Everything in Moderation, including Moderation

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My name is Karen and I am a reforming yo-yo dieter, on my way to what I now consider a lifelong journey of healthy living; I blog about my progress (and missteps) at Waisting Time.  I’m excited to be here today because, while I started out blogging for myself, what keeps me going is being part of this amazing community filled with inspiration, camaraderie, wisdom, support, and laughter.  Thanks to Miz for inviting me to stop by.

I can’t eat one cookie.  Or piece of candy.  Or slice of bread.

Some people swear by the dieting philosophy “everything in moderation.”  But 100-calorie packs aren’t only 100 calories when I eat three in one sitting!  And Skinny Cows can make me feel like a fat cow when I eat the whole pack in a day:(

All my years of yo-yo dieting have taught me things about myself; now I need to apply what I have learned.

I know that I have very little willpower and self-control as relates to food.  I do better with a black and white approach – no gray areas.  (Like the one serving of pasta that supposedly won’t kill me.  It may not kill me but it can easily lead to a week-long binge!)

I am most successful when I cut out all refined sweets and “bad” carbs – no moderation.

Last year when I was consistently eating well and had cut out junk food and refined carbs, I didn’t even miss the stuff.  I could buy my boys pizza and treats and serve warm bread with meals and not feel the slightest craving or sense of loss.  I could walk through the grocery store and not hear Milanos calling.  I could keep my hand out of the chip bag.  I felt great – physically and emotionally.

So I decided I could handle moderation.

And I did, for a time:  the occasional treat was always followed by a quick return to healthy eating.  But then came a long weekend away with family and my sister-in-law’s zucchini bread and brownies.  And bagels.  And ice cream.  And when Monday rolled around I didn’t get right back on track.  I started eating more and more crap and regaining more and more weight.  At first it was just one little pound.  Then two.  Then before I knew it I no longer fit into my skinny pants and my days were filled with thoughts of food.

I’m torn when I envision my future – the future of a fit and trim, healthy eater.

Will staying there mean a lifetime without another piece of fudge or toasted bagel?

Maybe I need to adopt the paradigm that, much like an alcoholic should never take another sip; I should never eat another “bad” carb.  Maybe I will eventually forget the taste of chocolate cake and not miss it.  I believe that the old cliche is true: nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels.  So am I willing to sacrifice certain foods on the altar of healthy eating?  I have learned that, at least for now, I can’t eat just one.  One becomes two, two becomes three, three becomes an avalanche.

But on the other hand, I think that at some point I should surely be able to have enough daily control over my eating that I can indulge in a rare treat.  And not have to classify any food as “bad” or off-limits.

Doesn’t that seem like a more balanced and realistic lifestyle?  After all, no one gets fat from one piece of cake.  But can I do it?

I know that I will need to be very, very careful.  I have learned from my painful mistakes of yo-yo dieting years past and I am slowly making progress.  And I feel confident that I will eventually come up with a livable, lifelong plan that I can and will stick to.

Maybe I need to come up with a new definition of moderation for myself.

Or maybe I need to throw the idea of moderation out with my fat pants.  But for sure I will not buy any more 100-calorie packs of anything!

How do you handle moderation in your eating?  Are there certain foods you just avoid?

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Comments

  1. Yes, there are certain things that just canNOT come into the house. (I’m talking about you, Pringles) And moderation isn’t always my strong suit either. Lately I’ve been trying to ask myself why I’m about to eat what I’m about to eat. That has talked me off the ledge of a few bad decisions. But overall, moderation is my goal every morning as soon as I wake up.

    Great post!

  2. I have some compulsive tendencies and have found that there are some foods that I just can’t be around. Cookies. Candy. Most sweet pastry/baked goods. I just can’t have one and let them go. I have one, then another, then two more, then the whole dang plate. So I mostly do without or if I just have to have one I go buy just one at the bakery and savor it.

    Sugar is a trigger for me and I recognize that so it’s better for me to just stay away. I’m finding that I really don’t mind. If I really really want something sweet I grab Greek yogurt or dried fruit or fresh fruit. It’s good subs for the processed junk.

