Im wearing a loose, around the waist, scarf of pain…

by

and, People, I’m celebrating.

Allow me to back up.

Ive been yammering for a while now about my random, spontaneous injury.

The same owie which caused me to pull out of this race & then yammer about piriformis syndrome.

A boo-boo I’ve no business having as it typically hits hardcorebadassrunners (Im not proud, but I was averaging about a mile a month when it hit).

Why I got it, and more importantly, *what* specifically it is still remains a mini-mystery.

I tennis ball rolled.

I clam-shelled.

I was in more pain than ever.

Not only couldnt I play with the Tornado, I wasnt sleeping  and basically ambled through life thisclose to grumpy.

When I slept, sat, walked for too long, sneezed, coughed. All the time.

(How this amazing amazing woman does it I have no idea. none.)

This pain was so distracting I feel confident in saying if you met me at TypeAMom or Blissdom you did not meet the real me.

I was an exhausted, owie-distracted version of my misfit-self.

It all got to the point I tried things I might otherwise have mocked.

It took me months, but I checked out Airrosti.

While they were a bit baffled by my booboo tootoo, we tried some things and my pain is less.

Im foam rolling more aggressively, I’ve upgraded to a lacrosse ball, Im pigeon-posing, & Im planking like a motherfucker frequently.

All things I either didnt do enough of or not at all.

(which brings me in a rather circuitous way back to my blog post’s title)

One day this fall my super-supporter &  friend Shauna asked how my back felt.

Without hesitation I answered:

It feels like Im wearing a low-slung belt of pain.

It hit me last night.

Suddenly.

As I was going through my regular routine.

I feel almost belt-free & as if Im getting my spark back.**

It was an odd realization.

Back when I had no pain (hello first 40 years of life!) I would have lamented the constant piriformis ache I felt last night.

Now, in comparison, it’s a very welcome achethrob.

I truly believe, in my quirky misfit’y way, there’s a reason behind my experience & it has been bestowed upon me to give me more empathy.

And indeed it has.

I’d thought I was empathic before—-and I was wrong.

All of you who wrestle with chronic pain on a daily basis?

I take my bandanna of to you and pray for your loose, around the waist scarf to come soon, too.

very soon.

xo

 

**Interestingly, when I made the ‘Ive got more spark!’ remark to my Airrosti doc he said he wasnt surprised.  When we are in constant unrelenting pain so much of our energy is focused on THAT/keeping it at bay we do have less energy (AKA spark) for other things in our lives.  I’d say “who knew?!” but Im sure many of you did.

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Comments

  2. Good morning Miz!

    I met you at Blissdom and you weren’t grumpy at all 🙂

    I did the Jockey walk with you.

    Annie

  4. I love your writing, Miz.

    Especially the piece about the foam rolling.

    I need to start.

  6. I’m glad you wrote about this. You have been in serious pain for a long time, and I don’t think a lot of people realized it – maybe in part because of your sunny disposition. So glad you’re getting some relief.

  8. Chronic pain really impacts all aspects of your life. So glad to hear that yours is easing. Yay for lacrosse balls!

  9. I’m so glad you feel better! When I was going through the worst of my adrenal exhaustion I suffered from chronic pain, but it would manifest in different parts of my body on different days. It was hell on earth and I now have much more empathy with pain sufferers.

  11. As always, I am a bit confused.. nothing new there! 😉 Do you think the Airrosti is what helped you most to be on the mend? I so understand as with age & especially right now, I am fighting some stuff & wondering if the Airrosti will help.

    It sounds like you are better & maybe it was a bit of everything but especially the Airrosti??? I am in need of the know! 🙂 AGE!

  12. you are NOT confused—Im not certain. and not questioning 🙂

    the back? SO SO SO MUCH BETTER.
    the piriformis? still stabby, err, throbby 🙂

    not sure what healed what.

    I know.
    I helpful 🙂

  15. A few things stood out from reading this post…first, that you had virtually (said that because I know you birthed a baby) no pain for the first 40 years of your life?!? That is a stunner to me. I’ve had so much pain off and on (joints, massive headache for a year, heartburn, did I mention joints?)that I just get used to feeling it. Huh. Except for the headache, maybe I WOULD have been better off had I been at a lower weight all those years. (I know, what a revelation!). Second, I understand your not mentioning the continual pain in every post…it’s there, it feels like it’s always there, and nothing has changed. You deal the best you can with it and try to move on with life. Third, I’m sorry you have been hurting so much, and I really, really hope that you have now turned the corner on this, whatever “IT” is. (Fun times, having something that is unspecific).

    Have a great day!

  16. I think for the last 10 or so years, I’ve woken with some ache or pain. Having said that most are fleeting and so are not even acknowledges. However, when one comes along that is chronic, it does indeed give a new appreciation for health and well being and for those who really do have never ever ending pain. I’ve been nursing my entire left buttock, left leg region since last November with the pain running all over the place. A couple of weeks ago I said to my Mr. that I thought one day I’d wake up and it would just be gone. This was confirmed during my last PT appt. last week. Really, there’s nothing more to be done except wait it out. And so, I wait. I’m with you, even having the veil lifted a little changes a lot. Hang in there.

