Gratitude boards & six year olds.*

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(The Tornado’s gratitude board mid-creation.)

Since she’s been old enough to register her surroundings the Tornado has been curious about my vision & gratitude boards.

Her questions began as simple ones (What this is?) and have recently grown more specific (Who is this? Why is he on here? Do I know him?!).

Although we’ve always stressed the importance of gratitude it’s pretty much only taken the form of before bed prayers.

The concept would come up sometimes during our days, but for the most part we were nighttime-grateful Peeps.

Not necessarily a bad thing–but she made it clear she was ready for more.

And a harebrained plan was born by this not-too-crafty** mama: it would be a wonderful learning experience for her to create a gratitude board of her own.

A learning experience for her.

And yeah.

It was I who received the bulk of the educating.

Allow me to spare you the messy process share with you the 6 things I learned.

  • Mama needed to let go of the cutting. Literally & figuratively. I painstakingly trimmed photos of friends & family for my gratitude board. It bothered the Tornado not at all to carelessly snip at a picture of her Bubbie, whack off half her head, & plop it on her board. I had to repeatedly remind myself it was a gratitude board not a voodoo doll and if that’s what the Tornado wanted hanging in her room—it was fine. More importantly she did it all! by! her! self! & I stayed out of the process.
  • We are grateful for different people in her life. I’m a pretty mellow mom. I like to give the Tornado as many choices as I can throughout her day so she feels empowered. It surprised me, in this instance, I wanted to take over & seize control. I found myself longing to say REALLY? You’re grateful enough for X to put her on your board? or suggest Dont you think we need to find a picture of Y? He’s so good to you! I had to stop, step back, and view this as an opportunity to learn who’s important to *her.* And, through doing so, I gained insight into her world.
  • It’s OK if her 5 year old definition of gratitude differs from mine at 42. This sounds like a no-brainer, yet the realization surprised me. Especially when we moved from photos to magazines. I’d see a picture of a house and anticipate she’d cut it out & proclaim gratitude for our home. The Tornado? She’d spy an image of a flip-flop and hack cut that out instead (“I’m grateful my mama wears flip-flops!”). Again this typically *not* controlling mom fought the urge to point her toward what *I* thought she should be grateful for. Again, as with the photos, this activity was more a learning experience for me.
  • The Tornado grasped the difference between gratitude & entitlement. Yes, this was all on a five year old level. Sure we’ve had a few, uh, challenges with entitlement even after creating the board. I was still surprised she expressed gratitude for items/experiences I’d have assumed she’d thought she was owed or entitled to. Providing her with the opportunity to show & share this with me was invaluable. I give her lots of credit and yet, I learned, still less than she’s due.
  • Gratitude begets gratitude. Every time I glance at my gratitude board (it’s covered with photos, pictures, swatches of fabric etc***) Im reminded how blessed I am. Whether this sight/feeling link is as concrete with the Tornado Im not yet certain. I do know, however, having a visual (& silent) reminder created by *her* of how fortunate she is hasn’t hurt. She sees how fortunate she is without my constant prattling on about how lucky we are. As with fitness (practicing what we preach so we dont have to preach!) silence goes a long way.
  • Gratitude fosters happiness. Ive still not decided if I think optimists are born or created. What is clear is happy, optimistic people focus on all that is good/positive in their lives & unhappy people tend to focus on the negative. I’m not claiming the creation of her vision board has produced an always cheerful, glass-half-full Tornado—but it has prompted her to focus on gratitude throughout her day. Im willing to do whatever I can to make this shift a lasting change/mindset.

 

And there you have it.

The six things I learned during a process where I’d thought I would do all the teaching.

And you?

Will you join us in creating a gratitude board for yourself or with a little person?

Do you already have a board and care to share a link/YOUR tips in the comments?

 

 

 

*This is a Friday Flashback prompted by the fact we spent a spring break day updating our vision boards.  The Tornado is still finishing hers & announced when she’s done she’ll decide if she wants to share.

**That’s ‘arts &’ not ‘as in sneaky or wily.’ Poor sentence structure.

***Here is the link to my Vision Board/Gratitude Board video in case you, like the Tornado, are curious.

 

 

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Comments

  2. I’m 50 and still learning the difference between gratitude and entitlement, too. LOL

  4. What a gorgeous idea! When I ask the captain what he’s thankful for, he always says “trucks and sushi”. When I ask him what he loves the most, he says “Mama, Baba, and muhmoi, (baby sister in cantonese). I think to him, one means more than the other.

    To understand a 4 year old.

  5. I’m not proud of the fact I tend to yell at the boys about being grateful.
    This is a better idea 🙂

  6. Interesting.
    I had always thought I would address this with my sons (and husband LOL) when they started sunday school.

  14. I love that you have instilled that sense of gratitude in her while she’s young. I think many children miss out on that opportunity. And I love the lessons YOU’VE learned. It must have been hard to ‘let go’ but it sounds like you did it and I bet she’s proud of her board!

    Deb

  17. I love that you do learning experiences with the Tornado! I’m totally stealing this idea for our family night activity on Monday. Thank you for being my mommy mentor:)

  20. Wow. Your daughter is one amazing kid — she’s learned a lot from you in her 5 years on this earth! And I have to say — the gratitude she shows and the lack of entitlement she shows is impressive, seriously. You rock even more than ever for raising her to be so damn awesome!

  21. The great thing about being middle aged is I had no recollection of this being a flashback, and was laughing outloud at the idea of the decapitated picture and your voo doo doll comment.

    I am also getting more open-minded about my own personal growth stuff and could ALMOST see doing something like this myself. Hmm, maybe at least time to sign up for Pinterest?

    Love the Tornado and all that we learn from her.

  22. I don’t have board of any kind:( I read about gratitude often and how studies show that writing (or I am sure cutting out images) about things you are grateful for really does increase one’s happiness. Add it to the long list of things I think about doing and have yet to actually do.

  25. You have been talking about this topic for years and I think I am finally ready to try it. Maybe after I make my boards, I will introduce the concept to my stepdaughter. Thanks for the reminder!

  26. Wonderful! My only board consists of a bulletin board with a cleaning list and what is acceptable/not to go into our recycle bin LOL!

  30. Loved it the 2nd time around & always something new to learn! I hope she shares with us but I love that she tells you she is not sure if she will – a girl with her own mind!!!

  31. We always learn more by teaching than we actually teach.

    There’s a gratitude board where i write what i am grateful for every day, and share it with lots of friends. That’s how i keep in mind how blessed i am.

  32. This is such a great idea. I’m going to do this with my 5 year old son. I often struggle with ways to teach him about gratitude and definitely feel like he has a sense of entitlement much of the time. It would be interesting to see him do this exercise and what he comes up with. Beautiful lessons too!

  33. I know I’ve said this before, and I’m sure I’ll say it again, but Tornado is SOOOO lucky to have such an amazing mom!!!!!! Hope you, Tornada and your hubby have a great weekend.

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