Striving for Simplicity: Living a year with less (guest post).

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Near the end of 2012, my hubby and I were dealing with the typical aftermath of the holiday season with our 2 young sons, age 2 and 10 months at the time.

I was getting ready to head back to work in February and contemplating the changes about to take place in our lives.

I’ll be the first to admit that the idea of shuffling two young kids to daycare was not something I was looking forward to any more than the knowledge that while I was at work, I’d be missing out of the randomness that so filled our lives with much laughter and fun.

I was feeling the stress and the pressure of this impending change and how it would redefine our family dynamic.

In the midst of this, the topic of quality time was somehow brought up and it became painfully obvious that this was something we were lacking in our family.

We tried with moderate success to blame the life stage that we were in and the semi-true fact that it’s hard to find quality time for anything when you have toddlers ruling your household.

Though there is an amount of truth to this, the way we were living was playing an integral part in our lack-luster family time.

I wouldn’t go so far to say that we were doing anything wrong, but there was definitely room for improvement.

When we sat down to evaluate why we always felt “too busy”, “too stressed”, “too overwhelmed” the answer became very clear to us: Too. Much. Stuff.

We were literally drowning in the physical “stuff.”

Toys that were cluttering the house but not being played with. Clothes bursting out of drawers and closets that weren’t being worn. Technology that was increasingly “demanding” our time simply because it was all around us.

Something needed to change. It was time for a serious purge.

Our goal as a family in 2013 was to reduce our excess by half. Half the toys, half the clothes, half the clutter.

We spent a painstakingly long week getting rid of stuff we deemed we didn’t need, even if the item was something we used regularly. Among the purging victims were a computer, iPod Touch, half of our clothes, extra dishes and kitchen tools, towels, you name it, nothing was overlooked.

What resulted was 3 entire car loads (think child seats removed, packed to the roof) full of bags, boxes and other perfectly good items that were hauled over to the local thrift store.

And this was just January.

Throughout the rest of the year, we made several more trips with donations and sold a few items online. All the while, not spending any money on anything that wasn’t considered a need.

What resulted from this purge? Less distraction, less clutter and a huge surge in family engagement.

It’s amazing that such a simple process (though it was emotionally painful at times), gave us such freedom: physically, emotionally and financially.

It’s also a practice that has become a bit addictive.

Suddenly, it took less time to clean up toys because there were less toys. Laundry wasn’t a day long activity and less technology meant we were looking at each other instead of screens and monitors.

We now approach our purchases as “Do we need this?”

Nothing gets purchased without dual adult consent (and eventually, child consent when they’re a bit older) and with adequate rationale of the “need” in question.

It’s made for some grumpy days and pouting but in the end, we’ve never suffered for not having more than we need.

Stephanie is a working Mom of 2 little boys, flawed housekeeper, runner, aspiring triathlete, coffee lover, Christ-follower, lover of life, red wine and all around mediocre chef.

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Comments

  3. I am glad to have a small house with no storage, no garage and no extra $ to buy “stuff”- I love throwing/giving things away that I find are not useful to me anymore, but may be a treasure from someone else. My best day was the day I gave the highchair, car seat, crib, changing table, etc, etc. back to the thrift store from where I initially purchased. I have never been a “stuff” person-maybe it was from growing up in a large family and going to the local dump for dress up clothes and bikes. Thanks mom and dad!

  4. I think the stuff is often about filling a gap. Once I got rid of a job I hated (and started following my passion) I found I didn’t need to accumulate as much stuff. I love taking bags of things off to the thrift store. 🙂

  5. Such a great post! Simplicity is one of our values too, but it can be really hard to figure out what that should look like in our day to day life. And the older our daughter gets, the more pressure there is to keep up with her peers (at what age will she be begging for a cell phone? designer clothes?) but we’re working hard to teach contentment…. what we have is enough, and if we think we need more, we will never be happy even if we get it all.

  7. This sounds so freeing!!! I dream of the day my house is only ‘needs’. Right now, even my small apartment could use a declutter overhaul, forget about the excess “stuff” I’ve got stored at my parents’ house. I have been making baby steps, doing a little bit at a time, and it always does make a difference and leaves me feeling slightly more energized. But ripping off the band-aid with carloads at once.. wow.

    Thanks for the inspiration. Time to make 2014 my year for LESS .

  8. Love this – I am an anti-stuff person completely. People always comment on how we are one of the few houses in the neighborhood that actually uses their garage for their cars – I’ll never understand having boxes and boxes of stuff that one never uses.

    • A friend of mine has a three car garage that is totally filled with “stuff!” He’s about one thing shy of being on a hoarder reality show 🙁

  10. What a great post! So true and it really does make a difference when we free up our lives from “stuff”.

  11. Yes and amen. To paraphrase a Cathy comic strip, we want more out of life but less in it. It’s what i’ve been trying to do for a while, get rid of the excess.

  12. This is such a fantastic post.
    I have fallen prey to try and fill my voids with stuff and it never works.

  14. Less stuff and less stress. I changed my world 6 months ago and sold almost everything I have. All I have is two packs. I now travel the world working online. It’s the ultimate freedom. Granted you do have some stress, I only have 4 pairs of socks..haha, but the challenge and freedom is worth it. Harder to do with family but have met many who have.

  15. Raised a daughter (now 27) who did NOT have a cell phone, computer in room, t.v. in room, trips to Phoenix to see Britanny Spears, the latest shoes/dresses/etc. etc. She lives in a 330 sq ft apt in Chicago now and has what she needs- her bed, a yoga mat and small fridge and stove/oven to cook healthy/nutritious food while she feeds her soul on helping troubled youngsters and aging adults at a live-in facility. You are allowed to say “no”.

  16. And there is a place where “less is more” does NOT work- at the workplace, specifically public schools. Less money doesn’t equate to “more” in terms of what we can do with our kids and time we can spend with them individually because we are short staffed. Less is not always a good thing.

  17. Stephanie – you know I read your own post about this & so supportive of all you do & your passion for life! It is your life so it is what is right for you! 🙂 LOVE!!!

  19. This is such a great post. We have so much stuff and so many things. Not as much as we would if we lived in a house vs. an apartment but still. So much is not necessary and we could easily get rid of it. It is amazing the power our physical surroundings have on our emotional and internal landscape.

  22. I could take your lead. My kids are 13 and 16, and they don’t know the meaning of “cleaning out a closet.” Their dresser drawers don’t close, and I’m sure there are items that are more than 3 sizes too small. I bet their rooms would stay cleaner if their clothes would fit somewhere 🙂

  26. I love trying something new and after hard work and practise been.able to do it.
    There is no comfort then that, and familiarity with the same thing…but when I try something new and soon accomplish it I feel so very proud,…

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  2. […] Striving for Simplicity: Living a Year with Less via Carla Birnberg because I’ve definitely been on a “get rid of junk I don’t need anymore” mode lately, but I’ve got room to improve. […]

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