Once upon a time we had a bullmastiff named Hercules (may he rest in peace/spill out some doggie chow for our fallen homie).
Hercules was an anxious dog.
So frazzle-ridden in fact, we nicknamed him Flinchy because of his tendency to (waitforit) flinch at the slightest noise or merest of changes in his surroundings.
Flinchy Hercules, however, possessed a habit which quickly caught our attention:
Whenever he was stressed or anxious he commenced licking his forearms & didnt stop until the feeling subsided.
As you can guess it quickly became a family joke, but there were more than a few things I learned from his odd & (st)icky ways.
- Self-soothing is entirely personal. What felt good to herc may not be what Id have chosen to soothe my stresses away (been there. tried that. didnt like the aftergoop.) but for all of us it should boil down to simple techniques which serve to immediately calm.
- Self-soothing is always about experiencing the positive (as really, the forearm goop/dried crusting wasnt hurting anything) versus something negative or self punishing (for Herc that took the form of nail biting for us it might be over-eating, drinking, over-exercising etc.).
- Self-soothing stops when the feeling dissipates. It never ceased to amaze me Herc would lick his forearms until he felt better & then lollop along his merrybrindleway.Β He never licked to irritation. Such should be the same for us & our self-soothing techniques.Β All things in moderation are fine but even soothingstuffs (hello, one glass of wine.Β nice to meet you one trashy tv show) can drag us down if done too long.
- Most importantly: Herc knew what soothed him & (to anthropomorphize a wee bit here) felt distress and knew he was “worth” feeling better.
(Any of us who have spent time around babies know that self-soothing is something we focus upon with them, too.Β I just r-e-a-l-l-y wanted to seize this opportunity to yammer about my dog.Β You’ll have that.)
When I first saw Herc goop himself what surprised me the most was that I had zero clue what my self-soothingΒ technique would be.
After chatting with friends I found that most of them had nary a clue either.
As a result, we gathered as a group (& swore each other to secrecy) and brainstormed about precisely what would soothe our stresses.
Most of our ‘self-soothing ideas took the form of physical experiences. Ways of harnessing sensations to work FOR US and give us the calm, relaxed, centered feelings we desired.
Self-soothing for us had to do with nurturing and being kind to ourselves & we started this exploration by focusing on/writing about what felt soothing to each of our five senses:
- Vision
- Hearing
- Smell
- Taste
- Touch
For me self-soothing takes the form of TOUCH.
For a friend the mere SMELL of cookies baking is enough to spark calming memories/relax her even after the shittiest hardest of days.
For another its all about LISTENING to angry music (!) which allows her to release her frazzle & grow calm.
You get the idea…
So now I turn it back to you:
How do you lick your forearms?Β Do you already have a tried & true method of self-soothing which works even under the greatest of stress?
How did you discover what worked for you?
And, if you’re not yet there, I encourage you to take 5 days (any five!) and explore what calms each of your senses.
Not only did I learn how to self-soothe—–I learned a few other important things about myself as well.
Sarah says
January 5, 2010 at 2:39 amI personally like going to a coffee shop and reading when I’m stressed out. It reminds me that I have time to do things I enjoy and that I don’t have to feel guilty about relaxing.
Yum Yucky says
January 5, 2010 at 4:44 amI will pay you $150 for this awesome therapy session. I need to soothe myself. Duh! I should have known.
Now that I’m done trying to lick my real arms (I misunderstood at first), I’m going to turn the lights down low, put on that trendy new age spa music, and have a nice stretching session.
Thanks Dr. Miz! xoxo
Kate says
January 5, 2010 at 4:53 amI am the mom to twin boys and it seems all I’ve thought about since THEY were tiny is how to help them selfsoothe.
I have never once thought about it for me.
Helen says
January 5, 2010 at 5:05 amI like your notion of self-soothing stopping when the feeling dissipates.
THat is my trouble I think!
I know what relaxes me yet I tend to do it until it makes me feel badly about myself (shopping).
