Depression is no joke.

by

It’s April Fools day (which to my chagrin the child has discovered.  lately everything has included APRIL FOOLS!!! shouted at random intervals), but since we be silly every OTHER day around here Ive skewed serious.

It’s kinda like Halloween.  Since I tend to dress in costume the *other* 364 days of the year—on Halloween I dress (finger quote) normally (unFQ).

Spring allergies are slamming upon us & I wanted to re-share my experience.  Recently Ive felt wonky and am *so* grateful to be aware why…

 

To know me (I typically add “in real life” here, but this time Im fairly certain I held it together notsomuch online either) is to know I’ve struggled recently.

I havent been myself.

Instead of leaping out of bed excitedly to greet the day—Ive dragged my sorry ass up & to the coffee maker whining the entire way.

Lamenting how exhausted I am. Moaning about how I dont want to work. Groaning about bus stop waits & soccer practices.

This is totally not like me.

I love my workjob. I cant believe Im paid to blog and write.

I’ve never needed an alarm because Im *always* eager to meet each morning (Im a puppy that way).

Now layer on top of the aforementioned whining a complete lack of interest in anything.

A longing to loll in bed all day.

Not reading & snacking or movie watching & munching (two ways I readily acknowledge Id *always* wanna spend a day. those are my ideas of day-perfection.), but just supine and, well, sad.

And, because Im nothing if not an Emmy-worthy actress (not), The Tornado began apologizing and proffering notes like the one pictured above.

(The note reads I am sorry Mom. I cant blame being depressed for my not correcting the “sre” for sorry. I was inexplicably mamatouched by her misspelling.)

Of course I told her she didnt do anything wrong.

Yes I let her know I was just sad and tired and I didnt know why.

And I didnt.

Id never been depressed & it was only when I cried to Ren Man about how I just didnt have it in me to work or tweet or facebook or do the laundry or brush my hair—-did it occur to me precisely what I was describing to him.

I wasnt myself. I was a depressed version of me. A version Id never been.

I immediately did what all good bloggers do when it’s nighttime & they thinks they’ve solved a problem: I hit Google to be sure.

I read lots of articles about allergies & depression and those (coupled with my chronically itchy, oozy eyes & throat so sore I felt as though I had strep) provided the OOOOH moment I needed.

I took action from there and learned my malaise was, indeed, linked to Austin’s chart-bursting pollen count.

Intellectually I knew I lived in the self- proclaimed ‘Allergy Capital of the USA’ yet since I had no idea about the link between seasonal allergies & depression it took far too long (and far too many depressed texts. sorry about that.) for me to put this all together.

Hence this almost-fitness but more mental health PSA.

Whether you live in the (Live Music &) Allergy Capital of the USA or not—-consider yourself warned and alerted.

Whether your signs of sadness & lethargy are seasonal allergy related or not—consider yourself more aware than I.

(We can discuss the fact I have my masters in counseling later if you’d like. oops!).

Now you.

  • Have you ever experienced depression as a by product of seasonal allergies? Or does this, at first glance, all seem as off-the-wall to you as it did to me?
  • Have you experienced depression in general? I know before I thought I was able to understand how it felt—–and I had no idea.

Id love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

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Comments

  1. The truth is that I understand how you feel. There have been days where I have felt liek wanting to do nothing. Days in which I did not feel like writing, just wanting to stay in bed. It’s like you want to stay all day lying on bed. However, I have always managed to overcome that state. In these cases, you have to ask yourself: is this me?

  2. When I spent most of my twenties lying down most of the day, back when my allergies and my thyroid were much less controlled than they are now, I never considered it depression. I was happy; frustrated by how little I could do, but happy. Fatigue is a symptom of depression, but it’s also a symptom of a gazillion other things, including allergies. I’ve listened to people recounting how they feel with depression and wondered what makes the difference. I don’t think I’ve ever been depressed at all, much less clinically.

  4. ugh, thes austin allergies are at an all time high. I sit here chuggin coffee and allegra. I can relate. Miz, you hae been through A LOT lately, and all within a short period of time. I think that can effect us. Your body and mind just don’t click together and then you wonder why? One is settled while the other drags. You will feel better soon. You see the need to take care of mama and you are doing it. Love you! vent via email to me anytime!!! you know i am here. Austinites unites!

