Doing the BUMP! with The Anti Jared.

by

CLICK ME! CLICK ME!

We interrupt your regularly scheduled MizFit-programming to talk about a post you may or may not have already seen.

To BUMP you on over there to check it out if you haven’t already.

Disclosure: I love me some Anti-Jared.  His blend of wisdom, raw honesty, love for his wife and snarkitude resonates with this misfit entirely.  I devour his posts.

Disclosure: I received the same PR pitch. I rolled my eyes, thought OUCH! SWING & A MISS PR FIRM!  and deleted.

Disclosure: I love beef jerky.

Disclosure: Im nowhere near as funny as the Anti-Jared.

 

EDITED TO SAY:  Comments closed. Please to see my last one if you want to know why.

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Comments

  1. Wow how gracious of Anytime Fitness!

    Hmm the word fat is tough because I don’t know that it specifically describes anything..it is more often how we “feel”. I feel fat, etc. There are definitely better words with less emotional impact to describe appearance

  4. I, too, love the Anti-Jared.

    I think Anytime made a poor choice in the wording in an effort to poke the (fat) bear.

  5. I view fat as simply a word now. Either we have too much of it or we don’t. It is a condition to heal not a word of derision. I don’t equate it with stupid, lazy, or undisciplined anymore.

  6. Ok I read both posts and am not sure what I think.
    It was a big mistake on Anytime’s behalf, but I see what they were trying to do.
    I wonder if Chuck has ever struggled with his weight?

  7. Disclosure: I love the Anti-Jared; I love Leah; I love the MizFit as much as both combined. I, too, am not as funny as any of you. And I really wish Anytime were paying $10.00 a WORD…

    Now that THAT’s out of the way:

    My thoughts on the word “fat” are the same as my thoughts on the “B” word (yes, THAT “B” word): It’s a word. This, as so many other things, comes down to its power over you, and to what degree (and in what way) you allow it to affect and influence you. It has as much significance and as much power – in whatever direction – as you choose to give it. It comes down to taking control over your reaction. I will never be caught claiming that doing so is easy – but I tend to get miffed when people claim it’s impossible. I’ve done it. I’ve made the choice to take whatever is said to me, no matter how it is intended, and consciously decide how it should affect me. It doesn’t mean the word is nice, or that people using it (or any other word) to belittle others should be excused for doing so – but frankly, I don’t find the word “obese” any nicer than “fat” – it’s just more politically correct. Overweight, heavy, stout, large, “people of size” – they all mean the same thing, and we know darned well what they mean, and they’re all hurtful if used in a derogatory way. We’ve demonized the word fat because it’s so often used as an expletive…but at the end of the day, it’s still just a word, and I can rob it of its negative power by choosing to class it as simply another adjective, not a judgment on who or what I am. The more strongly I react to it, the more I know that there’s something going on in my heart and my world that I need to address, because no word should have that much power over me.

    I can’t control anyone else, or the words they choose to use. What I can, and will, control is how I respond.

    I am fat. Does it feel good to say that? Nope. It also wouldn’t feel good to say “I’m overweight…I’m obese…I’m heavy…I’m corpulent” or any other adjective – because it’s not the word that hurts, its the fact that I’m unhealthy and I know to what degree that is a result of my own actions and inactions. That’s what hurts, but ignoring it and expecting others to dance around it is not going to fix it. One of my very favorite writers in the world authors a blog at Psychology Today called “What Fat Women Want”. She’s owned that word, by G-d – she’s roped it, tied it, and broken it to saddle. And I love her for it.

    All that said – if someone’s calling me fat in a critical way (which was not what was going on in that email at all), the problem is the fact that that person is making a snap judgment about me based on what they see, and communicating that judgment to me or to others. They are insensitive or downright malicious, and that’s a far bigger problem than a three-letter word. But it’s *their* problem, and I refuse to own it. It’s not about me at all; it’s about them – and it still isn’t the word that’s the problem.

    It’s just a word.