LOL at Hercules not licking to irritation and point taken.
THANKS MIZZY.
Eria says
January 5, 2010 at 5:13 amI’m with Sarah on the coffee. I also like to cook or take a really hot shower π Interesting…never really thought about this topic until now!~
Bea says
January 5, 2010 at 5:15 amGREAT TOPIC!!
I hadn’t thought of it in excaty this manner before yet am one who frequently says; I dont even know what would make me feel better.
I need to think about this a lot.
Sue says
January 5, 2010 at 5:23 amWow. This is a FANTASTIC post and I’m going to retweet it all day. I’m with everybody else that says I help my kids figure out how to self soothe, but I’m not sure I do it for myself.
I’m gonna focus on licking my forearms for realz.
jen (@bwJen) says
January 5, 2010 at 5:32 amMusic! I stick on my ipod or turn the stereo up loud! LOUD music fixes everything! ;P
Hubby pointed out that I tend to “keep busy” or putter around straightening or cleaning things when I am stressed (or can’t quite figure out what is wrong)! I know I want to fix everything…so when I can’t I clean -dishes are my fave when I need to think!
I know it is a bit crazy but hey, you gotta know and love me!
much love!
J
Joanna Sutter says
January 5, 2010 at 5:32 amI knit or read. I just rediscovered my love of both over the New Year’s weekend. A great way to fill my mind with memories of my grandmother or escape into a story that is not my own.
Oh, and coffee with a friend does not hurt either! π
Tammy says
January 5, 2010 at 5:34 amLOVE THIS.
I am a lot like Bea and frequently think: If only I knew what would make me feel better?
Now I know I need to try forearm licking π and then see what else works.
Thank you.
Valerie says
January 5, 2010 at 5:49 amWow. This should probably be so obvious and yet, somehow, wasn’t. π
Honestly, I haven’t a clue. I know what I do to feel better but have never consciously examined the process. My self-soothing techniques have been things like reading, playing computer games, etc – more a way of shutting down the mind. A hot bath is ALWAYS my go-to tactile soother…and frequently combined with reading. π
I think that for me, the struggle is “stop when it feels better”. I have a rather addictive personality and while I’ve never struggle with alcohol or illicit drugs, it’s been an issue with food for sure. It’s also an issue with things that aren’t necessarily destructive but that lead to me not taking care of other responsibilities. I will read all day and do nothing else, for example, if I can get away with it.
This is definite food for thought and I am going to mull this over. Thanks for the insight. π
V.
Jessica says
January 5, 2010 at 5:55 amI love reading trashy magazines or watching reality TV all by myself. It is so mind numbing. π
Evan says
January 5, 2010 at 5:57 amFOOTBALL.
I had no idea that I could call this self-soothing.
Does that mean my girlfriend can not complain any more?
Gena says
January 5, 2010 at 6:10 amI think I have different ways of dealing with each emotion. When I’m mad, I clean. Sad, read a favorite book. Stressed, knit. I’ve never noticed if there is one thing that works for all my icky emotions, but I’ll put some time into thinking about it.
Trish @IamSucceeding says
January 5, 2010 at 6:12 amHmm Off the bat I thought of my youngest who has a blanket he has had since birth…a silky tag that he rubs between his fingers…has done that as long as he first found that tag AND I need to sleep with it the first night after I wash it so it smells like Mommy(his words).
For me I am not so sure… I will have to take the five days and figure it out…thinking it may be a very good thing to spend time on though.
I love all this stuff you throw out…really makes me think.
Your dog was beautiful too!! Quite the handsome fellow! So sorry you no longer have him.
dragonmamma says
January 5, 2010 at 6:33 amLoud music. Or a loud, stupid action movie that doesn’t require any thinking. Or taking a walk.
FLG says
January 5, 2010 at 6:35 amI don’t even know… I don’t even know where to begin. I don’t think I have a single thing that works all the time. Sometimes angry music, sometimes fun music. Sometimes punching and kicking, sometimes running, sometimes making angry faces, sometimes talking to myself. Sometimes playing the guitar will work, learning something to take my mind off it. Sometimes blogging will work too, writing it down.
