Embracing change (guest post).

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The below is another installment in my series of guest posts on the subject of CHANGE.  I have nothing to add except for the fact Bonnie is simply amazing.  I covet her unflagging faith, her bright shining spirit and her ability to go with the flow and embrace CHANGE.

 

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I’ve always thought of myself as someone who was easily adaptable, a go-with-the-flow kind of girl who could transition from one city to another and be transient.

But over the years I’ve realized through different transitions and unexpected ups and downs that change is hard.

The idea of change is exciting to me but the reality? Well, choosing how I will respond to change is the struggle.

I met my husband in university in British Columbia, Canada, far from the California beaches where I was raised.  I grew used to the rain instead of sun, the small town instead of sprawling cities, the use of “eh” instead of “huh.” That was a change I loved!

I was ready for it.

Fast forward through 4 years of education and experiences, 3 of those dating Mike, to our marriage, when we transitioned from living separately and being independent to living as one flesh in a small trailer in the woods near Leavenworth, Washington.

It was a welcomed change; we were ready for marriage, for life together, for a built-in adventure buddy, for creating new memories like trailer life under beautiful mountains and skiing down our driveway because of all the snow each night after work.

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And then came another change.

Cancer.

A diagnosis out of the blue and exactly 5 months to the day that we’d been married. This was not a change we understood or were prepared for, but we chose to trust God in his direction of our lives and embraced this unknown change.

“Fighting cancer” seemed like an adventure of sorts to us, and with community surrounding us in Washington we were determined to get through it with good attitudes together.

But that was before the other changes hit:

We moved back to Canada (where we were headed all along, just not so soon).

We moved in with Mike’s parents in their basement at 5 months married.

Our days were filled with doctors appointments and navigating the new world we found ourselves thrust into in the hospital.

Our community vanished, having been surrounded by friends and support and now being in a new city, Calgary, without any roots or a network.

I got a job as a personal trainer and worked starting at 5 am while Mike recovered, zipping out in between clients to his chemo treatments and then back to the gym for evening clients.

Life changed.

Drastically.

All along, I really knew that God was in every day, in the bigger picture certainly, but I didn’t always feel him. Mike certainly didn’t.

After all, we were outdoor adventure guides, taking inner-city youth on life-changing trips! Why would this happen to him?!

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One month away from Mike’s 5 year cancer-free mark, I can’t believe all the change that this one big event has brought into our lives.

The course of what we do (Mike working at the cancer center where he was treated as a patient, me pursuing personal training with cancer survivors) has been altered.

Our perspective has changed. The community in our lives has grown, and grown to include the young adult cancer survivor network who have some incredible stories to share.

And we’re privileged enough to hear those stories through the non-profit we created taking young adult cancer survivors on outdoor adventure trips and by sharing their stories through our films.

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Change isn’t always easy.

And there are some changes that I’ve loved and others I never would have chosen.

But doesn’t change (and perhaps I could say even conflict) serve to move us in a direction?

Without change we are stagnant.

Life doesn’t get necessarily get better or worse, but movement occurs.

And movement adds life and action to your story.

Mike and I now choose to view conflict – chose to view change – as an opportunity for movement in our story.

Who knows where God will take it?

And that’s something I can honestly say, even if I’m not ready for it, that I’m anticipating for 2014.

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Comments

    • Thanks so much, Healthy Mama! Funny how looking back I wouldn’t change the experience, and it’s yet it’s NOTHING I would have planned or anticipated for our lives…

    • Thanks, Sara! I’m very transparent with my story, but it doesn’t always come up and not everyone has heard it. Thanks for the comment. 🙂

  10. That was really beautiful. Crazy how life’s curveballs can teach us wonderful lessons and create new perspectives if we’re open. Keep being vibrant living beings! Your light inspires.

