(our fancy ONLY for use while G.G. viewing cups.)
Once upon a time, 15 years ago (!), a little show named Gilmore Girls was launched.
I was a happy newlywed living in Chapel Hill, North Carolina and cared NOT AT ALL about the WB channel or its offerings.
Flash forward fourteen long years and I’d changed.
Gone were the dreadlocks and thoughts only of myself & growing my training business:
(who knew *those* were the easy days?!)
And in their place thoughts of moving, creating routine and maintaining lines of mama/child communication:
(yep. I now knew it would only get more complicated.)
I began to search.
I wasn’t even sure what I was looking for– I just recalled a conversation I had once with a personal training client.
“I have 2 degrees,” she said. “Both are from Ivy League schools. I never thought Id be a RAW fanatic, but if that’s what it takes to create a shared interest with my son—I’ll do it.”
I remember thinking:
RAW? Wow, that’s love. I hate wrestling. Is that what moms do?!
This same longing for a shared interest and connection was exactly what I was feeling a few months ago.
I wanted something she and I could launch in Oakland and maintain in Austin after we moved.
Something which might provide a thread of continuity in what I knew would be a bumpy transition time.
Thanks to a conversation with a friend (in passing. serendipity.) I discovered precisely what I’d been searching for.
A trashy piece of TV-fluff on the surface which has provided me opportunity to reinforce my mothering-approach with her without saying a word.
6 ways Gilmore Girls reinforced my mothering
- Change comes and goes. We’re *still* fine. Having not seen even a preview of G.G. before I’d not realized this was an overarching message and it was a timely reinforcement for us. For a child NOT in a military family my girl moves way too frequently. G.G. has reminded her it is all just fine as long as we’re together.
(child note circa 2012)
- Being a misfit is OK. From the oft repeated those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind to the messages I send about just be yourself it was a happy accident Girlmore Girls backed all this up. Rory is quirky, nerdy, and doesn’t quite fit in at Chilton. She simply chooses to surround herself with others who are the same and is happily OK with it all.
(tater tots + apple sauce + skull plate = our MisFit-Hanukkah)
- It’s important to allow the CHILD an opportunity to play expert. We need to empower children. It’s important to give them wings and not just create roots. We need to show them the wisdom they already possess. It’s important to let them lead sometimes. “Mama see? Lorelai is like you. She comes to Rory’s bed and asks her advice.” ‘Nuff said.
(photo credit & instructor credit: the 8 year old.)
- Money and material things do not make us happy. Two words: Paris Geller. (More words? Hard work creates a better life. There’s no need for reliance on anyone but yourself and your tenacity.)
(the best things in life *really* are free)
- Traditions are important even if they aren’t the traditions others embrace! From being Jewish to being adopted to being unapologetically ourselves
to our addiction to G.G.chances are our traditions differ from other families. That’s not just OK–it’s cause for celebration. Now we *both* do the traditional cowgurl dance to Gilmore Girls’ closing tune:
- wallow feel embrace the sad mourn (BREAKUP) as only then can you move through
- Embrace the sad. Feel all the feelings. Then you can move on. Ahh Rory. Your break up could not have come at a better time….for us.** Your heartbreak reinforced how it’s important to grieve (change. boyfriends. lost friendships. everything.) as only then can you you push through to the *new* which awaits.
(sometimes tattoo-tears precede real tears.)
- Have you joined us in our Gilmore Girls viewing? What life lessons has it reinforced for you?
**please do NOT share in the comments if this Rory/Dean break up is one of many to come. We like to be surprised. We still on second season.
Runner GIrl saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 4:02 am
I loved Rory so much when I watched the show, too.
Liz saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 4:26 am
I love this so much, Carla.
This could be an entire book.
Wendi saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 8:28 am
Do it, Carla!!
Angela @ Happy Fit Mama saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 4:44 am
I watched Gilmore Girls sporadically when it was on years ago. You have definitely sparked my interest in seeing again.
Paula saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 5:06 am
OMG the dancing!!!
You two make me smile.
Nicole saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 5:08 am
I guess I’ve been living under a massive rock. I have never watched GG!!!
Carla saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 5:10 am
YOU MUST (she shouts). I “avoided it” when it was initially on as I thought it wasnt for me at all 🙂
It really is smart TV yet there’s enough fun fluff to keep the child sucked in too.
