A Different Kind of Makeover (guest post)

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I’ve been watching Carla for years.

She was one of my first 5 friends on Twitter.. true. She inspired me to get my (big, incredibly painful Isis tattoo) after she did the Dr. Seuss sleeve. She clearly has a higher pain tolerance than I do. Like all of you, I love her warmth, her commitment, her real-live way of making it work on her own terms.

Here’s something you might consider, I hope it adds to your becoming more yourself, in all of the best ways.

One of the commonalities I’ve seen in women that make the big changes in their lives has been particularly interesting to me lately. But it really shouldn’t be…Once I named it for myself, it seemed obvious, but prior to that it hadn’t been as clear.

The women who contact me often hire me quickly. There is a certain kind of readiness. Sometimes it comes from a sense of “I have to do something” or a point of pain that gets their attention.

And sometimes it’s some of that mixed with something else. The something else is they begin to catch a whiff of who they are becoming. They sense who they could be in a stronger way than ever before.

The vision is bigger than the fear..and the excuses that come with fear.

Letting go of old patterns that create barriers to what your heart desires, on one level seems like it “should” be fairly simple (obviously we know it isn’t). If you’re unhappy, if you aren’t getting the things that you want and have a sense of what’s in the way it makes sense to drop those behaviors and find other ways to do things.

And yet it’s typically more complex than that. In our minds anyways. Which is where most of the push and pull takes place. What we believe we can or can’t tolerate.. how much discomfort there will be and whether we believe we are worthy of the challenge, fears of how big shifts in behaviors and choices may shake things up.

And it’s true.. there are shake ups when you get clear on who you are and begin to leave the rest behind. People around you may not love you for changing things up. But that’s a very big other topic. And if you’re in the midst of a breakthrough, you’re going to have to keep all of your focus on what you want most for you right now. Seriously.

But it’s also in our minds that it all unfolds, almost like magic when certain things are in place. And the big something I’ve noticed lately is when a woman, a woman really no different than you in any particular way, gets a whiff of a real vision for herself, what felt like obstacles are no longer a big deal.

Whether it’s changing your level of fitness, your weight, how you feed your beautiful body, or who you include in your inner-circle..the truth is that once you find the clarity of a new identity (what I call your Divine Identity), when it clicks in as something you finally see and feel for yourself.. the actions become inspired and not especially arduous.

The big deal is breaking through the heaviness of the identity you’ve been dragging around. The one you’re really attached to. The one you can’t quite believe isn’t wholly and completely “you”.

It’s hard to modify that one. The breakthrough comes as more of a “swap”. Just as you no longer wear the outfits (do you?!) that you wore in junior high because you’ve outgrown them. You found a new “look” for yourself..it’s a bit like that.

Here’s how you know what that identity, the one you’re stuck to might be. Over the course of a couple of days, listen closely to a very particular way that you’re defining yourself. Specifically what follows the words “I Am” in your daily language? You may be rolling your eyes right about now, even tempted to stop reading this (I am a bit long-winded in most posts, but hang in..).

You’ll get a very clear, if not particularly inspired, sense of the exact shape and size of your current self-identity. It may sound something like “I am so out of shape”, “I am so out of control with eating this week”, ” I am never going to get into those jeans”, “I am always like this”… You get a sense of what I’m saying. I didn’t say this was a fun exercise. But knowing where you are helps you know what you want to create.

The reason you’re reading this blog and others like it is to catch the energy of another kind of belief..

A different vision, other potential ideas that you’re putting in your back pocket. “for later”. But real change comes in present-time, in you making the decision to shine in the world.

 

This is an identity makeover…

 

Just the parts weighing you down (yes, pun intended.. those beliefs are energetic ‘weight’). The parts that support you, that bring you love and connection and wellness and confidence.. hold on to those.

In my 25 years of helping women with eating and weight related issues, the biggest shifts occur when women change their identity. In the present.. not in the “Someday when I …” way.

It happens on a dime when your vision gets crystal-clear and you’re holding it and can feel it in a visceral way, it becomes a beacon calling you forward-even if what you see in the mirror is not yet matching up. You live a new presence, new beliefs, walk in a new energy and it shows before you lose an ounce. You feel it course through you, and can’t help but begin to take small actions.

It’s a makeover that lights you up from the inside and informs every choice you make from the moment you fully connect with it. It’s yours, and your Intuitive Body knows exactly how to guide you.

It’s a gorgeous beautiful thing to witness, and to live. I want that for you.

