Three reasons Im *for* the family meal.

by

The objects in the picture are NATURALLY whacky.

 

A few weeks ago Ren Man, Tornado & I were ambling around the mall when I spotted a cluster of kids.

They looked around 15 (Im horrible at guessing ages. They could have been 12 or 18…) and all of them were clearly, obviously and SHOCKINGLY high.

I could ramble here about how I never did drugs or yammeryammer about how I was the one who offered to drive & didnt drink—-but none of those thoughts entered my mind when I spied them.

My brain immediately superimposed an ‘aged’ Tornado’s head on one of the girls & I had a big moment of panic.

On the inside.

Where it counts.

It was later that night I wrote the post featured over at LIFE….SUPPLEMENTED today where I chat about the purported benefits of family dinners and why we never do them.

I dont know our approach will prevent the Tornado from growing into the children I saw at the mall.

I do know as I wrote the post I had the group firmly in mind & prayed what we’ve chosen to do at our house ‘works.’

Id be honored if you’d take a moment and read my words and even more so if you’d share your thoughts,

 

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Comments

  1. I’ve read your post: good one.

    As you know I don’t have children but we do have a family dinner every day. We both have different hobbies and after dinner we do our own thing. Dinner is the moment for us to talk about our day, what we will do that evening and what the plans are for the next day. We sit a the dining table and not in front of the TV. The TV is on but we don’t really watch it.

    I think one meal a day is important as a family but it doesn’t matter which meal that should be. As long as it’s working for everybody.

    • Exactly having a meal with your family is a great way to catch up on everyones day I find. Or even just what they plan on doing that day, it’s great and it keeps everyone close at the same time 🙂

  2. We do a family dinner here as often as possible. Sometimes that means dinner is at a weird time and is more of a family snack, but I think it’s important. I love the idea of a family breakfast, but with one morning person and three night owls, that would not work here. So awesome that you know what works for your family.

  3. If only there was one thing (or a short list of things) we could do to ensure that our kids would “make smart choices” as we put it. My biggest advice is to keep the lines of communication open.You are great at that. YOU’VE GOT THIS!

  4. I love the family dinner. I think it is a really good time to sit and connect with the family. Unplug and learn about each other.

    I think it’s very important.

  5. Great post! I love that you have Family breakfast instead of dinner! It doesn’t matter the time of day as long as you are sitting down and connecting as a family! We always had family dinners in my house and still eat together often to this day and I truly believe it is one of the reasons I am so close to my family!

    • Wise words, Carla.

      I wish I’d know this when my twins were young.
      It’s important to make the time to connect.

  7. Family breakfast is a lovely idea. Any family meal is wonderful and a moment that makes me happy and grateful.

    I have dinner with my girls but my husband eats later. He eats totally differently from myself and we both agreed we do not want to model his eating habits in front of the girls. (As much as we can). Ideally he would choose to eat better, but im heading off on a tangent.

    That time together is so important and definitely gives you time to connect and check in. There is something magical about food that mellows everyone out and makes talking to your parents ok. I remember my mum asking me after school about my day and never wanting to bother answering her. Come dinner time I felt more comfortable less on the spot.

  8. I like the family meal idea… in theory. In practice, it hasn’t been something that’s practical for us. First it was doctors and physical therapists and college and speech and after school programs and long overtime hours. Then it was high school and teaching and volleyball and school plays.

    The idea of the family meal is to set aside time to CONNECT. But do you need to connect on schedule? What if you spend the little moments all throughout the day to connect? What if your kids can call you at lunch hour if something is bothering them? Bring up something in the car? Discuss their day when they get home (Yes, you’ll have to step away from FB)? does it matter WHEN it’s done, so long as it’s done?

    We do family dinners at holidays. Other than that? Well, the point is to be connected and open to communication at all times, not just from 6:00 to 6:30.

  9. We eat our evening meals together almost always (we too are a family with one child). It has been something we’ve been doing since our daughter was able to be in a high chair, we don’t really know any other way to eat! I agree – a family sit down meal is super important. I also believe kids should be taught to eat at a table for every meal. Now that we are school-age, we sort of migrate from the evening meal straight into homework time and since she is young, that is a family project as well 🙂

  10. I loved the post over there!!
    I think I need to mandate a time we come together because figuring we will naturally isn’t working.
    Love love the post, MizFit.

  12. I love that you do what works for your family. I actually wish we could have a family breakfast (I think it’s so important to start the day in a positive way!), but I’m usually gone by the time everyone else gets up.

    We do have a family dinner though. And if it’s just two of us for dinner, we still take the same care to set the table, make food together, etc. It’s really about making things work for your particular situation…

  13. We did family dinner. Any family meal is great; I think the act of having some time to focus on each other with no distractions (TV was a no-no during dinner, and smart phones didn’t exist) is really important to developing an open relationship with your children. Way to make it yours with breakfast – whatever works, right?!

  15. We are a busy family of six.
    Quite frankly my wife and I decided we couldn’t swing a family dinner.
    I’d never even considered a family breakfast.

