The great fitness experiment (giveaway/video)

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OK.

Before we launch into the the grown-up portion of this post I must share with you a blooper.

Thirteen seconds which indicate how truly frickin tired this misfit it Ren Man (AKA my cameraman) & I laughed about for AGES.

ONWARD.

The video below began as my FTC disclaimer and, well, you can see what it turned into:

(extra points if you spotted my ‘error’/second indication of how this misfit needs her child to sleep! rest.)

Yes a purely & unadulterated ode of love.

At which point I decided it might be better to just turn the proverbial reigns to the woman about whom I yammer: Charlotte.

Please to enjoy:

Every health expert tells you to do it. It requires zero equipment.  You don’t even have to be “fit” to try it.  Practitioners swear it does everything from curing chronic pain to aiding in weight loss to nuclear disarmament (Ahmadinejad clearly is not a devotee.)  And yet, when was the last time you meditated?  Yeah, me neither.  What is it about meditation that is so &%*$ hard?!?
I think the problem is that it is too easy.

See, all of my previous Experiments (that’s what I do – try out a new fitness program every month!) have required real effort to do them. I had to go places, schedule classes, read books, get equipment, print workouts, e-mail (read: pester) various experts and talk things over ad nauseum with the Gym Buddies. Sometimes I even had to convert kilograms to pounds. You know a workout is serious business if it requires math. But with meditation it’s so simple – just sitting quietly and consciously for 15 minutes a day – that I push it aside to make room for the more complicated things.

Determined to make meditation work, at first I tried to remedy this problem by making meditation more complicated. I decided to read books and research papers about it, ask questions of Zen masters and explore different types of meditation. All of which I faithfully did… instead of meditating.

Obviously this wasn’t working. I decided to bring in the big guns. Sensei Don told me at the beginning of my Karate Experiment that meditation was a big part of Karate; that eventually you get so good at Karate you can meditate while killing people. Those may not have been his exact words but I’m sure that’s what he meant. So at my last lesson I asked him about how to meditate Karate style. Of course I asked this at the end of a long, sweaty class when it was late and everyone was tired, not to mention sitting on their heels which meant that our legs were also falling asleep.

“Well, it’s called Zazen meditation,” he politely started. “And it’s complicated, so I don’t really have time to go into tonight.”

Complicated? Requires explanation? Fancy name? I was thrilled! I raced home and fired up Google to check out this special form of meditation. Here is what I learned: “The aim of zazen is just sitting.”

Um, what?

Well if you want to be techinical about it, “The aim of zazen is just sitting and opening the hand of thought.” Okay then.

Anyone who knows me in real life knows one thing about me: I am very bad at sitting. Very very bad. For instance, I don’t watch TV or movies. I haven’t seen a television show or movie, other than the rare BBC or PBS documentary, in over two years. Most people assume that I avoid television because I am some kind of cultural ascetic. The truth is that I just can’t sit still through them.  All I can think about while sitting in a movie theater is all the other things I could be doing and how contrived the plot is and I wonder if I could knit in the dark, I mean they say that Helen Keller could knit so it must be possible and I would love a new soft sweater and WHEN IS THIS SHOW GOING TO BE OVER ALREADY I HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO KNIT WITH MY EYES CLOSED! (Reading the above just made me realize I probably need meditation more than the average person.)

I was going to have to make this a priority. I would have to schedule it. At first it felt onerous. Why am I just sitting here? I could be… blogging about sitting here! But I did it anyhow. And then yesterday happened. I won’t go into all the details but it was a rotten awful day. Bad news from many fronts, obnoxious children (mine, of course) and frustration on every level. My normal coping technique when things go very badly is to go work out. But I had already used up all my gym hours in the morning and my husband wasn’t home and the weather was too cold to go outside. I couldn’t exercise. I felt the panic start rising – my stomach clenched, I felt nauseous and my heart raced.

I locked myself in my room (Mommy’s in time out! Go eat cookies or something!), said a quick prayer and then meditated. At first it was a real struggle. I actually cried with the effort of calming myself down – anyone who has had a panic attack knows exactly what I’m talking about. My thoughts were such a cacaphony that I tasted blood before I realized I’d just chewed a hole in my lip. But then all my practice started to kick in. Since I’m only at the beginning level of meditation, I focused on breathing deeply in and out while picturing a serene lake nearby where I grew up. I just sat there and breathed.

My effort was rewarded with an overwhelming sense of calm and peace. A couple of times I opened my eyes but the feelings threatened to overwhelm me again and so I returned to my zen state until at last I could open my eyes and continue to feel safe. And that’s really what it was – a deep, sure feeling of safety. My panic was gone, my calm restored and none of my children were beaten. I didn’t even need to eat half a bag of chocolate chips like I normally do when I’m feeling that frazzled! Success on every front!

I’m officially a convert. Meditation is a powerful tool. Hopefully I can remember this and stick with it. It’s not about being perfect at it or even knowing everything about it. It’s just about doing it.

Where do you fall on the meditation spectrum? Do it every day religiously? Can sit still as long as there is no trickling fountains nearby to make you have to pee? Hate it?? Got any tips for me?

Enjoyed this? Want more? Check out my blog The Great Fitness Experiment (c) 2010.

Want a free copy of the book The Great Fitness Experiment: One Year of Trying Everything ? It’s yours (well, one of yours) for the low low price of a comment!

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Comments

  5. I heart Charlotte too and her book. So good!

    (Also I heart you and your bloopers 🙂 And your lack of fear to share them with us!).

  6. I was so busy admiring your back and arms I almost didn’t notice you wrote “CHRA”.
    I love her blog too. Think her book will be great!

