Ahhh Im back to MUSTurbating

by

(with apologies to the amazing Albert Ellis)

My MUSTS these days?

  • I must take new group exercise classes so I can yammer about my likes and dislikes here on the blog.
  • I must get to the Tornado’s school and volunteer once a week.
  • I must try a new vegetable each week so that Im role modeling adventurous eating for the child hell AND Ren Man but thats a whole ‘nother blog post.

Lay it on me please & normalize my MUSTurbation filled life (I know. feel free to snicker. I am as I type…):

What have you been MUSTing yourself with recently that you *know*, deep down, it’s TIME TO LET GO OF?

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Comments

  1. Wow, what a lot to think about. I logged on quickly as I was rebelling against something i felt I ‘must’ do and up popped this, perfectly timed. Your post made me realise that what I want to do is stay at home and play on my Zumba game on the Wii. This is better for me in so many ways than what I felt I had to do. So I have texted my apologies, shut the curtains so passers by can’t laugh at my antics and am getting ready to shake my booty! xx

  2. Pretty much everything. I expect myself to be superwoman and needless to say all I do is set myself up for big, big falls.

    I just can’t figure out how to stop doing it though.

  4. Love love love the video, Miz.

    I do this to myself all the time (though I don’t call it musturbation LOL).
    Too many shoulds here.

  5. So true. As a side note, take Body Attack- so awesome! Ok, back to the must I need to lose…I MUST do everything. Honestly, I cut myself 0 slack as a new Mom.

  7. I needed this too.
    I’m stuck in a cycle of MUSTURBATION when it comes to my runs.
    I need to be kind to myself as I am to others.

    AWESOME VIDEO.

  8. I adore this and it is why I read you, Carla.

    Life is not about reps and sets there’s more too it happening in our heads.

    I will watch this again later, too.

  10. I think my biggest “must” roadblock is always “I MUST make everyone around me happy”. That’s usually not even possible, and I wear myself out trying. It’s an outgrowth of “I MUST earn my right to the air I breathe” which is a rather nasty underlying “must” that I really thought I’d worked out in therapy…but it’s like a nasty infection that lies dormant and flares up when you least expect it. I’m working on it, though.

    I think we all have a hierarchy of “musts”, and earning the right to be here is the foundation of them all for a lot of us. If we could accept that we have as much worth and value as the next person, it might be easier to let go of some of these musts. Or that could just be me, lol.

    Then again, I probably shouldn’t try to philosophize before my morning coffee…

  11. I saw that title on your FB page & was smiling from ear to ear cause I have a dirty mind! 😉

    LOVE this Carla!!! I have a lot of musts but also a lot of shoulds that I really should do.

    BUT, yesterday I got home late & thought I must do my core/stretching routine… i had a lot of other things that needed to be done… I did not do the core/stretching even though in my mind it drove me crazy but I knew 1 day was not going to hurt me & I had to talk myself into the NO MUST!

    A small step for me but a step!

    Your video makes me think I should try some new things & write about them too!

  13. Oh, clever. And thought provoking. I tend to fall prey to “all or nothing” thinking and that is the first thing that came to my mind when you were describing this. Mine might be… I MUST stay on plan or I might as well go off plan because there is no middle ground.

  15. OH, you are good. Musterbation. love it. I think the past few weeks for me have been a lot about this. Ditching things that really aren’t as necessary as I thought and focusing on the things to keep, things that are more healthy for me in the long wrong. For instance, ditching a goal weight or size and focusing on my fitness. Just a mentally healthier focus for me.
    I think should is hugely overused 😉

  16. hmmm… I don’t use the word “must” a lot, but I am goal/result driven, and have certain requirements and expectations. While I don’t say “you/ I MUST…” I do say “You/ I are/am REQUIRED to…” which I guess is pretty much the same message, or “you/ I HAVE TO” which is along the same thing.

    “Required to” means it’s MY choice that I/ you are going to do something, because I choose not to deal with the consequences of not doing so: Clean the room before housing inspection. Go to school.

    “Have to” means that I feel I have no choice, that the consequences are so terrible that I can’t even conceive of not committing to the action. Oddly, these are often the ones where the consequences are emotional rather than concrete (like the “Required to” consequences tend to be).

    I agree with Valerie and her “hierarchy of musts” statement. And I think it’s important to acknowledge that there are certain social and legal demands on us, but that a lot of what we think we “must” do is more based on what we “want” to do, or what we think is best for others, or what others think is best for us.

    “Must” is a word we have to evaluate more in our lives, and while there ARE things that we MUST do (rebellion or no) that list is relatively short, and we can generally cut through the illusion of “must” with a little self reflection, and maybe a more careful choice of words.

