Cucumbers are my love language.

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About a year ago, during a marriage counseling session, the Husband mentioned something which bothered him. "Carla's birthday is coming and I have absolutely no idea what to buy her." This surprised him. This, to him, showed a greater disconnect between the two of us than he'd thought. This was absolutely no surprise to me. I couldn't identify what I wanted. I wanted nothing. It ... Continue Reading

Praying for what we do not want.

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Years ago, at a yoga instructor certification course, I overshared expressed concern about a situation with a classmate/new friend. And expressed. And expressed. After I concluded my rambles she said to me: Are you aware worrying is praying for what you do not want? I wasn't. I'd never considered framing my frets that way. On a subconscious level I think I believed the opposite to ... Continue Reading

The Power of a Personal Catchphrase.

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*my* personal catchphrase What feels like a lifetime ago I wrote about how I'm not a fan of quotes. And yet, to my surprise, over the years I've shifted my perspective and am thisclose to becoming a lover of the inspirational musings. You'll never find me making a quote-board on Pinterest, but I can now see how many of you glean motivation & inspiration from other people's ... Continue Reading

Is this the last time?

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wasn't the last time. Recently a number of friends have experienced the last time of things. Situations or happenings where it was over and they knew it was impossible to ever go back. Dissolution of marriages. Sudden loss of loved ones. Unexpected job downsizings. Endings of friendships etc. The sort of stuff where you know, now that it's done, you can never return (marriage. job. ... Continue Reading

Are you sound or silence?

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silence. Ive written before about how I classify myself as an omnivert. Even though I feel introverted at times, when I examine the defining traits I see it's not entirely who I am. I don't mind small talk (I've found it can actually reveal a lot about who a person is and what her priorities are). I learn more through jumping in and trying than through hanging back and observing. I ... Continue Reading

Hows the movie of YOUR life unfolding?

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FAVE movie. FAVE client. I love movies. I believe (shout out to you Grand Canyon) all of life's riddles are answered in the movies. I bumble though life pondering who'd play me in a biopic of my life (Julia Louis Dreyfus after lots of begging). I turn to film more often than not to puzzle through problems and watch how different life choices play out. I spent my 40th birthday at STORY ... Continue Reading

The Power of Structured Procrastination.

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Structured procrastination. I stumbled upon this term, coined by John Perry, and immediately fell in love. Not only did I finally have a name for how I lived amazingly enough it included the s-word. A word I'd never dreamed would be applied to the way I conduct my life. Structured procrastination. At first, applying the words to the way I approach my To Do list, the seven syllables ... Continue Reading

5 f*cks Ive stopped giving.

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(Please let me find more f*cks tomorrow!) Lately the number of f*cks any of us are left with on a particular day has become a joke. A more truth is said in jest thing like our collective inability to Adult. This levity is often expressed along the lines of: I'd get all worked up about not being picked for _____ but I have no more f*cks left to give. At first glance it seems just ... Continue Reading

Do we have a happiness set point?

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gratitude. Our 2013 gratitude jar commitment has continued longer than I'd dared to hope. Like over three years longer and counting. Quite frankly, even though she was 7 when we started, I'd envisioned the project as something Id have to make nudge The Child to become enthusiastic about. And yet, to my surprise, she's still typically the instigator of our gratitude moments. Sometimes ... Continue Reading

Parenting inside The Bubble.

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my mental image of The Bubble. A few weeks back I wrote about the potentially toxic nature of secrets. (Aside: I wrote about how I'm terrible at keeping secrets about gifts. A friend clarified presents are *surprises* not secrets. A surprise has an expiration date, a secret does not. Intriguing distinction.) In that same navel-gazing post, I chatted about employing The Bubble in my parenting.  ... Continue Reading

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