Please welcome Jan and her response to my recent Skinny Shaming post. I’m so grateful she’s here to share the Skinny Shaming perspective…
When a plus-sized runner hit the cover of Women’s Running magazine, it created quite a stir in media land.
Comments I read ranged from the supportive, it’s-about-time, to those that expressed a concern about putting someone who is “obviously unhealthy” on the cover of a fitness magazine.
Regardless of what side of the scale you’re on, it most likely made you think about the social issues that those who are overweight must face. For me, and perhaps my fellow beanpole people, it also brought to mind the issues that “skinny” people deal with.
I’ve always been tall and thin.
When my friends were getting boobs and periods, I was growing taller, and praying for both boobs and periods.
Surprisingly, I was never teased much during my school years about being what my mother called a beanpole.
My cat eye glasses brought on far more taunting than my lack of weight and curves. It wasn’t until adulthood that the comments started, and I realized there were some other hurdles I’d be continually jumping over.
At my current age of 54, I’m five feet, seven inches tall, and weigh around 110.
Have you ever tried clothes shopping when everything your size is in the junior section?
Skinny, low-rider jeans and sparkly, neon-colored t-shirts aren’t exactly what I want to wear right now. Wardrobe issues aside, it’s the random comments that sometimes get the best of me.
“If you’d gain some weight, you wouldn’t always be cold.”
“Here’s a carrot stick –should I cut it in half so you don’t eat too much at once?”
“Do you have an eating disorder?”
“If you didn’t run and work out so much, you’d be a normal weight, like everyone else.”
“Aren’t you getting a little old to be so skinny?”
These are some comments that have been tossed at me recently.
Is it okay for people to say these things? NO!
Are these comments as hurtful as if I told an overweight person to lose some weight so they wouldn’t be so hot? YES!
Yet, from my side of the scale, most of society views it as acceptable to say these things to thin people.
It’s not acceptable, it never has been, and never will be!
I try to eat healthy food because it makes me feel good, not because I’m trying to fit into a size 3.
I run and stay physically active because I love it, not because I’m striving for a certain number on the scale.
In my perfect world, no one would be labeled and there would be no hurtful comments, because no one would judge anyone else.
Sadly, nobody lives in my perfect world, not even me.
The world we do live in might be a little less hurtful if we remember that people on both sides of the scale have feelings.
Not even beanpoles are immune to hurtful comments.
Jan is a mom, wife, runner, and fitness fanatic who loves the ocean and insanely hot temperatures. Although she’s currently being held hostage in Wyoming (not really – but sort of), her escape plan is in effect. Writing (she blogs!), running, and a slightly twisted sense of humor help her make sense of this crazy world.
Allie says
August 28, 2015 at 4:37 amI love this! Although I am NOT a beanpole, I am thin and I get the comment about “eat something so you’re not cold!” all the time!!! I mean, really??
You look beautiful and I hope you’re comfortable in your beanpole skin 🙂 Good luck with the wardrobe as I’m short and thin and have similar struggles!!
Carla says
August 28, 2015 at 8:18 amI REALLY cant believe how little filter people have—and that’s coming from a woman who has no filter 🙂
MY SHARED THOUGHTS, however, are always kind.
As I tell the nine year old: you can think whatever you want–I cant stop you and I dont know–but watch and consider what you say before you say it.
Susie @ SuzLyfe says
August 28, 2015 at 5:37 amJan, I think you would look fabulous in the stylings of the Limited Too! (are those even still around anymore?) Just think of all of the extra ground that you cover while I deet-deet-deet next to you with my short legs. YOU ROCK
Coco says
August 28, 2015 at 6:41 amI’m not tall and skinny, but I am petite. Just last week I was trying on clothes and when the saleswoman asked about a dress I said “It was too big.” She said, “Oh, what a shame – a size four [the smallest size they carry] is too big for you?!” She wasn’t trying to be mean, it just show how culturally ingrained it is.