I have lots of ways to help me get through, not so much to get me back to calm, but to stop it from getting worse?
Maybe that’s not self-soothing?
Nancy says
January 5, 2010 at 6:39 amI think for me the selfsoothing is a run.
When I run too much it becomes painful when I run the right amount it is calming.
More than anything with this thought provoking post I want to thank you for including those of us without kids by referencing Hercules (LOL @ Flinchy).
I am childless by choice and feel left out some days in the blogworld.
Nan
Nancy says
January 5, 2010 at 6:41 amI reread the post. Did I miss where you shared yours?
Or is it a secret?
POD says
January 5, 2010 at 7:26 amI like Sarah’s comment about going to the coffee shop. My sis and I have been going on a weekend morning, getting a cuppa, and a lowfat oatmeal blob (not anything recognizable) and share while sitting in the sun. Since Hannah lives nearby, sometimes she meets us and our day is complete.
If I’m alone, I self soothe by listening to music, listening to NPR (soothing?) or gardening which I have gotten back into this year. I had neglected it for a long time. But not now.
I try not to soothe with foodthe.
Natalia Burleson says
January 5, 2010 at 7:36 amVery interesting topic Carla! Well for me I always thought that over eating was a way to soothe myself. But now I feel that it has been a way to punish myself. Before, during and after my childhood I have always felt worthless, I feel like the overeating was more of a way to punish myself and reinforce the worthless feeling.
To soothe myself these days, I deep breathe! A LOT! Maybe close my eyes, as long as I’m not driving or doing something else that I need my eyes for. I find to soothe myself I need quiet!
I have noticed that as J gets bigger, so does the noise. That tends to frazzle me and like Hercules I get a bit flinchy! Never tried licking my forearms, and I don’t think I’m going to start that now. π
But I do feel that deep breathing, closing my eyes, quiet and a hug work wonders for me! π
Tracey @ I'm Not Superhuman says
January 5, 2010 at 7:43 amI have a few. I usually clean when I’m stressed or mad (or bored or anxious or…). But I also like to putter around Barnes & Nobel when I need a break. Coffee shops (but not Starbucks) are also soothing to me.
JavaChick says
January 5, 2010 at 7:43 amI really don’t know but now I will be trying to figure it out!
Rachel says
January 5, 2010 at 7:50 amFor awhile I think food soothed me, but I’m trying to get out of *that* unhealthy behavior. Sleep is nice. And so is a good book. Being by myself is also sometimes what I need to re-energize.
Jody - Fit at 52 says
January 5, 2010 at 7:51 amWhat a cool post! Loved it! CUTE doggie!
Stress – lots of times I work that out with working out. gets my aggression out on something else.
Self-soothing is different to me. It is to calm me in general. Only in recent years have I been able to find this & that is just going somewhere & sitting & reading with a cup of coffee or just sitting & people watching or just sitting & watching my fav TV shows BUT NOT FEELING GUILTY ABOUT DOING NOTHING PER SE. That is self soothing to me.
Sagan says
January 5, 2010 at 8:02 amAw Hercules is a cutie.
This is a wonderful idea and something I’ve never thought of. I have no idea what mine would be… hmmm. Will have to ponder this and take those five days to explore the self-soothing.
Teresa says
January 5, 2010 at 8:28 amJust the title of this one caught my eye. Very clever! I guess the most soothing to me is to snuggle up in my recliner with my dachsund and a cup of hot tea. I’m sure there are other things, but since it’s been cold, that’s my choice.
Gina Fit by 41 Maybe 42 says
January 5, 2010 at 8:42 amI lightly stroke the inside of my elbow where it bends. I can do it anytime and anyplace. I’ve done this for years. Don’t know where or how it started. Never thought about it until now.
(I felt silly writing about it, thought it might seem strange. Then I remembered your theme “Unapologetically Myself”…so cool and empowering…thanks).
