Mediocre White Men.

by

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First, let me clarify this post is in jest (can you see me typing with my tongue firmly planted in cheek?).

Kind of.

Mostly.

Of course I don’t think all mediocre white men feel this way.

Probably.

Mainly.

Next, I need to share the volume of messages, comments and emails I received after my impostor syndrome post. 

Most shared personal stories, but many asked if I thought men struggled with impostor syndrome as much as women.

I don’t believe they do.

With absolutely no research, no reading and no visits to Google I’d assert two things.

  • Men, if they experience impostor syndrome, seem to react to it by overcompensating not shrinking back.

Which leads me to the point of my post and what popped in my mind after opening each email or reading a direct message.

This tee:

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The sentiment started as a quote from writer Sarah Hagi and exploded in the form of memes, t-shirts, tank tops etc.

And it cracks me the hell up.

In the it’s funny because it’s often true way and because there’s nothing I love more than a brazen woman who’s not afraid to speak her mind.

Today, mid-holiday haze, I give you my short answer to your question of whether I think men struggle with impostor syndrome.

By way of Sarah Hagi.

Via a tee I plan to gift myself.

And you?

  • Do you think impostor syndrome is more a woman’s struggle? Why or why not?

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Comments

  3. Is it terrible to say that mediocre white men are perhaps the funniest sufferers of imposter syndrome? Sadly, they can also be the most outwardly obnoxious and frustrating. But at least you can spot them.

  4. Don’t know…I don’t hang around mediocre people in general…if I happened upon them in my life, I kept searching. They were too intimated to hang around me, so kept on trying to sabotage my efforts to climb out of mediocrity, so I said “bye-bye”!

  5. Most certainly a woman’s issue.
    We need to change this before the mediocre white men take over everything 🙂

  7. I’m totally LOLing at that shirt. What a great find. I think women are taught to be more self-depricating by nature. It’s weird to express self-confidence as we’re growing up. (Remember that scene in Mean Girls when Cady simply accepts a compliment and the Plastics think she’s being conceited?) I think that expectations of how women are supposed to express ourselves begin to manifest themselves in other ways, particularly in the business sphere. Heck, even political candidates who are women are treated differently. Luckily there are a lot of awesome ladies out there (like you!) who are working to change that for the next generation. Thanks, Carla!

  8. Hi. My name is Gene, and I am a mediocre white guy.
    I used to have self confidence, but placed too much of the validation of that into the hands of other people and have since lost confidence and ambition to be anything more than average.
    Most days I fail at that, too. Instead of grandstanding or trying to artificially inflate my self-importance, I retreat into the dark corners of my mind.
    I stop seeking challenges and instead seek familiarity, safety, and solitude. Truth be told, I hate being in that place, but have long since lost (surrendered?) the ability or even desire to get myself out and move beyond mediocre.
    My 2 cents.

    • Embracing your mediocrity! Love it! What’s mediocre to one is superbly awesome to someone else…(words, words, words…)

  12. I think it affects women, mostly, but not totally. It’s a personalized response to crisis; some welcome it as a challenge to overcome and some shy away, fearful of making the wrong choice. It’s a matter of mindset.

  15. I’ve worked with too many insecure people, both men and women. They can be difficult.

    “Only the mediocre are always at their best!”

  16. The whole concept cracks me up! I do think men suffer but many don’t realize it because their wives or girl friends tell them how fabulous they are and they truly believe it!

  17. lol! you’re hilarious and so right. i think it affects women more because we tend to over analyze and become way more emotional…. to everything! not that that’s always a bad thing – i think that’s where our motherhood instinct comes from, as well!

  18. that made me smile Carla – I do think that middle aged white men see themselves as much more virile and youthful than they actually are. I’m not sure where the self confidence comes from but our generation of women seem to have been a bit slow on the uptake compared to the men and to younger women! We’re working on it though 🙂

  19. It’s tongue-in-cheek but has such a poignant message. Also, men (especially mediocre white ones) have more of a tendency to compensate with humor by making people laugh rather than turning inward with insecurity.

  20. OMG. Belated holiday gifts for all. I’ve seen this transpire in my workplace more times than I care to count.

  22. NOT ALL MEN, am I right? Hahaha.

    This is such an important point, though, that as a general rule, white (straight, able-bodied, wealthy) men just don’t struggle with this issue.

    I’ve also found it fascinating how, ever since I started blogging more about feminist issues and topics like this, mediocre white men have gotten up-in-arms with me on social media. In a very much over-confidence kind of way.

  23. Actually I think it is kinda mean…. and a bit (dare I say it?) racist.

    If you meant it to be funny, it is just not hitting me that way. Maybe I need to finish my morning coffee and come back and read it again.

  24. This post (and that T-shirt) made me LOL! Now that you mention it, I do see that men tend to overcompensate when they don’t feel as confident. But I have seen women do it, too 🙂

  25. YES!!! Based on the strutting around I see out there for the average dude – YES! 🙂

    Love that shirt! SOmetimes I think – why don’t i see in the mirror what they see OR are they pretending….

  26. You know, I assumed the same thing: that imposter syndrome is mostly a female problem. But I stand corrected, based on the research in Amy Cuddy’s book, Presence. She discovered that it’s almost equally prevalent in men and women, but men generally experience it more acutely because they’re less likely to talk to anyone about it. It really surprised me.

  27. No doubt men suffer from the same syndrome, they just go out of their way in the other direction to compensate for it – and yes of course I make a sweeping generalization here but you know what I mean. And I know I need to get one of these t-shirts like yesterday!

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