Role model Monday: It’s how I do.

by

westlake soccer

DANG the ATX be hot.

 

This parenthood thing—like this LIFE THING—can sometimes feel like a crapshoot.

Im sill working at forty three to try and FIND and LIVE my passions—how on *earth* do I expect the Tornado to find and *stick with* hers at age six.

Last year we tried soccer.

It went ok but not great.  Id estimate she spent more time doing that kid-thing where they move their arms FAST yet shuffle sloooowly with their feet so they think we parent-types believe they’re running (<——ANYONE?).

She loved being with her friends.  She loved the promise of SOCCER! FUN!  She disliked the raging heat that was INVARIABLY awaiting us at the fields.

I couldnt blame her either.

Not that Id ever have told HER—but Ren Man and I began to dread practices/games for that very reason…and we werent running around!

carla birnberg, mizfit, carlabirnberg

Mama so sweaty.

She stuck out the season & I told her she could be done with soccer.

*I* was done with soccer.  *I* was tired of dancing around, cheering for her, practically STANDING ON MY HEAD trying to get her to run (…and not merely flail her arms).

I let her know I appreciated the fact she’d never.once.whined. about going & that we could try something new.

Something indoors.

Schvitzing.

She insisted she wanted to play soccer.

I let the summer pass figuring after the heat of THAT she’d change her mind.

She insisted she wanted to play soccer.

I signed her up—but soccer didnt really fit into our schedule this fall.

She insisted she wanted to play soccer.

I told her coaches we’d wanted to join them but the day/time didnt fit for us & that we’d join them in the spring.

I went to the Tornado’s Meet the Teacher morning and was shown her journal.  Inside was printed in large (misspelled) letters:

I LOVE TO PLAY SOCER

And because I apparently need a round ball to come careening toward me and smack me in the cranium BIG SIGN—-I heeded her words, shifted everything around and we started back to soccer.

She was an entirely DIFFERENT Tornado at her first game.

Afterward I told her how proud I was of her.  I let her know I’d noticed how hard she’d worked as an individual and as a teammate.

She looked at me part-frustrated and part-confused and said:

That’s why I wanted to play soccer again, mama. That’s how I do, mama, that’s how I do.

Later we talked about changing attitudes when we dont love something & really working (as she had) to shift our perspectives.

She insisted I shoot this video of her changing her attitude around:

 

Thats pretty much it here on ROLE MODEL MONDAY.

Today Im not hers—-she’s mine.

Im off to tackle my adult version of ‘getting out and running in the sweltering heat when Id kinda rather do something else.”

AND IM GOING TO ROCK IT.

That’s how I do.


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Comments

  7. Oh the soccer-thing. We’re a soccer to the gills family! I’m glad she likes it. I think I’m really the only person who isn’t into it (which is just so fabulous that I’m one of the coaches, right? Don’t worry, I’m all rah-rah-soccer when I’m there, but deep down my bliss is NOT on the field.) You know though, one thing I have learned with my son is that sometimes you need a season of feeling it out and not really participating before you actually DO. I seem to need that on multiple levels myself, aside from sports! New stuff is scary! But once you’re off and running? Woohoo! 😉

  8. Kids do seem to teach us what we need to learn.
    I love how blase they can be about what we find to be tremendous steps.

    • she says the key is to start and practice while youre yawning (?) then do it without yawning.

      I have no idea what that means 🙂

  11. Oh, the wisdom she brings. Love it. Shifting perspective is a big focus around here lately.

    Working on finding the benefits/lessons in things that aren’t necessarily fun.

  13. It’s really amazing when you see your child take charge, all of their own volition, to make a positive change. Major kudos to the Tornado for playing soccer in the summer – heat PLUS the sun beating down? That’s one rugged girl you have!

  14. I love that! Great way to turn the attitude around!

    (We saw a similar shift with Shoo – first season, we had to practically bribe him to get on the field. Second season, he was always right in the middle of the pack surrounding the ball. I’m thankful that our fall season seems to be going to be cool this year. I’m not a fan of being sweaty around the soccer field.)