  5. Woah. I’ve been SO off these last 2 weeks and I came up with a ton of ‘diagnoses’ (over-exercising, dehydration, stress,…) but I never thought the ridiculously high pollen count may play a part!

  6. This post hit home with me this morning, because I have been waking up feeling this way too and I’m having a hard time snapping out of it. I have a lot of emotions going with summer coming and whether to make some big changes in my life that are scary and unpredictable. Like you too, I love what I do. It makes me happy, but personally I’m not so happy and trying to work on changing that. Thank you for your honesty and sharing! Like Lindsay said, if you need to vent, I’m here too! XOXO

  7. Oh.
    I’ve never considered this even though my car is yellow in the mornings from pollen.
    Interesting.

  8. The tree pollen here is so ridiculous we’ve almost coughed ourselves into a set of well defined ab muscles. Seriously tired of it….not necessarily depressed but crankier than usual for sure.

    Hang in there and find some relief! Allergist? Acupuncturist? Hazmat suit? Hugs!!!

  9. This mama had a not-so-fun case of post-partum depression after the girl was born (8-months ago). Combined with the dreariness of winter it was not fun. Now that the sun has returned I’m soaking up the vitamin d. Thanks for sharing. I haven’t written or spoken to many people about my ppd until now so another huge thanks for creating a safe space.

  10. Wow … I had never heard of the link between seasonal allergies (AKA pollen explosion) and depression! I definitely feel “foggy” when the pollen hits here in GA but my allergy meds kind of help that. Thanks for sharing!

  13. I seem to be suffering from allergies for the first time in ages, but except for my whining it hasn’t affected my mood. For me, stress seems to be correlated with tendencies towards depression — wanting to run away and hide from it all and just not being able to “deal.”

  14. I’m sitting here crying while reading this. I’ve been in the same sort-of slump and every day I just try to push through. I think it’s because I’m trying to figure out what I want to do with my life and in the mean time I feel like I don’t have a purpose!
    Thank you for sharing this!!!

    • HUGS HUGS HUGS. I get how you feel now in a way I didnt before.
      PLEASE REACH OUT TO SOMEONE FOR SUPPORT.

  15. So glad you posted this. Sometimes it does help a little to know why you’re feeling a certain way, even if there isn’t a ton you can do about it.

    I don’t suffer from allergies much, but I do remember being affected by the too long winters when I lived in Minnesota. So glad to be a sun belt person as an adult.

    The only time I’ve come close to depression was the month I spent in a stupor last year after my car accident/head injury. It was a little bit scary and a lot isolating. I definitely have a greater appreciation of what real depression must feel like now.

  16. I can totally relate to the dragging myself out of bed thing. lately, I have been not wanting to go to work AT ALL and that is so not like me. You are not alone my friend!

  17. It is so interesting about the allergy/depression connection. I’m so glad you figured things out back in the ATX…any of the same in Oakland? I consider myself very fortunate to never had to deal with allergies or depression.

  18. Being candid depression runs on both sidesof my family. I’m always aware of this which is why I do work out so much trying to get those natural endorphins to keep me going and remaining positive

  19. Oh, yes. I remember thinking WHY am I sad when it’s finally SPRING and it’s over 36degrees out and there are FLOWERS DAMMIT get out of the bed. This year add gaingni back 20 pounds after a wicked winter and sigh. I want to crawl back into bed.
    So I pop 2 allergy pills a day, and MAKE myself get through it again. I’m UP! I’m UP! and I may as well get a walk in, right?
    Thanks for sharing. And now I’m not going to Austin to visit this summer.

  20. I always thought I lived in the allergy capital of the world (aka Little Rock). I definitely think that suffering from allergies can cause depression – as well as weather. I have suffered from rather severe depression and ended up on medication. I finally learned what it felt like to not be so down so I’ve learned to regulate myself better, to recognize the signs I should say. Depression is not a fun place to be.

  21. Wow, I’m not sure I would’ve ever connected the two (depression with seasonal allergies), but it absolutely makes sense. Thanks for sharing your experience!

  22. YES! I tend to get in the “I just don’t wanna” mood at peak allergy times. I’m not sure I’d call it “depression” but I can definitely see how it could get there. I’m naturally a happy, upbeat person so when I’m feeling like I just don’t wanna, I force myself to just wanna. Fake it till you make it.