  8. Fat is a loaded word because we load it up with other words – lazy, undisciplined, etc. – and also tie it to our self-esteem. Does anyone want the answer to “Does this make me lok fat?” to be “yes”? At a basic level, someone has excess fat on their bodies because they consume more calories than they burn (for whatever reason) and that’s all.

  9. It was all slated to incite. Who really thinks money is allergic to fat people 😉

    It incited!
    So it worked.

  10. interesting topic and a tough one too. there are a lot of topics like this where one side will get offended because of some word, as others use it loosely and see no harm it. it all starts in the eye of the beholder I guess. But I do think some words need to be used carefully, but not sure about the word fat. as we all have fat days.

  11. Tony’s post was an interesting counterbalance to what I’d read from Leah.

    I wonder if Chuck Runyon has struggle with his weight and if the PR firm was fired.

  12. Found out my kids love jerky–swing and a hit! In our house, “fat”–the good sorts of course–are part of a healthy diet. The kids and I have only discussed “fat” as a describer of people while watching Biggest Loser. Teaching moment. Like you Miz, I find myself being careful–maybe too careful?–in the discussion. Kids don’t talk about us being “straight” though:-) (Sorry that was pretty funny)…

  14. Anytime got what they wanted: Attention

    As for the word “Fat”…. it’s subjective. The scale of what’s considered fat is simply too great that it literally doesn’t mean anything. To me, anyway.

  16. I have issues with certain words that are so easily used these days.

    The other “F” word (yes…the slur)
    The “N” word (yes…that slur too)
    And the “R” word (a real word, but more often than not used as a slur)

    I agree that words only have power if we give it to them, but I truly feel that certain words (points upwards at ones previously named) have been given so much power by being used so loosely that they’ve taken on a life of their own.

    In our house the word “fat” is not used and neither are the words listed above because I choose not to perpetuate the negativity that always goes along with them.

    I guess, in the end, I find them offensive.

    And I also want to propose Anytime Fitness opt for $10 a word!!

  17. I’m not going to politicize this comment. Opinions are like onions: they stink and make me cry. Tony is the shit! Miz is the shit! I am the shit! The only thing that matters is taking your life back and of you’re doing that then you too are the shit!!!

  18. I posted this on his site:

    I don’t know if people judge those of us that are over weight, but I sure feel self conscious working out. I don’t like being called fat, even though I am. With all things though I think there comes a point where you have to own your faults and ignore what people are saying.

    I will say this I agree with Leah that someone calling me fat to my face is not going to motivate me to workout, positive reinforcement will.

    And wanted to add this I may still be 30 pounds heavier then I was in my 20’s (when I was skinny and sexy) but that said I am 100X healthier because I am more active, quit smoking, quit pop and eat better. Age and 5 kids has changed my body and while I will continue to work towards good health and teaching my kids along the way.

  19. Honestly I’m glad it sparked discussion, it got people thinking no matter how poorly they did it. Airing prejudices makes them go away …

    I can’t help but wonder who’s paying the $10 per post is it the PR company or Chuck himself?

    Sorry about your server problems Carla, that stinks …

    L

  20. First off – It’s $50 a comment not $10 and thank you to you and Tony for cutting through the issue and supporting a cause that is meaningful no matter how we feel about the word…….. and here is what my $50 contribution said:

    Ah..the war of words:

    It boils down to each individuals history, experiences, and personal interpretation of the meaning of the word.

    Each race, each religion, each economic level, sexual orientation and each individual has a word or two that can trigger that inner rage against all the wrongs done to us.

    As the first sentence of this post states: “Sometimes, the words we choose can impact others in ways we never imagined.”

    That should perhaps be the silver lining on the golden rule!

  21. Ya know I luv me my Miz Fit and Leah and Anti-Jared rocks da house too and I’ve seen the whole thing on other blogs and honestly for me…’fat’ is a word…holds no power unless I give it power.
    Is it nice to call someone? NOPE
    Will it motivate someone to workout or lose weight? NOPE
    but it sure incited a lot of talk, traffic and buzz!
    mission accomplished…IMO

    which sadly brings me to the flip side…while the majority gets in an uproar about ‘fat’ why does hardly anyone get in an uproar when people call otehrs ‘skinny, too thin, anorexic (when not anorexic)? why isn’t there an uproar about that…

    people consider calling someone fat ‘bullying’ yet people can call thinner people all kinds of names and be mean yet that’s not considered bullying?

