The Mom Manifesto (guest post).

I am almost at a loss to write an introduction to this guest post.

Mish is a woman I’ve long admired. A woman I met back in her single days. She was markedly younger than I, yet I’d often find myself thanking her for sharing life-insights & telling her how wise beyond her years she was.

Mish is a trailblazer. She launched the EXPOSED movement, touched many lives and did it all without a shred of “OK, so what’s in this for me??”

Mish is amazing. She’s an American living in Australia and a woman I *wish* I’d had as a neighbor during my early, exhausted, lonely motherhood days.

Carla note: I could eat both of these faces off.

I’ve always wanted kids.

In fact, before I had our daughter I wanted 4.

Now, I’m happy with one.

I never full understood how much it changes the connection and identity I have of myself as a woman.

I have three degrees. Two Masters with Honors. Moved overseas on my own, travelled around the world to crazy places and spent years finding my own voice.

I’m independent, educated, opinionated and a fiercely hard worker. I’m farm stock. I have an American heart and drive. I border on burnout and crazy fun all at the same time.

I do not regret (ever!) having our daughter, being married and wearing maternity tank-tops 14 months after my daughter has come earth-side.

What I do regret is not being gentler with myself in the blur of motherhood.

The tension for some of us can be huge.

Being a mother is holistically challenging and transformative.

It is the most self-less, least self-absorbed thing you can do.

It’s constant.

Gone are the days of 2 hours long coffee chats that vacillate between pop culture, religion, politics and future plans.

I’m happy to just drink my coffee while it’s hot.

In many ways motherhood is incredibly counter-cultural to the modern woman that is being catapulted to our young girls, our high school seniors and college graduates who enter the workforce.

Educated. Equal. Dynamic. Driven. Focused. Doer.

Being an independent woman who is career driven, educated, and in many ways self-absorbed/focused is an impossible manifesto to maintain when you have children.

I don’t know how I feel about the image of the ‘modern mother’ because it is overly healthy.

I think the issue is that we don’t give women the space in the feminine journey, if they choose motherhood, to be Moms and be ok with it.

To just BE in the life space demanded of motherhood and to change and morph into it as a woman.

In fact, we expect that it’s an ADDITION to the already mounting expectations of the modern woman.

It’s not fair, it’s exhausting, and it’s dangerous.

I have had to learn to be willing to release some of the balls of the juggling act of woman/wife/mother and know it’s a season in my life.

To give myself the space to let go of what was and embrace what is my role now, even if it feels foreign.

Even if I’m not always sure what it is.

Having my daughter has made me raw in so many ways: spiritually, emotionally, physically, mentally.

Pushed me into limits I didn’t know I had.

It has also enlightened me far beyond any expectations I had of myself and made me deal with my short-comings.

Now it’s about being fed half-eaten toast by my jam covered fingers, running in the grass, reading a book on the floor, or giving extra cuddles to bed.

Knowing that not all boxes are ticked, the house isn’t perfect, and I may not have had an adult conversation all day (or week for that matter) but that I haven’t lost who I am.

I’m simply evolving as a woman.

More dynamic, authentic & fierce.

Comments

Bea says
August 7, 2015 at 4:57 am

Motherhood is the greatest thing I’ve ever hated at times.
- Camille Smith says
  August 18, 2015 at 5:20 am
  
  Bea, why you hated motherhood? I read a lot of wonderful journey about motherhood and reading those stories I feel amazed and respect a lot of mothers out their. Hard but fulfilling, this is I always heard from them.
Runner Girl says
August 7, 2015 at 5:03 am

I am terrified and excited to be a mom.
What you say about evolving, however, make me more excited.
I want to evolve LOL
Nancy says
August 7, 2015 at 6:39 am

Recently here it is more a moment to moment to manifesto than anything else 🙂 I am struggling to be in the space.
Debbie says
August 7, 2015 at 7:02 am

This: “I have had to learn to be willing to release some of the balls of the juggling act of woman/wife/mother and know it’s a season in my life.”

A beautiful, beautiful post.
Jennifer says
August 7, 2015 at 7:21 am

Loved reading Mish’s post. Now as my kids are growing up (oldest off to college in 2 weeks), I wondering / struggling with what my role is . . . it’s always changing. change is changing!
Wanda says
August 7, 2015 at 8:50 am

I read every book out there and talked to every friend and I don’t think anything could have prepared me for the ride of motherhood. This is beautiful.
Hannah says
August 7, 2015 at 10:54 am

I admire you. I’m just heading down the path to motherhood now (I am due in eight weeks) and I’m terrified. And I’m excited.
Great post.
Jennice Powell says
August 7, 2015 at 12:45 pm

Beautifully said! You sound serene and accepting of your life no matter how chaotic this journey into motherhood can get. Good for you!
mimi says
August 7, 2015 at 2:32 pm

There is nothing wrong with throwing yourself into a season of life and living it for all it is worth, and then moving on to the next season. Full-time at home mom can be such a season, it was for me. It makes the next season richer, and you bring a fuller experience to it. At least, that’s what i’m finding.
michelle says
August 8, 2015 at 6:43 am

This is beautiful…
cheryl says
August 8, 2015 at 8:50 am

Wish I had had more time w/my daughter when she was little. I had to work as my her dad (no longer married to him) was out of a job and wasn’t willing to be a SAHD so I had to find childcare outside the home. It was probably the hardest thing I ever did-leaving her with a total stranger and then going to work day after day to teach other people’s children…
But today she is a 28 year old, with a second degree and is fiercely independent and starting a new career. She doesn’t remember those times, which alleviates some of my guilt. I had to do what I had to do to keep food on the table and pay the mortgage/bills. He finally left and I don’t regret being a single mom who raised her, put her through college, as she appreciates now, the sacrifices I made. Being present and there for your kid is great as long as someone else is paying the bills….lucky you!
Mahée Ferlini says
August 12, 2015 at 3:40 am

Motherhood certainly is a big responsibility. It should be considered and planned out as much as possible. However once the baby arrives a lot of things seem to come naturally. I wish the best for you and your daughter. Thank you for sharing your post!