  23. I’ve never heard of a link between allergies and depression symptoms before… fascinating! The pollen is crazy here right now, too. I dealt with mild depression one year in college, and running really helped snap me out of it. I love that exercise can help stabilize our moods. Hope you’re feeling better!

  24. I sometimes have periods of what I call little-d depression, which is more a type of fluid melancholy than the more serious medical condition. For years I thought it was hormonal, but a few years ago I noticed that this moody broody feeling usually happens when we have too many cold, gray days in a row. Somehow, knowing that correlation helps me roll with it (and through it) more easily.

  25. I have very bad allergies…but I’ve found using a Nettie pot 2 or 3 times a week has changed EVERYTHING!
    I haven’t needed pills and I haven’t felt depressed or overly sad in the last 2 years. Summers are more fun!

  28. I have never heard of that connection between allergies and depression before! It makes complete sense. I had never had allergies before in my life before moving to Cape Cod. Now I am a coughing and sniffling mess! I blamed it on a cold but alas it is allergies! I’m glad you sorted things out!

  29. The unwillingness to treat depression with medication was how I got into fitness. I’ve “dealt with” depression and anxiety since I was a young child, and it’s constant work to keep afloat. I never heard of depression linked to allergies… super interesting. Thanks for the post!

  31. Thanks so much for addressing this.
    I have struggled with seasonal depression (less pollen and more SAD) for years and finally know what it is.

    This post typifies why I love your blog, Miz.
    You care for us mind, body AND spirit.

  32. REALLY INTERESTING! Never heard or knew this!!! Being that I just started to have the allergy crap, I will have to pay attention to this. I have had depression varying times thru life. With the hormone changes – major depression & I know it was hormones related BUT it is like you have no control – they take over.

    Even now I am going thru some stuff.. maybe some is allergy & other is just life… I always get thru it but it is tougher certain times.

    THANK YOU FRO SHARING! I am sure people think you don’t go thru this but we would not be human if we were perpetually happy & never had down times! 🙂

  33. I’ve never heard of the association between the two before. Seasonal depression I’ve heard about but none on the allergy association front of things.

    I hope you feel better soon Miz! xoxoxo

  34. we feel that way – when we go through bad seasonal allergies we feel depressed. we suffer from all kinds of allergies it feels like we are always battling our emotions. with time though everything usually calms down some 🙂

    • YES YES YES GREAT POINT.
      I shared this on facebook:

      I frequently tell people I stopped gluten because of swelling and rash and itchy and all THAT LOVELY STUFF (which they respond to) but I can see their eyes glaze over when I add AND DEPRESSION. THAT PROCESSED WHITE MADE MY BODY AND MIND DEPRESSED. People so often dont wanna hear it.

  35. Very interesting. Again, this is the first time I have been aware of this connection. This may resonate with me, as well as with my daughter. Thank you for bringing this to the attention of those who it may benefit!

  36. I finally gave in to the notion THIS YEAR that I suffer from Seasonal Depression. I’ve always know that I prefer Spring and Summer, sunshine and hot days, but it was only this Winter (on an unseasonably warm & sunny day) that I realized just how cranky and sad I had been and how totally overjoyed I was on this particular day.

    I’ve forced myself to workout first thing in the morning because I always feel better after, go to bed and get up at roughly the same times every day, not skip meals, listen to happy music during the day, not complain about the weather constantly and find as many fun activities to do with the girls as possible. Staying busy has been the key and it really did help — a little bit.

    But now that the time has changed, the sun is out more and the hints of Spring are popping up here and there I can actually feel myselg getting happier. 🙂

  37. As someone who is allergic to literally 47 things (and allergy shots did not help), this is really interesting! I never knew there was a correlation, and now I understand why I may be moody during high-allergy times. Thanks for sharing this – now I know to boost my endorphins even more with exercise!

  38. Allergies are no joke and leave you feeling down, depressed and tired! I moved to SoCal from Northern VA. and since mine have greatly improved, but I do get chronic migraines, which is also linked to depression. Once I got my migraines under control, my depression is too! I also am 45 and found out I was loosing some of my hormones, surprise, surprise! This too can cause a big list of issues, so I got this under control as well. You have been through so much, a big move, change of climates, it makes sense that the blues have creeped in. Sending big healing thoughts and prayers to you my beautiful friend! xo

  40. YES!! I just made my appointment to get these allergies under control so I can get back in the gym, which helps resist the pull of depression. It’s all a viscous cycle and I’m taking the first step today to stop it

  42. I have been to the deep dark pit of depression. Not to the very depths, but so low that the relative clean and organized of my house has grown to reflect the state of my very down and out mind. My job was killing me. I was miserable.