  18. Glad to hear your pain is lessening! I can absolutely relate to the chronic pain thing…. the days I wake up with only one thing hurting are the good days!
    Here’s hoping the pain continues to subside.

  19. Ahhhhh – seriously – so bizarre and I can relate. I hurt my low back and it’s been 2+ months….I never realized how much we use our low back w everything! Loading the paper in the copier, unloading the dishwasher, getting in the car, shaving our legs… Sigh…

    Yes – I’ve even been foam rolling (along with numerous other really strange/not so strange things) and I’m pretty hooked now. My BF+ (who is chronically tense) mocked me, and last night gave it a try. Ouch Ouch Ouch he said…. then 10 min later he got back on Ouch Ouch Ouch…. A hurting so good kind of thing.

    Alas, I digress – I’m happy that you’re getting a smidge of relief!

  20. I haven’t had chronic pain myself (my back is more of a chronic annoyance) but we did study it in nursing school. And I never forgot that–how depressing it can be. PQ did a wonderful job of describing chronic pain in her book.

    Anyway, I’m so glad to hear you are having better days. No one could have been more proactive in trying to find a solution.

  22. I’m so glad you’re feeling better.
    When my knee acts up I am one grumpy lady, but I’ve learned over time what my limits are and it’s been much better. No pain, just stiffness. My foam roller and tennis balls are very helpful, although I’ve never had any injury or chronic pain last very long, so I really salute you for dealing with something long term like this. I do not think I would be so civilized 🙂

  23. My high school years I remember being awful as far as pain goes. 6 back surgeries for an 18 year old is pretty sucky. And the procedures and recovery weren’t anywhere near as bad as the pain prior to that.

    At the same time I feel blessed because I think in a way my pain threshold was increased so now, I suffer less during the times I have the standard aches and pains (and sometimes even injuries) of life.

    I too learned empathy but your post was an excellent reminder.

    AND, let’s not forget about the time I went to the Metallica laser light show all hopped up on Oxycontin 3 days after a hospital stay. WOOOHOOO!

  24. Thanks for sharing – it’s easy to forget how much you’re going through when you are so positive/high energy in your writing. I had a brief fling with piriformis pain when I started rowing and running all the time and I can’t imagine not being able to find a way through it. Your video on using the tennis ball was verrrrry helpful. That and a whole lot of pigeon pose.

    Anyway, I’m glad you’ve found some pain reduction. Cheers to loosening that waist scarf!

  27. she said the F word! hahahaha (and I’m happy you are getting sparky). I have a pain in the azz, too. But it’s caused by an outside force (the human-person kind). Eh, I’ll be fine.

  30. I truly hope you have turned the corner. Musculotendon injuries take so durned long to heal. Sometimes you don’t notice so much as they get better, but I find it interesting that we learn to quantify pain much better when it is chronic. A skill not necessarily wanted, either…

  31. I think chronic pain is one of the most demoralizing and depressing experiences one can have. I’m impressed how you are able to see the good in even this! And, for the record, you have always been a very empathetic person. If you’ve added more then you are well on your way to saint-hood! I hope your belt of pain soon becomes just a hint of pain and then not-at-all pain soon.

  32. I’m really glad you’re finally feeling more like yourself again, Miz. You’ve been in pain for much too long now.

  33. I know exactly what you’re dealing with because my wife Anita says that I’m a constant pain in her ass. Okay, maybe I don’t know EXACTLY what you’re dealing with…

  34. What is sad about those who have pain or invisible injuries is some people just do not get it!!! Also, you just do not realize when injured how simply opening a door can be virtually impossible at times. I have great respect for those with chronic pain and how they are able to management their lives. Glad you are feeling better. Me too.

  35. I’m glad your feeling better, Miz! I’ve suffered a few injuries over the years, and it is dang hard to keep a positive attitude. Here’s hoping you’re pain-free soon!

  38. Hey I am so delighted I found your site, I just found you by while I was browsing on Bing for something else. Regardless I am here now and would just like to say many thanks for a remarkable post.

  39. Your posts about your injury have been such a blessing to me. I’m motivated to reframe my thoughts and attitudes toward my injury (very similiar to yours– super tight ITB right hip/glute). It’s been insightful to realize that my identity doesn’t have to be attached to my ability to hike around a lake or ride 30 miles on my bike every other day. More compassion, yes. I liked this thought especially: How wonderful it is that I made it to 51 before I had an injury that impacted my activity level.

    Thank you, Carla. I’m going to find the tennis ball my PT gave me & use it even though it hurts. HURTS!

  40. It was great to read that you are finding relief, and on the road to recovery. Chronic pain… a bummer. But it was encouraging to see someone bust out of that cycle! Gives one hope. 🙂

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