Why Im glad my daughter is an athlete (guest post).

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Carla’s recent post about the Tornado not playing organized sports really struck a chord with me.

Like Carla, I grew up in a place and era where Title IX hadn’t really taken hold.

I also have a daughter of similar age, and while I completely respect and understand where Carla is with organized sports right now, we have taken very divergent paths in this regard.

My daughter has been in organized sports for as long as I can remember, and I don’t see that ending any time soon.

Beyond the fact that my daughter loves her chosen sports and teams, I have my own reasons for wanting her to be in organized sports.

Read on:

While I was always the neighborhood “tomboy,” growing up (is that a term still?), there weren’t any formalized sports opportunities for me to join. Rather than discovering the athlete I had inside, I was a figure skater and eventually, a cheerleader.

Yes, it makes me cringe, too.

Where and when I grew up, the emphasis for girls was to be pretty, and not much else. So that’s what I worked on: my appearance.

My friends and I would spend countless hours primping our hair, shopping at the mall, and getting deep, dark (unhealthy!) tans.

By the time I got to college, I had very little self esteem because I had very little to define myself by other than appearance. Honestly, I don’t think I found myself until my late ’20s, when I started getting physically active.

I’m thankful that things are entirely different for my daughter.

At 10, she’s a soccer player, basketball player, and runner who also dabbles in triathlons. When I look at her running a race or on the playing field, I see a strong, confident girl.

I also see a young girl who would rather throw her hair in a ponytail and grubby old shorts and walk out the door than spend time in front of the mirror.

Countless studies have shown the important role that sports can play in a girl’s life–they build self esteem, and put the focus on what girls can do, rather than how they look.

Based on the research I’ve read, I believe that sports can play a role in keeping my ‘tween girl from developing anxiety and depression, and and will help her handle the emotional overload that will come her way as she heads toward middle and high school.

It’s too early to know if sports will stick for my daughter, but I hope so.

I think she will grow up so much the better for it. I had a fabulous childhood, but if there’s one thing I could change, it would be having the exposure to sports at a young age.

While I’m not a fan of the big pushes some parents make with their kids and sports these days (that’s an entirely different post, no?), I do believe my daughter will be better equipped to handle adolescence, and eventually the world, for her involvement in organized sports.

IMG_5286Amanda Loudin is a freelance writer, running coach, and the voice behind the MissZippy blog, a site for runners seeking experienced advice, the latest running news, and a fun exchange of all things running related.

Her philosophy is running fitness is a journey of learning and she loves sharing her passion with readers, fellow athletes, and running clients alike.

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Comments

  1. I love this post!
    I hope my daughter will be like yours when I have kids.

  3. My twins are somewhere between your two girls.
    Some days they veer more toward being like Carla’s daughter and most like yours Amanda.
    It’s such a hard thing for me not to push them!

  5. I hope that my kids are active and healthy, but I do want them to play some organized sports. I did, as did my husband, and it teaches you so much about how to interact with others–especially important in this digital age. I went on to compete in individual equestrian events, so I learned to carry my own weight, accept my own responsibility as well.

  6. that was me growing up. i have three brothers, so it came naturally. But i think it just depends on what makes them HAPPy. well said. Whatever takes the focus off looks and more on TRUE beauty. thx amanda

  8. When I grew up, we were not encouraged to do sports either. I’m older than you or Carla so you can imagine. I was always so competitive when I was a kid but no one even thought that organized sports might be a good idea.

    I never had a daughter but I coach girls and I’ve seen the difference that sports can make in a girls confidence and self esteem. That being said, girls are different and not every girl wants to compete. They need to do something though that offers the same benefits, both physically, because lord knows children need to move, and psychologically.

  9. I struggle with the fine line between encouraging and pushing. My girls right now are very into dance, and the younger gymnastics, and we’ve had them play soccer and basketball with the town too and there was no excitement for it, especially with my younger one, she really seems to dislike these sports and doesn’t put any effort into practice. However, she loves running so I’ve encouraged that with her. I think it’s tough to know why kids, girls or boys are shying away from certain activities and it makes it difficult to know when to keep on and when to call it.

  10. Very nicely said, and I totally agree. My 3 year old loves to run and play and is definitely a ‘tomboy’ in the respect that she likes what she likes, regardless of the gender stereotype. Being athletic, even at this young age, I see her confidence flourishing. The pride in her eyes when she crosses a finish line at a fun run is priceless and that is the feeling I want her to value, rather than appearance.