    Now that I have new work in a place I love, I am coming out of the fog. I look around my house and can’t believe how bad it truly was. One mess after the next needs to be undone in order to restore order not only in my house but also in my mind. It’s a lot of work, but every day is worth it.

  43. I suffered from depression in my early 20s. It was not allergy related, but my emotional response to things. Took some therapy to work it out, but it was hard to go through.

  44. completely true!! when we don’t feel well it zaps our energy and zest. I definitely notice after a few weeks of allergies being on high alert that I”m not myself and better start taking something to help.

  46. My husband suffers from depression sometimes and it can be hard to watch and often for him hard to recognize in himself at first. Having known him for as long as I have now, I can see it in him and warn him about it so he can try and deal with it. It’s good you let those around you know – it took me a while to realize someone else’s depression not something I’ve done and be there for someone to talk to and commiserate with.
    He’s found regular exercise helps a lot. I wasn’t aware that allergies could be a trigger though – that’s interesting. I hope you find your way out the other side of the tunnel back into the sunshine. It will come, I promise 🙂

  47. I had no idea about the link between allergies and depression.
    Recently, I discovered that about 50% of peri- and menopausal women experience depression; explains a lot!
    As you know, we are still dealing with the ‘black pit’ at our house. Slowly getting better, but hard to be on the sidelines watching…
    Cheering for you xo

  48. TRULY a reason Im so grateful I experienced this as I too have seen those stats about women and peri/menopause.
    and Ive witnessed it.
    and I tried to relate but couldnt.
    Im grateful I now can.

  49. I never realized that there was a connection between allergies and depression. Just add another thing on the long list of things linked to depression. Society literally is so out of balance with the way things are supposed to be (more is better, etc.) that it is not surprising depression had become an epidemic.

  50. Depressed since I was 11 (hormonal). On and off meds since. (currently on).

    Made worse by allergies and perimenopause!
    Made much better by the sun shining (but sometimes worse by the heat!)and good company! (so rare in my life).

    Nothing is as sad as not being able to get up off a chair… and spending a day there…

  51. No idea seasonal allergies were connected to depression. I’m guessing this can affect children’s moods, too (esp if they are predisposed–genetics/hormones–to moodiness).

    What did you do to combat this? Awareness? Gutted it out until the pollen was better?

    I have suffered from depression all my life. It’s inherited (from Dad), and not just situational, although situational can deplete my brain of happy chemicals, which means I usu need an Rx to get back in balance.

    I have an arsenal of tools to keep the depression at bay–meds, acupunture, no sugar/fat/flour foods (makes a huge difference for me), blogging, talking & not isolating myself, running, sleep, self-care, and a SAD light from September through March. I also take calcium supplements (600 mg 2x day), which my psych told me makes a difference, and it does.

    If any of my tools are neglected, I get out of balance quickly. But I still have off days, almost always hormone related (I’m 42). I recognize them for what they are–temporary. I tell my husband (and kids) when I’m feeling off, so they know it’s not them, it’s me, and that I need some extra self-care that usu involves quite time, and that it will be over soon. If my temporary off days become not so temporary, I know it’s time to look at what needs to change, and ask for help from my team of professionals (therapist, psychiatrist, acupuncturist).

    Thanks for sharing!

    • for me so much relief was gain by simply figuring out what the heck was happening to me. I re-learned I need to wash my hair twice a day (not good for hair I realize but GREAT at lessening pollen in follicles. I spend a lot of time outside with the child or Id not need) and also to wash my pillow cases daily too–that kind of stuff.
      but more mainly mostly relief at realizing what was happening….

      • thanks for the reply, and reminder that my son’s pillow case and hair need to be washed every day when the trees start a-bloomin’. He has horrible spring allergies.

