Fat Bridesmaid (guest post).

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Youre never too fat to hit the gym.  By Fat Bridesmaid

It took me a long time to get the guts to join a gym.  I thought about it every day, and not just passing thoughts like, “Maybe I should think about joining a gym.”  Oh no.  I’m talking daily reprimands like “Ugh! Join a gym already!” each time I drove past one which, in my hometown, shakes out to about seven times a day.  All that and it still took me three months to go in and buy a membership.  It wasn’t that I couldn’t afford it or didn’t know where I wanted to go;

I’d convinced myself I was too fat to join a gym.

Yeah, don’t ask me to explain that logic because duuuuuude I have no idea.
But I know I’m not alone.  How many times have you heard people (I’m looking at you, ladies) say things like “I’ll join a gym when I lose ten pounds,” or “I can’t go to a gym looking like this!”  It doesn’t make sense but I know – I know – how genuine and real those concerns can be.  When you’re out of shape and self-conscious about your body the idea of going to a public place and sweating in front of God and everyone is terrifying nauseating less than appealing.  But it doesn’t have to be!  Let me go ahead and just debunk some of the scary thoughts you may be having about the gym.

I’m too fat to go to the gym.

Can you physically move from one place to another and convert oxygen into carbon dioxide? Yes? Then you’re not too fat to join a gym.  Gyms exist so that people (fat, skinny, short, tall) can go workout.  Believe me when I tell you that you will not be the first fat person to walk into the gym and you will not be the last.  Worst case scenario? The Membership Coordinator might ask if you’re interested in losing weight and – guess what? – you are!  I weighed over 300 pounds when I joined my gym and no one batted an eye.  If I can do it then so can you.

The machines at the gym are scary.  I don’t know how anything works.

This is probably a legitimate bad excuse because no one wants to look like an idiot or, worse yet, get hurt.  Thankfully, the gym probably employs several people who can help you navigate the vast depths of cardio and weight machines (hint: they’re the ones standing around wearing matching shirts).  If you’re not sure how something works all you have to do is ask and they’ll help you.  And a lot of gyms offer free orientation for new members, where a trainer will walk you around and explain how to use different machines.  If that’s still too scary (and it’s okay if it is) start on something basic like the elliptical and do some trial and error with the different settings.  Go ahead and push the buttons, you won’t break it.


I won’t be as fast as everyone else.

No one cares.  Seriously.  No one cares how fast or slow you go.  True, they might notice you’re not running as fast as they are, but that kind of observation gets filed away with things like what color shirt you’re wearing and where they parked the minivan.  Just for argument’s sake let’s say you happen to be on the treadmill next to a marathon runner.  He’s busting out six-minute mile after six-minute mile and you’re walking at a slow and steady pace.  Chances are the Marathon Man is too focused on his own workout to care much about what you’re doing.   He’s busy with other things like breathing, sweating and possibly resisting the urge to stop for a bathroom break.  He’s not wasting time thinking about you so don’t waste time thinking about him!  There’s always going to be someone bigger, stronger and faster than you.  Don’t use it as an excuse to stay away; use it as motivation to keep pushing yourself.

People will make fun of me.

Ahh, this one is scary, but I’ve got good news and bad news.  The good news is that going to the gym now isn’t the same as going to gym class in junior high school.  There’s no bullish gym teacher screaming at you to climb a rope or run sprints around the track.  You can start off with something familiar, build some confidence and go from there.  Just because your gym offers group fitness classes doesn’t mean someone’s going to force you to participate.  If you’re emotionally uncomfortable with something (for me it’s lifting free weights on the main floor with the big bulky dudes) then do something else.  The bad news?  It’s possible someone might make fun of you.  I’m not going to sugarcoat it; there are some sad, nasty people out in the world and yes, you might eventually run into one of them at the gym.  Then again you might not, so I guess the question is are you going to let the idea of a bully keep you from reaching a goal that’s important to you?