Carla saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 5:09 am
I know the video is all kinds of the wrong way 🙂 but that was the first time she did it. now WE do it. no video unless the GOLDENDOODLE learns to control my iPhone 🙂
Cat @ B2B saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 5:17 am
don’t forget ““Oh I can’t stop drinking the coffee, I stop drinking the coffee and I stop doing the standing and the walking and the words-putting-into-sentence-doing.” This is a universal truth.
Carla saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 5:21 am
I LOVE how Lorelai makes me feel gooood about my coffee consumption 🙂
(but do you know how to make MY coffee? yes a bag of coffee and a cup of water) <—that made me laugh out loud.
and the child, too.
Tina Muir saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 5:48 am
This is awesome Carla! I am not surprised one bit, you are a little different to the traditional mother, but I love you even more for it! I have been watching parenthood, and I am so in awe of one of the mothers who has such a cool relationship with her daughter, it does make me think of you sometimes! Thanks for sharing!
Michele @ paleorunningmomma saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 6:07 am
I used to watch that show long before I was a parent, wonder how I’d view the mom’s perspective now. Love this post, so many great parenting/life points brought up!
Coco (@Got2Run4Me) saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 6:19 am
I am going to have to start watching – did you see my link about the Jane Austen connection? Another reason to feel good about this tradition!
Lindsay saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 6:39 am
i love how non traditional you are in your parenting yet set traditions that have a lasting value and appreciation. Yes, GG are my fav. But I think Misfit Girls are even better. xxoo
Susie @ SuzLyfe saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 6:39 am
I just binged watched the entire series this fall, having never seen it before. Lorelai is such an amazing mother, but she needs to take her own advice, methinks!
misszippy saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 6:42 am
I think anything you can share together as a parent/child is just about as good as it gets in life. I’m always on the lookout for these chances, especially with the teen son! (yes, I read a few essays in his fishing magazine yesterday for this reason)
Kerri Olkjer saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 6:59 am
I love that show. I connected with that show the first time around. It was a ‘teen mom’ that was amazing and not a loser (as media loves to show). She did something with her life and wasn’t ashamed. I could ramble on… When you said I was the Lorelai Gilmore of the healthy living tribe? Oh, you’ve no idea. 🙂
Maureen saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 7:22 am
You! Tornado! THIS POST! Just love it….the whole thing!
Annmarie saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 7:44 am
I used to have a GG watching party with my college roommates back in the day. We would feel all the feelings and discuss the issues that came up as it pertained to our lives. I haven’t watched the reruns really but I can see how it would be a great way to reinforce mothering when my daughter gets older . Right now we are bonding as she expresses her love for One Direction and I am learning to love them as well for her sake 😉
Jody - Fit at 57 saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 7:45 am
A beautiful post yet.. I have never ever seen this show…..
Heathers Looking Glass saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 8:16 am
I LOVE that show, always loved their relationship. EK will most likely be an only child so I find the show even more fascinating now.
Bryce saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 8:18 am
This is super cute <3
Marcie saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 8:25 am
Watch GG pre-Mama phase and didn’t think about the lessons. You captured them wonderfully. Now – to see if I can get the male child to enjoy along with me.
Bonnie saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 8:27 am
I love this! (and I’m on the second season too, so I won’t read the comments just in case) 😉 I think family traditions like this are so neat and important! Ours was “Survivor” growing up – we’d sit Wednesday nights with our snacks, watch the show and then up talking about life. I remember other people saying “Your parents let you watch that?” (we were little), but my mom has told me about all the conversations about life, about personalities, about people and it was good!
I love Parenthood and although my mom watches in CA and me in Canada, it’s something we share (oh man – more of one for you and not the Tornado – I bawl every.single.episode and always think, “This is just REAL LIFE!”…love that). Gilmore Girls has been good as Parenthood is almost over over and I’m only now getting in GG – love the life lessons and entertainment. Fun post! Thanks for sharing. 🙂
Fancy Nancy saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 8:31 am
A fresh take on an old favorite! Now I need to get back to it!!
Jill @ Champagne for Everyday saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 8:34 am
Aw, the GG Girls!! My mom and I used to watch this together when I was younger. We had our bitchy periods, but now we are 100% best friends. You have so much to look forward too!! 🙂
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Nancy Johnson Horn saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 8:46 am
Always loved The Gilmore Girls. For me, the best was that the mother and daughter always could connect (even if they didn’t always see eye to eye). Loved your post. Can’t wait til my daughter can watch it with me.