Kim says
January 5, 2010 at 8:45 amHair twirler in da house π
Miz says
January 5, 2010 at 8:47 amloving your comments….
Elisabeth says
January 5, 2010 at 9:22 amMy greatest form of self-soothing is looking at beautiful things. I make it a habit to visit the nearby Smithsonian Museums as often as possible. The portrait museum calms me like no other. I love looking at beautiful portraits of people…I love how the paintings capture so many different emotions, and how many of them have captured a part of American history as well.
I don’t consider myself to even be the “artsy” type, but for some reason I completely lose (soothe) myself with art.
Ann says
January 5, 2010 at 9:32 amNot sure…thanks for the thought provoker. Will ponder over the next day(s).
deb roby says
January 5, 2010 at 9:37 amWherein I come clean. I rock. I have since I was a tiny tot and just never out grew it. Thank goodness I stopped sucking my thumb somewhere around 8.
However, I rock almost all the time. so while it soothes me, I need something different when I’m really cooking…
When feeling a lot of stress, I walk. If I can, I punch something.
When things are feeling out of the control, I do laundry. I have the cleanest wardrobe you know.
When I need to think a problem out, I clean.
Basically, when possible, I destress by mundane physical activities that give me both a sense of accomplishment and way to let my sub-conscious focus on the problem while I zen out.
Quiet spa-like soothing music? darkened rooms and candles? MAKE ME WANT TO PUNCH SOMETHING HARD.
MizFit says
January 5, 2010 at 9:45 amQuiet spa-like soothing music? darkened rooms and candles? MAKE ME WANT TO PUNCH SOMETHING HARD.
ADORE that, Deb. What soothes is so so very personal (and, if youre me, takes a long while to unravel and find.)
debby says
January 5, 2010 at 9:54 amSelf-soothing for me (in the past) was most definitely a candy bar. Many was the day I took a quick afternoon break and headed down to the gift shop in the lobby of the hospital for a candy bar. Not because I was hungry. ‘just for a treat.’ But it was always at the time when the stress and tiredness really gets to most people…
Now, definitely hand-work of almost any kind is self-soothing to me. Knitting, quilting, spinning, rug-hooking. Whatever is handy and nearby. And believe me, something is ALWAYS nearby.
Diana (Soap & Chocolate) says
January 5, 2010 at 9:55 amWhat a great anecdote, and starring your doggie too! He passed on wisdom for the ages when he, er…passed on.
[moment of silence]
And what a tough question–I think I’m not too sure how I self-soothe. I’d like to think I don’t have much occasion to! But when I think about the times I’ve felt down or anxious, my first instinct is almost always to watch a favorite movie. I guess that means my soothing method tends toward the sight sense. I love seeing the familiar scenes and even love older movies for the comforting sense of nostagia they lend to movie-watching.
I want to pay more attention to how I soothe myself now, though! I wonder what else I’ll discover…?
jenn says
January 5, 2010 at 9:56 amThis is an interesting post (slobbering aside), since I never really thought about self-soothing before. I think I soothe myself with food – actually, I KNOW I soothe myself with food. And not in a good way.
I will make time to find some non-damaging ways to self-soothe – perhaps this is the link that will help me keep the weight off!
Diana's Body Journey says
January 5, 2010 at 9:57 amNo kidding. This is the best post MF! It’s something I’ve been struggling with. I’m trying to find an alternative to compulsive eating. I didn’t even THINK of some of those options. The best I got was journaling. lol. Thanks SO much. I will take up the challange and take some tips from y’all.
Kimberly Lee says
January 5, 2010 at 10:00 amMy father says that I have been self-soothing since I was two hours old, when I began playing with a strand of hair on the left side of my head. To this day, if I find myself feeling stressed – whether in traffic, a long work related conference call, or a disagreement with the husband – I will twirl that same strand thru my fingers until I relax.
While twirling my hair may be the oldest of my self-soothing techniques, I am also calmed by certain smells – apple cinnamon candles and chocolate chip cookies baking to be precise.