  3. There are no foods that I just avoid anymore, I keep a wide variety of food in my house at all times. I have removed the emotion from food and have worked through the reasons why I was overeating in the first place.

    Nutella used to be one of my “bad” foods and now, I’ve had the same jar in my pantry for almost a year now. Overeating just doesn’t really appeal to me any more – no matter what the food is.

  4. I can’t handle some things (SUGAR! SUGAR! SUGARS!) in moderation. I just can’t. As soon as I eat some in “moderation” I want moremoremoreMORE. So I just have to stop and not have any. Avoidance works better in some cases than moderation. But for everything else I try to practice moderation.

  5. Well, well, well. You just never who you’re going to find over here. 🙂

    I go the other route and emphatically declare that nothing is off-limits. Somehow, telling myself that I could have anything as long as I meet my nutritional goals and stay within my recommended calories, flipped a switch for me. But just to help myself out, there are foods I don’t buy and keep in the house. There are bakeries galore here, and I do well buying those things one by one. 🙂

  6. I am actually pretty dang good with moderation. Portion control has never been a problem for me. EXCEPT. Except…those friggin’ 100-calorie packs of junk and Skinny Cow treats and the like. I can’t just eat one. Nope. It never ever works. I had to stop buying 100-calorie packs because I would eat three at once as well. And those oh-so-delicious varieties of granola bars? Yeah, four in a day, easy. And you know what? It’s not because I lack will power or have a problem with portion control. And it’s not because you lack will power or whatever either. It’s because of what those processed, low-calorie foods do to our brains. The food makes a promise that it does not fulfill and our body says, “I WANT MORE,” and it’s extremely hard to say no. So I have banned those foods from my shopping cart, from my house, and now, I always snack responsibly. 🙂

  7. This is like the chick version of me. Feast or famine! Moderation is tough. Sometimes it seems I can have the occasional treat. And sometimes it’s like lighting a fuse. Great post.

  8. Ooh, I know how one treat can lead me right off the wagon. Carbs I can handle, but sweets and sugar? Whoa baby! (I’m looking at you, Pumpkin Spice Hershey kisses!) I just can’t stop at one unless I physically remove them from sight. I’d hate to cut the stuff out completely because that leads me to other issues, but I will conquer moderation!

  9. When it comes to dinner or snacks, I’m fairly controlled. I won’t eat an entire bag of potato chips. I don’t even like potato chips that much. And dinner? Eh. But I massively fail when it comes to sweets. With a big chunk of cake in front of me, the word moderation loses all meaning. The best I’ve learned to do is to portion my sweets out and put the box/bag away. If I take only two cookies, I can’t reach for a third.

  10. I have some sort of treat every day. It helps me not go hog-wild on weekends, vacations, parties, etc. Also when I do eat more indulgent things, I can stick to small portions. It’s really come with forcing myself to push past the all or nothing mentality. I battle binging when I try to not eat certain things. I do always avoid anything that makes me feel bad or anything I don’t absolutely love. I couldn’t imagine not being able to have things I genuinely love. I will admit that I gained weight while learning how to truly practice moderation. I had those binge sprees when I felt I had “free reign” but then eventually my body got so over it and I did too. I really learned what foods I loved and most turned out healhty. I realized I didn’t care for crap candy (besides candy corn ;)) or packaged treats. Then, after I reached that point, I was able to get in even better shape than ever and have a better relationship with food.

    I never think my ways are for everyone, but I do know how fulfilling it is to find that balance that makes me truly happy. I hope you find what works for you too! 🙂

  11. Some foods are just OFF LIMITS – BROWNIES- because I cannot eat just one! I almost feel like I wrote that post – I have been stuck bouncing around the same 5 pounds (when I still have 50 to lose)for just this reason…I think I can handle some stuffs in moderation but really, I just cannot!

    Karen, thanks for sharing this story and I wish you Good Luck in your journeys. Much love!

  12. That is SO me!!! I have a hard time with moderation and self-control too. When I cut those foods out of my diet, I do okay, and then when I try to add them back, I go overboard! I’m an emotional eater too, so sometimes it just depends upon on the day of whether I’m craving those sweet foods for me, but I haven’t quite figured it all out yet…

  13. Nothing is off limits, absolutely nothing. You know how much weight I’ve lost and I eat hot wings every weekened, go to the sushi buffet once a month, have a cheeseburger and fries typically during the week, as well as Mexican.

