Fit Bottom Babies (guest post)

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A Bumpy Body Image

At 30 weeks pregnant, I can honestly say that I love my pregnant body.

Sure, I’ll be glad to be a little less clumsy.

And it’ll be nice to be able to bend over and tie my shoes with ease again. Not to mention take care of my bikini line, which I can no longer see.

And I do miss sleeping on my stomach and being able to shift positions in the night without having to muster all of my focus at 3 a.m.

But when I say that I feel like a whale, I mean it in the kindest sense.

I don’t mean that I feel fat—I mean that I feel how a whale must feel when she’s washed up on the beach: I’m not in an environment natural to this body type, and it’s darn difficult to maneuver.

As the belly gets larger and larger and as I see my tiny chicken pox scar migrate from down by my hip to way up my side, I do wonder how it’s possible that I’ll ever bounce back after baby.

How does a stomach the size of a basketball ever return to its previous shape?

If you believe the covers of all of the magazines, it’s going to be a breeze.

I’ll be on here in December bragging that I lost 30 pounds in just 30 days.

JUST KIDDING, I WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO YOU. And you know why? Because it’s ridiculous.

I think part of the public’s fascination with the post-baby-body magazine cover is that we’re all curious as to what the body really looks like after a baby arrives.

While Kourtney Kardashian (and countless others) bare their bods post-pregnancy, beware of the excessive Photoshop that they often encounter.   These before-and-after photos are so unrealistic—and we know that—but it’s hard to keep them from getting in our brains and thinking that it should be that easy for everyone.

I’m not going to say that it wouldn’t be lovely to pop out of the hospital at my pre-pregnancy weight, with everyone telling me that I look fab.   But it’s just not going to happen—and it shouldn’t.

First of all, you spend a good portion of a year putting on the weight, so it makes sense that it would take some time to take it off again. (Check out where all of that poundage is going.)

Second, while I expect breastfeeding to help with weight-loss, it’s not going to be a cure-all—and there are bound to be times when I’m sleep deprived and exhausted and I don’t have time to cook the healthiest meal.

And third: It’s not like I’m going to be out running marathons immediately after giving birth.

We need to stop expecting moms to pull a Heidi Klum—most of us aren’t going to be bikini or runway-ready a month post-partum.   And we need to remember how hard those new moms are working—and how much airbrushing is going into those post-baby-body photos.

Better yet, do me a favor: Stop buying those magazines!

For me, I plan to treat my post-baby body the same as I’ve treated it while pregnant: with kindness and patience.

Even though I look upon the stretch marks that are surely coming with dread, I know I’m putting my body through all of this for a good cause.

How about you? How do you feel about your pregnancy or post-pregnancy bod?

Erin blogs at Fit Bottom Girls & Fit Bottom Babies.

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Comments

  1. First of all, Erin, CONGRATULATIONS on your baby girl!!!!!!

    I lived in L.A during both my pregnancies, so you can imagine the pressure I felt to lose the weight afterwards. Except I didn’t. Lose the weight quickly, that is. It took me 1 1/2 years after the first and 2 years after my second. I also frequented the website “The Shape of a Mother” to see what women REALLY look like after giving birth.
    Finally, I reminded myself that if I were being offered $10 million dollars to appear on a runway 3 weeks post-partum and had a team of nannies, trainers, chefs, and personal assistants to help me, then HECK yeah, I’d’ve shed that weight pronto, lol!
    (We also need to keep in mind that losing the weight too quickly can hurt milk production, so if a mom is nursing she needs to hold on to some of those LBs.)

  2. What a freaking great post! I have not yet had kids, but always see those magazines and think…really? Its really that easy? It can’t be. So I’m glad someone is honestly coming out and talking about it. And I bet your belly looks adorable 😉

  3. I’m 26 weeks pregnant at the min and finding the whole body image thing quite difficult at times. I’m glad you love your pregnant body but I can’t say the same for mine. I guess I have spent so much of my life try to look or be slimmer (not necessarily succeeding either!) that to suddenly embrace being big, whatever the reason, is difficult. I know why I should but it’s hard to rewire the brain.

    I’m not thinking much about my body post-pregnancy. I’ll just cross that bridge when I come to it. I know it will take time and patience to get back into any sort of shape. I have NO illusions about being bikini ready in 30 days anyway! I wasn’t particularly bikini ready pre-pregnancy so that would really be looking for a miracle! 🙂

    Oh and I stopped buying those magazines years ago. 🙂

  4. Fabulous guest post!! It drives me crazy how fast people expect women to be able to get back in shape. Being a mother comes first and taking care of yourself in a respectable manner (not hammering your body at the gym) are what matter most.

    After my first child, I got into better shape than ever because I learned to be patient, respect my body, and let it do its thing. It took time though. I plan the same approach for after this pregnancy. No expectations, just caring for myself and seeing where my body goes.

  5. I was terrified of my stretch marks but I have to say that now when I look at them, I smile. They’re a badge of honor that marks the incredible triumph of having birthed a healthy little girl. So hopefully you’ll like yours too.