  52. I’m so glad you found out what was bothering you and can start working on it. I had no idea there was a link between allergies and depression. I wonder if there’s one between anxiety and allergies. I’m not depressed but I constantly feel stressed or anxious, so much so I’ve been seeing a therapist. I also have horrible allergies basically year round. Time to do some research. 😀

  53. I remember when you first posted this…can’t say that I connect depression (and/or anxiety) to seasonal allergies, but I can definitely connect it to one particular season: winter. Add in the hormonal shifts of perimenopause and it can be intense at times…as a matter of fact, the past several days I’ve felt low (tired, purposeless) and I know it’s tied to my wonky cycle. Awareness/acknowledgment, good nutrition, moving my bod, self-compassion, and expressing myself all help.

  54. Interesting… I hadn’t even considered that allergies would do anything but make me… allergic. I thought I just get a little down that time of year because it’s cold, yucky, and two months that usually aren’t all that great, but maybe my lack of mojo is allergies.

    I’m feeling a little off my game lately, but I think that’s just pressure from all sides culminating in some he-double hockey sticks coming up to get everything done so I can leave the country feeling good about how I left everything. But maybe it’s also the allegies (which I’m not really feeling physical symptoms of anymore, but that doesn’t mean it’s not affecting me).

    Also… *hugs*. I have a feeling you’re going to have a stellar summer there in Oaktown!

  55. I just figured , well my kid’s counselor brought it up, that I was depressed after dealing with a sinus infection that wouldn’t quit. Who knew right?! Now that I know and have worked on it, I’m getting back to the mom I wan to be. So glad you mentioned this connection. I’ll mention it to my husband.

  58. The hardest part for me is when it’s winter and the sun is hiding for so long!

    • You might look into using a SAD light (if you don’t already). They are expensive, but worth every penny. I have a light box from Alaska Northern Lights ($300). I use mine Mon-Friday (at work) from Sept-March. Makes all the difference in the world.

  59. Yes, i’ve been depressed. After babies, and in winters. It isn’t a joke, and it isn’t what one woman in my church simply dismissed as a “lack of faith.” You are in my prayers, that you will be back to yourself soon.

  60. I have been lucky enough to never experience depression (only periods of exhaustion to where I want to sleep all day, but those were all induced by pulling an all nighter or a hangover struggle) so I don’t have first hand experience, but I have had friends that have been depressed before and at least with them I realized they seemed better when I dragged them out and made them do things with me. Have someone force you back into your routine, I’m sure your daughter wouldn’t mind dragging you around to put you in a better mood! I wish you luck and I’m sure you’ll get over this phase soon!

  61. Oh, I’ve been there! The good thing is that you are recognizing it! My Mom suffers from it with her seasonal allergies.

  62. It’s the worst feeling, right? Especially when you know that is not who you are and want to break out of it but just feel you can’t. Depression and anxiety run pretty heavily on my dad’s sad of the family and I have battled it for years. It still gets the best of me sometimes and it’s so hard. Great to bring it to light. I know seasonally I can be affected during winter…but never knew there was affects for allergies too!

  63. Depression. Oh my goodness. Struggled with it for years and years – since I was a teenager – off and on. I have a pretty good handle on it now. Know more or less what triggers it and what to do to keep it at bay.

    The number one thing that helps (for me) is exercise. Solid, heart-pumping exercise, even if only for 15-20 minutes. I can skip a day. If everything else in my life is in line, I can skip two days. But not more. The shift is subtle and slow, but I’ve slid down this slide so many times – I know what it feels like and can usually nip it in the bud.

    Other things that help keep me afloat are eating well (no sugar, little to no refined stuff) and being socially connected.

    Therapy helped a lot, too. Took four tries before I found a therapist who worked well, but I found him (and paid quite a bit). Well worth the time, money, and energy.

  64. I’ve been depressed for most of my life. Lately it has been the unbearable unable to get out of bed type. My flat is covered in mold. Clearly there is a connection here. Thank you for this post, I feel less alone.

  66. With allergies, I tend to get more “frustrated” or “moody” rather than a feeling of depression.

    It’s almost done… I can see lovely summers right around the corner and potentially a brunch with Pavey. That will make any day lovely. 🙂

  67. Exercise works wonders for me when I’m feeling down. Although it is sometimes very hard to get that initial motivation to do it.

    Very interesting to hear the correlation between allergies and depression. Thanks for the post!