I’ve been a member of my gym for more than a year and I still have good and bad days.  I go in the morning when it’s less crowded because I don’t like to sweat around other people.  When I miss more than a day or two I get paranoid that the staff will quietly judge me for being a slacker.   At least once a week I see a senior citizen who could totally kick my ass.  And yet I’ve lived to tell the tale, with only the teeniest bit of emotional scarring.  It turns out I’m a lot stronger and tougher than I ever gave myself credit for, and I’m willing to bet you are too.

Want a Thursday helping of MizFit? Head to Annabel & Jen’s blogs.  They’ve invited me over to play answer a fitness question  as they’ve lost a cumulative 250 pounds & are currently challenging each other to lose the final 10.

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Comments

  1. Excellent post! I wouldn’t join a gym for so long for many of the same reasons, along with “I’ll hurt myself,” which is why I went to private studio training first. I doubt I’ll ever feel 100% comfortable (not after the push-ups on the ball face plant incident last year), but I’m strong enough to do it anyway and laugh when it doesn’t always work so well. 🙂

  2. ohhhhhhhhh i love it! I suffer from acute gym paranoia but I literally force myself to go! Thanks for this post – so helpful!!!!!!!!

    xxx

  4. My concern of moola make it so that I don’t have a gym membership, but if I could afford it at the moment I’m sure some of these concerns would come in. People judge…its’ what they do. But, being too fat for the gym is probably not as much of a deal for them or something they consider (or consider much). In fact, I usually think “good for them for doing something for their health.” That’s what matters, right!?

  5. As someone who works at a gym, let me say that the people who work there will only judge you if you (a) do something gross and avoidable (pee somewhere other than a bathroom, spit on the floor) or (b) try to get free training advice (“what should I do to get a six pack”).

  7. you KNOW I agree with Tricia as well.
    Actually I disagree with the last comment as I never cared when people wanted free advice when they were willing to TAKE IT AND RUN WITH IT.

    I grew weary when people repeatedly asked the same questions in hopes Id say, for example,:

    RUB ON THIS CREME, SIT ON THE COUCH, WATCH REAL HOUSEWIVES, AND YOU’LL HAVE A 6 PACK BY THE MORROW!

  8. What a great post!

    I’m not overweight myself, and have flailed around in gyms long enough to feel mostly comfortable ( even if I’m often technically doing things wrong).

    So I could easily be that confident looking person whom a heavy newbie worries might be judging them.

    And you know what? SOMETIMES I AM INDEED JUDGING YOU. I am thinking, “way to go! You are awesome! Hope you hang in there, getting started is the tough part.”

    And then I forget all about you and focus on the fact that someone is on MY elliptical machine and will they ever let me use it?

    I have never felt anything but admiration for heavy people who go to the gym. I totally get why in our fat-phobic society it may feel uncomfortable, but if fat people could rea the minds of the people around them at the gym, there would be surprisingly little to fear.

  9. I had this problem also – I just knew joining the gym was the worst mistake I could make! But I am proud to say as of today I would rather go the gym then eat out which for me is a HUGE accomplishment.

    Thanks for sharing with us!

    Mara
    http://24stepstogo.blogspot.com/

  10. This is great! So so true. The other thing is, people are usually too busy caught up with themselves to notice who else is at the gym 🙂

    When I first joined, I chose a gym by myself that no one I knew went to. I found that made me more confident because it was just me with a bunch of strangers, and I didn’t feel self conscious about it. These days if I use the gym its the one at the university so I know everyone, but I feel much more confident about being there and if I don’t know how something works, I just get on it and try. We’ll never learn if we don’t make mistakes.

  11. Great guest post!

    Personally, I don’t use my fat as an excuse for not going to the gym. I have an entire ranch to play/exercise on, so why jump in the car and drive half an hour to get to town to spend money in a smelly, sweaty room, when I can spend time in the great outdoors?

