A couple weeks ago I read Carla’s post entitled, Starting My Second Life. There was a quote featured from Tom Hiddleston that read,
“We all have two lives. The second life starts when we realize that we only have one.”
I immediately felt like this quote, and Carla’s post, described the way I have been living over the last few months.
For the first time in my life, I am truly awake. Working to build something that is 100% me without fear or hesitation.
I finally realized that freedom begins when you stop hesitating.
I have always been a hesitator. I have trouble making decisions. I think. I worry. I think some more. I tiptoe around.
When I decided I wanted to start writing it was one of those “Aha!” moments you wait for in your life. I have no idea why it took me so long to start – but once I did this incredible sense of urgency overcame me.
I had to start. Right. Now.
I pestered my friend until she helped me set up the WordPress account. And then I pestered her until she set up her server to be my host.
I had to get the blog started. I didn’t even care if anyone read it initially; I just wanted to build up the content. The words poured out of me.
I struggled to learn simple cut- and-paste html and put “follow me” icons on the site.
But I persisted. I am still persisting.
It was like that scene from the movie When Harry Met Sally where Billy Crystal’s character explains, “When you realize who you want to spend the rest of your life with – You want the rest of your life to begin as soon as possible.”
Except I had found my soul mate in writing. And I wasn’t holding back or hesitating.
Living without hesitation is different than my usual sleepwalking through life.
Things that had been elusive before – like permanent weight loss have become easy. I no longer count calories. I am free from that.
I have reorganized my drawers and my son’s clothing. I have painted stripes all through my house so I can choose a new color. In the past, choosing a paint color would have stressed me out.
I have even considered a tattoo. I went so far as to pin images on Pinterest of Hamsa tattoos, the Sacred Ohm and the Eye of Protection.
I am 36 years old and feel like I am finally mature enough for a tattoo.
As in I could actually choose something, an image, to permanently mark my body. (Maybe – like I said I am a hesitator.)
Above all else I have been feeling this aforementioned sense of URGENCY. And I don’t want it to ever stop.
This feeling of urgency has replaced my hesitation. It has replaced my fear.
I feel more connected to my son and my husband. I feel more connected to me. I feel free. This freedom – this urgent, ardent freedom is what makes the journey of life worth the effort.
I’m just gonna say it – Find that that thing that makes you free and do it.
In the words of J. Jackson Brown, Jr, (See, I like quotes too!)
I promise – Freedom begins when you stop hesitating.
Liz is a freelance writer, wife, mother, and self-appointed CEO of her home. Through encouragement and laughter, Liz provides healthy distraction from our crazy, disorganized lives. Because only women can understand what it is like to be a wife, mother, working professional, and lady (on top of chef, maid, and the million hats we wear), trying to make it through the day.