    Sorry for mini rant there but my teen goes through hell because of people and their stupid comments because she’s naturally thin…why does nobody make an uproar about those names? but yet all hell breaks loose if someone says ‘fat’?

    ok shuttin up and going to limbs for life since that holds a place to me since my ex only has one hand…

  22. When I first heard about what Chuck said I just kinda rolled my eyes and saw it as more evidence of the size-ist society we live in and all the misunderstanding that surrounds weight (both up and down). I wrote him off as just one more blowhard. Of course it was a little worse than your average Joe considering his business – sheesh! – but I do applaud his efforts at raising money for charity. It’s better than doing nothing, which is what a lot of other rude people have done…

  23. I think it’s odd that someone connected with a gym would even go there with the fat comment…I’d think the last thing he’d want to do is make “fat” people feel excluded from his place of business. For me, it was hard enough to start working out without thinking that all the fit people were judging me…but KNOWING that the company’s president really does that? Not good.

  24. A few things…

    1. I have a lot of typos in my posts. I saw that I put Lean instead of Leah. I just need to fix it.

    2. Anytime Fitness has done a lot for me and for a lot of other people. I have met a lot of their success stories.

    3. I thought the PR pitch was poor, yet it did not call anyone fat. It used the word fat in a ridiculous way.

    4. I closed my comments because I think it is unfair to have a rah rah session. I asked Mizfit to have her comments opened because it would be a much more fair conversation.

    5. I asked Chuck to donate.

    6. I will buy the book.

  25. Chuck Runyon summed it up when he said:

    “Don’t judge me, or the book, on only a six-word sentence. Don’t practice word bigotry without reading more of the book—just as you ask people not to judge others by their weight.”

    I’ll leave it at that.

  27. It may have been a poor choice (read: extremely tacky), but from a PR standpoint, it did generate a lot of buzz, didn’t it? It was an unexpected thing to say, and it hit home for many people. Weight/appearance and money are very sensitive topics, so it’s understandable why it got so much attention. While I can’t say it’s particularly respectable, I can say it probably worked.

  28. FAT is a trigger word and I disagree with using it to get attention. Sure, it gained buzz but is that the way you want people to think of your business – just a flashy campaign? They might have meant well but since so many people will likely NOT follow through with reading the content and just judge anyway.

  29. I would be curious to read the whole book.

    I wonder if the next mass PR email will be for book reviews? 😉

  30. Honestly, I’m with Tony.
    I’ve walked that walk. 406 lbs and hopeless…not in the external sense but honestly without hope. Two years later, I’m a normal body weight, a running coach and Spartan racer and I often get asked what the secret was.

    It was the one realization that Tony often touches on…what other people think is utterly irrelevant. Even the people who love you enough to MEANINGFULLY support you (posts to FB don’t count)are very rarely qualified enough to do more than free you from some of life’s business so that you can get busy getting healthy.

    Day in, day out, YOU have to make the choice. You get out of bed and get into motion, you must decide what goes into your body, you must decide who you want to be and RELENTLESSLY execute to make that happen. So someone you don’t know sent you an email you find indirectly offensive? Who cares? Does the book he’s selling have something you could learn from? Then choose to read it or don’t and move on…he’s not asking to be your BFF.

  31. So, I think it was a dumb PR pitch.

    Fat’s a generalization, but not a bad word. People are fat, heck I was fat. It’s an almost pointless word though,because it is so broad. Not entirely sure why it was in a PR pitch…but it seems to have worked. People are interested in the book.