  6. I’ll be honest, the body changes scare the crap out of me when I think about pregnancy.I do think it’s partially because every Hollywood star is 10 pounds thinner after having a baby (hello, Nicole Kidman who must have gained, oh, five pounds). The thought of having a totally new body is scary. You’re so right, though. It’s natural and those nipped and tucked bodies on the cover of Us Weekly aren’t.

  7. The women on those magazine covers already represent a body type that only two percent of the population has; of course they are more easily able to lose baby weight. Their body type doesn’t gain easily, and drops it fast. That’s not true of the majority of us.

    Having chefs and personal trainers and nannies doesn’t hurt, either, as Alyssa pointed out.

  8. I’m 5 years post-pregnancy..and…ya…still working? I’m learning to accept the stretch marks and things I can’t change and focus on what I can change.

  9. My 3rd child is 10 months old and I swear it has been harder with each baby to lose that baby weight and get back in shape–probably because I am of course older after each baby. Just a couple months ago I had someone ask if I was pregnant again. So humiliating. She is also a mother of 3 boys but in her case she’s a dancer with a dancer’s body so I think she had no comprehension of how other women’s bodies take a long time to bounce back. She’s more like a Heidi Klum, I guess. It is not the only humiliation I’ve suffered by hauling around a still-fat tummy. I think even when I get the weight down the tummy will not return to normal. I’ve contemplated looking into getting a tummy tuck, in fact.

    Anyway, thanks for the great post. I generally avoid those magazines but my problem is comparing myself to friends I’ve met through fitness forums. I feel miles behind so many of them and it can get rather discouraging.

  10. I feel that my body is a wonderland – it’s given birth to two wonderful daughters, and a third on the way (I’m currently 27 weeks pregnant), it’s ran several marathons and even a few triathlons! Does it look like Heidi Klum’s? Heck no! But it’s done just as good a job as hers has, so who cares what it looks like!

  11. I like my body better now after having kids. Before kids I rarely lifted weights so I had 0 definition.

    Breastfeeding doesn’t automatically mean women will lose weight. I didn’t lose any until after I weaned. My body thought it best to hang onto every last ounce until it was sure it didn’t need to feed another human being. I was miffed because all I heard is how weight just falls off of women who breastfeed. I doesn’t for me and I know a ton of women in the same boat with me. Not a big deal at all. I just wish I someone would have told me beforehand b/c I started to wonder what was wrong with my body. There was nothing wrong with it at all. In fact, it was doing nothing short of a miracle!

  12. If it is any consolation I think most men are patient with there wives post pregnancy. We understand to some extent the amazing changes that just took place.

  13. Great post!

    I’m 32 weeks into my preg and I totally <3 my pregnancy bod! Sure, I wish it hadn't decided that I need to stop running but that's no biggie.

  14. I’ve never been pregnant and so I know that my opinions may be a little naive, but I can’t wait to experience having a pregnant body. It’s pretty much the most incredible thing on earth that a woman can carry a child, and I am looking so forward to not only the connection with my child, but to experience how the human body prepares to deliver life. But ask me again once I’m pregnant in the heat of August or something (not that this is the plan, mom!)

  15. *squee* yay a guest post by Erin!

    I think this applies to other situations too – there’s this illusion that losing weight can be done so easily, but it’s just not quite that simple. When I think about all of the struggles that I deal with, I’m just so in awe at the idea of a woman with small children trying to do all of that! There’s so much pressure to lose weight and keep it off.

    Am so happy that you love your pregnant body. My mum always raves about how much she loved being pregnant, hehe. I’ll take your and her word for it.

  16. When I was a new mother I was lucky to get a shower in every other day, never mind worrying about what shape I was in.

    I already knew from my mother’s stretch marks that I would be gifted with many of my own. He is 18 now and they are faded but still visible.

    I agree with not buying the magazines that show the fabulously in-shape mother after only 30 days. The airbrushing is only the icing on the cake. Let’s not forget the nanny, the personal trainer and the personal chef.

    Enjoy your pregnancy, embrace your shape (as awkward as it may be right now) and soon enough you will have a beautiful little bundle to shower with love!

  17. I love this! Erin has such a great attitude and perspective on this. I wish that I’d been half as sensible during my pregnancies (I tried, I really did!). Her child is going to have a great role model in her:)
    PS> I cancelled all my subscriptions to workout mags!

  18. Well… I am not pregnant. Though I have certainly been asked in jest a few times when I am due. I have the thickest of skin and the largest of hearts so such jest just bounces off me usually. But in all seriousness, I really don’t think I will ever miss being asked my due date again. Four months ago I looked 30 weeks pregnant, today I am down to looking like maybe 20; this time next year I will hopefully look like I have given birth and am proud as pucnh for my post pregnancy body.

  21. It is amazing how the body bounces back after having a baby. I sell fitness wear, and some of my clients seem to look like they were never pregnant only 30 days after having the baby, while others need a little more time and hard work to get back where they want to be. It took me a year.

  22. Between me and my husband we’ve owned more MP3 players over the years than I can count, including Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few years I’ve settled down to one line of players. Why? Because I was happy to discover how well-designed and fun to use the underappreciated (and widely mocked) Zunes are.

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