Michele @ paleorunningmomma says
August 28, 2015 at 6:44 amPeople always seem to be surprised that I’m always hot rather than cold! Though I don’t really get mean comments, I have always felt that pressure to eat more and more my whole life stemming from all those comments in childhood. You look wonderful, healthy and happy, of course that is all that matters!
lisa says
August 28, 2015 at 7:23 ami am sorry that any of those words fly at you. what i really don’t understand is why people cannot say the nice things. the supportive things. the loving things. why feel the need to ask the dumb insensitive questions. you look amazing. you are healthy. happy. THAT is what is important. people. they amaze me ;(
Heather@hungryforbalance says
August 28, 2015 at 7:25 amIt never fails to amaze me how insensitive people can be and how they let their own insecurities color their view of the world. I am sorry that people can be so cruel. Good for you for doing things like eating healthy and exercising for you and because they make you feel good.
Leanne@crestingthehill says
August 28, 2015 at 8:13 amI’m 5ft 8” and I envy you your love of running and healthy food. I’m nowhere near as slim as you are (I might be if I could convince myself that I could run). I think people say thoughtless things before they think what impact it can have. They don’t intend to be mean – they just blurt. I think you look great and I absolutely envy your love flat tummy! ~ Leanne
nancy@skinnykitchen.com says
August 28, 2015 at 8:20 amCarla, I’m so glad your shared Jan’s story.
Rena McDaniel says
August 28, 2015 at 8:28 amI had never thought about this until Carla brought it up, but I should have. Having always been on the other side of the scale I only thought about it from my own perspective which is exactly what the problem is. We need to quit looking at things from only our own perspectives and start thinking about ALL perspectives the world would be a little nicer. Great post!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
August 28, 2015 at 8:45 amThank you, thank you! Well and accurately said! xoxo
kymberly says
August 28, 2015 at 9:24 amWhat comebacks have you come up with, if any? Rudeness deserves to be outed!
Dr. J says
August 28, 2015 at 9:39 amBravo, I can relate. I’m built like Bruce Lee, been a runner for a long time, and all about functional fitness. I’ve written about the cutting things people have said to me. I don’t care. I’ve been very healthy and fit, and I work hard for it. It allows me to live an active life when many of my contemporaries cannot due to diseases or worse.
Steve John says
August 29, 2015 at 12:50 ami love walking and running like you.
Wendy@Taking the Long Way Home says
August 29, 2015 at 4:03 pmLove this! I’ve been thin my whole life. I get these comments all the time! Just yesterday, someone told me to stop running, that I”m “thin enough” already. When we were trying to conceive, people told me I couldn’t because I was “too thin”. And being called skinny is not a compliment. Let’s just stop talking about people’s bodies, please.
mimi says
August 29, 2015 at 4:52 pmExactly and Amen! It’s not okay!
As for clothes, i’m 5′ 0″ and on a good day about 100lbs, so i know what you mean about the juniors department and clothing. Even the supposedly “petite” stuff isn’t really.
Oh, and even when i was very overweight, i was cold. Weight doesn’t always have anything to do with that.
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Jan says
August 30, 2015 at 7:14 amThank you everyone for your responses. Wouldn’t the world be a nicer place if everyone really thought about what they were about to say before saying it? To answer Kymberly’s question about what comebacks I’ve used, usually it’s something sarcastic, like “Yes, please do cut up that carrot stick, I’m watching my weight.” Most of the time I just ignore the comment.
cheryl says
August 30, 2015 at 7:03 pmWhen I get comments I just brush them off…I would actually have to care about the person first to have their comment affect me. I don’t so it doesn’t.
And then I tell them how I won my age group at the triathlon last weekend…that usually shuts anyone up.
michelle says
August 31, 2015 at 1:48 pmcalling someone out on their appearance is wrong regardless of body type.
I have no idea why people think this behavior is okay.
Tara | Treble in the Kitchen says
September 4, 2015 at 10:28 amI love this! Body shaming in ANY form is just no good.
Katie says
September 5, 2015 at 6:33 pmI could have written this!! I’m the same size, height, and weight, though *only* 36. I get these, and more hurtful, comments daily. I get looks. I get sneers. I get all kinds of mean spirited looks and remarks. Skinny shaming is real. Would you ever say to an overwight person “you wouldn’t be hot all the time if you lost weight”. NOPE.
And yes to the junior clothes. UGH.