Kelly @ Cupcake Kelly's saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 9:07 am
Having a mother/son relationship vs a mother/daughter relationship, I realize that a lot of these lessons can still apply, but I think the most important to me is communication. In any relationship (spouse, significant other, sibling, parent, friend, etc…) communication is key. It opens doors and conversations that otherwise may not be had.
Michelle Smiles saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 9:14 am
So smart (the finding something to bridge Oakland/Austin).
Also, I’m a little envious of you experiencing GG for the first time. I love GG. I didn’t start until a few seasons in but thanks to the magic of reruns (pre-Netflix days), I caught up and loved it. I don’t think my girls would be into it yet (rather young viewing tastes in my littles) but will look forward to watching with them in coming years.
Carla saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 9:58 am
it really helped too (the bridging). from our few days in an Austin hotel to the new house and no furniture it was GREAT to have a consistent (and our red cups which I packed in my carry on :-)).
JavaChick saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 9:51 am
I watched Gilmore Girls when it was on, and have re-watched more than once. My baby sister is 11 years younger than me, and she says I am her Lorelai, which I completely relate to. We’ve always been close, so we didn’t need the show to help us bond, but I can definitely appreciate the reminders of how relationships change and grow.
Dr. J saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 10:34 am
lol!! Loved this, Carla!!
crabby mcslacker saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 10:56 am
LOVE this and I never even caught the show. Realize I missed a lot!!
Hope the moving stuff isn’t totally making life crazy. Know it’s a heck of a lot to deal with!
Brittany @ Delights and Delectables saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 11:03 am
I watched Gilmore Girls from the beginning, and have watched it through over and over… (I own the DVDs) I can say that show changed my life in more ways than one!
Katrina saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 11:25 am
Don’t kill me, I haven’t watched this show yet but I may now that you have shown me the light!
Christine @ Love, Life, Surf saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 12:04 pm
Gilmore Girls is one of my favorite shows. I don’t think that I started watching until it was in syndication but I really love the relationship between Rory and Lorelei. Fact, if I had a daughter, I was going to name her Lorelei.
Carol Cassara saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 1:32 pm
I never did watch an episode, but I loved your lessons, anyway.
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 1:47 pm
Love this! I haven’t seen GG in so long though!
alisa/icescreammama saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 2:42 pm
it’s nice just having a show that is yours and you watch together. 🙂
Kim saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 3:21 pm
Well, now I feel like I’m missing out on a truly great show – I haven’t seen a single episode. I guess I better check it out!!!
Michelle @ Running with Attitude saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 4:23 pm
I’ve never seen GG but I love it provides another parent/child bonding opportunity for you. Always a good thing to embrace!
Deborah saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 11:24 pm
I loved the show and watched it when it first aired. I can’t actually remember much about the final season (as in what happened to Lorelai) but I remember Rory growing up and moving on.
I wanted to be a mother like Lorelai but the saddest thing was I realised I’d already missed that boat (to be a young and hip mother!).
Anyway, loved the show and their witty repartee and mutual respect.
I think the show offers a LOT of life lessons.
Laura @FitMamaLove saysJanuary 12, 2015 at 11:25 pm
Such a sweet post! I was never into G.G. even though it seemed like everyone else around me was. Now that it’s on Netflix, I’m thinking of trying it out.
Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table saysJanuary 13, 2015 at 12:56 pm
Pass me one of those cups – I’m joining in! I’v actually never seen the show, but I love how you’re able to draw wisdom from everywhere.
Betsy saysJanuary 15, 2015 at 10:52 am
I love Gilmore Girls!
renny saysJanuary 17, 2015 at 7:43 am
Carla, your previous posts led me GG. Since then I have found myself channeling my inner Lorelei to get through many a situation. Crazy to admit, but I believe it has made me a better mother, friend and wife.
Meredith saysJanuary 17, 2015 at 9:07 am
Agreed – such a great show with SO many valuable messages (sans the overdone sappy music a la Full House, great for other reasons lol).
Amber saysJanuary 17, 2015 at 3:10 pm
Love this post. Gilmore Girls is one of my favorite shows.