Social Media ANXIETY!

by

Please to enjoy another AT-REQUEST guest post. I read this on Cynthia’s blog. Adored it. And asked to reprint it here.

Iā€™ve dealt with anxiety since I was a teenager.Ā  Debilitating panic attacks were common until I was 20 years old.Ā  With the help of a wonderful counselor and psychiatrist I learned new coping skills and adjusted my medications.Ā  Itā€™s not uncommon for a person with Bipolar Disorder to have anxiety.

Today I cope fairly well.Ā  I get anxious in new situations, like meeting the mother-in-law or high stress work events or blogger meet-upsā€¦nothing more than normal.

The area I struggle most is social media anxiety.Ā  I am anxious and awkward in real lifeā€¦why would I want to be the same on the internet? I avoided social media until my friends pestered me enough and now Iā€™m a Social Media Believer.

Thanks to some wonderful friends, Iā€™m fully addicted to social media.Ā  With this addiction comes a whole new set of anxieties.

I admit to frantically checking Facebook, Twitter, Message Boards, Blogs and blog comments to see if thereā€™s something new.Ā  Iā€™m afraid to turn off or tune out for fear of missing something.Ā  Heather and I were out to dinner when the Marie Claire debacle went down.Ā  I felt so out of the loop – although dinner was fabulous and I wouldnā€™t trade the company for the world.

I hate ā€œMark All As Readā€ for the same reason.Ā  I only subscribe to blogs I love to build friendships and stay in contact.Ā  My Google Reader has to be at zero before bed so I can relax.Ā  Neurotic? Yesā€¦but itā€™s a small comfort after a long day.Ā  When I donā€™t read, Iā€™m lost.

I tried to ā€œmark all as readā€ once and only once.Ā  After a long work trip one of my favorite bloggers had a lot of posts to read so I clicked that magic button.Ā  Guess what? In those ā€œreadā€ post I missed that she bought a house!Ā  I had to read all the posts to find what I had missed. Talk about anxiety!

The worst is twitter anxiety.Ā  Is it possible to tweet too much or too little?Ā  Are others interested in me and my life or do I needā€œsomething to sayā€ ?Ā  If I tweet and not a peep tweet is uttered in response did everyone else think it was dumb?Ā  Do I spend too much time online to see whatā€™s being said only to suck time away from real life?

Social media brings such wonderful connections and helps me to stay in contact with friends both near and far.Ā  I even made new friends and blends.Ā  I live in the boonies and work strange hours so this is a big perk.

I donā€™t have a lot of answers to this problem of Social Media Anxiety.Ā  Here are a few guidelines Iā€™ve set for myself and try to live within.Ā  Perhaps they can help you too.

  • Set a bed time and keep it. My Google Reader does not need to be at zero.Ā  The posts will be there tomorrow.Ā  If I need to, I can read them later.
  • Use Online-Stopwatch. I love this too and am indebted to Caitlin for mentioning it.Ā  I set the timer for 30 minutes or an hour.Ā  I read or talk until the buzzer, then shut the darn computer and go enjoy life.Ā  If I get anxious I remember ā€œtheyā€™ll be there later.ā€
  • Practice Skimming. That trick from high school English works great for post reading.Ā  You donā€™t need to read every word, every time.Ā  Skim through the post to see if you want to read more later.Ā  Then mark it as a favorite to go back.
  • Use Twitter Wisely. If you spend every waking moment on twitter (or Facebook or any social media tool) you miss the purpose.Ā  Itā€™s about being social.Ā  Focus on building relationships with others.Ā  You may not talk to everyone but you can build strong relationships that turn into real life friends.
  • Use Google Reader into categories. This trick saved my sanity.Ā  All the blogs in my reader are divided into categories based on how I read them.Ā  On my busiest days I can choose the blogs that are most important for that day and try to Mark [the others] as Read.

Iā€™m in control of what I read for the day and not my anxiety.

These are tricks Iā€™m trying and they may not always work.

The anxiety isnā€™t going to go away if we sit around and do nothingā€¦so why not try?

Do you get anxious with social media?

POSTS BY EMAIL

Never miss a post. Enter your email to get my latest posts delivered to your inbox.

Comments

  1. Even I have learnt to kinimize anger after marriage.

    Conversation is the only relation we have with other people. So if we talk good all will be good friends – this is what my husband says. I realized & it works!

  3. This is sooo good! Thanks, Cynthia! I use my iphone timer, but the online thing would work just as well.

    One of the things I noticed at Blissdom was how many people spent most of the time looking down at their phones or computer keyboards and NOT looking at the person who was speaking, whether onstage or across the table from them. Very disconcerting!

    • I purposely don’t have an iPhone or smart phone so I can’t stay connected 24/7. So tempting when I see others but I know it would only cause more stress.

      I want to enjoy moments with people and hope to save my computer during Fitbloggin for when I’m not around people or only to learn new tricks.

  4. Oooh! You are so smart!

    I do tend to get a little anxious about social media especially reading blogs. If I wake up 10-20 minutes late I sometimes go into all or nothing mode when it comes to seeing what my favorite blogs are up to. This kind of thing really is the least of my worries so I don’t know why I get all crazy like that.

    By the way…I like how you’ve organized your Google Reader. A lot.

  5. What if there’s a blog (like mine) that crosses over into every category. I mean, it’s a funny craftie nutrition cooking workout organizing blog. Better put it in EVERY folder just to be sure. šŸ˜‰

    Good post!

  6. What a fantastic post & I bet many are thinking how much this helped them! Unlike most, I don’t do Twitter for the very reasons you touched on – I barely have enough time just with my blog stuff & add Twitter to that, I doubt I would get anything done & I don’t get much done now! šŸ˜‰

    I love your suggestions though! I don’t use a reader. I subscribe to my bogs via email for those that let me & the rest I just try to remember to check…

    I think social media is great in certain ways BUT it has effected our face to face interaction in not so good a way. They say kids that grew up on this don’t know how to interact socially in person!

  7. Thank you for the tips! I too have found that I just have to set a time limit and then shut the laptop and walk away. There is always something hilarious/poignant/interesting/brilliant to read – it’s why I love social media and it’s also why sometimes I just have to tell myself that it’s okay to miss things. I can’t read every good thing. So glad social media helped you with your anxiety!

  8. Hehe I like the concept of the online stopwatch!

    This was a great post for dealing with anxiety – anxiety can be a toughie to deal with. I think it’s important to be OKAY with stepping away from the computer and such… to be okay with our own anxieties.

  10. It can be a struggle for all of us I think. You asked some really good questions that I think all of us have a hard time finding GOOD answers to on a day to day basis.

    Thanks for sharing with us Cynthia! You’re the best!

  11. I am new to this so the list of blogs I read are still short and manageable. I can’t help thinking about what will happen when I have more blogs than I can handle. I know I will need some sort of system but what will that be? Thanks for this post it puts some preservative on my anxiety. I enjoy what I read and if I find a blog that does not relate to my focus I will read it a few times and make the decision to continue or not. At this time this is and easy thing to do but what happens when I have a lot of blogs to read. I guess time will tell. Great post! Thanks šŸ™‚

  13. My obsession with clearing out my google reader is more about hating clutter… which translate to clutter there and in email too. I used to have to start clearing it out first thing in the morning! But I have finally learned that is not the most efficient approach for me. I am not on FB much and tweet sporadically. It is soooo easy to get sucked in:)

Trackbacks

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This