  13. I love the part where she writes “If you’re emotionally uncomfortable with something (for me it’s lifting free weights on the main floor with the big bulky dudes) then do something else.” I actually revel in it personally…I love to walk up to the big boy weights and be like yeah, look at me working out with the big boys…I’m sooo Diesel! (This coming from a curvy soft, pale-skinned, red-head.)…lol. But I do truly love the challenge of using free weights.

    My friend Lynn who just joined the gym a month or two ago and she has found an unexpected love for it. If you have options, shop around and find a gym that really suits you and that you’ll enjoy. For me, I like the “spa” options, not that I ever use them, but it’s nice to know that I can go into the steam room or whirlpool whenever I feel like it…a nice idea to know you have that lovely escape.

  14. Yeah, I notice it when heavy people join up, but what I’m thinking is “I really, really hope they get in here and work out more than twice a week.”

    Like Tricia said, we definitely notice if you do something gross, like wear the same clothes for a month without washing them.

    I do NOT mind when people want advice from me. I’m more than happy to offer twice as much information as what they asked for!

  15. Wow. This post really hit home. I gotta be honest — during my health journey, I would not hit the gym precisely because I felt “too fat” to join the “fit crowd” and thought that I would be a spectacle. Looking back, I want to slap the old me, but eh, no time transport machine’s available yet. Thankfully, I now relish opportunities to do something that makes me uncomfortable as it forces me to grow into a stronger person. If I ever worry someone is going to “judge me,” I quickly turn my worried little frown into a smile. There is no way in hell what some random person thinks about my body, my life, whatever, is going to impede on me or slow me down from accomplishing my goals. And that’s just it — I was enabling a poor lifestyle when I would let fear of what others thought keep me at home instead of at the gym. It became ME who was halting my progress, not other people. That’s no way to live in any aspect of life. Be a warrior!
    ok that’s my 10 cents.

  16. Heh, I’m one of those paranoid people who is convinced that everyone around them is secretly judging them. The gym is actually one of the only places where I can consistently tune that out. Usually because I’m too busy just trying not to die while I work out ^_^ Great guest post!

  17. She would be a great motivational speaker, I could use her as my inner voice, you know the one that says, I’m tired, I’ll do it later. LOL

    I will difinately take some time to read her blog. Thanks Miz

  18. The motto, “just do it,” works as well with going to the gym as anything. It can be an acquired taste, if you keep going, you will acquire it 🙂

  19. I’m not a gym rat, but was one in my former life as a very young adult. The 1st day there is similar to the feeling of being the new kid in school. There will be some that judge, but after two days you end up wearing the school colors and you’re now part of the group. I know that there are tons of High School English teachers across the world smiling when bloggers compose wonderful posts like these. Thanks for the new blog to visit.

  21. This is the post i needed to read today! Definitely have been gym-phobic for a while now, but this should kick my tush into gear to join up and get with the program. 🙂

  22. Great post. I can definitely identify with the fear of the unknown– it’s what keeps me from joining certain classes. I also think the friendlier gyms for people who are fat, or less in shape, or older, or just generally self conscious about their bodies tend to be community rec centers/YMCAs (at least in my area)– they are so much less intimidating and generally where I live they are more diverse.

  23. What a great post! I’ve been a gym member for a long time, and the only people who I ever feel negatively about in the gym are the ones who don’t look like they are trying. If you look like you are there with a purpose- and that purpose isn’t to sit and gab on the machine I want to use- then I think you’re great.

    And just like in ever other part of life, there are jerks. But remember, when people say and do jerky things, it’s a reflection on THEM, not YOU. If you say to yourself, “I can’t believe he/she said that!” it’s because you’re a good person and you wouldn’t even consider saying something like that.

  24. Great post…and I wish I could have believed it 80 pounds ago. But it’s true – you are never “too fat” for the gym and what have you got to lose?!? I still kick myself sometimes for not getting started sooner.