  68. Interesting. Never heard of that connection either. Definitely felt the blues after my pregnancies. Small children, post-partum bodies, sleep deprivation…not a great combo but luckily I never had it terrible like some of my friends. Feel better!

  69. That was pretty much my entire adolescence. It took me a loooooong time to figure out the “why” and “how”, but the good news is you’ve found that (which is 90% of the battle) and you will be able to get back to feeling like you! It’s hard and it really just sucks while you’re in it, but now that you have the information, I know you will be back to yourself in no time!

  75. I had no idea that allergies and depression were related. I hope you find some relief soon, it must be tough living it such a high allergen area. I have some allergies too and it definitely makes it hard to get anything done when you feel so terrible.

  76. Such a timely post Miz. I wonder if your allergies will be the same in Oaktown as in Texas. My husband suffered terrible hay fever when we lived in the Midwest but he does really well here in CA. The kids and myself are not so lucky!

  77. I have never had issues with it because of allergies. However, 2 years ago I got hit by a rough patch. I am always glass half full, smile like an idiot, and suddenly was very depressed. Hated my job, couldn’t find a new one, grad school kicking my butt along with full time job, just found out both my father’s parents were dieing, everything going wrong. I did research and found solutions that helped me and hope you are able to find things that help you too.

  78. ohmygosh yes!! All I have wanted to do the past week is sleep. I cannot get enough sleep and I constantly have a headache. OK, that might be in part due to my attempt to remove caffeine from my diet (gah!) but still. I hadn’t thought about allergies!

  80. Sometimes we are the hammer and sometimes the nail in life.

    Hard to forget the times of being the nail.

    I’ve been there.

    May be there again.

  82. Sending a HUGE HUGE hug to you! Dennis has been affected by allergy season and low grade depression before. His doctor put two and two together. It is no joke, its horrible to feel that way, and its tough for those who love you, so hang in…as I said, big hug!!!

  83. I have been depressed lately too. 🙁 it’s so hard when you know you aren’t yourself but don’t know what to do about it. Hugs your way.

  84. As someone who has suffered from depression most of my life, I would recommend activity as a good way to combat it. However, rather than going back to your “routine,” I would recommend changing it up a bit. Do something “fun” for a change. By definition, “routine” is not fun. Live it up a little. You’ll be glad you did.

  85. Something else — exercise usually helps, too. Change up your routine to do some aerobics, if you’re not feeling too sickly. Something that always works for me is going for a swim, or just jumping around in a pool Water refreshes!

  86. Miz, I’ve experienced depression (am on medication) but it’s not something I feel comfortable writing about in my own blog. (I do draw the line somewhere.) For me it manifests itself in anger (usually simmering and seething) and apathy.

    It’s challenging and – obviously – hard to confess to. Thanks for sharing!

    xx


  87. OH YES!!
    I learned this during my masters program and yet had FORGOTTEN UNTIL YOUR COMMENT.
    depression is INDEED anger turned inward.
    hmmmm.

  88. I can vouch for seasonal depression. Spent 3 winters in London. Virtually no sun or heat for 4 months straight. I don’t think I was the only person who got depressed. There were about 8 million others who suffered too (according to all the grumpy faces on the tube!).

  89. Everybody have faced depression more or less in their life. We have to learn how to overcome depression as soon as possible. Because it would lead us going to negative. Normally when i felt depression, i would stop thinking it and try to imagine something good and positive to change the mind.

  92. My father dealt with depression for a long time but he recently seems to have overcome it. I wonder if he had any related allergies. I’m going to have to ask about it.

  93. I one hundred percent know how you feel. Depression runs in my family, so it’s hard for all of us to get things done. I hope things look up for you and you feel better. I know its an uphill battle sometimes, but congratulate yourself for even getting out of bed in the morning! It’s the little things that help.

  94. I’ve seen depression myself.
    My parents were in depression a year ago when they moved to the US. I’ve seen it all. Really they were not like themselves. That’s so awful.

  95. I have found exercise very good to stop depression but it has to be something you enjoy just a little or you won’t keep it up. A good healthy diet helps as well.

  96. People who haven’t had depression usually have no clue what it’s like. You can’t just slap a smile on and get over it or “snap out of it” at will. There can be many different steps needed to get through it. Those who haven’t been there have all kinds of trite platitudes that really tick me off.

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