It would be interesting to find out what soothes me in terms of vision, hearing, and taste.
Tina says
January 5, 2010 at 10:31 amI swear my little Sophie does the same thing! Glad to know there are other dogs that do that. This is a great post Miz. I could only think of one and that is the smell of lavender. I have soap, pillow spray, candles and essential oil versions. Whenever I smell it, it makes me feel clean and to me, clean is calm.
Shelley B says
January 5, 2010 at 10:40 amSo interesting – I remember when my kids were tiny – Sam would calm down as long as he had his Joshua giraffe – rubbing the neck did the trick. And Max had one particular corner of his blankie – that and his thumb was all he needed.
Never thought about how I self-soothe, although in the past I can see it was with wine. However that’s been long gone…honestly, I don’t know what I do. I must do something, right? I’ll have to be more aware and figure this out because now I’m curious!
P.S. Your Herc was a gorgeous dog!
Alyssa says
January 5, 2010 at 10:42 amI remember something my son’s preschool teacher said. We were discussing stimming, things people with autism do to calm themselves down, and she said that we ALL have these types of behaviors,; it’s just that autistic kids haven’t yet learned to do them in a socially accepted way. Some people jingle change in their pocket, others (like me) play with their hair, etc.
It was such a WONDERFUL thing for her to say, because it took away some of the “weirdness” associated with my son’s (and daughter’s) behavior. The idea isn’t to stop the behavior, but to channel into something less distracting and easier on them. (My daughter likes to play with string. It is very soothing for her.)
Quix says
January 5, 2010 at 10:48 amGreat post, hadn’t thought about this at all!
I have lots of self-soothing techniques. Used to be smoking and drinking (while I won’t lie and say I’ve completely given either up, it’s not the first thing that comes to mind). Used to be junk food (I tried this the other day and just put it away and got out veggies instead).
Now, I find mindless tv and internet dorking soothe me. So does loud music (happy or angry depending on my flavor of mood). Sometimes it’s a nice, easy run outside where I get to take in the scenery and feel good throughout. Sometimes it’s a workout to just before the point of breaking – where you can’t think of anything but moving your body and every ounce of will to keep going. I am also a notorious fidgeter and I suppose the little movements soothe me also. Will have to continue to think on this!
Britt @ Runnerbelle says
January 5, 2010 at 11:02 amRunning, a glass of wine or mindless tv.
Unfortunately I have to take it easy the next few weeks so basically mindless tv is what I’m left with. I think I might try meditating though…. seems more productive than mindless tv.
Juice says
January 5, 2010 at 11:10 amWow. Fascinating post and equally fascinating comments. I’m not sure exactly how I self soothe but I’ll be paying attention!
I do know that I use books to numb sad feelings. I’ve read my way through a few heartaches…
Cindie says
January 5, 2010 at 11:13 amI never really thought about this much, but I think the thing that soothes me the most is cleaning! I feel much better when things are in order, so I like to clean when I’m stressed. I always feel better when the house is orderly and I can tackle another soothing activity like cooking.
Another thing I like to do, which isn’t so much to self soothe, but feels like a self indugence, is to read a book or magazine in the hot bath tub.
BK says
January 5, 2010 at 11:28 amHa!!!! I never really thought about this BUT when I think about it.. depending on the type of ish I’m dealing with is how I respond!!!! Work Stress below level 5 – cardio.. work stress above level 5 – 1,2,3 or more glasses of wine/bottle??
I got my assignment.. WOW thanks MizFit.. *got me thinking*
Lori (Finding Radiance) says
January 5, 2010 at 11:29 amHercules was beautiful! Self soothing for me used to be food (or maybe that is self-medicating….). Now if do a lot of deep breathing. Sometimes on a cold night, snuggling in the electric blanket with a book is super soothing.
I find that pets themselves are a great soother. I just pick up the kitty and bury my face in her fur for a while. Animals just seem to know when you need them, don’t they?