  11. I totally agree, but was struck by my daughter’s high school soccer team picture — almost all the girls also fit the “beautiful blond” profile. Sports can be good, but they also can be another place for self-doubt …

    • This is a great point, Courtney. As we just finished up the tryout process for next year, and as the girls were shuffled from team to team, little bits of this peaked through.

  13. This is such a great post Amanda! And I really can’t picture you as a primping cheerleader! You are so confident and self-assured now!

  14. I wholeheartedly agree with all of what Amanda has to say about sports, but what I don’t like about them these days is that it’s too much pressure for these small children. Team sports is no longer sandlot baseball and pick up games in the park. It’s All Stars and Travel ball by age 5 and every waking hour spent running from tournament to tournament (at least this is how it around here) By the time they are in high school not only is the child burned out the parents pocket books are drained and you realize that family time meant sitting on the sidelines of games. That mother’s day was some parent sitting next to you yelling in your ear for his child to, “go after that kid!” For my family of kids that are good at sports, but haven’t been playing and practicing none stop since they could walk, team sports hasn’t worked. We do the soccer and baseball, but my husband I get through these things because our kids enjoy having an activity. As far as All Stars and Travel teams? No way– I won’t buy into the greatest money pit of their generation, we will stick to, bbq’s, hikes, dodge ball and running in the park.

    • I totally get this point of view and have definitely seen the downsides to today’s organized sports. For us it’s working right now and I do love that my daughter has opportunities I never did.

    • I agree with you Lisa about some team sports these day. I see my grandsons playing three sports at the same time, sometimes have two competitions in different sports in the same day. I think it’s crazy. I love the idea of organized athletics, but you’re right about it being a huge money pit.

      I’m afraid that these over extended kids will end up burnt out by the time they are in high school. There is such a thing as too much of a good thing.

  15. I completely agree. I think organized sports is very healthy as long as it is not overdone. It provides a way for children to learn commitment and perseverance as well as self-confidence. Can they get this another way? yes! But, organized sports is a good vehicle for growth.

  16. I saw many of my running/triathlete friends pushing their kids into their passions-just reconnected with some of those people whose kids are now grown, and guess what they ARE NOT doing? Swimming, cycling, running….
    So glad that I told my kid to “choose one thing” to love. She did. She is 28 and healthy and fit.
    I am WAY older than you and found my running passion in 1970-before Title IX also, in a small midwestern town/state. My high school friends and I pushed for a girl’s track/x-country team. We won. We are still winning! Glad I heard that different beat sometime ago- still drumming.

  17. I think first and fore most children being active is important. As I took a stroll through the neighborhood last night on my way home from work I was wondering…where are all the children playing outside?
    That being said, I grew up swimming competitively, softball and soccer year round and dancing and cheerleading on the side. The lessons of hard work, discipline and time management taught in playing in team sports I think are invaluable.
    I think what I learned early on through sports translated to a (mostly) healthy competitive nature in life. Wanting to make all state orchestra as a flutist, wanting to crush my SAT’s and AP classes, get into my choice of college and grad school. And years later to today not wanting to settle for mediocre.

  18. I wish I’d had 1/4 of the opportunities to play in organized sports that little girls today have. I would have participated in everything my parents would have been willing to drive me to! 🙂

  20. Great post, Amanda! I totally agree that sports can help build self esteem! My daughter is only 4 and not yet into organized sports but she does show interest in things like hockey which I will totally put her in if she’s up for the challenge 🙂

  21. Ohymygoodness Amanda you were a figure skater and cheerleader?!? I can’t imagine! I love this post and I’m grateful for the opportunities I had to play sports growing up. Even though I never thought of myself as an athlete per se, it was a great experience. Right now, we have one kid who’s playing team sports and one who refuses. I’m OK with both and I want them to do it for fun but like others have said, the pressure sometimes is so much.

  22. If your kid is loving it, play on! If yours would rather just play outside with friends, play on! The world is better because we are different, and we each enjoy our own thing.

  24. Playing field hockey for a Division I college was the best 4 years of my life and a experience that I would do all over in a heart beat! I was involved in team sports since elementary school and it is truly amazing how I learned and how it really has made me who I am today!

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