  25. I loved this so much. People have preconceived ideas about a gym even before setting foot in one. It’s like she said, everyone is pretty much going about what they’re doing most of the time, and it’s actually the mind set that most people have to be done with the workout and showered by a certain time so they can make it to work, well at least the hours I go. 🙂

  26. I know a lot of folks who won’t join a gym for the same reasons. (Kinda like how I won’t hire a maid service until my house is cleaner.
    Yeah, I’m a bit nuts.)
    My advice is to join a Y, a JCC, or a community center gym. I used to belong to the Y, and now I work at a JCC (Jewish Community Center). The facilities are on par with the higher-end gyms, but the clientele run the gamut from infants to high school athletes to gym bunnies and rats to octogenarians.
    There is no sense of judgement, and it’s not a meat market. And there are tons of classes and programs.

  27. Great post. I worry too about being too fat, thinking everyone is looking at me and thinking “what is she doing here? She’s making a fool of herself”. I realize rationally that this isn’t happening; they hopefully are thinking “good for her for trying to get fit”. Yesterday my trainer gave me some workout gloves as a little gift & to prevent me from getting callouses on my hands. I worried people would be thinking “what the heck is she doing with those? There’s no way she could be fit enough to need those!”. Hmm…maybe I need to give my brain a workout too, teach it to start thinking positively about myself!! 🙂

  28. I so could have written this post (then it wouldn’t be half as funny : )) —-thank you Fat Bridesmaid!!

  29. Late to commenting today and wanted to say a big THANK YOU to FB and to MizFit for having you here.

    Consider me a new reader.

    Awesome post as I really fear that people are sniggering at me while i work out.

    I’m trying to get over that.

  30. LOVED this post! I agree with a few commenters. When I see a heavier person working out, I think to myself, “good for you for taking control of your life and your health!” So I guess I do judge, but I’m think nothing but postivie thoughts for my fellow gym-goers UNLESS you are one of those guys (or girls, sometimes) who are grunting, swinging around weights that are too heavy for you to you look like a rock star. Those people crack me up. So don’t do that, and you’re good.

    I also think finding the right gym is super important. You want a place where the employees are friendly and helpful, and don’t try to sell you every powder and supplement alive (my gym doesn’t even sell those).

    I love my gym because it’s small, family-owned, and literally people off all ages and shapes work out there. It has all the equipment I need, it’s usually never crowded. And as far as the cost goes, I sometimes use that to motivate me to go…the more often I get in there, the cheaper it is per visit 🙂

  31. Great post. I’m currently trying to drag myself out of the excuse, “But I was going so often and stopped, and if I go back now EVERYONE WILL JUDGE ME.” I know it’s an excuse, but I’m using it anyway. Time to knock it off. *SIGH*

  32. Good stuff!

    I resisted joining a gym for a long time because I was intimidated. I’m a bit of a mouse really, and walking into new places/situations terrifies me. But I eventually did join a gym and I survived! I even enjoyed it!

    I don’t have a gym membership these days because exercising at home just works better for me right now, but I am glad that I had the experience and if my situation ever changes so that gym membership makes sense again, I won’t hesitate to join.

  33. Whenever I feel paranoid about people judging me at the gym I repeat my favorite mantra, “if I’m not looking at you then you are not looking at me.” I put my head down and I get to work.

    I also think to myself, “if I ever run into anyone I see at the gym outside the gym I’m guaranteed to look 100x better after a shower then I do right now.” They can only think better of me outside this place!

    Great post, FB. 🙂

  34. Awesome post!! I think we’ve all been there. There’s a fabulous woman’s only gym in my town that I would love to go to, but they terrify me. I applied for a reception job there a couple of years ago and the girls behind the counter were icy to say the last, so I’ve been too scared to go back. I’m trying to work up the courage though….and things like this really help!!

  35. FANTASTIC POST! I am like Crabby.. people probably think I am judging them but I am just happy that a person is willing to try to make their life healthier! I work out when few do but I do see some of the heavier people then at times. The only thing that bugs me is when I see people come in as a pair, let’s say, 2 gals working out together & rather than really work it, they are barely moving & talking non stop. Now, I mean people that can work at a harder pace but are just going thru the motions. It is more a chat session. Granted, better something than nothing but if you are there at that time, why not work out.