'Drea says
January 5, 2010 at 12:14 pmLove the discussion about self-soothing. I’m a huge fan of it.
I self-soothe by taking a long bubble bath and reading a magazine (O or Shape).
I also plan to treat myself to a massage more frequently.
Suzanne says
January 5, 2010 at 1:01 pmGreat post. Reading and browsing book stores is always a favorite, but in an emergency I find yoga stretches REALLY soothing. A few up/down dogs, some neck rolls and happy baby pose and I’m ready to regroup – I do this in my office a lot – luckily I have a door that I can close so I don’t subject my co-workers to my…ahem…self soothing!
gina (fitnessista) says
January 5, 2010 at 1:05 pmwhat a great topic! smell is a huge one for me. before an anxiety-filled event (exam, public speaking, getting a shot), i spray my favorite perfume on the inside of my wrist. right before said event, i take a whiff, and all the nerves float away π
cuddling with the puppies always soothes me, too π
Debra says
January 5, 2010 at 1:43 pmGreat post. It has been a while since I checked in. On a good day (me being good in response to stress), reading, walking the dog or being alone calms me and on a bad day, a few glasses of wine.
AJ says
January 5, 2010 at 1:50 pmI take a good strong nap when I need some self-soothing. Sometimes reading a good book.
Diane Fit to the Finish says
January 5, 2010 at 2:15 pmI enjoy sitting in the living room with a good book and a cup of tea. And it’s even better if all the kiddos are up in the play room playing.
This happens about once every six years. . .
charlotte says
January 5, 2010 at 2:20 pmHmmm… I’m not sure which “sense” category this falls under but my number 1 way to self soothe is deep, focused breathing.
Like POD, I find NPR oddly soothing. Hypnotic?
Love Hercules:)
Mary Meps says
January 5, 2010 at 6:12 pmThat has to be the sassiest blog title ever, Miz. π
Immediately I think Yoga. I spent years searching for balance. That’s where I found it.
Standing at the summit of Pine Mountain does that for me, too. Instantly. Must be one of the reasons why I love it so much.
Tricia says
January 5, 2010 at 6:30 pmI pick up a romance novel make a glass of hot green tea and then soak in the tub. Never fails to sooth me.
love2eatinpa says
January 5, 2010 at 7:22 pmwow, great post, you really made me think. if this were a few years ago, i would have said FOOD. but now, for me, working out helps, but if it is not a workout day, sometimes i just need to be alone and have some peace and quiet to regroup.
cammy@tippytoediet says
January 5, 2010 at 7:22 pmwarm sunshine and/or a good book for me
Crabby McSlacker says
January 5, 2010 at 7:44 pmGreat topic! (And adorable dog; so sorry he’s no longer around).
For me, a walk and some pleasant music do wonders. Or, for quick relief some deep relaxed breathing.
Nikki says
January 5, 2010 at 9:47 pmmostly a brisk walk will suffice, sometimes a cup of tea and a 1/2 a box (or more) of bon-bons(depending on the stress rate) while I write in my journal! (which I burn later)
Great post
Cheers
s says
January 6, 2010 at 1:21 ammy go-to stress relievers are deep breaths (e.g. when someone is rude on the subway! haha.), a cup of sleepytime tea, and procrastinating my worrying to some set later time in the day. that seems to work pretty well actually.
Lucinda says
January 6, 2010 at 2:08 amthe library, can’t be angry there or sad. So i find it soothing, although yesterday a friend and I had a stupid argument in the library and I wanted to get out of there, because I could feel myself starting to steam, it’s my happy place!
Hanlie says
January 6, 2010 at 4:37 amWow! This is one of those posts that made a light bulb EXPLODE in my head. Helloooooo! Thanks Miz, I think you’ve just provided a quantum experience.
I have no idea how to self-soothe in a healthy way. Guess I’m going to have to get licking until I find my S-Spot!