    Furthermore, I LOVE this online coummunity or “tribe” as Miz calles it for its closeness, its willingness to support others,etc. But unfortunately, as with any group, mob mentality exists. People jump on the bandwagon of boycotting a book/business/etc they know nothing about simply because one of their favorite bloggers did. I appreciate you opening the comments up to what people think, we need to take the time to form opinions on our own and realize that as a group, a very large group we can unintentionally be powerful. We need to be aware. (by the way:that was a generalization of my own, I feel it applies to this situation,but am also talking about previous ones)

    Furthermore, the charity donation is a PR pitch we’re all willing to jump behind. It’s odd to me that the amount of $$ is based off the number of people you can get talking about it. (not pointing fingers,I dont know who came up with the idea of comment = money) That being said, $$ for charity is good…no matter what the motivation.

  32. Commenting for donation!!

    I hate the word Fat. Just like other words. I also don’t like the word Epic because it is used so much. Doesn’t mean I have to let it affect me.

    I don’t think the word fat should be a definition of someone. You have fat on your body, but you aren’t fat in itself.

  33. I realize I’m generally in the minority, but the word FAT holds no power over me. I look at lots of words through the eyes of my kids – my daughter thinks I have a “big butt” simply because mine is big enough to not need a potty seat. My son thinks it’s “stupid” that he got in trouble for tackling a kid on the playground during a game of football. And when I am being particularly mindful of what I’m eating for a period of time, I’m “dieting.”

    I think even smart people say dumb things sometimes. And LOVE situations like this because THEY GET PEOPLE TALKING.

    My two cents. Or, my ten bucks really.

  35. I agree with what Valerie said ^^up top^^ words only have power over you if you give them power over you…

    I was over 300 lbs. when I started running. I felt “fat.” I hated myself. My life was completely out of control. My knees hurt, my back hurt, my hips hurt, and I mean ALL the time. I was a MESS. But it was MY fault. I never blamed anyone else for my situation.

    That being said, I rarely if ever had anyone call me “fat.” At least to my face. Honestly? I wish they had! Maybe I would’ve woken-up sooner and decided to take control of my life had I faced that kind of negative feedback. Instead, I had too many people tell me (only AFTER I lost over 100 pounds) that I “look so good” or “I never realized how BIG you actually were” or the worst one “I knew you were fat and out of control, but I didn’t know how to tell you!’

    So, I guess my opinion on the whole fracas is that I think Leah was totally out of line and scapegoating Chuck for all of the perceived slights she suffered because of the word “fat.” And I think it was a petty attack to basically ask her followers not to buy the book and/or boycott Anytime Fitness (I read the blog, I know she didn’t ACTUALLY come out and CALL for a boycott, but in her story and wording I felt the implications were there).

    I think Leah TOTALLY went off the rails. But. I also think it was justifiable in Leah’s World, and she even prefaced it by stating the fact that she might be out of line because she is hormonal and pregnant after all. Everyone knows NOT to mess with a pregnant woman and her emotions! So, I automatically read the post with a grain of salt and gave her a pass on her “words.”

    I also love “the Anti-Jared” and I don’t think that this whole issue is such a big issue that the two of them should throw away their friendship and camaraderie over. It certainly isn’t a big enough deal to have an all-out online feud over. I’m glad that it has been dealt with this way. I’m always up for anything that helps out a charity. And I’m glad that Chuck is giving away ALL of the proceeds from his book to charity. For that reason, I will likely buy his book in one media or another.

    I think Tony actually summed the whole thing up best when he said:

    “You can judge a book by its cover. But make sure you read it, and then make a final judgement.”

  36. It was a party foul by the PR company.

    That said, I’ve received PR pitches that are so much worse and I don’t even get that many. It seems like someone like Leah who I know gets over 50 PR pitches a day because of the raving popularity of her blog, her community, and her brand should have been able to spot the email for what it was: a bad PR pitch.

    I’ve been called “fat” many times during my life. Is it fun? Not really. Yet, it wasn’t until I got some tough love from a doctor about my health that I decided I was going to change things. If a “fat” person is motivated by money and wealth then a book in a chapter showing statistics to prove that “fat” people make less money in the workplace might be just the thing that person needs start trying to live healthy.

    We all have different things that motivate us and different things that insult us. Making a generalization that “fat” people are offended by the word “fat” is no better in my mind than crafting a poorly-worded PR pitch.

