Im a tremendous fan of Mara‘s. She’s wise beyond her years. She lives her life OUT LOUD and entirely authentically. She’s one of those rare women you meet OFFLINE and discover she’s even more amazing in person. This post is
at my demandby request. I think we all need more Medicinal Marzipan in our lives. And yeah. By that I do mean READ HER BOOK.
Infectious Smile McGee
At one point in my life I felt unapologetically broken. Every morning, I went to battle with my body like my life depended on it, completely coming apart at the seams.
I tried bribery: you can have dessert IF and only IF you…
I tried blatant punishment: you are absolutely disgusting! If you do not… you are not going to be able to go out with your friends tonight.
I tried reasoning, laced with an edge of self-loathing: look, let’s get real, you are repulsive. But! You do have a couple of OK qualities mixed in! Now if you could only lose 50 pounds you’d be back on track.
I tried validating myself: Well, maybe if you can get ____ to make out with you, then (maybe) you will be worth something. Maybe.
I’m sure I don’t have to tell you what happened next. And by next, I mean, over a fifteen year period of my life, where I continued to be deeply immersed in the ever-presence of my absolute, unwavering belief that I would be worthless until I “got skinny.” I put my life on pause, firmly holding the button down, until my self-imposed conditions for “living” were met – hot, smart, loved, popular. Then, and only then, would my life begin.
When I started writing about my body, I filled pages and pages of the type of self-destructive messages above. I wrote about every single moment that I had been made to feel less than. I wrote about all of the bad stuff that happened, the stuff I didn’t dare talk about out loud, just in case someone hadn’t realized the size of my body.
I lived in terror of drawing attention to myself, to my size, to my desperate inability to rid myself of the flesh that followed me around like a nagging enemy.
But through my dedication to writing down those things I had been stuffing down with food, mistaken “love,” and promises to be better next time, I found that slowly I was freeing myself from my own self-imprisonment.
Through writing down these stories – I was able to hold them in my hands, molding them into narratives that I was proud of, narratives to inspire thousands of other women to dig deep and not be afraid of what they found lurking in their subconscious.
Writing about my body changed my life.
In 2009, I set out to create a series of writing prompts for my readers to reconnect with their bodies, utilizing many of the assignments that had been so useful for me over the years. But what started in 2009, grew and grew, once I realized: It was not about my body.
It was about me. It was about what I thought I deserved out of my life. It was about what I believed that I was worth.
This week, I have launched the transformation of the series of posts – a sparkly new offering, Body Loving Homework: Creative Writing Prompts for Cultivating Self-Love – one part ebook, one part digital anthology, and one part self-study journey into the deep + dark recesses of your heart.
The how-to manual for using writing to reconnect with your body – and yourself.
It may feel like it’s all about your body. It may feel like it’s about shedding pounds or adding muscle or wearing your favorite dress again, but I assure you, it is about so much more.
It’s about YOU. How you live your day. What you’ve come to expect from your relationships. What you need out of your job. What kind of parent you want to be. Who you need to forgive to be able to let go.
It’s about giving yourself the support + space to dream.
It’s about cultivating a new reality, one that is perfectly fit for you instead of one that you feel like you need to make yourself small to crawl into.
It’s about what you deserve out of your life.
Mara Glatzel is a self-love coach + clinical social worker, and she works with women who are ready to create the lives they want — and deserve. She’s also a writer, and her blog — Medicinal Marzipan — has inspired thousands of women to heal their relationships with their bodies, and treat themselves with relentless compassion. Catch up with her on facebook, twitter, or join her body-loving mailing list for bi-monthly secret swapping and insider news.
Farah says
August 17, 2012 at 4:55 amI needed to read this today.
Amanda @RunToTheFinish says
August 17, 2012 at 5:24 amyeahh what a lovely idea!! i know so many women can benefit from this as it is something we often get pulled into unwililingly
Dre says
August 17, 2012 at 5:33 amThank you for this. I need to uncover my words.
Victoria says
August 17, 2012 at 5:50 amThis conjured up some tears. I think everyone (men included) have been in this place at least for a moment or two. My late teens/early twenties were the worst for me and it was all about being skinny. Thank you for speaking on self-love…
Michelle @ Eat Move Balance says
August 17, 2012 at 5:51 amWell said. Your honesty and perspective are so helpful. As a health coach, I know there so many people out there stuck in the same negative thoughts as you described. What a blessing that you have been able to work through this, and are now passing it along to others. Kudos to you!