Debra says
January 6, 2010 at 5:26 amI need the lack of stimuli to soothe myself. I like a dim quiet room where I don’t have to interact with anyone. Sometimes it has to be the restroom at work and I can pop in there take a few deep breathes with my head against the door and just let it go.
Tessa says
January 6, 2010 at 6:04 amWhen is was still stuck in my very unhealthy maxim stress job from hell I used to listen to angry music -preferably nirvana or foo fighters- LOUD on my way home. By the time I got home I usually felt a lot better. Not good for the ears though.
Now that I have escaped the need for angry music therapy is no longer there.
Reading seems to do the trick now. I guess it’s another kind of escapism. The only disadvantage there is that it’s hard to stop reading once I’ve started ;-).
Michelle@Eatingjourney says
January 6, 2010 at 6:28 amI had this realisation this weekend on my trip. That when I get stressed or angry (like I did w/ a friend) I want food..tons of it..and then my stomach gets TOTALLY wacked out.
all.my.issues. COME UP!
So I took major deep breathes. Stopped eating. Went for a walk.
I lick my forearms w/ fresh air.
It is so important that I got that..FINALLY!
Jenny says
January 6, 2010 at 8:29 amThis is such a cool post!
Working crossword puzzles or listening to music is how I “lick my forearms”..crossword puzzles help because they occupy both my mind and my hands.
Lauren says
January 6, 2010 at 8:55 amHi! I recently came across your blog, and absolutely love it. I wanted to comment on this post, because it’s particularly relevant to me lately. It came to my attention awhile ago that I don’t really have an outlet for stress/anxiety. I’ve always been a creative writer and an avid runner, but neither writing nor running are really ‘cathartic’ to me–maybe because I (consciously and unconsciously) put pressure on myself to excel in those areas.
Anyway, I thought long and hard about my self-soothing techniques (I didn’t really label them as such, but I love the phrase!), and identified a few that really work for me:
-As so many other people have noted, coffee and a good book/magazine always makes me de-stress.
-Baking something I thought up–no recipe to follow.
-Yoga.
-Sparkling wine–it just feels very girly and invigorating, haha.
cammi99 says
January 6, 2010 at 11:58 amLoved the post. I have a dog that twirls. Sits on his butt and spins round and round. Baboon-butt does not look good on a dog!
For me it’s a warm bath and a good book.
Happy Fun Pants says
January 6, 2010 at 3:14 pmI can’t even begin to tell you how inspirational I found this post. I’ve been thinking a lot about how I soothe myself. It used to be by over-eating and then it turned into running. For a while, all I did was look to others. Now I’m not quite sure what it is that I do to self soothe because it’s something different every time.
Ironically, NOT eating my emotions helps me to soothe myself and feel more in control.
Anyawy – this was a fanastic post. π
Oh – and I have a HUGE Great Dane so the fact that you all had a Mastiff just helped me like you even more! π
Happy Fun Pants says
January 6, 2010 at 3:14 pmI can’t even begin to tell you how inspirational I found this post. I’ve been thinking a lot about how I soothe myself. It used to be by over-eating and then it turned into running. For a while, all I did was look to others. Now I’m not quite sure what it is that I do to self soothe because it’s something different every time.
Ironically, NOT eating my emotions helps me to soothe myself and feel more in control.
Anyawy – this was a fanastic post. π
Oh – and I have a HUGE Great Dane so the fact that you all had a Mastiff just helped me like you even more! π
LoneWolf says
January 6, 2010 at 6:10 pmAt first I thought “this should be ‘why’, not ‘how'”. But getting past that, there is a very interesting question — how do I self soothe?
I know that there are things that do make me feel better, but how often can one get out and play 18 holes of golf? Especially in the frozen northland!
I don’t think there is any one thing that I turn to, but I find that hitting the computer (surfing, blogging, programming) is one of them. Getting out and getting physical (golf, ball hockey, snowshoeing) is another.
carolinebee says
January 6, 2010 at 7:26 pm*RIP Herc* Awesome to see u in Fitness mag Miz π Love the new kicks, and i hope u had a wonderful holiday with your loved ones!