    I have no problem with the word when it’s used in a descriptive context. I’m not a fan of the word when it’s used in a hateful way.

    Context is a funny thing.

    And I wrote this comment all by myself with my very own voice! No help! Even though I’m “fat.”

    • I’m with you on this — I had a doctor say to me “So… you know you’re fat, right?”

      It was the first time someone had the balls to tell me what I already knew about myself. She wasn’t trying to hurt me, she was trying to get me to open my eyes and have me take an accurate non-delusional look at myself.

      She was saying “So… you know you’re fat, what are WE going to do about it?”

  37. I miss the time I used to set aside for reading blogs! I love you and Jared….gotta get back to reading. Maybe I’ll get my mo-jo back!

    These days the word “fat” makes me want to run and hide, possibly bury my head in the sand…because I am feeling fat. Ugh! When I was in better shape and lighter the word didn’t bother me as much because I didn’t take it so personally. Now…it feels personal! Way personal! 🙁

    Yay Anytime for their generous donations!!

  38. Proper use of the word ‘fat’?

    to describe a THING – i.e. Avocados are full of the good fat…. I drain the fat off of my bacon…

    but to describe a PERSON using that word – to me – is as offensive as a multitude of other slurs I shall not sully your blog space with… Think of the words that have been used to describe someone who is mentally challenged or differently abled… why are those words no longer acceptable and yet no one thinks twice about the “F” word… when I read the original email, I was angry and a whole new “F” word came to mind… and it wasn’t Facebook…

  39. Okay, I think I’m going to be in the minority here, but I think the email from Anytime Fitness was fine. They clearly sought to speak to a very specific personality, and they did just that. Sure, it offended some people, but so does nearly every piece of marketing out there.

    As for the word fat? Sorry, but it’s time to put on my big girl panties and suck it up. Because guess what? For me, it’s true. I am fat right now. Depending on how you measure it, I’m anywhere from chubby to obese. So I can get mad, I can be offended by the people who use the word (toward me or anyone else) or I can change it. If I were perfectly happy with my body as it was, I could “own” the word fat like several plus-sized models and activists do. But for me, I’m not happy where I am, so I’m working as hard as I can to change it. So in the meantime, if someone wants to call me fat? I really, really don’t care. I know what I’m doing right (and wrong) so why would I let a single, tiny word derail me? It’s just a word, and it also happens to be a TRUE one for me. So I’ll let it be, keep working on healthy choices, and one day it won’t be true anymore, which means the word will have even less power.

  40. It looks like the PR stunt worked!! Surprise! LOL

    After skimming the comments I’d have to say my opinion is already perfectly stated here by Jules (Big Girl Bombshell). I’ll add that, at one time, the word “fat,” applied to me, could bring me to tears, full of shame/blame/guilt. But that’s based on my unique set of circumstances and history.

    Do I think the heading of the PR pitch (and the title of one of the chapters) is nice and helpful? Not really…it’s not compassionate and I have found that compassion works for me…it works for me to have it for myself and for others. But I also recognize that others are motivated for different reasons.

    There’s no one plan, program, or book that will appeal to and help everyone…not everyone has the same goal, the same body type, the same chemistry. But by golly there are people who want us to believe that their way is the only way.

  41. So the word doesn’t offend me. Nothing about the PR pitch offended me. It was written in a way to get busy people with a lot on their plate (no pun intended) to give them a look. I read a few weight/workout blogs but don’t read Leah’s (yet, since this has brought her to my attention) and they all have different tactics, different ways to appeal. That’s why there can be so many, to appeal to so many different points of view. I work out very happily at home. I doubt I would do a 24-hour fitness center for more reasons than anyone cares to hear, but I would buy the book if the price was right and the mood was upon me. Oh, and I could be called fat. No one but me has ever called me fat, that I could hear. And as a court reporter, I can make as much money as I want. But then I became a court reporter when I was thin (and young and sassy and had no fear of failure) so maybe it is the attitude more than the outward physical appearance that influences income.