  7. I see you have a new way to spell Char! And I am even without much sleep!!! 😉

    I am like you.. I love Charlotte’s writing.. it is like you are right there with her no matter what she writes!

    I so would so LOVE to win & read her book. She is amazing!

  9. I like that meditation-while-killing-people idea. Not that I actually need to kill anybody, but I do feel much calmer after intense physical exercise than after attempting the meditating thing.

  13. OK, I busted a gut laughing at FBI.

    Then I heard you say “FTC” on the second video and thought “ah, there’s the second error”

    Then I saw you write “CHRA” and went…wait…what? It ISN’T the “FTC”??? It’s the “FCC”???

    And I checked my last review post and yes, I call it the “FCC” – wonder how long I’ve been doing THAT?

    How have I not gotten arrested by the FCC? Who IS the FCC? Why hasn’t the FTC corrected me? You mean to say I’ve been doing that dumb disclaimer and they aren’t even reading my blog?!? Hmphf.

    Oh, nice review on CHRA’s book. 🙂

  16. Wow, Carla! {{{Hugs}}} I know those days! I’m living through overwhelming times as we speak and have been for just over a year now. My tendency is to push it as far back in my mind as possible and keep other things in the forefront so I just don’t have to deal with it. Works for a little while, then it all comes flooding out.

    I try to meditate every now and then. I either get distracted or worry about being there too long and being late for work. I have dogs, too, so they always need some kind of attention. They can’t wait 5 minutes for anything, much less 15-20! I’m a Reiki practitioner, so meditation is important if I’m getting ready for a treatment.

    Another big problem for me with meditation is Monkey Mind. I can blank out, then slowly the little thoughts start creeping in until they’re running rampant without me realizing it!

    So, that’s my story about my attempts at regular meditation!

  17. Loved the misspelling – made me laugh! I do that stuff all the time, but I’m still a hyper-editor and catch it immediately when others do it.

    Maybe I need to start meditating so I can let it go easier?

  18. I need a read for the holidays that will allow me to try something new. I am all about supporting fellow bloggers in the process!

    Cheers,
    Missa
    LosingEthel

  20. Ooooh, I LOVED Charlotte’s book! (I’m a huge fan of her writing and her blog, too.) I think this book is unique among fitness books, not only in its “experimental” format, but also in its insights about body image issues we face in our society and in Charlotte exploring the very personal motivations behind her quest.

    (I’d gush more, but kid duty calls!)

  22. I relate so much to this post! I have tried meditation many a-time, but haven’t been able to turn it into a habit yet. I have also tried to solve this problem by making it more complicated; however, this hasn’t helped. I am determined to make it work eventually!

  23. Another blog to checkout with the stamp of approval by you!

    I was wondering what chra was short for.

  25. ahhh the mediation conundrum. Nike should sponsor us in it – Just do it!

    Elizabeth Gilbert discusses the run away mind issues of meditating in – eat pray love. I totally identify with that, but make myself do it especially during this time of year. Can’t wait to read Char’s book.

  27. I have just recently been researching meditation and am looking for a way to incorporate it into my daily life. I’m hoping to achieve that level of peace and self connection regularly…wish me luck!

  28. Loved the blooper of course and instead of ohm-ing we can just say “Chraaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”.. to help us meditate. I too am unable to sit for periods of time & I’ve been trying to get through Yoga which is painfully slow to me, so meditation even hurts more. I’ll continue to work on it though, because I know the few times I’ve been able to get through it, I wanted to do it again. Thanks for the inspiration to meditate Miz, you always know what’s bestest for us!

  30. The blooper was really cute!

    I recently read about new experiments which documented the rise in serotonin (or was it dopamine??) right after people had finished yoga. Makes me want to experiment with more stuff, too.
    Loretta
    =^..^=

  31. I don’t make nearly as much time for meditation as I need to. No real problem sitting still, just a problem getting myself to make the time for it. I love the feeling I get from it, so I’m going to have to start fitting it in.

  33. Yay! I love both your blogs. And I am terrible at sitting still and meditating. I believe that I meditate while running. And would love a copy of The Great Fitness Experiment! Keep blogging Ladies!

  34. Meditation – gah. I know I should give it a go, but I can only manage a quiet-ish minute or two if I’m also stretching or if I’ve done yoga. Otherwise it’s too difficult to relax physically. Tense, who, me? A fun read, thanks!

  35. Well, thank you ladeez. I’m now the proud subscriber to a new blog. Gotta say I love the snark on the cookie cutters. And also, I love the trying to meditate state. It’s about as hard for me to eat intuitively as it is for you to meditate.

  36. meditation/yoga have always been something I have wanted to try but never gotten around to – I may have to give it a shot one day in an attempt to calm my constant nerves!

  37. I love books. I especially love books I can use to overthink what I’m doing so I don’t have to actually do it! Maybe having a book that constantly points that out will help me with that.

  39. You are hy-freaking-larious.

    Don’t enter me, because I already own, read, and LOVE the book. BUT, I wrote a review of it on my blog if anyone is interested.

  40. I like the concept of meditation. It’s just the practice that eludes me. I’m working my way in slowly by not skimping on savasana time at the end of my yoga practice. Gee, I think not thinking is really hard! 😀

  41. I would *love* a copy of the Great Fitness Experiment! I keep going to the local bookstores hoping it will miraculously appear on the shelves despite the staff telling me they wont get it till after the New Year.

  44. I have tried meditating soooo many times and just can’t get it. I too sit there thinking of the million things I have to do. I tried doing it first thing in the morning, but was too concerned I wouldn’t have time to blowdry my hair, I tried mid afternoon but my boss told me to stop sleeping. I tried before bed, but just fell asleep! It is one of my goals in life, but I just can’t seem to master it!

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