    Also, being fit, I have had people judge me thinking I may be a know it all. NOT. I relish learning new things. I watch any person that comes in that gym when I am there if they are doing something different or interesting & when they break, I will ask them about it. For me, it is about getting fit & healthy & learning new stuff!

  37. Oh my goodness – I want to print this out and make it into flyers and hand it out to everyone I know that is afraid of working out. Way to tell it, sister:)

  38. Love this. For some reason, never really had this paranoia (perhaps cuz I was an active kid and it was familiar, just not RECENTLY familiar), and I’ll echo the sentiment. I could care less what you’re doing or how you’re doing it in my gym as long as you don’t get in my way (hehe). I’m sure when I’m on the treaddy busting out sprints someone MAY have had a thought like this getting on the one next to me (or just been fearful for my safety while I’m flailing around), but I assure you – I’m too focused on what I’m doing to care if you’re beating me or you’re doing a leisurely stroll.

    And if I wasn’t – who cares? I’m a perfect stranger, and I’m allowed to think whatever the heck I want about you, and you shouldn’t give a hoot, because you should be wrapped up in you and what you’re doing! 🙂

    Planet Fitness is a great place to go if there’s one in your town – it’s cheap, and they are all about the non-judgment thing.

  39. I am so moved and inspired when I see very overweight people at the gym. I applaud them their courage and their determination to do it even if it is hard or uncomfortable. I have a harder time seeing super skinny, desperate looking people at the gym and I wonder what they are running from. (as opposed to skinny or happy fit people)

  40. This was a great post. Back when I started getting in shape I was sure everyone was looking at me…then I realised noone cared and a few people I saw every day started saying hi…and I saw that the buffed girls I envied worked thier asses off to get…well…their asses and I felt better. I asked questions and people were very nice to me. There’s the odd jerk, but hey that’s life!

  41. I had a gym junkie friend who thought that heavier people were the most impressive in a gym. Mainly because they were doing the hard yards to get fitter and in his opinion thought that they got extra help from the trainers because everyone was so proud of them and enjoyed watching them improve. But then, I always feel uncomfortable at a gym, not because of size but because everyone there seems so determined!

  42. What a great post and I felt the exact same way until I finally got over the fear and insecurity and just went. Truthfully in the beginning I went at off hours until I got my confidence up then after a few months and a few lbs lost I was in the trenches with the rest of them!

  43. Excellent post, and I know so many people will be encouraged by it. I was afraid to go to the gym at first as well, but my dear husband went with me to workout for the first 5 or 6 months, which helped tremendously. Having a buddy who will go there with you, especially someone who may already know the ropes, can be really helpful.

  45. I love the honesty in this post and I can completely relate. I’m actually a frequent gym goer, but I have those thoughts run through my head too. I try to tell myself, thanks to Ipods, most people are totally lost in their own worlds anyway and probably don’t even notice my sweaty non-svelte bod shakin it on the treadmill. HA!

  46. I’m hooked on the gym! I go almost every day. I used to always be the biggest in any class, now maybe only half the time. Of course, it helps that I can bike there in 5 minutes, or 10 for the other one, I really have no excuse not to go (unless I’m really tired-not common)

  47. Great guest post. Thank you!
    I miss the gym. I felt unsure the first time I went too but I found a small locally owned place (Body Bus.) with great staff and worked out with a group of people from 14-80 and from size 0-who knows.

  48. Great post! I had a lot of the same concerns, but frankly I love going to gym. You’re so right, the fit people are focusing on their workouts. And there are more people are admiring you for working out at your size than people making fun of you. And let’s face it, unfortunately you’re just as likely to be made fun of at the grocery store than the gym!

  49. Great post! As one of the skinny people who feels perfectly at home in the gym I can assure anyone who has self-doubts about going to try to get over it. Seriously, Fat Bridesmaid is right. No one cares. If anything, we’re proud of you for trying.

    Keep up the great work out!!

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