Ive found connection.

by

A few months ago this image made the rounds on social media:

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Image created by Sweatpants & Coffee. I want the sweatshirt.

The picture & its text brought to mind when I taught playground yoga in Oakland to wiggly second graders.

It reminded me how the kids struggled to be still (they were monkey mind incarnate in the most fantastic of ways).

It sparked me to recall a child who stopped me after our morning moments and asked:

What exactly does namaste mean? Why do we say it?

I knew the child was Jewish so I compared the word to Shalom by way of versatility.

I explained it meant, essentially, I bow to the divine in you.  The divine in me sees the divine in you.

The child pondered and replied:

So it means the good in me sees your good?

“Yes!” I told him. “That’s a great way to phrase it.  It’s as though you’re saying to your classmates: I see the good in you, they say it back and you carry the sentiment through your day.  Together.”

meditation1

It was with that in mind I shared the NERDMASTE image and said, quite seriously, how great would it be if we really had a sign to flash?

A gesture to indicate I see your lonely or your nerdiness.  I acknowledge it in you.

A few weeks later, I was talking to the Child and she took her hand and formed a letter C by her shoulder.

Ever accustomed to her not really paying attention wiggles, I ignored the movement and continued with my thought.

Over the next few days, this gesture happened repeatedly during a wide variety of conversations.

“What are you doing?” I finally asked.

“It means connection,” she replied as if it were obvious.  “I’m showing I connect to what you’re saying or doing.”

Connection.

I’m misfit enough to share, from that conversation forward, each time she made “C” I felt heard & happy.

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It was everything I’d joked about with a NERDMASTE gesture and it rocked as much as I’d hoped.

“Ugh I’ve had the longest day.”

C(onnection sign).

“I cannot wait to just relax tonight with Gilmore Girls.”

C(onnection sign).

“…and then I realized I love when The Chairman scratches like that.”

C(onnection sign).

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I often go through life wondering if anyone “gets” or connects to what I’m saying.

I’d falsely thought it would take a giant, tremendous…something to shift the way I felt, but I was wrong.

All I needed was a small wordless gesture of acknowledgement.

A barely perceptible if you weren’t looking for it which signaled to me I wasn’t alone in what I was doing or how I felt.

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I love this.

I think we all could use this.

I think we all start doing this.

Today.

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Comments

  8. Making the C right now! This reminds me of my sorority “handshake”–you put your fingers on each other’s pulse points as a means of connecting your hearts.

  11. Connection – it is THE most important thing. It’s what life is all about. To see and be seen.
    Love this.

  12. I can’t tell you how much I’m loving this and I love the eyes that you have to see a deeper, more profound meaning in something as seemingly simple as a meme. I’d love to have those eyes of discovery that find the relevance in the meaningful in something seemingly disconnected from anything profound.

  20. This is definitely one of the things I love most about writing. I love being able to share a struggle or a good time and have people connect to what I am saying. It’s a great feeling to know that you are understood and it helps break down many barriers when that happens 🙂

  27. I love this! When I used to teach first grade we used to make a hand gesture to each other in the classroom That was like the Hawaii Shaka sign to show that we had a connection with each other. It was a great classroom tool and such a quiet friendly way to acknowledge one another. I love that your daughter does this with you.

    I have a connection 🙂

  31. It’s a name sign in ASL if your name begins with “C”- which mine does. So you are signing my name that I use in ASL classes.

    • It’s sign language-so no it’s not “new”-just twisted what it really means to deaf and hard of hearing individuals.

  35. First of all, I love your daughters outfit – just thrown together, but it probably was comfortable – this coming from a woman who back in high school would just wear the sweats I wore to bed to school the next day – while my twin sister had been up for hours with wardrobe changes and fixing her hair – it used to piss the shit out of her when people called her Biz by mistake – she was like “how can you compare us at all??!”

    And second, I loved this post. That is all. 😀

  37. Oh, I love this and need it with my oldest son. Lately I feel like we aren’t connecting on any level even though I’m trying everything I know to do. Hopefully it is just a 16 year old phase that will pass.

  42. Right now my hand is on my chest In the form of C. I love it! And it makes me feel good to connect our nerdy weirdness and all. Your daughter is brilliant and thoughtful

  49. Connection. I love it! So important.

    I’m writing about friendship for tomorrow and again pondering that issue of connectedness.

    Deb

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