Ive been thinking a lot recently about the lies we tell ourselves and the various ways said fibs can work for us.
Ive already shared how I think fabrication in the name of COSTUMING can be healthy.
We all know the healthy living lies which serve to sabotage our efforts (eating while standing at the fridge doesnt count. birthday cakes are always calorie free.).
Lately, with the Bay Area looming on the horizon & my stuffs stuffed into boxes, Ive become
majorly obsessed with intrigued by the notion of positive self-deception.
So intrigued it’s become a running joke between Ren Man and me.
“No thanks,” I’ll respond when he asks if I want to see an art film instead of Wreck It Ralph. “Bay Area me, however, only attends films with artistic intent and subtitles.”
The ATX Carla may have grown lazy in her promise to _______ (<—insert pretty much anything there these days) but the Bay Area Misfit plans to do xxx and then some.
This positive self-deception restricts itself not just to me.
Yesterday morning (and how this post was sparked) I invited the Husband to lift weights.
“Hmmmm. Not today.” He replied tongue firmly implanted in cheek. “I’ll be lifting really heavy and training super hard when we move so I dont want to overtrain.”
Even though I laughed, I was brought back to the concept of positive self- deception, its proximity to the idea of ‘fake it till we make it’ and the ways overestimating our chances of success at new experiences helps us (the royal us. ME.) feel the fear and do it anyway.
All that to say, loud and proud, Im lying to myself these days and it’s a good thing.
Im bracketing off/shoving away all negative info (rainy weather, hard to get to know other parents, takes a year to feel at home in a new place) & manufacturing a positive misfit’y reality which helps me better approach my situation.
Lest you fear Ive lost my mind, social psychologists agree self-deception, for some, can be an effective approach.
- Research has shown those who ‘deceive’ themselves in a positive fashion can boost self-esteem/make themselves feel better.
- Studies indicate those who positively self-deceive tend to believe they have more control over their environment than they actually do.
- Information shows we’re *happier* when we CHOOSE to hold views about the future that are more positive than evidence may justify.
How does any of this apply to my relocation?
Allow me to share the various ways Ive chosen to lovingly lie to myself about the impending Bay Area me.
The Bay Area Misfit will:
Be so amazingly house/office organized it will blow your minds out (as the child sadly no longer says):
we all know this ISN’T happening.
Be super duper 24/7 social. Non-stop coffees with mere acquaintances. She will NEVER decline an invitation!
look! it’s social-Carla!
Say work? SCHMIRK! There will never not be 1000 screaming kids underfoot. I will fling open the front door when I move in & never shut it:
The Tornado of socializing.
Morph into a runner! This reportedly fun race will be merely one of many:
Hike & bike so much people will wonder aloud if I even OWN a car:
currently COBWEB’y from lack of use.
Get gussied up. A lot. Lottsa (my version of) fancy will be happening in the Bay.
Willie likes me FAAANCY.
Here’s where many bloggers would provide a cute disclaimer, clarify this isnt *really* happening & say it’s an interesting concept to chat about none the less.
People, IM SO DOING THIS and Id love your thoughts.
- Do you think there’s a difference between ‘fake it till you make it’ and positive self-deception?
- Are you one to proceed with caution believing this deception to be a dangerous, slippery slope?
- How have you harnessed the power of positive self-deception in your life lately?