The best little HEALTHhouse in Texas (courtesy of JackSh*t)

Seriously. There are no words for this post. I love. I honored. I laughed. I cried. JackSh*t is better than CATS.

 

Jack:

It’s just a little bitty pissant guesty post.
Ain’t nothin’ much to see.
No swearing allowed, THOUGH I MIGHT GET KINDA LOUD,
Dumb as it can be.
It’s just a piddly-squatin’ fun-time guesty post.
Ain’t nothing too wise at all.
Just lots of good meals (sorry… no refills),
Cuz there’s something healthy going on!
Something healthy going on!

We get stay-at-home mothers who want a workout fix.
Local folks in Austin, young boys looking for pix.
Now we used to get a lotta visitors, stopping by for a glance,
Then Fila did that video shoot, and we all saw MizFit dance.

Chorus:

It’s just a little bitty pissant guesty-post, nothing much to see.
No swearing allowed, THOUGH HE MIGHT GET KINDA LOUD,
Dumb as he can be.
It’s just a piddly squatin’ fun-time guesty post.
Ain’t nothing too wise at all.
Just lots of good meals (sorry… no refills),
Cuz there’s something healthy going on!

Miz:

Keep your workouts short, girls. Keep your meals healthy.
And don’t put yourself down now; don’t do that ‘round me.
Eat your peas and choose to exercise and you don’t need no other tools.
Cause everyone who stops here knows my special no-no rules.

Jack:

Yeah, everyone who stops here knows Mrs. Mizzy’s no-no rules.

Miz:

Robby Ray, start ‘em…

Robby Ray:

Pity’s not to be wallowed in
That’s the kind of thing a dumb ol’ loser does.

Miz:

And it’s not productive. Shauna!

Shauna:

I shan’t tolerate no ugly comments on my blog posts.

Miz:

Josie honey!

Josie:

And please don’t show us no tattoos.
No hearts and flowers on… wait… that can’t be right…

Miz:

You’re damn right, Yucky.

Brands love originality and that’s just what we’re selling at Miss Mizzy’s.

Do you catch my drift?
I blog ‘bout food and yoga and responsibility.
I teach folks how to work out enthusiastically.
If you don’t mind that I sometimes do it sarcastically,
Then we can get along.

Joyce!

Joyce:

Any bad habits you come in with, get rid off right now.

Miz:

Kelly Joe!

Kelly Joe:

Don’t eat any of that processed crap; that ain’t too healthy chow.

Miz:

Amy Lue!

Amy Lue:

Any one running a marathon had better make real sure that they’re fit.

Miz:

And if you really hate this post…
You can blame it on Jack Sh*t.

And as for quotes…
Quotations are something you don’t need
To get your daily inspiration.
What’s that about?
Keep them sayings and word wisdom off this place…
I know how to cross stuff out.
And nobody messes with my cross-outs.

And any questions you might have about how to get more healthy,
Don’t gripe, whine or raise a fuss.
Just email me, but I can’t talk now,
I’ve got to pick up the Tornado from the bus.
The bus stop’s thataway!

Chorus:

She blogs ‘bout Egg Beaters, Attune and flexibility.
She writes some posts that rhyme kind of elaborately.
If you think you can live your life a bit more actively.
Then we can get along.

Miz:

Well, howdy folks. It’s good to see ya.
Nice to meet ya.
Come on over,
I’d like you to meet Jack Sh*t…

Jack:

It’s just a little bitty pissant guesty post.
Ain’t nothin’ much to see.
No swearing allowed, THOUGH I MIGHT GET KINDA LOUD,
Dumb as it can be
It’s just a piddly-squatin’ fun-time guesty post.
Ain’t nothing too wise at all.
Just lots of good meals (sorry… no refills)
Cuz there’s something healthy going on!
Something healthy going on!