“Im sorry. You’re just not a priority right now.”
“Im sorry. This just isnt a priority right not.”
I saw this post last night before I unplugged for Shabbat and it resonated with me.
And, since Ive rambled here about 2012 being the year I strive to live my priorities, I wanted to share.
The exercise they suggest is an uncomfortable one (the mere thought of turning down an event or experience with the words “Im sorry it isnt a priority right now” causes me to sweat a little.).
The exercise they suggest is one we all do daily when we pretend (to ourselves more than anything) turning something down is about time more than choice.**
I encourage you to read the post.
You know, unless it’s not a priority right now.
**Im sure my Freaky Follicled friend will have a rant here about her lack of time and how she’d choose to do many things if she had the luxurious life I lead. There. Ive said it. No need to comment.
Lesli says
March 17, 2012 at 4:56 amGood article.
I realized long ago I am sending that message when I decline something. (LOL @ the Freak Follicled friend reference)
I always am sure I am ok with that message being sent, too.
Roxie says
March 17, 2012 at 5:28 amAs Brene’ Brown says “momentary discomfort is better than long-time resentment”. And I try to be true to myself and say “No”.
Great article and, as always, great attitude, Miz.
Runner Girl says
March 17, 2012 at 5:29 amInteresting point.
We do send that message whether we choose to or not.
Karen@WaistingTime says
March 17, 2012 at 6:25 amOh – I like that! Funny how sometimes such a simple change in words can be a be change in paradigms and meaning.
Deborah (Schmiet) says
March 17, 2012 at 6:30 amMiz, I think the scary thing about it is it’s essentially telling someone that ‘they’ (or what they are asking) isn’t as important as other things. Just saying “I don’t have time,” or making some other excuse – seems a bit more polite as it’s more vague! Though I guess what you’re essentially saying is that other things come first.
We talk about the issue at work a lot. ie. We have finite resources and if management expects us to take on extra work, something has to drop off and we ask them to prioritise for us!
Deb
Tess says
March 17, 2012 at 6:52 amHoly light bulb moment!!!!!!!!!! I’ve NEVER thought of it that way but now I ALWAYS will. I love when you up it as “priority” it changes how you think of the situation, person or task. Thank You very much!!!!!!!
Karla says
March 17, 2012 at 7:56 amwow that put things in perspective!!!
Lindsay @ In Sweetness and In Health says
March 17, 2012 at 7:58 amThat is totally something I really need to work on more. Thanks for the reminder!
Drazil says
March 17, 2012 at 9:19 amYou know what? I’m here commenting BUT I haven’t read the post you directed us to yet. That’s how scared the thought of saying no and making more important things a higher priority is to me. Alright, alright – here I go to read. Thank you lovey.
messymimi says
March 17, 2012 at 12:22 pmA logical extension of my earlier choice to not say “i have to” and instead say, “i choose to.”
Thanks for the link.
cheryl says
March 17, 2012 at 2:18 pmPeople DON’T live by priorities? I never knew this-I thought everyone learned that at an early age. Always have-other’s first, then me/my time. Not so scary.
Amanda - RunToTheFinish says
March 17, 2012 at 4:36 pmoh saying no. I always thought I was so good at this, but in reality I say no with my mouth, but my actions say yes.
Tara Burner says
March 17, 2012 at 5:32 pmI have no problem telling someone that what they want of me isn’t a priority and that I have more “important” things….of course this usually ends up with some pissed off people but I’d rather be straight up about it…
I have to prioritize, being sole provider of daughter, working for myself…spending time with God…valuing my health…those all come first and foremost before other ‘stuff’
KCLAnderson (Karen) says
March 17, 2012 at 5:57 pmAs someone who loves trying on different words, this post seriously resonates. Reminds me of understanding the difference between, “I can’t meet you for lunch because I have to go to the dentist” and “I’d love to meet you for lunch but I am choosing to care for my teeth at the dentist.” It’s the difference between “can’t” versus “won’t” or “choose not to.: I heart you.
Jody - Fit at 54 says
March 17, 2012 at 6:23 pmI just posted yesterday a saying on my FB page that said “Make sure when you say yes to others that you are not saying no to yourself” I guess that says it! 🙂
Sandy says
March 17, 2012 at 6:28 pmWith age I have gotten very good at saying no. Life is too short to fill it with things you dread. My family got a chuckle out of me saying “no thank you” to a Bible study. What I didn’t voice to the person inviting was “I have a yoga class at that time.” It’s just a matter of what I would enjoy most.
AnnG says
March 17, 2012 at 7:34 pmA homeschooling mom shared this with me this morning and my response was , “ouch”! That stepped on my toes! Priorites need to be reordered!
Jess @ Blonde Ponytail says
March 17, 2012 at 9:02 pmThanks for sharing this link–language is so important! Re-wording really makes a difference.
Jasmine says
March 17, 2012 at 11:20 pmOoooh, this is good.
I’m going to be thinking this now every time I think about whether or not I’m going to do something…
What a great thing to share.
Brittany @ Itty Bits of Balance says
March 18, 2012 at 3:38 amThis is such a great strategy, and especially one that is useful for a type A personality like me (always wanting to get things done). Thank you for sharing!
Kierston says
March 18, 2012 at 5:28 amI like it…although you simply couldn’t use it in every situation as it probably wouldn’t work in your favour…every time lol I think when it comes to personal things like exercising, eating well, taking care of yourself etc…that would be the best time to apply this strategy.
joy says
March 18, 2012 at 12:56 pmI needed to read that today! Thank you!
Keep focused!
Loretta says
March 18, 2012 at 3:06 pmI appreciate that article very much. Right to the point.
And even the comments here today were great! I’m definitely going to change how I word my “no’s” from now on. Thank you!
Coco says
March 19, 2012 at 5:49 amHmm. I guess I like the emphasis when deciding for myself how I choose to spend my time, but I don’t like it as a way to talk to other people. I would much rather you tell me that you are too busy than that I am not your priority, even if it means the same thing. 🙁
There also are times when it doesn’t mean the same thing. While my family is generally more important than my work, I leave them every day to go to the office, may miss dinner at home for a business dinner, and may go out of town for a meeting. (Also, my committment to work is a committment to my family because of the financial support/security it provides, so it is hard to separate the two.) On the other hand, I may reschedule a meeting around a lacrosse game because, for that hour, cheering my son on is more important that drafting a document that isn’t due for a few days.
Sarah says
March 19, 2012 at 12:13 pmYes, I worked out that I could have the time to do anything I wanted to once I realised I tended to MAKE time to do the things I enjoy the most and the important things. So if I don’t make something a priority I know its because I don’t want to, and unless I really NEED to, I try not to worry about it.
I would tell other people I’m busy rather than saying they are not my priority. My priorities are my choice, but that’s no reason for me to be rude to someone!
charlotte says
March 20, 2012 at 7:35 amSaying no always feels hard to me – I hate dissappointing people! – but I try and remind myself that for everything I say “yes” to I am automatically saying “no” to something else. And that something else cannot be my family. So it forces me to consider who I’m really disappointing:) Great post! (Both of them!)