  43. I wouldn’t buy a book with that title. The title tells me that skinny people are the only ones who can make money. It tells me that because I am “fat” I can not. It screams that fat people are poor trashy losers. That’s just the feel that I personally get from the title.

    • Can I re-shape your POV?

      Fat people are descriminated against when it comes to the hiring process as well as when determining raises. They have to work harder to prove they are deserving of jobs, raises, bonuses, etc.

      It’s not that fat people are trashy losers, it’s that they’re working against a bias.

      • The title alone makes you feel that bias, agrees with that bias and amplifies it. We know that some people look down on us. Should we say “Okay, This is how you see me. It must be right. Let me change for YOU?”
        No, I’m sorry. That isn’t what we should say.
        I, personally, should say to myself. My weight is not healthy, it’s not setting a good role model for my children. I WANT to lose weight to be be healthier, to show my children I can overcome my own obstacles.
        I should NOT be trying to lose weight to please some one else eyes, opinions or molds!

  44. I can’t express enough how amazing I think it is that this discussion has turned into a way to help a worthy cause. Amazing!

    As for the word “fat” – the main thing that bothers me about the word is when it becomes a way to DEFINE a person. A person is not about how much he/she weighs. I think an encouraging and supportive attitude can go a long way in helping someone better his/her health. I have a hard time viewing calling someone fat as supportive or empathetic. However, I also don’t agree with avoiding any acknowledgement of decreased health from someone being overweight and pretending like all is wonderful and the person is beautiful rainbows and butterflies BS either. Yes, a person has value for who he/she is on the inside…but we can’t live in such a PC world that we ignore the bearing obesity has on individuals, families, health care, etc.

  45. I struggle with the word fat because I think words, in general, are not in and of themselves evil. The minute we assign the words “good” and “bad” to words, I think we give them power and take away our own responsibility.

    So, while I cringe when I hear the word fat used to demean and demoralize, I also admit to sometimes using it myself (not against others…I’ll say that I feel fat, or that my fat jeans are too tight).

    I read Leah’s post. Then Tony’s. Then yours. And I’m filled with happiness that this has sparked a respectful debate AND a fundraising opportunity.

    As the writer of provocative headlines and newsletter subject lines (gotta get ’em to open it!) I think there’s some latitude here. And if you don’t like it, don’t go to that gym. Don’t buy the products. Absolutely, use your blog as a soap box, but remember that not everyone will agree with you…and make THAT okay as well.

  46. I used to embrace the term when I was heavy, but I think it was just me trying to be overconfident about something that I shouldn’t have been ok with. Obviously, I wasn’t ok with it. Fat is a truth, not a definition.

  47. I hate the word fat, but only because it can and does hurt people’s feelings, and sometimes those close to me. I hate that as a society, we’ve given this word power and for that, I would like to take the power away. It is just a word, right? Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me. Wish this were true all of the time.

  48. I think the word is used/intended as an insult, instead of using a kinder word such as “overweight”. As one would say stupid instead of “sweet, but not book-smart”.

  49. I’m not going to read the book – not interested. On another note, Anytime tried to bring me on board the way they did Tony. It was a very sloppy, unprofessional, irritating approach that I declined. Don’t want anything to do with Anytime. Waste of time. But I do love Tony. How you doooin’ Tony! xo (I hope this comment still counts as $10)

  50. I would have been very turned off by the pitch, but I’m glad that I was able to read TheAntiJared’s story and learn more about the organization.

    As far as the word “Fat” goes? It’s a word. It doesn’t have any power over me. I refuse to let it. I know who I am. I am comfortable with that person. If someone else is not comfortable with it, it’s not my problem. I have the power over myself. I have the power to change my physique from fat to fit. Fitness and fatness is a continuum and we all fall along it somewhere.

    Thanks to Chuck and Anytime Fitness for offering such a generous donation for each comment.

  51. 1, the word fat sucks. But I read his blog post and I think he’s right. When I was really overweight I felt like everyone was looking at me and judging me but it was because every time I looked in the mirror I judged myself. I was ashamed of what I was, yet I did nothing to fix it. Nobody did it to me, nobody forced me to go to the McDonald’s drive through at 2am, nobody told me to make sure I ordered a “light and sweet” coffee every morning. I did it to myself.