  15. I love that she didn’t beg or yell at you to play soccer. She simply stated it over and over until you realized it was HER passion, not YOUR schedule. And her reason for it is just priceless. How’d you get your tornado to be so wise at that age?
    xxoo

  19. Oh my gosh, you are the Tornado are so wise. I am so glad she likes soccer. I tried it when I was little but didn’t like it. She can do it! Such a brilliant young girl 🙂

  22. she is precious, I love it. I actually did the same thing with basketball. I played in third grade and was TERRIBLE and everyone thought I hated it and would quit. Ended up playing 4th grade and scored 10 points my first game! A lot can change in a year thankfully. Glad she is having fun.

  25. Tornado rules. And you rule – for being an amazing mom who always tries to do what’s best for her family and LISTENS! You’re so open and willing…I love that about you. It’s kind of amazing what happens when we sort of get out of our own way, you know? Lord knows I’m working on that daily. xoxo

  28. I don’t have kids Miz but know from my experience with my much-beloved niece that I try to protect her from stuff but she always feels she knows better. And maybe she does.

    Plus I suspect it’s perfectly fine for us to enjoy things we don’t excel at – in fact it’s probably an incredibly good thing… how refreshing would that be (to not be a perfectionist, but do things for love rather than accolades!?!).

    I think it’s great that the Tornado is hanging in there with soccer even though it’s not your most fave thing. She has a mind of her own and THAT is very important!

    Deb
    xx

  29. Honestly, I have no idea what to write because this was sooo meaningful to me & the way you wrote it as I felt I was there as an outsider looking in on your life – but kinda inside being there. YOU ARE AN AMAZING MOM & WOMAN!!!!!

  35. But you ARE her role model. You’ve shown her that it’s OK to realize you were wrong about something at first and then fix it by changing your mind! Good for you for being her number one fan and support system.

  37. Thanks for the reminder not to let scheduling get in the way of what kids really WANT to do. Just signed my daughter up for skating lessons (even though it makes my Saturday absolutely crazy!)

  39. I’ve mentioned this before, but I love seeing and hearing about your relationship with your daughter…it’s truly special. You both are role models in how parents and children should relate. It’s a beautiful thing.

  44. every story i read about your wonderful daughter astounds me. she is going to grow up to be such a strong, confident woman! i seriously think we all can learn from the tornado. she must have a pretty awesome mom and dad! 😀

  45. seriously your child is way smart beyond her years…and sometimes I think the universe has to drop a brick wall on our heads for us to pay attention to what should be and not what we believe should be

  46. I LOVE THIS POST! I said this earlier today in my email, but I think that you are an AMAZING mom and an AMAZING woman. And it honestly brings tears to my eyes to see that little girl so full of happiness, positivity, and self-love! I hope I can do half as good a job.

  47. This post brought a huge smile to my face, Carla! …that’s about all I have to say – what a neat family, a great decision (and selfless, on yours and Ren Man’s parts!), and a wonderful daughter – I’ve got a lot to learn from her too!

  51. LOVE this Miz!! LOVE your daughter. I’m off to hug MY role models. I have two of them and their almost 3 and I can’t NOT give them the attention they need right now!!!!! Thanks for the inspiration!

  54. She’s got a style it seems to me
    Wearing bright colors and accessories
    And everything
    Look cute on that bright young tyke.

    Sometime I think when she’s on your site
    I might take her away on some special night
    And trade you one of my daughters
    If you think that’d be all right…

    Oh, oh, oh
    Sweet child o’ yours.
    Oh, oh, oh, oh
    Sweet Tornado girl.

  62. Well that’s that then, eh? Maybe you can buy one of those fans that mist water at the same time. Do those exist? They should, especially for the ATX heat!

  64. The video is too cute. She has the biggest smile of pride on her face. It’s so amazing the things kids can teach us and that we always have room to grow in parenting…but then I remember that they become their awesome little selves in part because of our reflection in them. So, good on you Miz. Good on you. And REALLY good on her for her determination and positive will. 🙂

  66. I love it when I think I’ve got my kids all figured out and then they go and throw me a curve ball…ok, maybe I don’t, but of course I pretend I do! And I love the tornado’s headstand…just like mine!

  68. I really like this post because I want kids in the future where I can support all their goals and dreams. Whether it’s playing sports or going to college, I want to do everything I can to make them happy. This made me realize that supporting your kids goals are not going to be easy all the time but the joy and content you get seeing them happy is priceless. I hope I can be a good father in the future.

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