  11. Bonnie, I love how simply you share this story. No judgement, no angst, just acceptance and moving forward. Whenever I see pictures of you and Mike, I’m struck by how strong and full of grace the two of you are. Clearly, a match made in heaven! xo

    • Glad you could relate. I think survivors and supporters go through so much and it just puts you on another level of understanding with others. Even others suffering chronic illnesses too – it’s a type of pain and such similar experiences that it connects you with others. I know it’s odd to say (my husband and I feel weird about it sometimes), but congrats on continuing to live through your journey!

  17. This is a great post and reminds me of to keep Faith because God never breaks promises. What a strong testimony to share!! incredible!!

  18. What a lovely guest post Bonnie. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your story and I can certainly relate. I’ve been through many changes and like you, some I’ve enjoyed and some I’ve hated but overall, I think keeping a positive attitude is the way to go. It can be hard in the moment but it makes such a big difference on yourself and the people around you. Wishing Mike many more years cancer free!

    • Isn’t it neat (although not necessarily wanted) that we can connect with others because of our sufferings? Going through hard things – different changes – makes you understand others and have grace for people. Cancer or not, we can sympathize as we ask those big questions in life. Thanks so much for your comment and well wishes to Mikey!

  21. I had the honor of meeting Bonnie face to face this last April. She exudes faith and hope. Her aura is light and bright, she smiles at all times, and yet obviously she has seen her share of struggle. I am in awe of her. She is love.

    • I could truly say the same things about you! Meeting you, although we didn’t get to connect deeply at Blend, was a true joy. It was one of my highlights! Your words really encouraged me tonight; thanks for sharing your kindness. 🙂

  22. This is beautiful and I am so glad your husband recovered. I was kind of reading this story with one eye closed because I so badly wanted it to have a happy ending.

  23. Wow – I knew from reading your blog that Mike had fought cancer but I didn’t realize how shortly after you were married the diagnosis came and all of the other changes. The thing that shines through from your story is the fact that you never gave up and the fact that you still have such a strong faith is amazing to me!!!

  24. The things that take us where we are supposed to be are never quite the things we would have chosen for ourselves. Afterward, though, we wouldn’t exchange them for anything.

  27. What an amazing story. I love Bonnie’s spirit and inspiration. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how life isn’t what I thought it would be. I was definitely thrown a curve ball in life when I was diagnosed with a rare tumor in my abdomen. The reason I became a personal trainer was to help people, like me, that have overcome physical obstacles. I love that Bonnie and her husband have turned a negative into such an amazing positive. They are such amazing people.

  28. Great things indeed!. I guess I’m loving the weather here in Puerto Vallarta. Been here 3 months and now moving on to Guatemala for a month in a few days. Training and traveling…it is a great Friday! Mud race this Sunday then Superbowl..it’s gonna be a good weekend.

  30. I absolutely love this. What an inspirational post, and I identify with so many of these things. It’s true that our response to change is what it’s all about. Once we can control our response, we can handle anything. Lovely post!! Xo

  34. Change is the only constant thing in this world. It is important that you are flexible in order to easily adjust or adopt on something such as on a new environment, new people, new work and etc.

  35. Finding purpose behind change and movement. It’s duly noted. Tonight my 21yo daughter just packed up the last of her stuff to move in with her boyfriend in another state. Ugh. It’s nowhere near the change that has Bonnie experienced, but I’m learning from her story nonetheless. xo

  37. Wow what an amazing story and couple! I can’t imagine how hard facing this kind of change musr have been, but it has justclearly brought outeven more beauty from your soul. X

Trackbacks

  1. […] today, I am so happy and thankful to be guest-posting over on Carla’s blog today. The topic? Embracing Change… I’d love to hear your thoughts over there as well. (Thanks for inviting me to share […]

  3. […] Embracing Change This is an incredible post from Bonnie over at Carla’s blog about the changes that they have encountered in their life together and how they have sought to embrace it and make something out of it. Bonnie and her husband Mikey are simply amazing. I had the pleasure of meeting Bonnie last year and she’s one of the nicest and most genuine people. […]

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