    Not only have I been able to lose weight, but I also have a completely clean bill of health — cholesterol, blood pressure, etc.

    I love moderation, it tastes delicious.

  14. Karen is in the Miz House – Oh Yeah…

    Ugh, 100-calorie packs – these need to be put on the highest shelves in the store so nobody can get them.

    Envisioning being in a future of a fit and trim, healthy eater… I don’t see the tearing there myself. Is there going to be a lifetime of challenege to maintain being that once we arrive; yes! The best things we do for ourselves in life are challenging.

    Moderation is a good word, a good approach to that which we know is not the best for us. That said, no foods should be completely off our list, if they are omitted we aren’t practicing moderation we are practicing exclusion.

  15. I have the same problem with “bad” carbs, I can’t eat just one. I’ve eaten the entire box of 100 calorie packs and feel helpless to stop. It is better to just avoid these trigger foods altogether until I learn how to eat them in moderation. Practice, practice, practice ….

  16. I don’t.

    I am usually only okay if I am distracted by something making my life busy. Thoughts engaged busy, not stressed busy. Then I find myself eating very well.

    It’s happened twice in my life.

    Other than that, I really like Your and Marisa’s view that it’s just a habit I need to DO.

  17. YUP I totally relate- I can only handle so much “moderation” and most of the time I just don’t buy the stuff. Out of sight out of mind. In so long and I’d rather not buy the stuff because I worry it can get out of control again.

    Great post!

  19. How’s this then: Moderation in everything…including moderation, and even THAT should be moderated!

    I think it’s a balance. Sometimes just go without and leave the weakness out of the house, sometimes allow yourself a small and reasonable portion, and maybe once or twice a year allow yourself to go wild and whole hog and splurge on your special foodie crush! I’ve done this for many years now and find it works really well.

  20. I believe in moderation even in moderation, and even THAT should be in moderation.

    Here’s what I mean. I find a balance works really well for me and my family. So I just don’t buy and keep around the house much in the way of cookies, ice creams, candies. ANd I have young kids and they’re used to it. But occasionally we’ll have a treat and then it’s a fairly small, moderate amount. But once or twice a year…then it’s go wild and splurge!

  21. I was just thinking about this the other day – wondering if I will ever be “cured”? Oh, I’ve lost the weight and I’ve done a pretty decent job of keeping it off for years. However, I don’t know moderation or portion control. What control I have is exercised at the grocery store when I make decisions not to bring certain foods into my home. I try to make the decisions when they are easy, not when I’m staring down cookies at 9pm. Does this make me a failure because I can’t practice “moderation”? Don’t know. Maybe one day I’ll learn it. For what it’s worth, I will buy and eat treats and such, but only in single serving things and only away from home. Nothing comes in that will make me have to make more decisions about it. Those foods take up to much space in my head.

  22. Those 100-calorie packs don’t do it for me either! What’s “working” for me (meaning that at least I’ve finally stopped GAINING weight) is having as much as I want of a treat every once in a while, and having absolutely none in between. That way I don’t obsess about what I’m missing, and I don’t pack on the pounds either.

  23. I have to be really careful about the processed sugary treats because they tend to leave me wanting moremoremore! Same for a lot of bar-snacks – TLC makes some great ones, but when I’m reaching for the third one of the day, then I know it’s time to send the box to work with my husband and not buy them anymore. Forever? Who knows. For right now.

  24. Karen, you have succinctly said the jumbled thoughts that have developed over had this past year while trying to make healthier changes and shed pounds — a year scattered with many yo-yo moments. (I’m a binge eater and compulsive eater and also deal with depression).

    Thank you for your post. Thanks, Miz, for inviting her.

  25. Only one item is now off limits (ice cream), but I only allow myself “bad” carbs when I plan to eat them. Now, this might be often, like every night during a cruise, or I could go weeks without letting a refined carb past my lips. While I continue to lose weight at a turtle’s pace, we don’t have any temptations in the house so that my planning requires even more effort.