MMM says
January 8, 2010 at 11:00 amWOW! I never thought about it. I need to think about it though, thank you!!!
Emily Wallaec says
January 17, 2010 at 5:54 pmi have not thought about it-perhaps i should
JKSARAKA says
January 18, 2010 at 8:39 pmi LIKE TO SIT AND READ OR JUST MEDIATATE. I LIKE READING SPIRITUAL BOOKS,MAX LUCADO IS A FAVORITE AUTHOR.
Gesele says
January 18, 2010 at 10:31 pmWhile true that licking forearms is a way to self-sooth, it is also a sign that a dog is bored. And boy, how many of us EAT when we are bored! I haven’t given it much thought to the correlation between the two, but now I have a lot to “chew on”… I wont eat when I’m bored, so I wont have goopy wrists. Now I have to consider how to self soothe. Interesting thinking…great post
Golfer-Guy says
January 21, 2010 at 12:54 pmGreat topic! Thank you for bringing it up.
I have 20 years of sobriety thanks to a 12 step group for alcohol; I’ve attended other meetings and they all talk about trying to fill the bottomless hole (stress/anxiety) inside with drinks, drugs or food – but out of control (obsessively) because they do NOT fill the hole – just complicate or poor self image (as Valerie pointed out).
So I look to other things like you all do – I like TV shows – but they are flooded with food adverts.
I do find reading a good book with soft (instrumental) music in the background calms me. Sometimes I just put the book down and just listen to the music.
If it is nice weather I’ll drive to a secluded beach/park and take a short walk and find a place to sit and LISTEN to Mother Nature’s comforting sounds. I also play golf and sometimes late in the day around twilight, I’ll see deer and other gopher-like creatures taking back THEIR habitat. If I am alone I’ll smile and tell them “Just one more shot and it’s all yours again. Thanks for sharing your domain.” – and the same for you carlabirnberg!
BTW are there any other men who read this and share???
Jill says
February 15, 2010 at 11:22 pmGee, I’ve never thought of how to self soothe each of my senses…but here goes.
I know I spend a lot of time on the computer, but I also love to read, listen to music (sense of sound) (what I listen to depends on how I feel…I always have my ITunes library on shuffle/repeat though),
and I’ll play Xbox 360 (my current favorite game is Sacred 2: Fallen Angel
http://www.sacred2.com/en.html)
I love to burn scented candles and watch the flame flicker (I make my own candles so I guess I could have that as for sight and smell)
taste…anything sweet and/or salty,
and touch would have to be snuggling with my fiance (preferably) or the dog. I also love taking hot baths with good smelling lotions, etc, but will have to settle for showers until we get our own house (currently living at the future brother in laws)
Hope you like my super long comment. π
Jill says
February 15, 2010 at 11:23 pmP.S. to whoever said they are a hair twirler, I used to be too! π
TomPier says
May 4, 2010 at 1:21 amgreat post as usual!
Connor Bell says
June 21, 2010 at 11:43 pminstrumental music is very soothing and relaxing.-‘.
Aaliyah Wood says
July 23, 2010 at 10:21 ami always listen to instrumental music whenever i want to relax.:*.
Bookcase Plans says
October 16, 2010 at 6:47 amPlease keep up the good work – it is always good to know there are people out there who put this much effort into providing information for free on the internet.
Dress Pants says
December 16, 2010 at 12:12 amwhen i am relaxing, i would love to just hear some instrumental music instead of regualr music -“
Kreditkarte Online says
December 23, 2010 at 10:49 amIch habe gestern eine Kreditkarte ohne Schufa online bestellt. Eine einfache und gute Sache, gerade wenn man online bestellen will.
Denise @ Do you have that in my size??? says
January 5, 2012 at 8:35 amI need to figure this out PRONTO, especially something that I can do at work to self-soothe. Mindless eating of sweets or salty snacks works but at a tremendous cost and I need to make that stop, so let’s figure out what would be a good substitute.