  17. Good blogging or vlogging forces me to think and isn’t junk food for my mind.

    This is good blogging 🙂

  18. My must for me recently was “I must stay skinny while pregnant.” That isn’t working, and despite my eating well (and not giving into cravings or eating excessively), my body just seems to need/want the weight right now for the baby. So, I will have to make do, and be sure I work out daily to help keep myself fit so it’ll be easier to take off when he/she’s born. Is it disappointing? HELL YES! But I’m doing everything I can, and it’s not working, so I have to let it go. Deep breaths…

  19. I’m divorced and fight the “I must be the better parent!” must.

    I try to remind myself the only must is to be myself.

  21. The close cousin of Musterbation is shoulding-all-over-myself. I do that a lot – I should be doing xyz, etc. Trying hard these days to let the mustering and shouding go. 🙂

  23. oppppps just realized my “Must” was supposed to be one that I can/want to give up….but I don’t have any “Musts” other than being me…and I can’t give up that! LOL I don’t do a ‘regulated’/must type of lifestyle…I just do…

  26. I MUST start to get some mroe sleep. 🙂 Love the title of this. Made my morning. I guess I MUST get out of my pajamas and start my day soon too. he he!! Good luck with your list!

  27. Oh stop with all of those! Stop stop! Pleeeeeeeeease!! The most important thing you MUST do with your child is to continue loving her and being a happy MizFit. If that doesn’t include going to her classroom once a week, LET IT GO. And as for the vegetables? Love the ones you already know. And as for the group exercise classes? UGH.

    The only things I *must* do right now are: keep the eye on the prize with my tri training. Love my family. Do my job(s). It’s enough.

    And what you are doing is more more more more than enough. You the greatest.

  28. PS. And I can’t stress this enough: the fastest way to HATE being a parent is to inject MUSTs into it. Only go into that classroom if it brings you total joy on that particular day. Some days you will be too busy with other stuff. Some days you will JUST not be in the mood to be with children OTHER than your beloved Tornado. Some days it will make you overjoyed to go into that room. ONLY go on those days. And do not commit ahead of time to any of it. Make it a nice surprise if you show up but don’t allow anybody (teachers or kids) to expect you and thus be disappointed.

  31. I must be more fit
    I must lose those last 10 lbs
    I must work harder
    I must be better
    Somehow I must listen more to my body, but at the same time eat more veggies?

  32. I must nit become obsessed with my weight loss and fitness goals. I’m not used to being on track. I’ve found myself sad after a workout. Why? Maybe I didn’t push myself hard enough. I need to be proud and happy and PLAYOUT

  33. I must get up and go to work to pay the bills…nothing I can do about that one!

    But I am happy to do so, because before and after teaching is so much more rewarding than if I wasn’t helping others. Then it would just be about me…and it isn’t!

  35. This week or so my “musts” are so limited and truly musts: must do my rehab exercises, must rest, must get enough protein.

    I think these restrictions -paring my life down to the absolute minimums- is an unexpected gift. Now I have to be aware of the ways I can expand my activities and still limit the constrictions of “must”.

  40. I must stop having this huge crush on Carla because it makes Kelly jealous…

    I must stop obsessing over time. From billable hours to timelines for accomplishing certain events to when I want to go to bed to being annoyed with how long it took to shape my brows (I’m serious). It all gets done.

    I must make lists. My lists now have lists. Then I panic when I can’t find the lists. No more lists.

  41. I have to catch myself as I cut back on my sleep too much as I try and do everything…because I can’t. Literally. Working full time and doing my MSc and all the housework and yardwork and cleaning? Not possible. Unless I give up sleep entirely.
    I can’t wait to be done school 🙂

  44. I went to Bates College for two years before I transferred to Brandeis.
    Let it be known that I did not get my Master’s Degree at Bates, just sayin’

  46. Hhahahah best post title EVER! As for what I “must” do… the list is long. It makes me tired thinking about it. I think you just made your point;)

  48. This really rings true for many of us. It’s good to get the musts and shoulds out of our heads and onto paper so we can really have a look at them. Then we can decide what’s really important to us, and then FOCUS on the things we feel we really MUST do!

  49. I have put so many “MUST” and “SHOULDS” into my life that I stall out and don’t do anything. This can be very frustrating!! I will really think about this this week.

    Keep focused!

  50. i must make it to the grocery store weekly to stock up on produce.
    i must get 6-8 hours of sleep throughout the winter.
    i must come up with a thesis topic, but not get too stressed out about it in the process.

    • yeah, i didn’t read this right. haha.

      those are actual things i would like to do, haha.
      my “must”s that i left behind, or try not to get too caught up in, include

      i must weigh x lbs/exercise every day or else/not eat y food.
      if someone is mean to me, it must be my fault.
      i must stress out about my work to get it done.

      and probably lots more…

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