    Moderation is not in my genetic code….

  26. I sometimes can go overboard as well, so I only occasionally buy certain things that Im liking to overeat (ie: ice cream). But in order to overcome it I do try to have things that Im likely to overeat in the house. One step at a time!

  27. I LOVE the title of this post!

    For me, so far there are only two foods I will not keep in the house because I cannot eat them in moderation: chocolate chip cookies and Costco trail mix w/M&M’s. I don’t eat much sugar or flour or processed food by choice, because those also can set off the wanting and overeating. Its more peaceful this way.

  28. Moderation is a tricky business with those foods that trigger us because there are may complicated things going on in our brains telling us to keep eating beyond moderation. I am learing about this from “The End of Overeating.”

    His recommendations for dealing with it are to recognise it and create new habits which allow you to stop the triggers from activating the overeating. So that means being mindful, as some people have mentioned, and avoiding some foods, as others have mentioned.

    Portion control of trigger foods take superhuman strengh for some of us. Not something you can expect to happen right off the bat after getting to a goal weight. I think it comes over time – a lot of time!

  29. Amen, amen and amen! Once I got over the I can eat everything in moderation mentality and realized I well couldn’t I began to love and treat my body with more respect. Thank you for being so honest about this!

  30. Great post Karen. You can’t get rid of me, I followed you over here! 🙂

    While I like to take things in moderation (remember that one blog post) it’s definitely not for everyone. If I don’t do moderation, I just end up binging later..although..sometimes even when I do moderation..I still end up binging later. But I digress, you have to find what works for you. But, there are DEFINITELY some foods that I just plain can’t keep in the house. Like this week, my husband brought home a vat of puppy chow (chex cereal covered in a mixture of melted chocolate and peanut butter, tossed in powered sugar), and I can’t stop eating it for ANYTHING! So, like I said, there are still things that I can’t keep in the house, but most of the time, moderation works great for me. 🙂

    Also, when I do have my moderation “treat” I do try to make sure its something I really want and crave. Sometimes, I’ll end up having my treat for the sake of having my treat. Anyway, enough rambling!

  31. Awesome post Karen, and consider yourself supported 🙂
    100 calorie packs are the work of the devil for a lot of reasons, which I won’t go into here. You are delightful and brilliant and doing it, making it, achieving it!

  32. Pumpkin spice Hershey’s Kisses? I think I need to stay far, far away from those. Moderation is something I struggle with (I think many of us do). So often, “just one” turns into “the whole damn bag.”

    My column for this Sunday’s Food page at my newspaper is on that new “Moderation Nation” initiative launched by Hershey’s and the ADA.

    • I love chocolate as much as the next gal, but something about the “Moderation Nation” initiative makes me go, “Hmmm.” Even though the “ADA” involved is the American Dietetic Association, not the American Diabetes Association or the American Dental Association. 😉

  33. Oh…. I’m afraid I’m in the “Carb Addict” club. That’s why I do best aiming for low carbs. However… I really don’t think carbs are the problem, it’s the kind of carbs. I would never pig out on brown rice and quinoa and millet. Only on bread and crackers and chips. And SUGAR!!
    There must be a middle ground, however, and I hope, as you do, to be able to handle moderation one day.
    I do know that when I was eating my healthiest, I really couldnt’ handle more than a tiny bit of sugar or chocolate at a time. I felt it instantly. Maybe it’ll be like that again.. I hope, I hope…

  34. I think for some of us, even one is a bad thing. Permanently. That, however, is just my opinion, and may not be so.

    I’m certain it is for me.

  35. Hi Karen! You know I see relate to the foods you love.. we are alike in that!!! 🙂

    I think with time you will find what works for you & that will get you thru as a “lifestyle”. It took me a long time to figure it out but eventually I did & also how to change it up with what my bod was going thru during certain times in my life….

    As you know, I say about me, a work in progress always.

    I just know you will get there. Don’t give up. I know you aren’t!!!! 🙂

  36. I have reached the place where I can eat what I’m craving, realize it doesn’t taste nearly as good as I thought it would, and go back to my usual ways. Not to say that I don’t have bad days, or even the occasional bad week. But I have never reacted well to forbidding myself from eating certain foods. I started by reducing portion size, then with exchanging ingredients. Knowing thyself is the most important step.

