaJew.

    Funny though, I felt the most in touch with my Jewish roots back in good ole’ Omaha with Rabbi’s that I loved and a congregation who was very committed to being Jewish instead of those that showed up on the high holy days to feel Jewish.

    Sorry for the long comment…since you and I are 1 year apart in age, I thought you might enjoy the shared experience.

  74. I am still a work in slow progress.

    A work who has printed this out & posted in her office.

    Life isnt about fitting in. It’s about carving your unique path & creating an existence which allows you to be your best self.

    thank you for all you do for us, MizFit.

  75. Hi Miz,

    Fantastic post and video (holy arms! you’re 41?).

    I read about this book somewhere over the weekend and was turned off by it.

    I saw it more as homage to things lost—not perspective gained.

    Loved your twist on the concept.

    Lydia

  76. I’m a day late to the Formerly party, but could NOT miss reading this post, which I think is one of my absolute favorite you have ever written. From the sun in to the Jordache to the MESSAGE, never have I understood your own personal mission statement more clearly. And I want to be a Finally.
    Signed your Formerly Reactive Finally Proactive friend.

  78. Reflection of the times past, good and bad, is not necessarily easy. But in general, it can be very inspiring for being better today and tomorrow. Thansk for sharing!

  82. oh carla that was just a wonderful wonderful post!! It’s one of the reasons that I keep telling people I love getting older, I am more accepting of myself

  84. This was SO me, too: “I wanted to melt into the Jordache-clad masses.

    I wanted to place my bigassredcomb in the back pocket of my designer denim & slink down the hallways at school undetected.”

    Instead, I was wearing second-hand jeans and eating carrot and carob “cookies” that were my mom’s idea of treats.

    I’m a formerly “worried what others think” now finally a strong mama!

  87. Reminds me of when all the other girls got chocolate chip cookies in their sleepaway camp care packages, and I got a package filled with … rice balls wrapped in seaweed. Made by my grandmother. Which I LOVED but was afraid to show anyone. For fear they’d call me a freak or pull the chinky-eyes on me. So I ate them in my sleeping bag in the dark.

  88. Way down here at the bottom of the comments 🙂 but had to say that this post touched me.

    I have let too many of moments as the one you brilliantly describe define me, Miz.

    I am a long time reader & remember when one woman referred to you as her FITNESS guidance counselor.

    I may make you my life counselor 🙂

    Helen

  89. you all rock. thank you for sharing so much here. being so honest and open. and for all your kind words. Im honored. By all of it.

  90. THANK YOU Carla for your post and for writing about my book. Carla asked me to pop in and say hi and I don’t think I’m ever leaving because it is SO INCREDIBLY GRATIFYING to read your comments and to see that so many of you can relate. I think we all strive to feel “gotten” by others, especially as we endeavor to accept ourselves as we are–it’s not always possible, but when it is it feels terrific. That’s why I wrote the book, so that people could see themselves reflected back (and to make sure I wasn’t the only one going through this–lol.)

    Of what you wrote, I can relate to Formerly a People Pleaser, Formerly a Self-Loather, Formerly Obsessed with Perfection, and a bunch of others. Finally is a much happier place to be.

    Have a good day!

  91. I just listened to this podcast while pruning my cucumber patch so now whenever I think about this book – I think CUCUMBERS! Anyway, I’m so glad that I’m still eligible for entering this book – I would love to read it. Shamefully I’ll admit it – I am formerly hot and now that I’m mid-thirties with four children in the suburbs I gotta rethink how to define myself!

  92. I formerly took care of everyone else’s needs and wants and ignored my own. But after watching my Mom die of lung cancer I became accutely aware of what I was doing to my body. I finally put myself, my health and well being, at the top of my list.

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