  16. Being a child of the 50s, we often ate both breakfast and dinner together. (well my dad was gone on weekdays, but HE cooked Sunday breakfast).

    Breakfast was a time to plan what was coming ahead. But dinner was the time to share our days. Not as important when we were elementary school aged, but OH the conversations that took place with 4 teenaged kids around the table! Shakespeare, space flight, dissecting political history! These never happened in the morning…

  18. My family is Italian, so eating together is important to us. And it’s a good way to reinforce that meals are about the COMPANY, the conversation, the whole experience, and not about the food.

  19. I should say that we never had family breakfasts, but family dinners. And I’m glad we never had breakfasts. I hate breakfast with a passion and have my whole life. I know lots of people tell me that it’s a one-way ticket to obesity to not eat breakfast, but someone forgot to tell my boney ass. 🙂

  20. I see the family meal as just another tried and true way to connect on some level. It seems we could all use a little more of that as things get crazier and crazier around us. I honestly wish there was a magic answer for making sure that our kids were not going to end up as the lost type that you saw at the mall. There are things we can do to hedge our bets, but the truth is even wonderful families can end up with people who make bad choices for whatever reason. And vice versa- really crappy families can end up with fabulous kids who go on to change the world in wonderful ways. I so wish there was a magic formula to all of this. I really do. Whoever figures that one out is going to be worshiped and adored forever. We all love kids and wish them everything good in this life. I appreciate all the time and effort you put into writing wonderful pieces about family. We can all use the help.

  22. We had family dinners growing up. Dennis and I are a family of two, and if we’re both eating at home, we try to eat dinner together, even if it means one of us shifting our schedule a little. And we love our Sunday breakfasts too. It’s a good time to connect. Love this post Miz, and love the pic of your family. so fun!

  23. I’m all for family meals together – but I don’t know that it HAS to be dinner. Who really cares what family meal is together – as long as whatever meal it is works for your family, then do it! I love the idea of a family breakfast – but I’m at school far before Tucker or Ward even creep/roll/stumble out of bed. Dinner just happens to work for us and that’s why we do it. By the way – I’m horrible at telling the age of teenagers as well & I work in a HS.

  24. We have family dinner together almost every night, with a few exceptions for sporting events. I feel it’s important but I love your idea of family breakfast!
    I do have this thing about not letting the kids eat alone. They usually sit at the breakfast bar in the kitchen for breakfast, and I have to be in there with them or I feel like they’ll be lonely, or I’ll miss some great opportunity for conversation!
    Thanks for your point of view.

  25. Family meal time is super important! We had dinner together most nights as our kids grew up. Even when they lived at home and commuted to college they loved the days that their schedule allowed them to get home and eat with us. They also knew that if they missed dinner there would be a plate waiting for them and I would sit down with them while they ate it and keep them company. It is a beautiful time to share the events of the day, share memories and talk about dreams for the future.

    Our house was also a gathering spot for all of our kids friends. Many never experienced a family dinner until they came to our house. At first some of them found it to be uncomfortable – sitting down to eat around a table with the “parents” but they all soon adapted and seemed to enjoy it. Our son’s best friend who is now 22 recently told me that he ate more family dinners at our house than he did in his own home. Many of my childrens friends who are now young adults use my blog as a resource for the recipes that they enjoyed at our house and when they come to visit me they talk about the great meals we shared.

    It doesn’t matter what meal it is or even what we are eating, what matters is that the family is together sharing, loving and learning.

    Great post!

  26. Its really a good idea to try to get at least one meal a day together, sometimes even that is hard but connecting with the family is important so we make time.

  27. I’m totally with you. We do family dinners every night, Daddy breakfasts (while I’m working out) and Mommy lunches (while Daddy is at work). It’s no wonder I love mealtime. And I hope my girls do too. Good job, mama.

  29. All in all I have often found the need for a family meal a bit over-rated. Not that there is anything wrong with it, absolutely nothing wrong with it. We do them on most days, but not out a feeling it is needed to be effective parents. My belief is that if you are engaged with your family sun up to sun down, a family meal is not required to stay engaged. And I know so many families that are lazy in their sun up to sun down engagement that they need that family meal to force a minimum amount of engagement to occur. I’ve made it a point to not depend on the family meal to stay engaged, while, enjoying every bite of family meals and seeing them as the cherry on top of my day of parenting.

  30. I grew up in a large family that did family dinners. Frankly they are not good memories for me and I did everything to avoid them as soon as I got old enough to get out of there. The fighting and the snarking…wasn’t worth the anxiety.

    Family meal, family movie, family time…whatever you call it, what matters more is how it is meaningfully used in my opinion. Not that it is “checked off” as somehow a measure of success in creating the perfect family.

    Sometime tells me you are pretty good at being present in much of your time with your family. 🙂

  32. So many things factor into how kids grow – I’m going to bet that Tornado will never be one of those girls. But I totally understand the panic (on the inside, where it counts;)) so I’m going over to read your post right now!

  33. Family meal is an important time, these days most people are busy to spend time eating properly at lunchtime so dinner should be like a family meeting to check on everyone day. I mean not just a quick snack like we do in my family where one eat before the other! :))

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