    And I’m a 100 calorie pack hater. Why eat 100 calories that don’t satisfy me when I can eat a huge apple for half the calories and 1000 x the satisfaction?

  37. I think if you keep working at it you will find a balance that works for you.

    Your story use to be my story. As I ponder what changed to get me past it I think I had to redefine what my idea of what deprivation was. If I ate that junk food that would make me want to have more of the same,I was depriving myself of being who I wanted to be, looking the way I wanted to look and feeling the way I wanted to feel.

    That was deprivation to my mind and soul, food can’t fill that need for me any longer.

    There is no foods that I don’t buy and have in the house but there are plenty that are here in my pantry that I chose not to eat because I know they are addictive for me. I try to limit dessert type foods to once in a while for special occasions.

  38. I can’t have junk in the house or I”ll eat it if I can see it…a few nibblesful at a time (all on one day with the best of intentions). I tend to avoid those 100 calorie snacks. They are never enough and tend to be all sugary…I’m not a huge sweets person. For me, I’d rather just indulge in a small amount of something I really like after having been healthy and “good” for a few days…and I make sure I thoroughly enjoy it. I can’t guarantee I will do “just a few” of anything…I keep healthy snacks around for when I need something, but a lot of it is asking myself why I want something. Often I’m not really hnugry – it’s something else…

  39. Ah yes, I’m a cold turkey kinda girl myself. As we say at my house, I don’t just fall off a wagon–I fall off, chop it up for firewood, and dance around the flames.

    There are some foods that I simply can not be trusted to have in the house. Maybe one day that will change but I know myself and have learned to work with what I have/am.

    I once went 10 months without a single morsel of chocolate. How? Cold turkey. One mouthful at month 11 and that was it. Though frustrating that I fell off that old wagon again, I also can say that I went 10 months without chocolate. I CAN do it. I have to go cold turkey but that’s what works for me.

    The point of this whole life journey is to learn what works and what doesn’t, right? (And to keep 100 calorie packets out of the house!)

    • “I don’t just fall off a wagon–I fall off, chop it up for firewood, and dance around the flames.” <- That nearly made me shoot hot tea out my nose! LOL!

  40. Great post!

    Chips and dips. Breads. I just can’t moderate it. It’s like you have to rip the chip out of my hand and throw it away and pour vinegar on it in order for me to not keep eating.

    If I eat sugar, I crave sugar. If I’m off it- I’m good. No cravings.

    I easily drop weight without “dieting” if I moderate these simple things. I get into trouble other wise.

  41. This was a great post! I think the important thing is that we keep trying until we find out what works best for us. I’ve been thinking about this a lot after reading “The End of Overating.”

    My body can’t handle carbs in the amounts that are common in most carb foods, especially the highly processed ones. The amount that would satisfy “moderation” in an amount safe for me turned out to be so minuscule as to make it not worth it. I haven’t labeled foods as “forbidden,” I view them as worthy/unworthy. (Semantics, but hey, whatever it takes to trick my brain into cooperation.) After a period of “food detox” – in which I had some pretty strict rules about what I would eat – highly processed carb foods started tasting really unworthy. So stuff like cookies and ice cream don’t bother me when it’s the boring kind. When I want some, I seek out a few bites of something top quality, outside my home.

    That said, foods that are primarily salt+fat are the ones for which I’m still seeking a better balance: bacon, pizza toppings, nuts, and the like.

  42. For me, it’s all about my MINDSET, which is constantly changing. Sometimes I am POWERLESS against popcorn (ok, make that most days), so I try to avoid it.

    I find I do best when I eat “trigger foods” with other people. It turns it into a social thing, and it also makes me feel as though I don’t need to be guilty AND I don’t overeat when people are there with me. So that’s safest: to avoid eating those things when I’m alone, but allowing myself to eat them with others.

    Great topic.

  43. Karen, Great post. It’s sobering to think that there may not be a place for brownies in my future, but I know, for now, that I am not safe with them in the house. But your’e right—THIN feels so much better, for so much longer, than the “mouth feel” of eating one (or a batch) of brownies. I think I’m willing to give them up if I find I can’t “do” them in moderation. I know that there ARE treats that I can do in moderation, so maybe that’s okay.