    And as for the article regarding the new book, I don’t see anything wrong with it. You know what? When I first started all I thought was “Working Out Sucks!”. I sometimes think that, like when it’s pouring rain outside and I’m walking to the gym only to get there and my sneakers are completely soaked. Let me tell you, that sucks! My best friend is starting her weight loss journey and she calls me all the time to tell me how workign out sucks. But she knows she has to do it to reach her goals. She also knows that when she steps on the scale weekly she smiles so bright because what she’s doing is working.

    • I really should have broke that down to more than 1 post! lol. I’m going to follow Anti-Jared now because that post was so honest and so TRUE!

      On another note, people want to talk about the word fat but we have to also talk about what people teach the youth. Congress passing pizza as a vegetable is all over the Internet. If any child I know tells me pizza is a vegetable I may pass out.

  52. I am fat. I didn’t get that riled up about the comment. The word doesn’t own me. I won’t always be fat. But I know what it’s like to be treated when I was thinner (like I was actually there) as compared to how I am treated now as fat (like I don’t exist). So when i do get back to my goal weight, lifestyle I won’t forget what it’s like to be on the other side.

  53. Fat is just a word. It can’t hurt you. If it hurts being called fat, maybe you are and you need to do something about it.

  55. I had a doctor tell me the reason I pulled a muscle in my arm was because I was fat and could stand to exercise. I was so horrified, embarrassed and upset. I went home and started dieting the next day. I went from a size 18 to a size 2 in 8 months and ended up in counseling for distorted body image and disordered eating issues. I made an appointment with another doctor and there was some sort of emergency and the “you are fat” doctor from the group saw me instead. He didn’t even recognize me, didn’t mention my weight loss and he was looking right at my chart. I walked out of the office and cried more than I did when I was called “fat”.

  56. Fat is adipose tissue on your body. We all have it. If you have a lot of it, and are “fat”, why not just accept and acknowledge it? I was obese. I accepted it, and I did something to change it. Why get outraged when someone else mentions fat? If I am fat, it is because I did it to myself. It is up to me to either stay the same or make a change, and other people’s opinons of my fat or lack thereof make absolutely no difference to me. Fat is a fact, live with it. Either choose to remain the same, or choose to live differently. Getting mad because someone mentions fat makes as much sense as someone mentioning eye color or hair color. It just is.

  57. This all makes me think…about myself, my family, and my kids. I have three teenagers who are very active and in excellent physical shape. That doesn’t stop my daughter from asking “does this make me look fat?”. And then there’s the joking that goes on (like when I go shirtless) about “dad being fat” (compared to my kids…you can definitely say I have more fat then they do). I roll with the punches…and have fun with it. Is this wrong? Am I teaching them wrong habits by allowing this? Or is it all just fun and goofiness? I like to think that it’s the latter – that we can have fun with this and know that it doesn’t define who we are…this one word (ever).

    Hmmmmm…..

  58. Unfortunately, I think the wording the PR firm used makes the book sound sketchy and unhelpful – to me it sounded like the headlines one would read in the National Enquirer. However, based on all the discussion surrounding it, I am interested in reading the book now, so I suppose it served its purpose.

    As for the word “fat”, I am on the fence. I am 50 pounds overweight and yes, I am fat. I am also short, brunette, and hilarious – all descriptive words. I think I would be more upset if someone called me stupid than if someone called me fat, since I hold intelligence to be more worthy than weight.

    And finally, money is a thing. It cannot have allergies. So there.

  59. Miz you are loved beyond words in this household. And we love us some Antijared Tony over here too. Fat for me can be many things: a word, a state of mind, fuel (just like Robby says). I am glad your blog has opened this discussion and as usual liked reading through the thoughts and dialogue of everyone who is contributing. It’s a grand gesture to have each comment worth a donation. I’m only too happy to have my 2 cents add a little more to the pot. Like my mate Tara says up there, if you’re moving forward with who you are – no matter what that looks like – you are kicking ass!!