Katie @wishandwhimsy says
August 17, 2012 at 6:03 amWhat a powerful message as we go into the weekend. We deserve a great life! Let’s stop beating ourselves up and focus on our positives. And yes, space to dream!
Kierston says
August 17, 2012 at 6:47 amIt’s about giving yourself the support + space to dream. <— so very true.
Barbara says
August 17, 2012 at 7:20 amGood reminder to strive to “be” the best we can be instead of simply reacting to what life throws our way.
Angela @ Happy Fit Mama says
August 17, 2012 at 7:52 amI think every human being needs to follow this advice. It is about YOU not anyone else. Thank you for sharing!
Mara says
August 17, 2012 at 9:38 amThank you everyone! I’m so glad that the post resonated with you. Please let me know if I can answer any questions about using writing as a healing force in your life – it is something that I have benefitted from so immensely. Thank you so much to Miz for extending the opportunity to share with all of you. xoxox
cheryl says
August 17, 2012 at 12:41 pmIt’s 2012-almost 2013. I grew up in the 60s and 70s. Why are we still having this conversation?
Pavement Runner says
August 17, 2012 at 2:08 pmGreat post… I take for granted that I am typically “ok” with how my body is. I know it’s not rock hard ab city, but I’m happy with my little belly and work daily at it.
Always great to hear about others “paths.”
Lisa says
August 17, 2012 at 3:17 pmCongratulations on your book! I’ve been following your blog for a long time and I love the self-love, positive vibes you share with us.
Deborah says
August 17, 2012 at 6:00 pmWow Mara… Obviously I know your blog and your work (also with GMFR) – but your comment about ‘pushing the pause button’ really hit home. I’ve done exactly that… which is why I’m 44 and still single and not in the place I want to be!
Even now, I’m waiting for my life to begin… waiting to become the person I want to be before… well, before anything.
I definitely need to ‘man-up’ and use your prompts!
Deb
Jody - Fit at 54 says
August 17, 2012 at 6:42 pmAMAZING!!!!!! Such a powerful post!!!!!! I can say that I relater to A LOT OF IT!!! Still do in some ways… but yes, that whole negative self-talk from early on – what life will be only is… I GET IT! MY negativity seemed to start when I got fat & got teased & felt different – that is as far back as I can remember…. it did absolutely effect my whole life. Thank you for writing!
Girls Run Faster says
August 17, 2012 at 8:36 pmI recently blogged about this very issue, something that is very dear to my heart. It’s my hope and prayer and other women will find blogs like these to find hope and start the journey of realizing how beautiful they really are.
Jess says
August 18, 2012 at 8:32 pmWhat powerful words. There are so many women out there who could relate!! I love your job title “self lOve coach”!
Patrick says
August 18, 2012 at 9:46 pmVery exciting, Congratulations on your book!
My belief, if we are negative with ourselves; our body responds negatively. We owe it to ourselves to be positive because we deserve a positive mind, body & soul.
Cohen @ NJ cataract surgeon says
August 19, 2012 at 4:18 amYou have such a great attitude, thanks for motivating us! Self love coach, lovely title!
charlotte says
August 21, 2012 at 12:19 pmThere is so much here that resonates with me – esp. all the body self-talk. And I agree that writing has changed the way I think about my body. Although mine’s been more of a mixed bag than Mara’s I think. I love the idea of her body homework though – I’ll have to check it out.
Lady Em says
August 24, 2012 at 1:21 amWow, i’ve just read the weekly writing assignments & wil give them a go. I’m trying to recover from Anorexia & so feel very disconnected from my body. Exploring some of these issues thanks to your well thought assignment prompts will hopefully provide me with another tool.
Thank you! I’ll spread the word!
single black women says
August 30, 2012 at 12:39 pmYou really make it seem so easy together with your presentation however I in finding this topic to be really something that I feel I would never understand. It kind of feels too complex and extremely vast for me. I’m looking forward in your subsequent put up, I’ll try to get the dangle of it!