With love from my heart to yours…

 

 

lisa-best:pillarLisa Claudia Briggs, MSW is an Intuitive Psychotherapist, Mentor, and Author of “Recovering Beauty”. She is the creator of IntuitiveBody.com and has been mentoring women around the world for 25 years.

For more blogposts and your free copy of “The Energy of Weight Loss: 7 Essential Secrets” go to Intuitivebody.com

 

 

 

 

 

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Comments

    • So happy that the ideas are ringing true for you, and truly appreciate your comments. And of course please know that I am an email away for any questions.. Knowing our Divine Identity is a great foil for the grooves our neural networks typically move into.. knowing what you truly are vs who you aren’t.. can let you reset your compass. This can be the most beautiful of all journeys when you come home to yourself.. I love it when you can lose ALL kinds of weight..
      With love and gratitude.. Lisa

  3. “It’s a makeover that lights you up from the inside.” I just love this! Thank you for this post! 🙂

  5. I love the examples you gave of the “heavy” identity messages…they’re often extreme, aren’t they? “I’m so…” “I always…” What if we kept that intensity but made it positive? “I’m so radiant”. “I always find time and energy to love my body in large ways and small”. “I never ignore my inner signals for very long.” Thank you, Claudia! A lot to play with!

  8. I find this sad and disturbing that there are so many women out there in the year 2013 that are NOT living the life they want? NOT doing the things they want? NOT liking who they are or what image they portray? In the United States? I can see that if you are a woman suppressed by religion and culture in a third world country you may want to have a “breakout” and leave the oppressive situation-but here? Why is that? I grew up in the late 60s/early 70s and I guess I am glad I did-because I made decisions at age 16 of the person I did NOT want to become, the paths I did NOT want to follow and never looked back. Can’t relate-and I am glad I can’t. You have ONE LIFE here…get it right the first time!

  10. I truly believe all of us have a Divine identity! I love that you used that phrase:) For me it’s a matter of fine tuning my focus to be able3 to hear that voice to the exclusion of all others – hard to do in our very “noisy” world:)

  12. Just WOW!!!! What a great post & thank you Carla doe sharing her with us! This part: The big deal is breaking through the heaviness of the identity you’ve been dragging around. The one you’re really attached to. The one you can’t quite believe isn’t wholly and completely “you”.

    AND actually a lot more but it is so true. Can’t say I have been good at what you say to do but it does not mean I do not try!

  14. Oh wow… very apt given where I am at this point in time – in the midst of making those changes Lisa refers to. I think I’m struggling though with the clarity and am on the precipice of owning that Divine Identity.

    Deb

  17. I struggle with the “Someday I will…when I…” thing. I do think the idea of an identity makeover is great. So many times we try to change the outside without working on the inside.

  18. Yes, re-identifying yourself, re-inventing yourself, re-defining yourself. My internal dialog has definitely shifted, and the “whiff” of possibility, of this new identity, definitely makes the obstacles less daunting. Love the philosophy!

  23. This resonated so deeply, thank you for this! I love the spiritual tone, very very needed in fitness today.

  24. I like that idea of the Divine Identity.

    Just yesterday I finished reading Steven Pressfield’s “The War of Art.” He talks about facing and beating Resistance within the concept of no longer being an amateur but becoming a pro. He indicates the transformation can happen in an instant.

    It seems to me that there is a lot of overlap between you and him.

  26. I am truly so grateful for your supportive comments.. thank you. The Divine Identity piece is something that’s so helpful to have.. it tells you exactly who you ARE.. as if the angels were looking at you.. what would they say? Not the size of your thighs, or what you ate after dinner. Who are you really, what are you made of.. What is the beauty and the light of you. Once you know that, you can know what you are NOT.. And when anyone tries to throw negative energy “at” you.. you will be increasingly clear “that is not who I am”..

    Anyways..would love you to come see me at “my” home.. IntuitiveBody and thank you so much for reading/writing.
    xox
    Lisa

  27. Self identity and self importance can never be overstated. Thank you for the inspirational article.

  28. It is refreshing to see something different being written from the normal articles. Many of us I think lose our self identity through unfulfilling work or relationships, it is important to rediscover this.Changing internal dialogue can make all the difference.

  29. Great posts. I’ve been going through a bit of an identity crisis lately and I felt like reading this was almost as if it was written directly to me. My favorite part is the metaphor of switching out clothes after junior high. It really put it into perspective.

  30. I really liked this. I think I’ve been going through this kind of ‘makeover’ for a while now. I’m 23 and it feels like a really weird age; trying to find myself and figure out what I want to do with my life and who I am as a person. This really resonates with me especially because I’m in a transition phase of a recent move and ongoing job search. Thanks!

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