  60. What I posted at the $50 site:

    I think the word “fat” can be the most harmful when used as a weapon against oneSELF. Because saying “I’m fat” can be code for “I hate myself.” It would be one thing if it meant “Oops, my pants are getting a little tight,” or “I haven’t gotten much exercise lately,” and then calmly going about doing what needs to be done to change that if it wants changing, but it’s SO LOADED. Especially when uttered by young people (mostly girls) or even older people who have been flogging themselves their entire lives. One one hand, it’s just a word but it means so much (harm) to so many people that I do think that using it is inflammatory. Which is probably exactly what the intention was. What Roni said: it sure generated a lot of Attention.

    That said, I’m glad to have $$ donated to Limbs for Life.

  61. I don’t like the way the word “fat” sounds when applied to a person. It’s got all the same hard, abrupt consonant sounds as a swear word, and a lot of the time it’s used the same way…

    But honestly, most of the time when I think of the word “fat” I think of yummy things like nuts and olive oil. Mmm. Tasty, tasty fats.

  62. The bad news: I’m fat. A combination of my hip giving out on me the very same month that I started taking abilify for SADD put an unhealthy 40# on my petite frame.

    The good news: I’m fixed now. And off the drug. So now I am able to focus on moving and eating and taking responsibility for weight.

    The bad news: Not exercising for a year means I need to get to the beginning and start all over again. Build endurance. Build physical strength. Most importantly: rebuild my mental strength.

    The worse news: the trainers who pushed worked so diligently on helping me build both that mental and physical strength aren’t there to help me this time. It’s all on me.

    The good news: I know what to do. I have 4 years of workout journals to look back over. I have friends in the gym who mention remembering me as a lean, muscular woman who worked as hard as the guys. I have my own mental pictures to reproduce.

    Fat as it’s used here is just a word. “Fat” is bra-bulge; “Fat” is a spare tire; “Fat” is judgement we make on ourselves or others. I choose to recognize the truth in the word but not allow it have the emotional strength others are giving it.

    The word itself is not tied to judgements like lazy or stupid. Those associations are individual’s prejudices. I choose to cut the ties with these prejudices and simply let the word FAT stand on it’s own.

    Before this kerpfuffle I had not heard of Chuck Runyon or his upcoming book. Now? There is a good chance that I’ll read it someday. NOT because of the poorly designed PR campaign. But because in reading comments about the book, it sounds like he hits on topics that I’m passionate about so the book would have hit my awareness.

    Of course, I don’t even remember the name of the book -and have to keep looking up to remember Chuck Runyon’s name. So when the book comes into my awareness, this PR campaign will not be part of that association.

    I think that will be a good thing.

  63. I tend to look at the intention behind a word or phrase before I go off the deep end, but I don’t always manage it. In this case, though, I think I would have viewed the email’s use of the word ‘fat’ as nothing more than shock-value PR. No idea if it’s what they intended or not, but that’s what it smells like to me. If so, I don’t like it. But, hey, if it raises money for charity….

  64. I’m reading all the comments now after being away all morning volunteering at a kinder.fun run.
    I’m learning about some of the commenters who’ve clicked from here to other people’s sites and left unkind words behind.
    I’m super exhausted and sensitive because I’ve not slept enough recently due to a sick child.
    I’m sitting and thumbtyping by the side of the road.

    I am very sad.

    I had intended this post to merely be a link to a post *I* found powerful in case any of you had missed it.

    I had intended this post to not serve as support for anyone or any thing beyond the reminder as phrased so so well by Tony that a books cover is often not indicative of its interior.

    I was pleased when I learned this morning about the donations dollars because I believe service is the rent we pay for living and was thrilled at the chance to have our dialogue serve others.

    I feel I made a mistake here somewhere along the way and, quite frankly at the side of the road in my exhaustion I can’t see my way clear to even where it happened.

    When I can get back to the computer I plan to close the comments.

    More than anything I’m profoundly sad. I’ve closed my comments

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