  44. HI Karen and MizFit,
    I am a little scared to respond to this post. Not because of what I have to say, but, because I am fearful of saying something and the opposite comes true. But here is the deal: I used to not be able to stop at one. But here goes:
    In my case and only three months ago one slice of sourdough toast with a little butter would lead to, well let’s say lots more. Same with cookies (but only the good kind and healthy like oatmeal or peanut butter) would lead to more and more. But, since I started on this journey, I have been able to live (so far) with moderation. When I went to California in late July, I indulged in a burger and a few fries and a hot dog. That was it. A few fries were plenty. As Karen knows, I build in foods that I enjoy eating so I do not feel deprived. So far it is working. So, yes moderation feels just great for me right now. BUT, and this is the BIG BUT, the test of time will come soon. Can I continue to go down this path without binging or being self destructive. I would like to say I could, can and will, but I am not certain. And it isn’t the holidays, because I am not afraid of them. So, time will tell. Thanks for being a guest blogger, now I know something about MIZFIT. Have a great weekend you two!

  45. I am exactly the same way, no doubt. I am on vacation and normally I would eat my healthy stuff and be happy but now when faced with baked spaghetti I eat the whole plate. Ugh, I Don’t even Feel Full. It is an interesting problem one I have learned the only solution is avoidance. Even after losing 66 pounds and 11/2 years later nothing has changed. Mindful eating as in eating for health and not to satisfy current hunger is a constant battle. Thank God I am training for a marathon!

  46. I used to think I could never handle all things in moderation, and I just said “no” to everything. However, over the past year, I’ve started to relax the rules a bit, and it’s been great. I feel much more normal around food. If I’m at a wedding, I’ll eat a piece of cake…never would have touched it a year ago. Would have skipped all food at the wedding and then went home to eat my “safe foods”. So not fun way to live. I’m much happier now and learning to listen to my body. 🙂

  47. thanks again Oh Waisting Time for coming over to my neck of the ‘net & sharing such a thought provoking post.

    Youve started some interesting conversation here at my house as well.

  48. What an interesting post. It really has me thinking this morning. I think it’s possible to write your own definition of moderation since everyone’s emotional and physical needs are so different.

    Personally, I’ve been trying to focus on intuitive eating lately – eating what I’m craving at the moment and stopping when I am full. It’s much harder to do when you come from a history of using food as a crutch. I personally love Christie’s comment of “I have removed the emotion from food” – that’s such a strong statement and I find so much truth in its importance.

    I’m still at a point where I try to keep certain foods out of the house because I don’t trust myself 100% of the time. I know one day I will.

  49. The ability to eat certain foods in moderation seems to be different for each individual. In Karen’s case, she knows her body and what works for her. If she isn’t craving it when she cuts it out, she’s probably far ahead of the pack. I know that I can’t keep certain foods in the house without being tempted. It’s all about knowing yourself and your weaknesses.

  50. Excellent Post. Karen – you are an awesome blogger and responder 🙂

    I can moderate some food and other I just plain can’t (right now). I work on it daily.

  51. I have to put moderation in my life. Right now, if I cut out some of my favorite foods, I know I couldn’t do this for a lifetime.

    So far (4 1/2 months) it’s been working. I keep Hershey Kisses in the house (have a 4 year old that is easily bribed). I’ve had the ability to eat just one…..just one and that’s it. It takes the edge off of my chocolate craving and keeps me from going to “get gas” and buying a whole bad of something bad and eating it on the way home.

  53. I’m just like you. If I buy the 100 calorie pack then I am eating at least three of them at a time. If I have something bad in my house like cake than I want to eat it all in one day to “get rid of it”. Moderation is a tough call for foodaholics.

  54. For myself, I put limits on foods I know I shouldn’t be eating. I used to be a fast food junkie, so now I don’t eat it at all. But I say to myself I can have it once every other month if I’m really craving it. That way I know the option is there but I have limits. Also, not making it off limits completely makes me feel like I’m choosing not to eat it as opposed to not allowed.

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